Unspoken Love - Her Events

I still remember the first day I met him or in my memory, perhaps it was the first day I saw him. I'm not sure that he would remember me at that day. The day was the first day of school and everyone looked tidy their new school uniform up. I was one of them if I had not run out of Kleenex and snot in my nose does not flow quite heavy. I half-ran to class. Five minutes until the ceremony start but I could not possibly resist the snot in my nose to not go out and no one I know bring enough tissue to accommodate me to blew my nose, at least not my best friends, Soo Jung and Min Ah. The building used to carry out the ceremony was not far from the school building used for classrooms but it obviously takes more than five minutes for the trip come and go away. I do not want to be a late student to school on the first day ceremony. I had no other choice but to run faster. I hope no one sees me running because obviously there is a regulation that prohibited the students to run in the corridors.

I ran while continuing to hold the nose, do not want to let a drop of snot fell without my knowledge. I ended up in a room that would be my class for a full year. I draw breath long enough to set my breath but impossible because my nose a little full of snot and I do not want to choke the snot inside myself. Surely you know that there is one nasal passages that have a direct relationship with the channel in the throat so it is not impossible for you choke on your snot for yourself. Before it happened I walked over to the bag hanging by my desk. Fortunately, I chose a table not far from the classroom door so it was not much waste my time to take a pack of tissues in my bag. I incorporate other wrappers in my blazer’s pocket. I know how badly myself when I have a cold so I will bring a few packs for the whole day at school.

I can not stand to throw snot that already deposited in the nose and pending to be issued a few minutes ago but will spend a lot of time to go to the bathroom to do it while the ceremony may be or has already started. I do not know how many minutes passed. I noticed my surroundings. Everyone had already left the building. So I think certainly not a problem for me to finish my work here alone. I made sure once again that there is not someone else near me. After making sure I got back on my pack of tissue and pulled out a sheet of paper. I spread the tissue folds and prepared to pull out all that is in my nose. It would be an unpleasant sight to be seen and heard even to myself.

I took a breath and a second later I was unpacking my nose loudly. I pinched my own nose with a tissue that is equal before seeing the thick liquid that had been hits. I shudder and feel disgusted to myself. I hastily squeezing the tissue into a ball and put it on the table. Then I took another tissue and do the same for the second and third time. For the third time, the voice of my nose dwindling and my breath became more relieved. I'm sure now the snot who has a great voice has left my nose, if only for some time because I was sure she was going to come again in any minutes. I put the tissue pack in other blazer pockets, just in case. Then I took three tissue that has been squeezed before. I drew a sigh of relief and smiled a little to myself. I never knew that blowing my own nose can make me happier.

Yes, very happy and cleared up until the time I thought that the entrance ceremony taking place and I had to walk to another building immediately. I do not want to pat my forehead because my hand was full of stained tissue so I quickly turned my body and preparing to walk out the door of the classroom. However there was something I did not realize before. The classroom door that I left open since earlier is no longer open. The door is not closed but there are other objects that prevented it from opening. Like a statue, standing firmly objects. I watched from top to bottom, the object has hair, has two eyes, two ears, a nose, a mouth, a pair of hands and feet. I blinked. Obviously it is a human and the other students look wearing the same uniform.

"Sorry, I do not mean to, I just. , , passing and heard some noise, "he said quietly. He bowed his face, a little shy to speak. He scratched the tip of his head.

I could be misinterpreting this attitude as a gesture that one does when trying to express his feelings. But not with current events. Not if I remember that a short while ago, I had just completed the act of relief and happy at the same time was shameful in my life.

I just waste of snot. I swallowed.

Geez, of the many ways to meet someone the first time, why should I waste snot anyway?

Especially if the person who I met for the first time it has something that I can not explain in words. He is interesting, that's it. He probably just was a white horse prince who I’d been waiting in my life but a princess, would not be wasting her nose in front of the prince, right?

For the first time, I want the world to swallow me alive.

