Final
Enough
The first time Wonho met Hyungwon, he thought he had seen an angel.
Hyungwon was- is- beautiful. Wonho had seen his fair share of beauty in his days. Not a day passed before he was introduced to a new model, trying to make it in the industry.
Wonho only smiled pitifully because he knows most of these people won’t last the year. It’s a hard business and all of Wonho’s friends always wondered how someone as gentle as him could have survived so long.
But Wonho merely shakes his head, eyes soft, and they drop the subject.
Mistake carved into his shoulder is enough.
Right as he ends a phone call, Minhyuk comes blaring into his office. All too bubbly, all too loud, but that was Minhyuk and Wonho never minded. Minhyuk’s never had anything bad written on him. Annoying maybe, but it fades within a week.
“We have a new prospect,” he announces cheerfully, sitting on the edge of Wonho’s desk.
Wonho raises an eyebrow. Most new prospects go through him. “Said who?”
“Kihyun hyung, who else? He said we’re lucky; this guy’s gorgeous. He’s been in the industry for a while now too, like a child model.”
“Oh.” Wonho’s impressed this guy has seemed to last this long but it isn’t that unusual. They occasionally come across someone who is an expert at molding their face however they’re wanted, someone who is tougher than a diamond and just as beautiful.
Minhyuk slides a file across Wonho’s desk. “Take a look for yourself. Apparently he starts tomorrow.” And then Minhyuk is gone, quick as he came.
Wonho chuckles and opens the file, prepared to sift through the photos. It’s usually a draining job after awhile- he can only look at pretty people for so long.
But then he comes to the first photo. It’s black and white. Again, not unusual. A lot of models start with black and white, trying to impress him with how good they can look even without colors.
But this man looks like he isn’t even trying.
Bright eyes, plump lips, delicate features and a lean body- this man is everything Wonho looks for in a model. He hasn’t seen one that’s checked all the boxes in a long time.
“Angelic,” he hums to himself, flipping over to the next photo. This one is brighter, simpler. White clothes and thick eyeliner and it’s nothing Wonho hasn’t
seen before but somehow this man makes him feel like he’s seeing it for the first time.
He goes through the next few pictures. There aren’t that many, only seven. Each one is more beautiful than the last.
Wonho would never admit he finds himself intrigued by this man but he does call Kihyun up to tell him what a good job he did.
“I thought you’d like him,” Kihyun smiles into the phone and Wonho only hums.
“He’s checked off everything for me.”
“The last time you said that was for Sungjong. And that was-”
“Four years ago, I know.” Wonho looks back down at the photos strewn about his desk. They already have their own place and Wonho thinks he wouldn’t mind having more pictures hung up around his office.
“This one’s different,” he continues.
“I would hope so; you already think so highly of him.”
“It’s hard not to.”
Kihyun bids goodbye after that and Wonho glances back down at the pictures. Among one of the headshots, the man’s file is written neatly. It’s not very long or pretentious. All it contains is name, age, blood type, weight. Experience and limitations and a phone number. Wonho tucks it away for further use.
“Chae Hyungwon, huh?”
Hyungwon comes in the next day and he’s even more breathtaking in real life than in his photos. Wonho has enough of a filter not to say so but he can’t help but stare anyhow.
Luckily Kihyun is there with him so he doesn’t make too much of a fool of himself.
They shake hands, settle down in a corner of Kihyun’s room, talk idly for a few moments. Kihyun never likes to rush things.
Hyungwon is soft-spoken, looking down at his hands a lot and twisting his fingers together. Wonho comments on how nice a day it is outside and Hyungwon looks at him, completely unimpressed.
“It’s raining,” he points out, tone unamused and his face still straight, and that’s when Wonho realizes Hyungwon isn’t as soft as he first thought.
Kihyun brings up their business first.
“So Hyungwon,” he starts out casually and Hyungwon looks at him. “You have quite the experience I see.”
“I’ve had a lot of time.”
“And you’re just thinking about getting a manager now?”
A shadow passes over Hyungwon’s face but then Wonho blinks and it’s gone. “My old manager and I had a few disagreements,” Hyungwon says, his shoulders just the smallest bit stiffer.
Kihyun waits for him to continue but it seems like Hyungwon’s done. “Well then I’m glad you’ve decided to come to Starship. You already have all the information and have looked over it, I assume?”
Hyungwon nods. His bangs fall in his eyes and Wonho kind of wants to move them away. He busies himself with straightening the contract and placing the pen just right.
“If you agree, Wonho will be your permanent manager until otherwise instructed.”
Hyungwon fixes his gaze on Wonho this time. Wonho looks back with a small smile. “I hope that’s fine with you,” he says and a flash of something happens in Hyungwon’s eyes.
“It is.” His answer gives nothing away.
He signs the paper quickly, no flourished signature like most of the hopefuls that come in here, but loopy handwriting that only takes up half of the line.
“Is the number we should contact yours? Or someone else’s?” asks Kihyun after Hyungwon slides the contract back over the table.
“Hyunwoo hyung’s. My temporary manager.” A side of Hyungwon’s mouth quirks. Wonho thinks he can get used to that.
Once everything is said and done, Hyungwon is ready to leave. “We’ll treat you very well,” Kihyun says sincerely and Hyungwon pauses.
“I’m sure.” It sounds almost sarcastic coming from Hyungwon’s mouth but Wonho doesn’t think he means it that way.
It’s not until later that he realizes- Hyungwon did mean it that way.
Wonho meets Hyunwoo the first time he goes over to Hyungwon’s apartment.
A stranger opens the door and Wonho has just enough time to paste on a winning smile. He’d never met this man but Kihyun has.
“Hello, I’m Shin Wonho, Hyungwon’s new manager.”
Hyunwoo glances him up and down and Wonho doesn’t know if he’s intimidated or not. Hyunwoo is big, with broad shoulders and thick muscles but his face is kind.
“I’m Hyunwoo,” he finally says. “Hyungwonnie’s still getting ready but you’re welcome to wait.”
“Thank you.”
Hyunwoo stands aside to let him pass and the first thing Wonho sees is a large picture of Hyungwon hanging on the inside wall of a tiny living room. This must’ve been from when he was younger, because his face is a little rounder and he’s not as tall. He’s still beautiful all the same.
“Good, isn’t it?” comments Hyunwoo offhandedly and Wonho nods. Words couldn’t do it justice.
“He doesn’t like it, but I insisted on putting it up.” Hyunwoo’s voice is fond and soft and Wonho wonders just how close they are. Hyunwoo seems like the type of person to not have anything written on his skin either. Too caring.
“Why not?” he asks instead. The rest of the living room is in neutral colors, a small TV in one corner and a shelf full of DVDs and CDs next to it. There are a few other pictures hanging on the wall, Hyungwon with some people he doesn’t know. He recognizes Hyunwoo in a few.
Hyunwoo smiles sadly. “He just doesn’t like looking at himself much.”
Wonho’s a bit surprised; every model he’s ever met has absolutely loved putting their pictures up everywhere. It’s such a cruel industry that one has to be narcissistic. It’s odd Hyungwon doesn’t seem to be, even though he has all the reason to.
“Hyung?” Hyungwon comes into the room, rubbing one eye sleepily and a T-shirt hanging off of his shoulder. There’s a peek of something there but
Wonho can’t get a closer look because Hyunwoo steps in front of him.
