he doesn't remember how many weeks it has been. days, hours, minutes, seconds. he doesn't want to count them because he knows it will only make him sick to death. he didn't want it to happen, he swears, but it already did. it's over.

and now he's trying to fill the void in his bed where she used to lay, dating this new girl who has been after him even before he started dating her. who, he knew, will love him like how she loves him, maybe even more.

he breathes heavily. his eyes are focused on a really tiny brown smudge on the white ceiling. it has always been there. even before she came to his life.

"good morning," he looks at his side and there lies a girl who's got a really bright smile on her face. she's happy to have woken up next to him. he wonders how long has it been since he smiled like that. he really wants to remember.

"no, soojung. not like that,"

"like this?"

"like this,"

she laughs at the face he's making—with his eyes crossed and with his lips pursed. he stops and stares. the sound of her laughter is adorable and her face, the way she closes her eyes tightly as she laughs...

"you're beautiful." he murmurs and she finally stops laughing. he smiles. a genuine smile he doesn't know he has because he only smiles like that when he's with her. she pecks his lips then she wraps her arm around his waist as she lays her head on his chest before saying "i love you" softly.

"morning, sunyoung." he replies with an obvious forced smile just to be polite. sunyoung frowns, knowing how unreal his smile is, how unreal everything is. jinki feels a little guilty.

"you miss her." sunyoung grins as she sits up and searches for her clothes. she isn't stupid and jinki knows that so he doesn't even try denying it.

"call me when you need a company." sunyoung waves her right hand a little as she goes out of his apartment. jinki just stares at the closed door, secretly hoping someone is going to barge in, someone who knows the lock code, someone who he waits and waits and waits for all day long.

i never said 'i love you' back. he thinks to himself. maybe that's it. he sighs and throws his seemingly dead body on his bed again. easily he falls asleep.

he's dreaming. he sees her in his dream. she lies down beside him and stares at his face as she caresses it. she has a longing look in her eyes like she has been longing to see him, like she has missed him. slowly her eyes close and he knows she has fallen asleep.

jinki opens his eyes and they widen when he realizes it wasn't a dream. because she's there. He can feel her skin right beside him.

she wrinkles her nose and opens her eyes only to meet his. she doesn't speak and neither does he. it's just a beautiful moment of silence.

she places an arm over his chest, clutching his shirt as she  buries her face on the side of his neck.

"i love you." he says, kissing her forehead and interlocking his hands with her hand over his chest, where his heart is.

somehow he knows she's smiling. and he is too. the genuine smile he has only when he's with her.

So this is farewell.

This is the last OnStal fic I'll post here. I was just going through my notes and saw this. When I wrote this(don't even remember when), I didn't like it that much and thought it was too lame. But after re-reading it, I actually liked it ahahaha

I hope Soojung's happy. Let's be happy for her ^^

xdorkyx

x

PS. the title is actually the line of a song that inspired me to write this one shot/drabble. the song is Past Life by Lydia. :)