*****

From a brief meeting on the first day of school and at other times when I stole a glance at him, I realized. I realized that the figure was quite mind and time-consuming. I did not know since when. Maybe since I decided to avoid him. Because I know for sure when I tried to avoid him, I was more intense to watch his movements. I do not want to miss another accident which caused me to have to deal directly with it. What if we met and he accidentally remember my face? Of course it would be very embarrassing for me. It's just that without realizing it, I had little else about him concern in my heart and I know that maybe I was interested and loved. If the matter is I love him, I chose to secretly loved. I do not want the worst possibility that he would reject me because I was the first girl he met was blew her nose loudly in a public place without shame. For a moment I really regret to blow my nose at that time and how usually I ignore my grandmother remark about the 'first impression'. Now I realize that the 'first impression' is important. Especially if it concerns about the first meeting with someone that who knows could attract my attention.

One semester passed, and now I know exactly who caught me in one of the most embarrassing reality in my life. He has a name. The name that I know quite by accident when a little girl ran to him in a corridor leading to the school cafeteria. "Oh Sehun". The most beautiful name I've ever heard. Beautiful as when the name was rolling in my mind, I imagine he seems almost perfect.

One semester went by and I was silent at my place while occasionally stealing glances at him. I would find him in the morning, walking with two friends headed to their lockers. After two weeks of watching him I knew that his line locker is right behind the line of mine so very often, I heard some of his conversations with his friends. Some are more severe when I came home late from school and school was almost as quiet as the grave, I hear other conversations behind a wall which made by these lockers line. A conversation about a declaration of love. I only once heard that kind of declaration that happen to Sehun but I'm sure he has received more than that. Surprisingly I became silent as the girl managed to declare his love. I want to hear the answer of his mouth and it was a great relief because then the answer is: "I'm sorry". I do not need to know what the reason is but the apology has represented everything.

I never thought to be other girls who are brave enough to express their heart's content. I still adhere to the true character of a passive woman in love and let time run and organize everything. Isn’t there was a saying that whoever your match, would not run anyway? So why do I have to do something about it. Quite liked and looked at him from afar had made me absurdly happy. It was more happier as I silently watched him in the basketball game. Who knew that the class used for cooking club will be near the field which used by basketball club. At the same time as I was processing several food ingredients in the recipe, he was running around and fired the ball into the basketball ring. And it was not planned by me that the usual table I use to practice cooking is near the window, although the positioning somewhat in the back corner.

Basketball player benches are pretty close to the cooking club class room window so that when we cook something quite pungent odor causing the students of our basketball club went to the window and watched what we were cooking. Of course they will not be approached me because of my position which is at the corner back. But it is not impossible that sometimes there will be some who came up to me, especially my classmates who also entered the basketball club, Baekhyun and his friend, Jong In. Sometimes they come to look for additional drinking water to drink, or just to see what the thing I cook while stealing some food ingredients that could be eaten. Sometimes I'm too busy to stir something so I just let them steal my cooking ingredient but they knew enough not to take any more. Their presence was annoying but at the same time appealed to me. Sometimes when they're changing player as a reserve player, they will come for longer and talk to me. And trying to attend their presence, sometimes I leave a few pieces of cake, bread, or several small bowls of rice and pasta for them after I finished in my practice activities. They will accept it gladly because basketball practice will be very tiring even they have extracurricular hours longer than us. I received a positive response from them, and I loved it. Moreover, because often they will carry the cooking results to be shared with other basketball players that I know close to them. One of them was Sehun. Whether because they are quite fun or because I know they will share with Sehun that makes me want to give my cooking to them. Whichever reason, I know I stumbled and was glad to do it.