“I thought you were ready, Hyungwonnie. Your manager’s here,” Hyunwoo scolds lightly and Hyungwon freezes, just now noticing Wonho standing beside his hyung.
“Hey Wonho-ssi,” he says, pulling his shirt up over his shoulder. “Give me five more minutes and I’ll be ready to go.”
“That’s fine.”
“But breakfast-” Hyunwoo starts out.
“Not hungry.”
“We’ll get something at the shoot,” Wonho reassures Hyunwoo and the elder looks placated. Hyungwon leaves the room and they shortly hear the sound of running water. Hyunwoo gestures for Wonho to sit down.
“I’m trusting you to take care of him,” he starts out seriously and Wonho nods.
“Of course.”
“I mean it. If anything happens, call me. I’m on speed dial on his phone, and he told me he gave you my number.”
“He’d rather us contact you. He didn’t give us his number.”
Hyunwoo almost looks strangely proud. “He will. He needs time.” The conversation turns lighter, idle chatter filling the space until Hyungwon comes back in the room.
Wonho jumps up at the sight of him. “Ready to go?” Hyungwon just nods. He’s dressed simply today, gray coat over a white shirt and black skinny jeans. He’ll change into something else for the shoot but Wonho thinks he’s stunning either way.
“Call me when you’re done,” Hyunwoo reminds.
“Yes umma.” Hyungwon almost breaks into a grin and it’s a beautiful sight. He stops at the last second. Hyunwoo playfully ruffles his hair.
“I’ll be home late. Make sure to eat.”
“I’ll make sure he does,” offers Wonho. Hyungwon doesn’t comment but Hyunwoo is grateful.
They bid goodbye and soon they’re riding in a sleek black limo on the way to the shoot. Hyungwon had at least seemed impressed with the car even
though Wonho’s sure he’s been in one before.
“The photographer’s an old friend of mine. Kim Myungsoo? I’m sure you’ve heard of him before.”
“Kim Myungsoo?” Hyungwon’s eyes widen a fraction. “It’s with Kim Myungsoo?”
“I know right? I still get starstruck around him and we’ve been friends for years.” Wonho laughs, a chiming sound. “But it’ll be fun. Very simple, very clean. It’s for a new brand of jeans; I forget the name. Very flattering, it’ll be over before you know it.”
“I see.” Hyungwon gazes out the window, humming now and again as Wonho chatters on. He usually doesn’t talk this much but the tension seems to leave Hyungwon’s shoulders and that’s all that matters.
“You’re pretty experienced, so this will be easy,” says Wonho when they walk into the elevator to take them to the fifth floor. Hyungwon merely nods.
“I guess so.”
Wonho has to hand it to Hyungwon- he has almost as good of a resting face as Myungsoo does. Not once does he freak out when the famous photographer moves him or positions him, giving directions this way and that way.
Hyungwon follows them all silently, only speaking when he’s unsure about what exactly Myungsoo wants. Myungsoo’s gentle; he knows Hyungwon is still relatively new and doesn’t want to scare off Wonho’s new prospect.
“He’s good.”
“What?” Wonho looks up from his phone where he was checking his schedule. Yoonhye has a fitting tomorrow at noon and Taehyung has a runway show from six to nine.
Myungsoo juts his chin at where Hyungwon’s getting his makeup retouched. “He’s good. A natural. Little more polishing and he could make it big.”
“You think?” Wonho’s voice sounds proud to his own ears. If Myungsoo is complimenting someone, Wonho knows he really means it.
“His first shoot, right?”
“With us. He changed companies recently but he’s had a fair bit of experience. It shows, doesn’t it?”
Myungsoo nods thoughtfully. “Hang onto this one, Wonho. He’s a diamond in the making.”
Wonho doesn’t mention that Hyungwon’s already been made into the most beautiful diamond of them all.
“Chose anything. Really, it’s my treat.”
Hyungwon stares at the menu in front of him. He hasn’t eaten anything at all today and it’s almost one in the afternoon. He’s starved.
“I told Hyunwoo-ssi I’d make you eat. Now pick anything you want.” Wonho breaks into the widest grin and usually Hyungwon would find that annoying. But now it’s almost...cute.
“Is this your way of getting on his good side?” he says dryly, scanning the options. He’s not really in the mood for something cold...but ramen’s good any time of the year, he supposes.
“Why? Is it working?” Wonho smiles again, that damn smile, and Hyungwon feels his stomach flutter. And it’s not because he’s hungry.
“Maybe. Anyone who gets me to eat is like a saint in hyung’s eyes.”
“So now I’ve leveled up from manager to saint?”
“Maybe so.”
They fall silent and it’s not uncomfortable. Hyungwon sneaks a few glances at Wonho when he can. He wonders why someone as gorgeous as him is a manager of models, not a model himself. He decides it’s not his place to ask. Maybe later.
“Figured out what you want?”
“Seafood noodles,” says Hyungwon decisively. He adds please as an afterthought but Wonho is already gone away to the counter and he’s left alone.
Sighing to himself, Hyungwon checks his phone. He doesn’t care for the time, not really, and instead just stares at Hyunwoo’s last message. After Hyungwon had texted to say he was done and is getting a meal with Wonho, Hyunwoo responds with one sentence. I hope you’re eating well.
Hyungwon snorts. Hyunwoo really is like a mom, or a dad. Just very parent-like. It’s a nice change.
Wonho comes back in a couple minutes, holding a tray with two steaming bowls. He sets one down in front of Hyungwon and then slides into the seat across from him.
“I really just like ramen,” Wonho says when Hyungwon eyes his large bowl.
“I can tell.”
Wonho takes a bite of food. It’s hot and almost burns his tongue. “So, tell me about yourself.”
Hyungwon doesn’t miss a beat. “What do you want to know?”
“I don’t know, anything you want me to know.” Wonho shrugs, shoving more ramen into his mouth. It’s been awhile since he’s had ramen as good as this. “I know about your, like, experiences and everything but if there’s anything else you want me to know, now would be the time.” He pauses to swallow. “We’re going to be spending a lot of time together.”
“Hm.” Hyungwon doesn’t respond at first. He chews slowly, sifting through what words he should use. There’s a lot to tell but not to Wonho.
“Or you don’t have to say anything, that’s good too.” Wonho watches as Hyungwon nods slowly, picking at his food.
“Can I ask you questions?”
“Sure. Conversation is a two-way street.”
“Alright.” Hyungwon looks at him, setting his chopsticks aside. His face is blank but Wonho knows he’s almost scanning him, deciding what to say.
“Tell me about your work,” Hyungwon says finally and Wonho’s a little surprised.
“What is there to tell? You already know I’m a manager-”
"The people. Tell me about the people.”
“Alright. You’ve already met Kihyun. Minhyuk is my secretary of sorts. He’s kinda disorganized but really loyal and tries hard and super optimistic. Kind of loud though.” Wonho wrinkles his nose. “He can’t sit still if his life depends on it. But that’s one of his best qualities, I suppose.”
“I’d like to meet him.” Hyungwon wonders what it’s like to meet someone who acts as if the sun shines out of their .
“I think you’d like him. Next time you come by the office, I’ll introduce you.”
“I’d like that.”
“I have a few other clients besides you. Taehyung’s the newest. He’s kind of crazy and loud too.”
Hyungwon picks up his chopsticks again. “I guess you attract the crazy ones huh?”
“Seems so,” laughs Wonho. “But you don’t seem that crazy.”
If only you knew.
