Standing between the ebony curtains backstage, you folded your arms over yourself watching the stage performance before you, the lights, the dancing the perfect synchronization of the group mesmerized you, shifting your weight onto one foot, your eyes continued to watch the show before you. Absentmindedly, your non-weight bearing foot slowly rolled lightly from side to side balancing on the heels attached to your feet.

Zoning out a little, you felt a breeze rush past your bare arms, turning your head in that direction, you shrugged off the feeling not seeing anyone there. However, your eyes scanned around backstage a little, seeing your secret boyfriend, Hoya, chatting and laughing with some of the other girl dancers. A small smile curled on your lips, watching him react with others before you returned your eyes back to the stage.

A strange sensation slowly overcame you, your heart started to beat harder and faster, a warmth radiated through your chest while your stomach churned, your breathing slowly increased while feeling a little flushed. Lifting one hand up, you slowly rested it on your chest, wondering why your skin was so clammy all of a sudden. The feeling of a knife slowly inserted itself into your heart, causing you to feel a little faint.

Trying to bear weight on both legs, you ended up stumbling backwards a little, not used to the new heels you were outfitted with.

“Careful” A familiar voice sang as a pair of strong hands wrapped around your upper arms, bringing you back to your center.

Turning your head slightly, you already knew who it was before you laid eyes on the man that moved next to you. Brushing his thumb over your exposed arms, he left a fluttering sensation in your tightened stomach, a smile pulling on the corners of your lips.

“Thanks” You dropped your eyes, hoping he wouldn’t notice your lack of eye contact. Hoya stood next to you, his hands retreating from your arms slowly, yet his eyes continued to gaze at you from the corner of his eye.

“Hey… is something wrong? Do you not feel well?” Hoya questioned knowing that you usually were a little more chipper, turning himself towards you, noticing you moving around a lot and not looking him in the eye like you usually do.

“Just a little nervous is all” You shrugged your shoulder slightly, trying to brush off the pain starting to resonate in your chest cavity.

“You are going to do great, trust your muscles to remember the moves and go and have fun” Hoya brushed his hand against yours, trying to relay some confidence into you while trying to keep your relationship hidden from everyone else.

Nodding your head, you looked down and took a deep breath. Feeling the pain recede a little from your chest, however a new pressure began to build, but taking a few deep breaths seemed to help. Claps echoed from the audience as Hoya’s eyes moved from your form and onto the performers leaving the stage. His hand gently rested on your lower back as your group surrounded the two of you.

“Ready?” Hoya questioned as everyone cheered, yet you just stayed quiet trying hard not to freak out.

The announcer introduced the next performance, your team went out on the stage, you tried to be as energetic as you could. Taking your position on the stage, the lights dropped as your partner approached you, taking his position as well. Counting to six, the lights lit up the stage as the music began to pump through the speakers, the crowd instantly screaming and hollering as everyone stuck to their part and their moves.

Catching glimpses of Hoya with a different female dancer, you watched his passion flow through his moves as you knew he was really good at keeping things professional with the other females on the team. Seeing him dance with his heart on his sleeve widened your own smile, making you try harder, raising the bar and making your moves as crisp as you could.

You and your partner moved to the beat, your hips moving with his as his hands slowly encased yours. Moving out, he spun you back in towards his body. Pressing yourself against his body, your leg wrapped around his hips as he dipped you slowly.

“You okay?” Your partner whispered as you just nodded, already out of breath even though you had practiced this dance with Hoya more than any other girl on the squad.

Bringing you back upright, the color in your cheeks left your face, your moves getting sloppy, delayed and slow. The song slowed to a stop as you sat on the stage, taking your final pose. Dimming the lights, everyone broke hold as your partner tried to help you up but your body went limp, your heart feeling so much pain.

“Get up, ________” Your partner pulled on one of your hands as you shook your head, having a hard time catching your breath. Releasing the tension he was pulling at with your arm, your body laid back on the stage. Everyone passed by to exit the stage, however, Hoya’s eyes dropped down to you, your body on the cold stage.

Moving from the group, he ran up to your side, your skin soaked with sweat and your eyes fighting to stay open.

“What happened?” Hoya’s voice demanded, looking at your partner for answers.

“I don’t know, she danced fine, she just can’t get up” Your partner relayed as Hoya placed his hands on your shoulders trying to shake you awake. Your dance partner had waved over the paramedics.

Within seconds they were at your side, Hoya called your name softly, his hand brushing across your pale cheeks. Meanwhile, the two paramedics moving over you as they collected vitals, placed an oxygen mask over your mouth. Hoya moved his hand into yours as they moved you to a back brace and carried you off of the stage.