I've heard several times Baekhyun named, "Your cooking tasty. I wonder why do you have to enter the cooking club if it turns out you are already proficient to do it? Even all the kids at the basketball club praised, Jongdae, Minseok, Chanyeol, Sehun, and others as well. "He is still frowned but I smiled at the names that slip into them. I do not need to hear the others because it's only one name that I wanted to know his opinion. And although Baekhyun was true that I already  advanced in cooking and sometimes there is no point for me to enter the cooking club, I became increasingly interested in joining this club. Because by being here, I stepped one closer to Sehun though never actually meet and greet. I'm quite satisfied with my accomplishments. At least I know he enjoyed what I made and before I knew, I was giving more servings to them and sometimes I let the whole of my labor to be taken by Baekhyun and Jongin.

And that one semester passes for me to love Sehun secretly. I've read it in a magazine article, sometimes the most sincere love is the love that you mentioned not in your sentence but in your prayers. So I decided to trust that feeling that I give to Sehun is a genuine feeling that I liked secretly and did not expect one of any time he will realize and reciprocate. He did not need to know that for some time I am grateful to God to create and present him in my life. Moreover, he does not need to know that I also pray so that he will always awake in his sleep and tomorrow I can go back to see it.

At least those prayers are answered God so beautifully, because until today, the first day of school in the second semester, I still see his face. I have spent a holiday to guess what Sehun doing and how he was. But all does not matter anymore because I can clearly see that he was okay, even I saw a smile on his face. I smiled as he smiled and chuckled as he laughed with his friends. It’s just I did not know that there’s a harsh reality behind it all.

"Do you know. .I heard from the kids in the class, " Soo Jung rested his shoulder on the wall. She came up in my class while waiting for me tidying books into my bag. Min Ah on the other hand fiddling with her cell phone, "Sehun will change schools,"

Like being struck by lightning in broad daylight, I accidentally dropped some books in my hands. S-Sehun? I said pretty inwardly as well Soo Jung and Min Ah never know what I'm feeling him. "Hey, your book fall," Min Ah who sat in front of me warned. "Oh," I hurriedly looked down and took the books scattered on the floor. I put it in the bag. Soo Jung watched my movements before starting a conversation again, "I heard his father had his job moved so that the family must participate moved there. Gossip is just spread out this morning but it looks like it's really going to happen. And reportedly he will move early next month, "

"That f-fast?" I asked, but trying not to get too stressed. Soo Jung nodded, "What a pity that our schools will lose one of the idols," Min Ah and Jung Soo chuckled afterwards. They were busy imagining that their schools will be flooded with the tears of the fans of Sehun later. For Soo Jung who was a classmate to Sehun, Sehun was not someone that attract her eye. Sehun often seen staring in the class dumbfoundedly. Sehun sometimes looked like a fool when he did not hear the teacher in front of the class and his laughter was sometimes very frustrating. He also has a strange behavior, especially when the break came. Plus sometimes he was so excited that his lisp would come out.

Soo Jung did not know that deep in my heart, I wish I was in her position, and not only me who hope so.

Since the first news was delivered by Soo Jung, time has run for one week. The news seems to be true, because in the last week, it would be difficult to find Sehun walking alone or with his friends in peace. There are at least two or more other students who surrounded him, especially female students. They shamelessly asking about his disappearance while trail Sehun wherever he went. Even attack from the girls were more blatant since then. They give some sweets and chocolates in neat and beautiful packaging. Some certainly have inserted a piece of paper filled with beautiful words for Sehun. Sehun which although a little unwell, accepted them all with a small smile on his face.

"Well, you really have become a phenomenon," I heard another friend talking behind my locker row. "I did not expect it to be a phenomenon," he said. "You should go without making a fuss, there should be no announcement," said his friend. "I did not announce it, but Tao," Sehun defend himself, "If only I knew Tao and his big mouth," His friend then laughed, "That's okay, is two weeks away, and you'll be free of it all," then there was silence for a moment. I do not know how they look now. I just focus on what Sehun said afterwards, "I do not know. I do not even know whether to move or stay. I do not particularly want to move from this place but I have no reason to stay. "