But Hyungwon just smiles and takes a bite of food so he won’t have to respond.
“Yoonhye’s another, very pretty, very sweet. She’s been around awhile, knows the ins and outs. You can learn a lot from her.”
Hyungwon just nods. He’s not very hungry anymore. He keeps eating though, because Hyunwoo would get on him if he found out he didn’t eat.
“Sungjong’s been with me the longest. He’s one of the best I’ve ever had.” Wonho’s eyes go soft. Hyungwon really can’t eat anymore.
Wonho sees Hyungwon push his bowl away. The tension is back. Mistake throbs on his shoulder.
“Can I take you home?”
“Hyungwonnie!” Minhyuk almost jumps on him. Hyungwon takes a step back and Wonho puts an arm up to catch Minhyuk.
“Hold up Minhyuk, you’ll scare him. And since when are you close enough to call him that?”
“I don’t mind,” Hyungwon says but he still looks wary. Minhyuk grins at him and shakes his hand enthusiastically.
“I’m Minhyuk! Wow you’re really tall. And good looking. I bet no one’s ever said something bad about you.”
Hyungwon’s smile is stiff. “Thanks.”
Catching sight of a file on his desk, Wonho frowns and picks it up, reading it.“I have to go give this to Kihyun, do you mind staying here a few minutes?” he says apologetically and Hyungwon nods.
“Don’t worry, I’ll keep you company,” says Minhyuk cheerfully.
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” says Wonho dryly.
“Wow hyung, rude.”
Wonho just waves and although now there’s only two people in the room, it seems almost louder. Hyungwon now understands what Wonho meant.
Minhyuk doesn’t stop talking the whole time, Hyungwon chiming in now and then because he’s asked a question and it’s rude not to answer.
“I think you’re one of the best we’ve ever had,” comments Minhyuk suddenly.
Hyungwon quirks an eyebrow. He’s only had one shoot so far. “Really?”
“Yeah, Wonho hyung seems to really like you. He said you checked all the boxes. The last time that happened was a while back, when I was first starting out. Four years maybe? Five?” Minhyuk shrugs. “I don’t really remember. Just know that he really likes you.”
“Thanks.” Hyungwon’s not good at responding to compliments like that.
Minhyuk turns to the side, maybe to look out the window, or check the clock. Hyungwon’s not sure. He sees a glimpse of letters going down the side of Minhyuk’s throat.
Annoying.
It’s faded a little but Hyungwon can still read it clearly. He frowns.
Minhyuk catches him staring. “Oh this?” He touches his neck, almost sheepish, but not shameful. It’s a nice change. “It comes and goes. I’m pretty used to it right now.”
“Really?” Hyungwon can’t imagine being used to the words. Used to them enough so when they flare up again, it doesn’t bother him too much.
How strange.
“I’m sure you haven’t had to deal with that before though,” says Minhyuk and Hyungwon’s smile tightens.
“You’d think.”
Wonho comes back in before Minhyuk can say anything. He just stares at Hyungwon.
Hyungwon’s hands are shaking. He can’t steady them enough to tie his shoes and it’s aggravating.
One of the photographers is here. Hyungwon had worked with him before. He remembers where each of the words come from and this man’s is on his side, running down to his hipbone.
F-cking worthless.
Gritting his teeth, Hyungwon struggles to do the knots. They’re tangled too much.
Hands cover his own and he looks up in surprise to see Wonho kneeling down in front of him.
“You don’t have to-”
But Wonho only smiles and Hyungwon doesn’t protest. He merely watches as Wonho’s hands smoothly untangle the knots Hyungwon had fumbled with. Wonho neatly ties the laces into a bow and even pats Hyungwon’s knee before standing up.
“Thanks.”
Wonho’s face has gone soft. “You’re ready now.” He had noticed Hyungwon is tense now, again. He doesn’t look at one of the photographers- did something go down between them previously? Were they one of the disagreements Hyungwon had had with his management?
He doesn’t ask though and merely follows Hyungwon down the hall, back to where everyone else is gathered.
He’s once again reminded why it’s hard to be in this industry.
The photographer Hyungwon avoids, a man named Jiwon, is very abrupt. He barks commands at the staff and the models, leaving no room for discussion. Wonho would admire his will to get things done if it wasn’t in such a cruel way.
Jiwon had been lecturing Hyungwon for the last five minutes. Even though Hyungwon is doing perfectly well, Jiwon finds fault with nearly everything.
“God, can’t you do anything right?”
Wonho frowns but Hyungwon only bows his head in apology.
“If you just listen to me for two seconds, then we wouldn’t have this mess!”
“Sorry.”
That’s not enough for Jiwon and his face gets darker. “Sorry isn’t good enough. You’re not good enough.”
Something in Hyungwon’s eyes cracks but his expression remains the same.
It’s too much for Wonho and he strides over to the two, standing next to Hyungwon with arms crossed. “Jiwon-ssi, I don’t like the way you’re talking to Hyungwon.”
“This is how I run the show; if it’s too much, he’ll get cut,” answers Jiwon loftily. Wonho narrows his eyes.
“It’s fine, it’s not worth it,” murmurs Hyungwon behind him but Wonho doesn’t back down.
“You won’t talk to him that way again or we won’t be doing business with you any longer.”
Jiwon scowls, taking a step closer. “You’re getting out of line here, Wonho.”
“No, I think you’re the one out of line.” Wonho doesn’t break eye contact until Jiwon looks away first.
“You’re lucky this time, Chae.”
Wonho glances at Hyungwon, only to see the model frowning. It’s a different kind of frown, the frown someone has when they know they have to hold back what they want to say.
“You didn’t have to do that,” mumbles Hyungwon into a yawn. Wonho pats his thigh. Hyungwon doesn’t have to be specific.
“Of course I did. I couldn’t let him talk to you like that.”
It’s not like it hasn’t happened before. “It’s not worth it.”
“You’re worth it.”
Hyungwon’s neck flushes and he slumps further into the seat. “You’re too nice, hyung.” Wonho had insisted on the third day that he be called ‘hyung’. Anything else makes me feel old, he had said. It feels weird to call him that but Hyunwoo encourages it. You need more than me.
“Nah, only to you.” Wonho laughs a little. “I want us to be friends, Hyungwon. Not just a manager-client relationship, you know?”
“So more than just a job?” Hyungwon’s happy to hear it. Wonho thinks of him more than just a job.
“Definitely.”
“If I had known-”
“It’s fine, hyung.” Hyungwon yawns again, snuggling deeper into his covers. Hyunwoo’s sitting on the bed next to him, his hair and trying to keep his anger reined it.
“I’ll talk to them tomorrow. I’ll talk to them tonight, you’ll never have to deal with him again.”
“Wonho hyung already did.”
“He what?”
“He told Jiwon off,” Hyungwon says around another yawn. “Defended me.”
Hyunwoo’s silent. Then “I like him.”
“I know you do.”
“He’s good for you, Hyungwonnie. He really cares for you.”
“You just like that there’s someone else other than you to look after me,” mumbles Hyungwon into his pillow. Hyunwoo’s hand falters for a second.
“I just want you to be protected.”
“I’m an adult, hyung. I can take care of myself.” Hyungwon can almost feel Hyunwoo’s eyes going to the little bit of skin peeking out from under his shirt, where there are marks that will never fade.
“I know.”
Hyungwon wakes to a voicemail.
