You waited in silence on a dark and empty room. You can hear your breath going steady as you scroll through your phone as the only source of light in your apartment. 

11.27 PM, you looked at your phone as you hear your stomach grumble.

You immediately jumps off the couch, and turn on the light in your kitchen.

Hanbin usually finishes practice at midnight, and would arrived at home approximately in 15 minutes. He always wants to eat 2 bowls of soup or stew with 2 ½ bowls of rice every time he’s recording. He loves eating radish kimchi with everything, so you always stack them up in your fridge. But on days when he’s done with dance practice, he would always want to eat bulgogi and bibimbap.

You know everything about him, because he tells you everything. It’s the way he communicates and connect with you.

But you on the other hand, are a total opposite of Hanbin’s personality. You are very reserved and have always keep things to yourself. You know that it’s not the way to progress in a relationship, but you’re trying.

Due to your situation, you always write every single problems you had in your journal. You wrote almost everything in that journal, from the tiniest bit of happiness you felt that day, until the smallest heartbreak and loneliness you tend to felt with Hanbin’s busy schedule.

As the oldest sister, you tend to give in to your sibling’s needs. And you were the most mature out of all your friends. This 2 things has shaped your personality to be super tolerant as well as forgiving. That is just you. You were like that with Hanbin too. You forgave him so quickly and brushes things that he did wrong easily. Not that it didn’t hurt you though, sometimes it did. But your personality never allows you to be selfish because of your situation growing up.

You heard the door to your apartment creaked open after someone has entered your passcode. You looked at the time, exactly at 12.15. Your face immediately lights up as you prepare the table for him to eat his late dinner.

Hanbin comes in and his face mirrors yours, glad to see you after a long day.

“Jagiiii-yaaaa” he says as he half run to your arms.

You let out a giggle as you open your arms wide waiting for his embrace. Within seconds, you are back into the place you loved the most. His frame towered above you as he inhales your freesia-scented hair. He loves it so much - he uses your shampoo every time he spends the night at your place and always getting teased by Bobby who secretly loves the scent too.

“Oppa annyeong, how’s your day? Tell me all about it while we eat. Is soybean paste stew okay, oppa? Sorry… I came home late today…” you said while he pulls out the chair for you.

After you sat down, he pushes the chair towards the table and then answers your question with him putting his hands on both of your shoulder massaging it lightly and then kisses the top of your head, inhaling the scent once again. He hums into your hair and lets out a soft sigh, “I don’t know what i would do without you, Jagi. Why are you so perfect-”

You cut him off by turning your head around to look at him and holds his hand, “Oh, come on! You’re tired, tomorrow’s gonna be a busy day for you. Let’s just eat first, oppa.” you offered him a smile, reassuring him that you are happy to take care of him.

His lips turned into a grin as he places another kiss on your cheek then walking quickly to his place.

“Uwaaaa, neomu sarang-seuropta” (Wow, you’re so loveable) He began inhaling the food you make complimenting you in every bite he took. Looking at him like this makes you love him even more, and you felt so lucky to have this cutie as your boyfriend.

After eating, you forces him to go take a bath while you clear up the table and wash the dishes. With much protest from him, you finally convince him that you’re okay with doing the dishes and that he should get ready for bed. After doing the dishes, since you’re already in your PJs, you quickly hop into your bed with Hanbin still in the shower.

You have a big day tomorrow, as well as Hanbin. You work as a professional pianist, and tomorrow you will have to play in a huge concert. It is the biggest event that you’ve been in, ever. But Hanbin doesn’t know that, you didn’t tell him because tomorrow is also his deadline to propose new songs for iKON’s upcoming album to Yang Sajangnim.

Being you, you didn’t tell him to come to your concert because you know it is already stressful enough for him. Being lost in your thoughts, you slowly starts to feel your eyelids flutter into a deep slumber. But was quickly woken up again when you felt Hanbin sliding into your bed next to you. The smell of his natural musk and soap creeps into your nose.

You were facing the wall and decided to pretend to sleep so that Hanbin would not lose anymore sleep by wanting to cuddle and talk with you all night. Knowing that he needs rest. Sacrificing your emotions for him again, even though you miss him terribly, you still want the best for him. He closes the gap between the two of you and you felt his right arm snakes under your body careful not to wake you and slings his left arm around your body his hands meeting in front of your stomach gripping tight - as if he’s afraid to let you slip out of his arms.

You smiled when you felt his arms around you, and when you heard his steady breathing, you started to fall asleep - for real this time. But only a few minutes later, you heard him lets out a huge sigh. He places his head in the crook of your neck as he began to speak to you softly - not knowing you are actually still awake.

“Jagi-ya, i spotted a fan today. She was a girl, wearing ripped jeans and a simple white t-shirt holding an iced Grande Strawberry Acai from Starbucks - that’s all your favourite things right? I immediately thought of you, and i gave her my autograph, even asking if she wants a picture with me. I really hope you can open up to me and tells me more about you, so that i don’t have to guess every single thing in your life. Not that i mind, i just don’t know if that’s comfortable for you. Always being so kept to yourself every time.” he stops for a couple of seconds and then continues-

“Your birthday is coming up, and i don’t know what to get you. Except for that Lady Dior Bag that you’ve been looking up on the internet, yes, i noticed-” you heard him slightly chuckle sending shivers down your spine.

Resulting a soft smile painted on your lips. “- Apart from that, i felt that i don’t know you that much. Are we even close? I feel like i don’t know you inside out but you were always there for me, knowing the exact words to say when i’m stressed, the exact amount of food i eat, what side dishes i prefer, and even what brand of soap i like to use. How can you do all of that? How can someone affect so much through my life? I’m afraid, jagi. What if i lose you? What should i do then? What if you finally realised that you are so much more than what i deserve? I’m afraid jagi-ya.”

You felt him sighing continuously throughout that long speech he gave to you even though he knows that you’re asleep.

“Please..” He began again in a soft whisper his tone begging, “Please let me in so i can know you like you know me. Because i’m sure you are such a gem that will shine even more with a lot of care and time”

He nuzzles into your neck even closer, and kisses your neck softly, careful not to wake you and proceeds to sleeping.

You were left with your thoughts after Hanbin said those things to you.

Yes you were closed and reserved - but how can Hanbin be that affected because of it?

Yes you knows all of his habits, likes and dislikes, but you do it out of love for him and you’re more than okay to take care of him.

Why does he feel like i’m gonna leave him when he is that perfect?

There has only been a few times when you were truly hurt by his actions, and you always wrote everything in your journal that you kept private, not known by Hanbin.

Because you’re afraid this will hurt him - your considerate heart was worried. After hearing Hanbin’s soft snores, you turned your body so you are now face to face with his beautiful face.

You stared at him for a good 10 minutes, wondering why you are so damn lucky - this is also why you are so forgiving and kind towards him, you’re afraid he’s gonna leave you too. You are willing to try though. You are willing to open up more.

You planted a kiss on his forehead and nose then drift off to sleep as well with a smile on your lips after hearing how much your bo