The sentence was stung more than I want. Sehun did not want to move. He himself spoke, and it was not just a rumor. I wanted to scream at that time also. I want to say that just as a couple of girls chasing him, I also want him not to move. I wish I knew him closer so maybe I can say it. Ah, I think I hate on myself before. I hate why I was so passive to choose love secretly. I never allowed myself to know more about him and do not even let him know where I was. I wish I was brave enough to accept even if he remembers every detail of the first time we met, even if he later would say that I was the most disgusting woman he'd ever met. At least if he moved he will remember me even if it's just going to be as an insults. It is not possible, then we will become friends and he will send me a text when he is no longer here, such as:

Hey, I found a more slovenly girl in school but not as bad as you.

Did not know since when I wanted to be the more slovenly girl he'd ever met. At least it was pretty good compared to the fact he did not know anything about my whereabouts.

"You mostly silent lately," Min Ah winking. I just shook my head. Not without reason, I became silent the past few days. Issues of Sehun will move soon completely consuming my time and mind. But even I could not say to both of my best friend. I waved at Min Ah before I walked into the cooking club.

*****

I walked lethargic towards my locker this morning. I spent much of my time to think a lot of things but never actually do anything and does not feel the time has run and one week later has come. Next week will certainly be a day of Sehun’s departure. I repeatedly asked myself whether I would be able to pass that day and what if I can not. What if I could not do it, through my days without seeing him. Isn’t it a part of my prayers for him, to be able to see him again at a later day. I sighed and then heard another voice behind my locker.

"One more week, huh?" Said someone. I knew the voice, and if he did not with his ownself, then that means it will be shared with someone I really enjoy his voice, "Yeah, this . I have not even be here for one year and I have to move out immediately. Starting something is not easy, " Sehun told his friend. There was anger and resentment stored in the sentence. "I do not want to be selfish. But everything about this move makes me sick. I'm always on the move since childhood and I'm not even used to it after so long. You know what the most irritating of all this?" I and his friend knew it was just a question that does not need to be answered, "All my relationships, friendships or whatever it is, it never lasts long," he answered himself. I felt sorrow at this time. "How long can you really be friends with someone who lives far away with you and how long you can establish a relationship? It was all not sure if you continue to live sedentary," said Sehun again. "That's answer my question why you had no relationship with someone yet," his friend responded. Sehun paused before he answered, "Maybe. It's one of the reasons among others." "What other reason?" His friend asked again.

I really do not know what they did then but then his friend said, "Come on, do not think about it. You know, even if you move to the end of the world, I'll try to call you. I'm sure the others too, "

I have not heard then. Maybe they have to walk to class. There are many questions that come to mind. First, Sehun did not want to move but he can not do anything. Second, he hated the fact that he could not have had a long friendship. Third, he had another reason to reject the declaration of love someone besides his move. Duh, if I was someone else who knew and also know his family, I wanted to tell his parents that Sehun did not want to move, and he wanted to stay longer. I want to tell them that Sehun want to start friendships and relationships that last a long time and if it is possible for them to delay his departure. If only I could do it.

*****

Later that day I caught daydreaming in class so after exhausted hours of history lessons, I was asked by the teacher to bring the book of my friends to the staff room. I greeted the teacher before the leave to return to class. When I was in the hallway suddenly someone said to me.

"I'm sorry, can you help me?" There is a young woman who was behind me. "Oh yes. Anything, can I help you? "I asked her.

"I'm looking for the headmaster's office, can you help?" She said. I nodded, "Sure, I can take you there if you want," That woman smiled and then I walked with her.