“Hey, this is Wonho hyung. Something came up with Yoonhye so I won’t be able to make it to your fitting today. But don’t worry! I’m sending Minhyuk and he’ll take good care of you, promise! Have a good time, Hyungwon, and don’t forget to eat!”
It makes Hyungwon almost smile but the coil of disappointment in his gut is worse. At least Minhyuk will be there.
And he’s just as loud as before.
“Wow Hyungwonnie, you really look good in anything!” he comments as Seungah, the designer, starts to hem the pants.
“Thanks.”
“They fit almost perfectly,” says Seungah, reaching for the scissors. “They’re just a little long but other than that, it’s like they were made for you.”
“He can work anything, trust me,” Minhyuk brags. “I taught him everything he knows.”
“You’re not even a model,” points out Hyungwon dryly and Seungah laughs.
“But I could be! With this face? Definite model material! Wonho hyung just won’t let me because he knows I’d be much more successful than him.” Minhyuk looks very proud of himself.
Hyungwon decides he really likes Minhyuk.
Soon the fitting is over and Hyungwon steps into the back dressing room to change into normal clothes. He had let Seungah fit the shirt on him when Minhyuk was on a phone call. He didn’t want to at first but then she hiked up her skirt to her thigh where was scrawled across her skin.
“I’m sorry,” Hyungwon had told her. She only shrugged.
“Nothing new.” She hadn’t bat an eye when seeing the marks sloppily carved all over Hyungwon, only asked if anyone else knew.
“Only a couple.” He knew he could trust her not to tell anyone. It’s not something people were proud of.
“Wonho hyung called,” Minhyuk tells Hyungwon when he comes back into the main room. “He said he’s sorry for missing today but will definitely make it up to you.”
“I expect food,” Hyungwon deadpans and Minhyuk laughs.
“That’s exactly what he had in mind.”
“I’m glad to see you’re eating.”
Hyungwon pauses, chopsticks halfway to his mouth. “I like food. Why?”
“The first time we went out together, you barely ate anything.”
“Oh.” That had been almost an off day for Hyungwon. Wonho was still a stranger then- he didn’t know how to be comfortable with him yet. Now, well, Wonho’s still a stranger. But Hyungwon thinks he won’t be for long.
“You don’t have to say anything, it was just an observation.” Wonho changes the subject. “So how was Seungah? Good right?”
“Talented.”
“One of the best in the business. Her and Yoonhye are actually, like, best friends or something. They’re really close. Helps us get a discount once in awhile.”
“I didn’t think you’d need a discount.” Hyungwon twirls some noodles on his chopsticks. It’s not like he’s wrong. Wonho is always impeccably dressed, in some Armani suit or something.
“Every little bit counts,” smiles Wonho. He picks up a piece of beef and puts in on the edge of Hyungwon’s plate. Before the model can even thank him, Wonho is spinning out a story of what happened yesterday when traffic was bad and there was music blaring with the windows down.
It sounds nice. Hyungwon wants Wonho to drive him sometime.
Hyungwon doesn’t know how he ended up wearing Wonho’s clothes but it doesn’t matter. They’re big and comfortable and fit him just right.
“They look good on you,” says Wonho when Hyungwon comes out of the bathroom. Out of Wonho’s bathroom.
“Do they really?” He says back, looking in the full length mirror on the back of Wonho’s closet door. “They’re really big.”
“Well yeah but you look cozy.”
“I am cozy.” Hyungwon had gotten stuck in the rain and since they were closest to Wonho’s house, the elder offered it up for Hyungwon to dry off. He had suggested a warm shower or bath but Hyungwon wasn’t comfortable enough for that, even if Wonho’s left him alone.
“I’m glad. I made hot chocolate while you were changing.” Wonho hands him a mug. It has colorful flowers on it. It’s pretty.
“Thank you.” Hyungwon takes a sip and almost burns his tongue. Wonho chuckles a little and it doesn’t hurt as much.
“I still don’t understand why you were waiting for me out in the rain,” says Wonho. “You could’ve come in.”
But Jiwon was there. Hyungwon just smiles tightly. “I didn’t want to bother you.”
“You never bother me, Hyungwon.” Wonho seats himself on one of the bar stools and pats the other one. Hyungwon settles down next to him.
The kitchen is nice. Hyungwon wonders what it’d be like to cook in here.
“Was it because of Jiwon?”
Hyungwon doesn’t know how Wonho can read him so easily but he’s almost grateful. He won’t have to explain. He nods.
“I know he’s not the friendliest person but he’s not a bad guy, really.”
F-cking worthless burns on Hyungwon’s side. “Why are you so nice to me?” He blurts out instead because otherwise he’ll say something he shouldn’t.
Wonho’s surprised for a moment. Somehow Hyungwon always brings it back around to Wonho being nice, when there’s really a little more going on.
“I’m nice to you because you deserve it.”
Hyungwon snorts before he can stop himself. “Yeah, right.”
“I’m serious.” Wonho puts his hand on top of the model’s and Hyungwon doesn’t pull away. “You just...you deserve so much more than what I can give you, Hyungwon. I really just want to make you happy.”
Hyungwon doesn’t know if they’re talking about the same thing anymore. “You make me happy, hyung.”
“I’m really glad to hear that.” Wonho drinks some of his hot chocolate, waiting for Hyungwon to continue. He sees it in his face. Hyungwon wants to tell him.
“Jiwon-ssi and I...we don’t see eye to eye,” Hyungwon finally says. He looks down into the swirling mess of hot chocolate. “He was the photographer for one of my first shoots. I knew he wouldn’t be nice but...but I think he took it too far.”
“And your management didn’t say anything?”
“They didn’t care.”
“And you left.” It’s not a question.
Hyungwon nods, wrapping both hands around his mug. “But you stood up for me when they never did. And they knew me a lot longer.”
“Clearly not long enough. Hyungwon, I-” Wonho’s words catch in his throat. Maybe this is all a Mistake. “I won’t let anybody hurt you again.”
Hyungwon finds himself actually believing Wonho.
It’s hard not to. Wonho makes it very easy to believe him.
“Here, put this on.” One of the stylists hands Hyungwon a different shirt and the model turns to go change.
“Just do it here, we don’t have all day. It’s nothing we haven’t seen before.”
Hyungwon freezes. “I’d rather-”
“We’re on a time limit and-”
“One moment please,” Wonho interrupts smoothly, coming to stand between them. “We have already discussed this before; Hyungwon will never be in front of anyone if it makes him uncomfortable.”
The stylist merely nods. “Alright. But be quick.”
Wonho follows Hyungwon behind the curtain. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Thank you.” Hyungwon pauses. “Did Hyunwoo hyung tell you?”
“Not exactly.” Wonho gives a small laugh. Hyungwon really likes it when Wonho laughs. “But I could tell you were uncomfortable anyhow. It’s in your contract now- no one can make you strip in front of them if you don’t want to.”
“Hyung, you’re something else.”
“I hope so. That means you’ve never seen anyone like me before.” Wonho squeezes Hyungwon’s shoulder before leaving, pulling the curtain closed behind him.
Hyungwon stares at the spot where his hyung just left. “You’re right, I really haven’t.”
There’s an unfamiliar shirt in the laundry. Hyunwoo frowns as he picks it up. It’s not his but it’s big enough to be.
“Hyungwonnie?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you come here please?”
“Hyung, I’m comfy!”