Hastily walking towards their quarters, they laid you on one of the bed they had set up and started hooking you up to machines and taking your vitals, trying to find the cause of the problem.

“Hoya we are going to have to ask you to wait outside” One of the paramedics rested his hand on Hoya’s shoulder and showed him the door as the other medic began cutting off your clothes.

“Just… take care of her please” Hoya begged, backpedaling while the first paramedic pushed him out of the room. Closing the door, Hoya stayed right outside, wishing there was a window so he could watch you.

his lips, he turned around, his back resting against the door, his hands slid into his pockets as he dropped his head. Thoughts, images and questions ran through his mind.

“I hope she is okay, man” Your partner remarked quietly. Hoya’s head lifted slowly, a fire smoldering behind his brown orbs.

“Didn’t you notice anything wrong with her?” Hoya gritted his teeth after asking his question.

“She was a little sloppy and slow but nothing out of the ordinary” Your partner shrugged his shoulders as Hoya hissed, lunging towards him, scaring your partner against the adjacent wall.

“You don’t say that about her! I am sure she did her best” Hoya pressed him up against the wall, Hoya’s fingers embedded in the cotton fabric of your partner’s shirt, his eyes turning cold before the click of the door snapped him out of his death glare.

Spinning on his heels, he watched the medics push you out of the medical training room. Springing into action, he ran to your side, his hands wrapped around the handrails as he looked down at your pale form.

“We have to take her to the hospital, her heart is too unstable” One of the paramedics informed him.

“Her h-heart?” Hoya stammered his eyes widened with fear, seeing the two paramedics nod, one of them squeezed a Bag Valve Mask or a Manual resuscitator for every breath you were supposed to take.

The paramedics conversed with one another, pushing her out a set of double doors to an ambulance that had just pulled up. Watching them load you up into the ambulance was almost too much as Hoya stood back a little from the vehicle.

“Can I come with her?” Hoya asked over the hustle and bustle

“Are you family?” One paramedic questioned, holding one of the two doors opened for him if he was. Shaking his head slowly, his eyes dropped slightly.

“Meet us at the hospital, I will make sure that you can see her when she is in her room” The medic remarked as Hoya nodded, Slamming the door closed, the sirens sounded before whizzing off.

Hoya stood there, under the twinkling stars with a sinking feeling in his stomach. Waiting outside until the sirens were no longer heard, he turned around, stuffing his hands in his pockets before walking through the empty halls. Everyone seemed to be busy with other things, heading back to his dressing room.

Easing himself down on one of the stools, he pulled off his white tank top fitting his body. Wadding the fabric up in his hands, his eyes zoned out, his mind with you as his grip tightened on the balled up shirt in his grasp. Sitting up, he hissed and threw his shirt across the room. Standing upright, he paced around a little, his hands resting over his belt before his eyes caught the clock hanging above the wall.

Padding over to his clothes, he exchanged his stage pants with the jeans he came in. The thump of his phone on the desk caught his attention as it fell from the folds of his shirt. Pressing the button at the bottom of the screen, your face lit up his background, his heart sank as a tightening feeling slowly squeezed his chest.

Pulling his shirt over his head, he grabbed his bag and held the keys to his car in his hand. Stepping out of the dressing room, he quickly conversed with his manager before racing off to you.

Circling the parking lot of the hospital, he pulled into an empty spot. Turning off the car, he jumped out of the car and slammed the door closed before sprinting towards the hospital. With a little time between when you left and when he arrived, he figured you should be in a room by now.

The automatic doors parted sensing his movement, trotting up the nurses’ desk, he leaned against the counter until one of the nurses was off of the phone. Looking around frantically, he tried to spot you but with little luck.

“Can I help you, young man?” One of the older nurses questioned

“I-I am looking for my girlfriend” Hoya replied, hanging on her every word

“What is her name, son?” The elderly nurse questioned, readying her fingers on the keyboard.

Hoya relayed your name watching the nurse type in your name, she scrolled the mouse a little before she stood up and walked around the desk. Hoya’s eyes widened knowing this couldn’t be good. Was he at the wrong hospital? Did something happen? Can he not see you?

“Can we talk over here?” The elderly woman pointed over at a few seats without anyone around.

“Of course” Hoya nodded and helped her into her seat before seating himself.

“Your girlfriend is in surgery right now, they took her in immediately after she arrived. They should only take a few hours” The nurse tried to explain it gently.

“W-What’s wrong with her?” His eyes turned desperate, more questions formulating and running through his mind.

“I will let you know as soon as I find out” She gently rested her hand on his leg, “Can I get you anything?”

“No, thank you” Hoya shook his head, his eyes barring down at the tile floor between his feet. Her hand gently patted his leg before she rose and returned back to her station.