"This is the first time I came to my school. Usually my husband came. I'm sure my son was in the class and did not check his cell phone" the woman broached and I nodded. "How many years have you go to school here?" She asked me. "I am a first year student," I answered briefly. "Oh, yeah? Is it possible that you know my son? "I looked at her and shook my head," If I may know who is your son? "

"His name is Oh Sehun. What do you know? "She smiled. I widened my eyes. "Se-Sehun?" I swallowed. She nodded, "You know?" I paused for a moment before shaking my head, "Ah, no. Just know his name, "

"Oh," Then she just nodded. We got to the front door of the principal's office. "Thank you," she thanked before opening the door. "Ah, Madame," I interrupted before she could open the door. "Are you here to take care of Sehun’s moving issue?" I asked and the woman was silent staring. "I just heard that he would move next week." I added and the woman nodded. "Yes, there are some things that should be taken care of," I nodded but then braced myself again to say, "Are you even asking Sehun?" I do not know what made me speak later. The woman looked at me with a strange look. "I mean, did you even ask Sehun’s opinion about this? School has just started and some things also just begun. School days, the game at the club, friendship, everything has just begun. If this is the time to pause will it be very sad? How does it feel when we have to stop just a few things that we enjoy as routine? Then how we can enjoy other routines to be happen somewhere in completely different place? And not a lot of time that could be spent in the new place later on, I mean the second semester started one month only, then he will go to another neighborhood. Of course it would be cumbersome to fit into new environments where everything is familiar with the neighborhood but Sehun only just begun. He was not a boy who can not adapt, I believe he will quickly have a new friend, but what's the point if then he would leave them again? Who knows. Maybe there is a bit of injustice felt by him, "

Unconsciously I had a long talk about this nonsense. Mother paused. I feel the air is getting thick in my mouth cavity. "Ah, pardon on my impudence, excuse me, see you later," I looked down and bowed to her before she turned and walked quickly left the premises.

What a shame. Isn’t my grandma say first impressions are important? But why should I ruin everything in the first meeting like this again? I really was crazy.

*****

The last three days before Sehun’s departure. I heard Soo Jung said that Sehun will depart on Saturdays. It . I felt my chest hurts when I could not know at his image again. And more pain that to know that the impudence of my mouth some time ago did not even change anything about a Sehun’s moving issue. I just wish his mom would not scold Sehun because of it. Sehun would be sad if it really happened. Even his mother would ask him, I'm sure Sehun will not realize that that person was me. I would not even let alone ever present in his mind.

I just opened my locker, when another voice appeared behind the lockers.

"Strange isn’t it? Suddenly, my parents asked about my opinion," Sehun told his friend again. "Then what do you say?" Asked his friend. "There is nothing. I said they are eligible to vote on my decision, "he said.

I felt pain. How could he squandered a chance while I'm dying to defend.

"I mean, I do not know what should I say. What if I told them the truth, they will not be sad? No matter how, if I decided to stay it means we had to live apart. My brother is in college and he was long gone. Then the choice is to stay here with my mom, or they both go and leave me here alone, or my father's work from here and commute every day or every week or every month. Is not that all the more complicated? "

Correct. I was too busy thinking about the feelings of Sehun (and perhaps my own feelings), until I forgot the other subject, his family. His parents must have had a feeling also that they still want to live together with Sehun. If not, they will not invite Sehun moved along, they might leave Sehun alone or leave him alone since the first time. But I really was too late. It is not possible to pull my statement at the time with his mother. Instead of helping Sehun, I'd put him on the heavier stuff now.

"But well never mind, I do not want to think about. My time is dwindling. I'm just glad for once my parents ask me to consider. Whatever change them, I'm very grateful for that. "

My heart moved by his words. Can I have a bit of confidence if it is true I was the one who changed the minds of his parents? Even though if they change because of other things, I would have believed that at least 1% from the previous impudence contribute to change their minds. Therefore, I will receive at least 1% of his gratitude.

Equally, Sehun. You do not even need to say it.