“Please?” Hyunwoo hears the younger grumble but get up and head towards him. They have the washer and dryer stacked on top of each other at the end of the hallway. Hyungwon always complains about having to bend down to put in the newly washed clothes. Hyunwoo berates him for being too tall.
“Is this yours?” Hyunwoo holds up the shirt.
The model doesn’t even bat an eye. “No. It’s Wonho hyung’s.”
“Why do you have Wonho’s shirt?”
“He gave it to me.”
“Why?”
“It’s when I was caught in the rain,” shrugs Hyungwon. “He gave it to me to wear since I was all wet. I was going to give it back to him after I washed it.”
“You mean after I washed it.”
Hyungwon waves that away. “Whatever. You called me from my bed for this?”
“I was just curious. I didn’t know if you were, like, seeing someone or stole it or something.”
“You have all the faith in me, don’t you?”
“I was just wondering.” Hyunwoo’s voice turns soft. “You know you can tell me anything, right Hyungwon?”
“I know.” Hyungwon doesn’t like when Hyunwoo talks to him like this, like he’s something delicate and breakable if he speaks too loud. But he knows
Hyunwoo means well, that he loves him too much to believe he’s weak.
“You really like him, don’t you?”
Hyungwon looks away but there’s the faintest sparkle in his smile and Hyunwoo knows he’s hit upon something.
“Yeah, I do.”
“I’m glad. He’s good for you.”
“He is,” agrees Hyungwon.
Hyunwoo changes the subject smoothly. “Changkyun called but you were sleeping so I told him you’d call him back later.”
“That brat, always calling me when I’m in the middle of important things.”
Maybe I should’ve cleaned up.
That’s the first thought Hyungwon has when Wonho enters his bedroom. It’s not that messy really, just a pile of clothes in the corner and books scattered over his desk. His bed’s unmade too and he flops down onto it.
“You need to get ready for bed,” says Wonho and Hyungwon just groans.
“Too tired. I already brushed my teeth at the shoot.”
“But your makeup.”
Hyungwon only whines.
“Hyungwon,” scolds Wonho, slapping him lightly on the and the model yelps.
“Hyung!”
“You need to take it off or your skin will breakout.”
“Can’t I just sleep?” Hyungwon puts the smallest pout into his voice.
Wonho sighs. “Fine, I’ll take it off for you. At least put your pyjamas on.” He leaves the room, closing the door, and Hyungwon drags himself off his bed. He kicks his jeans off and pulls on a large T-shirt that has to be Hyunwoo’s.
Wonho is soon back, a warm washcloth in his hands. He sits down in front of Hyungwon, legs crossed. “Close your eyes.”
Hyungwon does so and Wonho starts to pat his face gently, wiping off the layers of foundation and eyeshadow and concealer. He honestly thinks
Hyungwon doesn’t need any of it but it’s not his place to say so.
He really does look angelic here, Wonho thinks. Hyungwon is always beautiful but seeing him like this, completely relaxed and open and so close brings
up a whole new feeling entirely.
Wonho dabs at his lips now, getting off the lip gloss. Hyungwon’s mouth parts slightly and Wonho feels his breath over his fingers. He has the sudden urge
to lean forward and kiss him.
He traces the outline of Hyungwon’s lips with the washcloth, making sure he got all of the lip gloss off. He leans close to Hyungwon, close enough so he could kiss him right now if he wanted to.
Hyungwon is just so beautiful that Wonho can’t help himself. Their lips touch for a split second and then Wonho pulls away, Hyungwon’s eyes flying open.
Wonho dabs the tip of Hyungwon’s nose playfully. “All done.”
“Thanks hyung.” When Wonho goes to put the washcloth away, Hyungwon touches his lips hesitantly. Did Wonho…? He thought he felt something different, something a lot warmer and softer. But would Wonho really kiss him?
He doesn’t know if he likes or hates the fact that if Wonho really did kiss him, he wouldn’t mind it at all.
“You like him.” Changkyun was always blunt.
“Maybe I do.”
“No, you really like him.”
“I don’t know, Changkyun.”
“Why not?” Changkyun pushes a side dish towards the model. He notices Hyungwon is just playing with the food on his plate instead of eating. He frowns. Today’s one of those days.
“He’s my manager. And out of my league. And nice.”
“No one is out of your league, you’re you.”
“That’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” comments Hyungwon dryly but he picks up a piece from the side dish and eats it anyhow.
“I’m serious. He sounds like he’s into you. I don’t know how he deals with your mood swings though.”
“Wow, thanks.”
“You have to admit, you’re a little moody.”
“I am not.”
“Are too.”
“You’re unbelievable.” Hyungwon takes a sip of his drink but only to hide his smile.
Changkyun grins across the table but then thinks of something. His face turns serious. “Have you…” Changkyun trails off. He doesn’t add anything else but he doesn’t need to.
Hyungwon shakes his head. “It would disgust him, Changkyun. They’re disgusting, I’m disgusting. He only likes me because I’m a model. I’m his job, just a pretty face.”
“Hyung,”says Changkyun sternly and Hyungwon looks away. “Listen to me. If what you said about him is true, that he’s done all these things for you- do you really think he only likes you because it’s his job? Because of your face?”
Hyungwon doesn’t answer.
“That’s what I thought.”
“Yeah, you’re a real genius.”
“You know he cares about you,” continues Changkyun, ignoring the jab. “You just need to open your eyes to see it.”
That’s hard to believe right now.
Hyungwon had just met Sungjong- the man who was once the only one to check all the boxes for Wonho Minhyuk claims.
Hyungwon’s stomach twists.
He can’t deny it though, that Sungjong is beautiful. He doesn’t pay compliments easily but Sungjong deserves them all and more.
And yet.
Wonho almost has stars in his eyes whenever Sungjong says something or touches him and Hyungwon finds it hard to believe that Wonho had kissed him a few days ago.
“I hope Wonho’s been treating you alright,” Sungjong says lightly, hands clasped delicately over his crossed knees. He’s every picture of perfection. Not good enough throbs.
“Wow Sungjong, have some faith,” laughs Wonho.
“He’s alright.”
“You too Hyungwon? I can’t trust anybody here!”
“Wonho hyung,” Minhyuk sings, poking his head through the door. “Seungah wants to see you- she said something about another fitting for Taehyung?”
“Okay, thanks. I’ll be right out.” Wonho looks at the other two apologetically. “I’m sorry, this’ll only take a minute.”
“That’s fine,” Sungjong says with a smile and once Wonho leaves, he turns his almond eyes onto Hyungwon. “Do you have any idea how much he gushes about you?”
“What?”
Sungjong’s laugh is like glass. “Every time we’ve met up, it’s always Hyungwon this and Hyungwon that. Myungsoo hyung’s had to deal with it too.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
“No no, I’m glad. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen him so happy.” Sungjong’s voice is fond and Hyungwon thinks he may actually like this man a lot.
“Have you known him long?”
“Six years maybe? Five? He knew me right as I was getting into the industry. He really helped me, you know. I met Myungsoo hyung through him too, which was a plus.”
“Are you two together?”
Sungjong nods, a soft smile on his face and it’s stunning. “Yeah. He’s good to me. Like how Wonho is with you.”
“Well I don’t think so…” Hyungwon allows a burst of hope in his chest.
“He’s head over heels for you, Hyungwon. Trust me on this.”
So Hyungwon does.
It’s late at night. Hyunwoo’s not here.
