Soojung stays hauled up in her room through April 1st to 2nd. As soon as her flight in Macau landed, she is ushered away from prying eyes and is sent home to her parents. She locks herself inside and has been barely out since, mind in a state of blank. She buries her face in the fresh smell of her bedsheets and tries to ignore the fear echoing in her mind. She can already hear the voices on the other side of the screen, ill-remarks one after another, judging her. 

 

Her heart is thundering in her chest, another pang of regret and anxiety running down. Tears well on her eyes and she bites down the whimper that is bound to escape her. Soon, she's looking for a distraction and finds the wall decorated with polaroid pictures of her treasures. She scans them one by one but when she finds the picture of him and her last year in a beach in LA, constricts and the guilt that follows doubles. Soojung shudders a breath and turns away. 

 

She spends April 1st, feeling like she's been played as the biggest fool in Seoul.

 

The morning isn't any better. Soojung wakes up bleary-eyed with a dull tinge of pain in her head, weary to the bones. She reaches for the bedside table and finds it empty, saved for the nearly empty water glass she grabbed last night. Her phone is no where in sight. She faintly remembers leaving her things in the living room when she arrived. She debates whether to get it or to stay put, obtaining it wouldn't really procure any changes on what's been done. But she remembers Jongin and she's worried.

 

Soojung forces herself out of the bed and swallows the emotional roller coaster inside her. She stands disoriented, and begrudgingly walks out of her room in a sluggish manner. She knows her parents aren't around but she can't help but cross the space between her room the living area brusquely, grabbing her phone and retreating back to her sanctuary. She sinks down to her bed again, and for a while, stares at the blank screen absentmindedly. 

 

She can't avoid it forever, so she gathers a little bit of courage and slides the device open. The influx of missed calls and messages doesn't startle her. She goes through each one of them, as calmly as she can. The first message she sees is from her mother asking if she's okay. She doesn't know if she is but replies that nonetheless. She also adds not to worry about her and enjoy the trip with daddy. The next one is from Bear manager saying she should stay low for a while and that he's sorry. Sorry for what? She doesn't know. She moves on to next one and the next one--they're all the same really, words of sympathy and encouragement. When she sees Jessica's message, her heart swells and she has to shake off the tears so she can read it clearly. She tells her she would book the first flight she can find to Korea so they can talk and assures her everything will be alright. Soojung wants to hear her voice now but she knows it's late in New York so she tells her that she'll wait--just call her soon. The last message she deals with is Jongin's and it's precisely the reason why she deals with it last even though it was the first one she sought. 

 

 

Jongin:

 

The tears soon follow. She fumbles through her phone and with shaky fingers calls him. It only takes one ring and the connection goes through easily. 

 

"Soojung, oh Soojung."

 

The relief and dejection in his voice defeats Soojung, a whimper escapes and she's at a loss. All the worry and fear and sadness she had bottled up since yesterday spills.

 

"Soojung? Soojung, don't cry. Please don't cry."

 

She wants to say so much, I'm okay. Are you okay? Please be okay. Tell me everything is okay. I want to see you. Hold me. I'm scared. I'm so scared. It hurts. Help me, Jongin. Someone please help me. But everything comes out as broken and choked, and the panic in Jongin's voice trying to calm her down only breaks her more. 

 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry." 

 

Soojung only gasps his name in vain but the rest are sobs and soon, she can't identify her own from his, as he too, breaks into tears.. She doesn't know how long they cry together but by the time they both have calmed down, Soojung feels a little lighter. She tells Jongin this and he, too, feels the same way.

 

"We will get through this." He says, his voice dark and gentle. "I promise I won't leave you."

 

Soojung believes him.