*****

Two days passed. My day ran like the previous days. In the morning, I noticed Sehun walking with his friends, sometimes hear some of the conversations he had with his friend. When there was club hours, I will cook some recipes. Baekhyun and Jongin'll come over and steal some food ingredients. I'm happy to give them a little later or even all of the results of my hard work that day and it was all the more because I know Sehun will come to eat it. I could notice his expression as he ate my cooking. He did not say much but his eyes would open hungry when he chewed his food. He would nod if he liked it but he will chew heavier if he did not like it. A semester passed and almost a month in this semester for me to guess what he likes and dislikes even if only through several dishes I leave on Baekhyun and Jongin. Sehun was not too picky, he would eat anything. But he would be very happy to receive something spicy and sweet foods, especially those that are filled with a thick chocolate flavor. He did not have a big appetite compared to other friends who joined basketball club but he is clearly not someone who eats a bit anyway. He just knows when to stop. And I'm sure he already has plenty of time to eat other foods given by his fans.

As well as myself, the fans of Sehun also was counting the days. The closer Saturday comes, the more intense they hunt Sehun and flood him with various gifts. I did not really know, I've only seen him a few times. And far from the worries that I secretly know, Sehun leave a little smile at all of them. He covered his grief through smiles and laughter as she thanked him.

"Sehun will move in on Saturday and the children in the class said they would go together to deliver him," Soo Jung suddenly said.

"Then? You're leaving?" Min Ah ask her. "I do not know, do you want to go with me?" she played with her eyebrows at me and Min Ah. I widened my eyes in disbelief. I'm certainly more than willing to go with him. But wait, what if his mother knew me. I frowned and scowled.

Soo Jung chuckled, "I'm just kidding. I never even talked to him personally so why should I come?"

I sighed. There was a bit of disappointment in me. I want to say to Soo Jung that I was willing to replace her, but how could I say.

"Why would we be talking about Sehun?" Min Ah interrupted. I and Soo Jung shrugged.

"He is someone who deserves to be the subject," Soo Jung said, "and you know what's beyond that?" Me and Min Ah shook our head, "Mi Rae, the nerd who became model student was even giving a gift to Sehun, "

Me and Min Ah eyes wide. "Really?" Min Ah grin, "Daebak! This is only appropriate thing to talk about," They were busy then discuss how the process of giving gifts that  Mi Rae did. But I was too busy with the debate in my own heart. Even Mi Rae the nerd was just doing something for Sehun while I did not do anything. I'm so hesitant to say that I liked Sehun now. It's true I believe that sincere love is the love expressed through any prayers before bed in the night but the hell with it all. In the next few days I will not even get to see his face again and it's time that even I do not know when it will end.

I paused. "Y-you guys go ahead, it seems like I'm forgetting something," without waiting for an answer from them, I ran back into the school building. I went into an empty classroom. I sat down and opened my bag. I tore the paper out of my notebook and then pull out the pen. I uncapped a pen and start writing.

To Sehun,

I'm not sure you even know who wrote this letter to you. All I know is the first time we met was not so pleasant for me or maybe you. I'm not even sure you still remember that time. I knew from that moment I was like looking from far and how I try to avoid places where you are, I ended to keep watching you and I enjoy it.

I do not have many words to say but if I may say, I will say that I wanted to meet and greet you like other people do it to you. I want to ask you about the things you like and what not. I want to know what makes you happy and what makes you sad. Sehun, without realizing it, you become one of the things I wanted to know. Everything about you feel so special and enjoyable.

Do you know you have the most beautiful name? Because every time I hear someone else call or when I pronounce itself in my heart, I swear that I always see your figure in my memory. I wish I had a lot more opportunities than the present to get acquainted with you, I want to do. But I know this may be too late. Did not soon you will leave this school? But trust me, you would not just leave the hearts of many people in this school. Many will remember you, Sehun.

And if only you had thought that your moving will only make your relationship with anyone at this school ends, then you're wrong, Sehun. I'm sure there is more than one person who will keep good relations with you, even though you've been in the new place later. So trust yourself to step up your feet to the new place and find a lot of friends there. Do not be afraid to leave and left for each meeting there must be separation. So go big heart.