Hyunwoo’s not here. Hyungwon’s hands tremble, reaching for his phone. He can’t breathe, he can’t breathe and why isn’t hyung here why isn’t Wonho hyung here I need
His fingers shake as he presses the number on speed dial. He can barely hold it up to his ear. His shoulders have tremors thundering through them.
There’s a beep and then “Hello, it’s Shin Wonho. I’m sorry I can’t get to the phone right now but leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Have a good day!”
“Wonho hyung, it’s me.” Hyungwon’s voice sounds loud and frail and he wonders if it’s even understandable. “Could you...could you come? Please, I just need...just need something…” He can’t finish and just holds the phone until the voicemail runs out and there’s a click.
They were right after all.
It’s right after the fashion show that Wonho checks his phone.
Taehyung had done great. This was one of his biggest shows yet and Wonho feels so much pride he might burst.
Hyungwon’s voice grates through the phone and suddenly Wonho doesn’t feel so happy anymore. It was almost two hours ago. Hyungwon sounds so...broken. What happened?
“Wonho hyung, it’s me. Could you...could you come? Please, I just need...just need something…”
After congratulating Taehyung one last time and bidding everyone goodbye, Wonho makes his way to Hyungwon’s apartment. Did something happen? Why isn’t Hyunwoo there? Wonho had grown quite fond over him these past few months.
He pulls up to the apartment and makes it to Hyungwon’s front door in record time, unlocking it. Hyunwoo had decided that it’s only right for Wonho to have a key now.
“Hyungwon?” he calls into the quiet house. The lights are off and it seems almost empty.
But.
“Hyung?”
Wonho follows the voice into Hyungwon’s bedroom. He’s been in there frequently but he still knocks on the door. “Hyungwon? It’s Wonho. Can I come in?”
There’s a sniff and then “Okay.”
Wonho pushes the door open slowly and sees Hyungwon sitting on the floor, arms wrapped around his knees. It’s even darker in here.
“You alright?” Wonho folds himself down next to Hyungwon, careful to move slowly. Sudden movements could scare the model.
“No.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“Okay.” Wonho’s fine to sit here in silence but he’s surprised when Hyungwon tentatively moves closer, a hand curling around Wonho’s elbow.
“I just…” Hyungwon trails off and Wonho pats his hand.
“It’s fine.”
Now Hyungwon has laid his head on Wonho’s shoulder. He doesn’t move after that. Wonho doesn’t mind and takes this time instead to study the books on the shelf across from him. He’s read a couple of them, mostly the newest best-sellers, but there a fair amount he hasn’t heard of before. He should ask Hyungwon sometime.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
“You were busy.”
“You’re important too.”
“Because I’m your job.” Frustrated, Hyungwon pushes himself away but Wonho takes hold of his wrists.
“We both know that’s not true.”
Hyungwon looks away. Wonho rubs his thumbs gently into the skin of Hyungwon’s wrists. “Do you want to go to bed?” The model nods. “You should take your makeup off first. It’s not good for your skin.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it matters. Everything about you matters. Now go wash your face. For me.” Wonho helps Hyungwon stand and leads him to the bathroom.
“Don’t leave.”
“I’ll be right here.” Wonho waits for Hyungwon to close the door before he leans against the wall and sighs.
He heads back to the bedroom, taking out a pair of pyjama pants and a big T-shirt. He recognizes it as his own and smiles. Cute. Hyungwon still keeps it.
There’s a scream and then a crash from the bathroom and Wonho bolts, pounding on the door.
“Hyungwon! Are you okay? Hyungwon!” He tries the door and almost falls into the tiny bathroom.
There’s a crack in the mirror. Blood seeps from Hyungwon’s knuckles and silent tears stream down his face.
“Get out.”
“Hyungwon-”
“Get out,” Hyungwon repeats, lip quivering. He covers his face with his hands and Wonho takes a step closer.
“Let me clean that.”
Hyungwon hiccups and sits on the toilet seat, letting Wonho tend to his hand, cleaning the blood away and patting it dry with a towel. He sets a bandage
just right over the scratches.
“Do you want to tell me why you punched the mirror?” asks Wonho lightly. He doesn’t look at Hyungwon’s eyes, giving the model space to answer.
“I hate my reflection. I hate myself.”
“Well I don’t.”
There’s crying, then. Hyungwon sobs into his hands and Wonho pulls him down into a hug. It’s not the most comfortable, the tile cold under them and Wonho’s knee pressed awkwardly against the bathtub, but Hyungwon’s face is in the crook of Wonho’s neck and everything’s fine.
“Let’s get you to bed,” Wonho says when Hyungwon seems to have calmed down. It’s like moving through water, everything is slower and clearer.
He turns away when Hyungwon changes. Once he’s done, Wonho tucks him into bed like a child, turning to leave when Hyungwon is sufficiently cuddled up in his blankets.
“Don’t leave.” Hyungwon pleads with his eyes and Wonho gets into bed with him. It’s really warm. They should do this more often.
“I said I wouldn’t.”
“I want to tell him.”
Hyunwoo pauses, hand halfway into the refrigerator. “What?”
“I want to tell him. I want to show him.” Hyungwon puts a box into the pantry, not looking at his hyung.
Hyunwoo isn’t against this by any means but he’s not for it either. “Are you sure? I know I said he was good for you but it’s a big step.”
“I know. I want to. I don’t think he’ll mind.” Hyungwon reaches for a can out of the grocery bag. His mind is made up.
“If you’re sure. I can’t tell you what to do anymore,” says Hyunwoo. “But if it...you know...if it doesn’t work out-”
“He helped me through one of my breakdowns. I think it’ll work out.”
Hyunwoo turns away to hide his smile. Wonho really is good for Hyungwon. He’s turned into a confident young man now, all ready to bare everything to Wonho. No amount of coaxing from Hyunwoo could ever persuade him and yet, Wonho’s done what Hyunwoo never could.
“I’ll support you no matter what.”
“Thank you. That means a lot.”
Jooheon’s there.
Hyungwon hadn’t expected to see him. Last he heard, Jooheon was making a living rapping underground, checking in every now and again.
“I’m doing the music,” Jooheon explains enthusiastically after he’s hugged Hyungwon for almost five minutes straight. “They wanted to use one of my tracks, can you believe it? And then they’re hooking me up with their regular tomorrow, to show me the ropes.”
“Spectacular.”
“Come on Hyungwon, try to at least be a little excited for me!”
“I am, really. You deserve it.”
Jooheon pretends to wipe a tear away and says something cheesy about how Hyungwon always comes through for him. The model just rolls his eyes.
Wonho comes over then, clipboard in one hand and phone in the other. “You ready to start, Hyungwon? Makeup wants you.” He then notices the red hair next to Hyungwon.
“I’m Jooheon!” The man introduces himself. “I’d shake your hand but you look like you have your hands full.”
“Well you’re not wrong. How do you do, Jooehon? I’m Wonho, Hyungwon’s manager.”
“And here I was thinking you were a model yourself.”
Wonho’s neck flushes. “That’s nice of you to say but Hyungwon’s much better at it.”
“I’m really not.”
Jooheon nudges him. “Wow, you’ve really gotten modest haven’t you?”
“Shut up.” Hyungwon elbows him before going away to makeup but Jooheon only laughs.
“His manager, huh?” he says once he’s calmed down the giggles. “He must be a handful, huh?”
“Not really.”