Resting his weight on his elbows, he leaned over his knees, his head hung low between his shoulders as his hands laced with one another. A staggered breath leaving his lips, his eyes closing slowly trying to keep his emotions inside. Raking his fingers through his hair, he let out a few deep breaths trying to think things through, wondering what all could be going on.

Checking his phone after a while, he sat back in his seat, flipping mindlessly through his phone. Standing up, he walked around the main floor of the hospital trying to keep his mind off of things, yet making his way back to the waiting area, he eased himself back in his seat awaiting any word on you.

Chatting was heard through the quiet halls as Hoya’s bloodshot eyes lifted to see a doctor in navy blue scrubs making his way over to him. The doctor pulled off his surgical cap and rung it between his hands slowly.

“Are you Miss. ______’s boyfriend?” The doctor spoke as Hoya stood up, nodding his head while his tongue fumbled in his mouth.

“I’m Lee Howon” He bowed, finding some words.

“Let’s take a seat” The doctor eased himself down in the seat as Hoya returned to his seat, not tearing his eyes away from the doctor. “The surgery went well, she had a hole in her heart or what we would like to call Atrial Septal Defect or ASD.”

“What’s that?” Hoya quickly asked not letting the doctor go just yet.

“It is a “hole” in the wall that separates the top two chambers of the heart.This defect allows oxygen-rich blood to leak into the oxygen-poor blood chambers in the heart.” The doctor explained in laymen terms, Hoya nodding along trying to grasp the situation. “We stitched up the hole in her heart and she is going to be in the ICU for a day or two.”

“I-Is she going to live?” Hoya questioned the doctor standing up slowly.

“She is, although her heart stopped a few times, we were able to bring her back. She is very lucky, it could have been a lot worse” The doctor bowed as Hoya bowed back, the weight of his words hung in the air as he pulled out his phone, looking at your picture for the thousandth time this evening. His thumb brushing over your smiling face. A sad but grateful smile modestly outfitting his lips.

A little while later, the elderly nurse approached Hoya, Hoya resting on the palm of his hand trying to rest a little with the ease that everything went well trying to calm down his busy mind.

“Mr. Lee?” The elderly nurse cooed, her hand gently resting on his shoulder. His eyes shot open looking up at the face to which the voice belonged to. “I can show you to your girlfriend’s room now.”

“Thank you” He stood up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes before following her through the winding hallways and up an elevator a few floors. The doors dinged as they slid open, walking down a few more hallways, the two of them arrived at the ICU.

“If you need anything else, the nurses out here will be willing to help you” She patted his back gently, “Best wishes to you and your sweetheart”

“Thank you ma’am” Hoya bowed before taking in a shallow breath, his eyes memorized the numbers on the outside of the door before his hand rested on the handle, twisting the silver metal, the door opened slowly as a dim light hung over your bed, the morning light bleeding in through the slats of the blinds.

Holding his breath, he stepped inside, leaving the door slightly ajar, his feet slowly moved across the sanitized floor. Hoya’s chocolate eyes never wavered from you. Your hair slightly messy, tubes running out from between your lips as your body depressed the bed slightly. A sheet covering your lower half while a hospital gown outfitted your upper body. Tubes of clear and red fluid ran over your shoulder, tucking into your hospital gown.

“________?” Hoya whispered softly, pulling a chair over slowly and moving it next to you, easing himself down into the chair. His eyes continued to move slowly over your face. Dropping his eyes down your shoulder and along your arm to your hand resting to the side of your body.

Lifting his own hand slowly, he brushed the backs of his fingers against your wrist, making sure not to startle you.

“Everything is okay now, you are going to be just fine” He whispered to you, tears stinging his eyes sharply while water began to brim his eyelids, his hand slowly lacing with yours, his words wanting to comfort you but somehow they ended up comforting himself as well. A few tears rolled down his cheeks as he wiped them away quickly trying to be strong for you even though his heart was aching inside his chest from seeing you in this state.

Brushing his thumb over your hand, he was careful not to touch any tubes running in or out of you as he leaned down and gently pressed his lips against the back of your hand wanting to shower you with all of the love he could. Eventually, Hoya lifted up his other hand and dragged his fingers across your sweat soaked skin, pushing away your hairs stuck to your forehead. Just wanting to spend all of the time he could with you, to show you how much he loved and cared for you.

The sun slowly rose in the sky, the promising sun brightening up the dreadful white room. Taking out his phone, he couldn’t resist the moment as he snapped a picture of your two hands intertwined. A reassured feeling settled in his chest while an idea came to mind.

Opening up Instagram, he chose the picture he just took, your hand in his, he filtered and altered the picture just slightly, keeping the purity of the photo in tact before adding a caption.

