Flood
All of MeAs I made my statement to the officer my eyes kept straying to Jiwon. He never left his seat, he stayed there the whole time.
“What next?” I sighed as we walked out the precinct doors, Jiwon’s jacket covering my body and his hand in mine.
“You should spend the night at Hanna’s.” He suggested and I noticed we were already making our way toward the bus anyway. All I could do was nod.
I knocked on Hanna’s door but didn’t get an answer. My phone had died before I could call her. Jiwon offered to call but and she didn’t pick up.
“Ah, dammit.” I cursed, resting my head on her door. “Where is she?”
“Just stay with me.” Jiwon offered.
“I’m not sure.” I answered, but it was looking like I didn’t have much of a choice.
Jiwon rested his hand at the jamb of the door, his fingers long and tan. I walked in ahead of him, slipping off my shoes. The layout was the same as Hanna’s except his apartment was distinctly masculine. Everything was blue or black or grey. The TV was large and connected to a game console. There were no throw pillows on the couch.
I stifled a tiny laugh, but Jiwon caught me.
“What?” He asked as he poured two glasses of water, a tinge of insecurity in his voice.
I sipped at the water gratefully, my throat drier than I had expected. I noticed something strange in the corner of my eye, a curious smile forming on my face.
“It’s nothing. I was just thinking how different your apartment is from Hanna’s.”
For example, Hanna’s apartment didn’t have a telescope by the window poised toward the sky.
“June tries to peek into the neighbor’s apartments with it.” Jiwon joked, noticing my line of sight.
“Can you even see anything from here?” I murmured in amazement, peeking up through the window at the night spread like velvet above us.
“I’ll show you.” His voice was close to my ear as his hand gently fell onto my shoulder. I turned my head in shock and his eyes became apologetic.
I placed my hand over his in reassurance. I could never be scared of him.
He smiled, guiding my hand onto to the telescope. The view from the window wasn’t any more spectacular than the one from my rooftop, and that had been with the eye. I realized that the telescope’s placement was more out of addiction and comfort than out of any advantage or utility.
Jiwon couldn’t be without the stars. I imagined him looking at the constellations when he couldn’t sleep, a cup of tea untouched on the table beside him. He’d have to slip on the glasses I’d caught him wearing from time to time, his eyes grown tired.
I looked intently through the eyepiece, trying to see what he saw, trying to feel what he felt.
His arms encircled my waist as I slowly pulled away from the telescope. I could feel his head rest against my nape as his body folded against mine, his chest pressed against my back.
“Thank you for being safe.” His warm breath tickled at my neck, raising the delicate hairs as he inundated my senses. “You don’t know how scared I was...”
His grip on my waist tightened.
“Jiwon…” My voice came out like a whisper. I didn’t know what to say. I let out an indulgent sigh. There was a flower blooming in the pit of my stomach.
Slowly, he backed away, his hands sliding reluctantly away from my body.
“It’s getting late. You said you wanted to shower, right?” He coughed dryly into his hand. “I’ll get you something to wear.”
Out of curiosity and nervousness, I peeked into his medicine cabinet and opened his drawers. My fingers clutched onto the clothes he’d given me to wear, a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. I stripped quietly, avoiding the reflection of my body in his mirror as if the image would be permanently engraved.
I stepped into the shower, embarrassed by the clear curtain as I ran the water. I washed quickly, scrubbing away the memories from that afternoon and replacing them with the scent of Jiwon’s soap.
I stared at the wall for a long breath after turning off the faucet. This is Jiwon’s, the thought ran persistently through my mind each time I touched something. Jiwon’s shower. Jiwon’s soap. Jiwon’s towel. My hand gripped at the terry cloth, bringing it to my nose. Jiwon’s scent.
I toweled off and dressed, my heart beating relentlessly in my chest. I missed him. He was only in the other room but I missed him. I wanted to be next to him.
“You’re done?” He asked, his eyes sweeping me carefully as I stepped out of the bathroom. I could see it in his expression, it was different than when he had worn my oversized workout clothes. Me, wearing his clothes, it was dif
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