“You don’t have to be nice, we all know he can be a little moody. Don’t worry though.” Jooheon presses a finger to his lips. “Your secret is safe with me.”
Wonho chuckles. “I’ll keep that in mind. So how do you know him?”
“Friend of a friend. He came to a ton of my raves too, back when he wasn’t as busy. Him and Hyunwoo hyung too. But now that he’s such a big star, I guess he doesn’t have time for me anymore,” Jooheon jokes before he’s called away.
Wonho watches the beginning of the shoot, keeping one eye on Hyungwon at all times. He’s not the only model there but he’s the only one Wonho cares about.
They’re outside today. Perfect for a mesh of spring and summer. Everything is light and airy and natural and Wonho thinks it fits Hyungwon perfectly.
And yet.
Something almost feels off to him. He doesn’t know what it is but he keeps it to himself.
“Hyungwon, come here. I need to talk to you in private.” One of the photographers, a man named Seungyoung, pulls Hyungwon by the arm away from the shoot. They go near a small bunch of trees and Wonho can’t see them anymore.
He bites his lip.
The two that left are neither the main photographer nor the main model so the shoot continues on.
“Is something wrong?” asks Hyungwon when they’re out of sight of the others. He had only met Seungyoung today. Did he already screw something up?
The man drops his wrist. “So you’re the one Jiwon keeps talking about.”
Hyungwon stiffens. He doesn’t respond and stares at his shoes.
Seungyoung grabs his chin, forcing the model to look him in the eye. Hyungwon is used to being taller than everyone else but Seungyoung beats him by about an inch.
“He’s right, you really are beautiful Still nothing though.”
Hyungwon flinches. Nothing burns under his collarbone. “What did he tell you?”
“Just how much trouble you are. You’ve got some nerve, getting your manager to save you.”
“I didn’t ask him to.”
“You didn’t stop it.”
Hyungwon wrenches his face from Seungyoung’s grasp. “If you don’t have anything important to say, I’m going back.”
The slap comes before he was expecting it.
Hyungwon puts a tender hand to his cheek, staring at Seungyoung in almost horror. His breath is caught in his chest. It stings. He had almost forgotten that physical abuse hurts just as much as verbal.
“Don’t ever talk to me like that again, f-ckup.”
The jolt of pain in his side is almost as bad as the slap.
“Jiwon was right. You really are useless.” Seungyoung raises his hand again and Hyungwon turns his face away, ready for a slap that doesn’t come.
“What-”
Hyungwon glances up to see Wonho has caught Seungyoung’s wrist in mid air, inches from hitting Hyungwon again.
“This is personal,” Seungyoung snarls. Wonho merely blinks at him. Hyungwon’s never seen Wonho look so...angry. So cold. His eyes are like ice, cool and just as empty. There’s a sense of forbidding, of rage, and Hyungwon would never want to be on the receiving end.
“If you ever,” Wonho starts out slowly, carefully. His voice is soft, filled with thinly veiled anger but it’s the calm sort of anger, the sort of anger where it’s too much to come out at once but is even more terrifying than yelling. “Touch him like that again, I will f-cking kill you. Are we clear?”
It’s quiet. Hyungwon’s legs are shaking and Wonho never breaks eye contact.
Seungyoung scowls and wrenches his hand away. “We’re not done yet.” But he’s quick to get out of there. Wonho makes a mental note to never do business with Seungyoung ever again.
He takes a deep breath, calming himself down because he might snap again and he couldn’t hurt Hyungwon because of it. He turns to Hyungwon, heart aching when he sees the red mark on the model’s cheek. “Are you okay, Hyungwon?”
“I’m fine.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner but I couldn’t see you at first but then I heard him and I...I’m so sorry Hyungwon, so sorry.”
“You don’t have to be.”
“I let you get hurt, I’m sorry.” Wonho lightly touches Hyungwon’s sore cheek but the latter doesn’t pull away.
“It’s okay.”
“I think we should get you home. No more for today.”
“Really, I’m-”
“Hyungwon.” Wonho takes his hand and kisses Hyungwon’s knuckles. “Please.”
Too surprised to argue, Hyungwon nods and lets himself be pulled away. Wonho makes sure he has ice for his face and that no one asks questions. Jooheon comes over, worried as all get out, and Wonho only gets him to leave after he promises he’ll have Hyungwon call him tonight.
All Wonho can think about is how angry he is for himself, how angry he is for letting Hyungwon get hurt, and what, before he heard the slap, did Seungyoung mean when he called Hyungwon useless.
Wonho suggests Hyungwon coming over after a final fitting for an upcoming runway show. Hyungwon is grateful; he doesn’t have to look for an excuse to be alone with his hyung.
“You hungry?” Wonho calls from the kitchen, ruffling through his cabinets. “I think I have some more ramen around here somewhere.”
“It’s always ramen with you, isn’t it hyung?” teases Hyungwon, kicking off his shoes near the front door and making his way to the kitchen.
“What? It’s good and you know it,” retorts Wonho.
“Well then you can eat it. I’m not hungry.”
“You sure?”
Hyungwon nods. His stomach is in knots now. Maybe he wasn’t as confident as Hyunwoo thought he was.
“If you say so.” Wonho shrugs and starts to boil the water. Hyungwon watches, settling himself on a bar stool. He doesn’t know how to bring it up.
Luckily he doesn’t have to.
“So can I ask a question?” Wonho’s stirring the ramen in. He doesn’t look at Hyungwon.
“Sure.”
“What was it that Seungyoung meant?”
Hyungwon freezes. Wonho has turned around now but keeps a safe distance away from the model. It’s been a few days but he still wants to know.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but I...I’d like it you did. He hurt you, Hyungwon, and I want to know why.”
“I don’t think you do.”
“I really do.” Wonho turns the stove off, pouring the water out into the sink and plopping the ramen into another bowl. “I don’t want anyone to hurt you.”
Hyungwon gazes at his hands. Maybe Hyunwoo was right. He can’t do this.
But then Wonho puts a hand over Hyungwon’s clasped ones and the touch is just so gentle that Hyungwon thinks he may pull through.
“Hyung...if I tell you...do you promise not to leave?”
“I already said I never would.”
“But do you promise?”
“I promise.”
That’s just enough for Hyungwon and he gets up from the stool, dropping Wonho’s hand. The elder watches him silently.
Hyungwon takes a deep breath and pulls his shirt over his head, letting the fabric fall to the ground. He doesn’t meet Wonho’s eyes, not ready to see the disgust that’s surely there.
Wonho takes in first the beauty of having Hyungwon shirtless in front of him. Then his eyes narrow in on all the marks and slashes traced all over Hyungwon’s chest and back.
Verbal abuse can leave the same scars as physical abuse but Wonho’s never seen it this bad.
He can read not good enough wrapping around Hyungwon’s stomach, f-cking worthless swirling down his side, nothing’s right a river down his chest and f-ckup near his shoulder.
Wonho wants to cry.
“They’re ugly, aren’t they?” Hyungwon is looking out the window now. He can see the skyline. Wonho did always have the best view from his home.
“They’re not wrong though. Maybe it’s better they’re like this; so I don’t forget.”
“Hyungwon-”
“It’s okay. You can say it. They’re disgusting, I’m disgusting but I wanted you to know so I...so you could…” Hyungwon doesn’t finish, biting the inside of
his cheek so he won’t cry won’t cry won’t cry not anymore.
A couple tears drip down his face anyway and he angrily wipes them away. Wonho makes to reach out but then he pauses.