Just like me. No matter how selfish I want to keep you here, I can not even do anything. I've tried but I realized it was wrong. I just wanted to thank you because you had to fill my days in this school. Hopefully at your new place you can find a lot of interesting things and every thing you do could be better. You are a special person, and even if I never talk to you, I know you so. And if you later, you feel no one will remember you after you left, then you should know that I will always remember you. Sorry if I weighed your step with this letter and leaving you with a big question mark in you about who I was. You just need to know that we are closer than you'd think even of things you never would have thought. I just wish I had a second chance to just meet and greets.

I stopped to write the word on a piece of paper. If only I could turn back the clock, I would choose to be more adventurous. There are many possibilities that occur to me for a meet and greet but even I could not do it. The first day I was here, my best friend is a classmate with him, cooking club and basketball club, our lockers are adjacent, even meeting with her mother. If I look at everything with more detail and attention, maybe I can take advantage of every opportunity. If only I had never thought of becoming passive and undergo secretly love him. I felt so stupid then. I felt I had a lot of missed opportunities but I can not even fix it. Regret always comes last and why I just realized? Is this the end of the story for me?

Without realizing the tears that have fallen, even wet the piece of paper that I wrote earlier.

*****

That was the last day of Sehun. I saw him from a distance. It was the time to go home and many students from the first year gathered at the school gates. They decided to take the departure of Sehun. In the front row, the children of the basketball club waved. At the rear, rows of Sehun’s fans already standing. Some of them even wept like the apocalypse had happened in front of them. I chose to stay with my friends at the school gate. Some of the students who just want to watch standing with us. Soo Jung was still shaking her head. She did not believe that something like this could happen. For him Sehun really have made the phenomenon that even scientifically inexplicable, exaggerated. Min Ah just to calm her, patting her shoulder.

One thing they did not know that I, their good friends, have become part of the phenomenon. In the deepest of my heart I had to scream and cry like hell. My chest feels very claustrophobic but I can not even do anything. The genuine love without expecting a reply from someone was painful and it's heartbreaking. Love that silence, can it be described as love? Will everyone who loves sincerely end up just like me? If I could turn back the clock or if only the second chance is true, then I will ask my time again. And pleaded not much. Just a meet and greet only. If only.

But while I was busy with my mind game, shouted from the crowd in the school field is getting harder and made me realize. I looked at them. Sehun waving and giving his last tribute. He gave a broad smile for the last time. He walked into his parents' car. I, who stood not far from the field sighed. I want waved but what can I do? There is nothing. Shortly before Sehun went into the car, for some reason he was watching the crowd in front of him. There was a slight expression of sadness to it. He will definitely miss them. Sehun get into his car. Screams and cries from some friends were faster and faster. I also bowed sluggishly but my two friends are too busy to notice. Sehun car drove toward the gate of the school where we were standing. I focus my eyes on the oncoming car and secretly wish time would stop. Whether because of my prayer or anything, Sehun car was stopped later. Exactly located a few meters from the position I and my friends stand. I looked at the car was a little hopeful, but I did not do anything other than look at it. If this is a sign of another opportunity to me that I still can not use it. I moved forward a little bit, but I doubt what I did then that I was discouraged. Which I found out later, it was back in the oncoming car and the further left the school environment.

Goodbye, Sehun. Goodbye my first love. No matter how I wish time stops or even if it could turn back or just comes back with another chance, I was not able to make it happen. Sehun, you just need to know that I have a sincere feeling where you do not have to feel the need to reciprocate. This feeling will only buried without you know that feelings are never attacked by myself and it was caused by your presence.

Hopefully, if we have another chance, we will meet again. Because I do not hold the power to it, I can only say the prayer. If indeed you are someone for me then however we are separated, then we'll find a way back, and if you're not for me, whatever I do to reach you will never succeed. And I think I was in those days, Sehun. The period in which some of us even incidentally never move us to meet.

So, goodbye. You have taught me other things about love that I thought was sincere. Hopefully someday we really could meet again.