“Can I touch you?”
Hyungwon nods because really that’s all he ever wanted.
Wonho lightly trails a finger down Hyungwon’s side. He won’t trace the words because that would make them more real, and these words are the fakest things he’s ever seen.
“You’re not disgusting to me, Hyungwon. You’re not disgusting at all.” Wonho never thought Hyungwon would be one to go through this but it makes sense now. The tension, the reluctance, the dependence. He should’ve guessed.
“You’re just being nice again,” sniffs Hyungwon. Wonho’s finger pauses right below the model’s collarbone. F-ckup stares back at him.
“It’s more than just being nice. You and I both know that.”
Hyungwon looks away, one shaky hand coming up to curl around Wonho’s.
“You know these words...they don’t mean anything.”
“Maybe not to you.”
“They shouldn’t mean anything to you either. You’re beautiful, Hyungwon.”
They kiss slowly at first, Wonho afraid to push too far. Hyungwon’s in a vulnerable state right now and Wonho just wants to reassure him. Hyungwon’s mouth is soft under his own and it’s like kissing an angel.
“You know I love you, right?” Wonho whispers, their foreheads pressed against each other’s, and Hyungwon shivers.
“Yeah.”
Wonho’s never said it but he never needed to. Maybe Hyungwon knew all along, deep down somewhere, that Wonho has always loved him and always will.
“I should’ve told you sooner but I didn’t want to scare you.”
“It’s okay.”
“I think I’ve loved you for awhile now. You’re brave to show me, Hyungwon. Thank you.”
Wonho kisses him again, one hand cupping his chin and the other snaking around his waist. Hyungwon’s hands have curled into the front of Wonho’s shirt, the only thing he can feel besides Wonho’s lips against his own.
Everything just feels so right.
Hyungwon shivers when they break apart and it’s not just from the kiss.
“Cold?”
“A little.” Hyungwon makes to grab his shirt from the floor but Wonho stops him.
“I should show you too, then. But not here.” He heads for the bedroom, a curious Hyungwon following. Once making sure the model is comfortable, Wonho wraps the comforter around Hyungwon’s shoulders before shrugging off his own shirt. Hyungwon’s eyes zero in on Wonho’s chest. His abs are spectacular. Hyungwon almost drools and ruins the whole moment.
But then his attention is caught by red lines, the same lines he’s kept hidden for so long. He hesitantly reaches a hand out, touching Wonho’s shoulder lightly.
“Mistake.”
“Yeah.”
“Does it hurt much?”
“Not since I’ve met you.”
Hyungwon smiles a little. The lines aren’t as deep as his but they’re bigger. Nothing he hasn’t seen before. But somehow seeing them on Wonho...it hurts.
He never thought Wonho would ever have anything written on him. He’s too perfect.
He realizes that’s exactly what Wonho thought about him.
“It never bothered me too much. I knew it wasn’t true.” Wonho likes that Hyungwon is tracing around the scaring, careful to keep his touch light. “But coming into this industry...well, that made it harder to handle. I knew I could never be a model with this. That’s why I became a manager. I wanted to help others who may have been like...well, like you and me, and help them see the beauty inside themselves.”
“Oh.”
“But you...even with those you became a model. I admire you, Hyungwon. Even before I knew. You’re really brave.”
Hyungwon feels his neck flush. “It only came out because of you.”
“I’m glad I could help.” Wonho picks up Hyungwon’s other hand, starting to place kisses on each finger. It tickles.
“I hope you know I really wanted to tell you earlier.” Wonho’s kisses are now trailing up Hyungwon’s arm. He isn’t specific but Hyungwon knows what he means.
“I wanted you too.”
“I didn’t want to rush anything.” Wonho’s at Hyungwon’s shoulder now, pushing the comforter off the model’s arms. Hyungwon’s not cold anymore; the
fire burning through his veins and his chest are enough.
Wonho slowly, delicately presses his mouth right near Hyungwon’s collarbones. He gives the other ample time to pull away, to change his mind, but Hyungwon only nods.
He almost shudders when Wonho kisses his skin, right on top of f-ckup. Lips trail over him, Wonho kissing and caressing each red line on Hyungwon and making him beautiful again.
“You are beautiful,” Wonho murmurs into not good enough, almost as if can read Hyungwon’s mind.
“Maybe now I am.” Hyungwon is lying on the bed now, Wonho hovering over him, and he’s never felt more safe.
“You always were. You just need reminders now and again.” Wonho thumbs at Hyungwon’s cheek before leaning in to slot their mouths together. He’s been holding back for so long.
Hyungwon loses himself in the feel of Wonho’s mouth on his, Wonho’s hands roaming around every inch of him. It’s been awhile since he’s felt he could breathe easy.
Wonho kisses every broken spot, whispering beautiful into the crevices of Hyungwon’s skin and the corners of his soul.
When they’re like this, together and in love, Hyungwon can find it in himself to believe it.
He doesn’t know when the rest of their clothes come off and when Wonho has a gentle hand on his lower back, asking again and again are you sure but he does know that he wants this, he wants this like he wants nothing else and maybe Wonho reads the honesty behind his eyes because he starts out slowly at first, kindly and placid, waiting for Hyungwon to adjust and make the first move and that’s what gets Hyungwon the most, is that Wonho is looking at
him with more care than he’s ever seen and even though he can plainly read mistake carved on Wonho’s shoulder, nothing about this is a mistake.
He reaches out to gingerly touch it but then Wonho finds it, finds that one spot where Hyungwon sees stars behind his eyelids and feels his fear melt away, his tension and insecurity, and instead be replaced by pleasure, and he moans in absolute content because yes, this is it, this is what I’ve been waiting for, who I’ve been waiting for.
Wonho always thought of Hyungwon as beautiful, ever since he first saw him but now Hyungwon looks positively ethereal.
It’s when they’ve both come down from their high, both having pulled away but not apart, catching their breath and leaning in for another kiss, is when Wonho gets up from the bed.
The covers pool around Hyungwon’s waist and for a moment he thinks Wonho is leaving him, that he really is as disgusting as he thought, that everything that had just happened was merely a dream.
Nothing’s right burns, then fades away.
But then Wonho comes back, washcloth in hand and clothed only in his boxers. He settles next to Hyungwon, handing him a shirt to wear and starting to daintily clean him up.
“This is your shirt,” Hyungwon points out but he pulls it over his head anyway. It’s big and comfy and reaches down to midthigh. Wonho merely kisses his knee.
“You like my clothes.”
“Yeah, I do.”
Wonho pats Hyungwon dry, the muscles near his shoulder bunching and pulling, and Hyungwon thinks of something.
“You say you know you’re not a mistake,” says Hyungwon, watching Wonho. “I wish I hadn’t believed those things either.”
Wonho puts the washcloth away, pulling Hyungwon back to lie down on the bed with his head resting on Wonho’s chest. Nothing has ever felt so peaceful.
“Good thing I’m here then, to help you believe in something else.”
“What’s that?” Hyungwon mumbles into Wonho’s heartbeat.
“That you’re beautiful.” Wonho Hyungwon’s hair. “That you’re loved. That I am yours and you are mine. That you’re just enough for me.”
And that's the end! Happy birthday to me ^^
I hope you all enjoyed and I definitely will be writing more of our beloved Hyungwonho in the future. I'm honestly so in love with them and with this fic tbh.
Thanks for reading ^^
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