Please pray for my Angel

Adding a few hashtags, he published the picture and slid his phone into his pocket as his eyes returned to your form. The nurses came in a little while later and removed the breathing tube and a few other medications that left empty bags on the hanger.

Pulling out his phone, Hoya saw hundreds of notifications from his Instagram account. Tapping his fingers on the app, he opened the app, he pulled up his post, his eyes wondering over the responses from fans and his friends.

Get better Oppa!
Hope you are feeling better!
Infinite Fighting!
I will! #prayers
Are you seeing someone?!
Do you have a girlfriend, Oppa?!
Cheater!!!!

The more he scrolled the more questioned turned towards you. Messages began to arrive as he turned his attention to the new incoming comments as a struggled sigh slipped from his lips. Seeing some of the fans turn against him, he felt his heart tighten as he could pick out some of the saesangs comments on his pictures and previous comments.

A different vibration came from his phone as a envelope rolled across the notification bar at the top of his phone. Seeing that it was the group chat between the Infinite members, he ran his finger down his phone, bringing down the drop menu and tapping on the message.

Is everything okay? - Sungjong
_________ is in the hospital, she went down after our performance…. - Hoya
Is she okay?!?! - Woohyun
She is trying to wake up from surgery, but she is breathing on her own and her heart is beating again… - Hoya
Again?! - Myungsoo
Her heart stopped a few times today…. - Hoya
Should I bring over some stuffed animals and balloons? - Dongwoo
We could bring over some video games and play them in her hospital room - Sungyeol
Hang in there, she will be okay. We will let you have a few days off if you want them - Sunggyu
Thanks Guys - Hoya

The infinite members continued to chat, allowing the time to slip by a little faster for Hoya. Everyone’s conversation started to fad after a few hours before he turned his attention back to you, balancing his phone on his thigh.

Looking after you for a few hours, he leaned back in his chair, his eyes closing while his thumb rubbed small circles on your skin. Drifting off into a light sleep, hours passed slowly as you came out of the anesthesia.

A soft whimper left your lips, hearing a deeper hum come from your side, Hoya hummed once again before you felt something move in your hand.

“Baby girl?” His voice cooed, a touch placed on your cheek as your eyes slowly opened, trying to focus on the person beside you. Feeling his hand tighten in yours, you gently squeezed his hand acknowledging that he was there and you knew who he was.

“Hi” You whisper, your raspy voice prominent as they had just taken out the breathing tube a few hours prior.

“Hey sweetheart, how do you feel?” Hoya slid to the edge of his seat, his hand squeezing your hand lightly while his other hand rested on your pillow and brushed across your cheek.

“I’m okay, how are you?” You whisper, your thumb gently brushing over his hand.

“I’m happy you are awake” He smiles, his eyes sparkling as he presses his lips against your forehead.

“What happened?” You try and look at his eyes, but feel slightly weaker with every passing minute.

“There was a hole in your heart, blood was leaking back into your heart and the rest of your body couldn’t get the oxygen blood that it needs” He pet your cheek slowly, your eyes closing a moment while leaning into his touch, “The doctors sewed up the hole and you will be as good as new soon.”

Nodding your head slowly, you turned your head away from his hand, his hand pressed against the back of the bed, his eyes scanning your face as you slowly slid your hand from his, resting your hands over your stomach.

“What’s wrong?” He whispers, his hand reaching out to take yours again but you keep it away.

“I just…” Your eyes turn and look into his eyes before looking back down, “You deserve to be with someone who isn’t… broken” You whisper, your eyes stinging with tears, pain slowly filling your chest from the surgery.

“_______-ah” Hoya cooed softly, “You aren’t broken, it isn’t your fault, I’ll just take better care of you and make sure that you have everything you need, we’ll take recovery slow and I will be with you every step of the way. Promise”

“You know you don’t have to” Your fingers started to play with one another wondering if this was the end between the two of you.

“I know, I want to” He caught your eyes with his, a small smile curling on your lips. “Besides I can’t back out now”

“Hrmm? What do you mean?” You tilted your head curiously as he fished out his phone from his pocket, tapping his thumb against the screen a few times, he showed you the top Instagram picture, with your hand in his.

“It’s official” He pressed a kiss to your cheek as your eyes wondered over the black and white picture.

“You stole my heart” Hoya whispered against your cheek as you smile and wrap your arms slowly around his shoulders.

Sitting on the edge of your bed, he wrapped his arms gently around you and held you close, careful not to hurt you. Your heart beat fast but just as you pressed your body lightly against his, your heart slowly matched the pace of his, the machine beeping away happily beside you. Closing your eyes, you rested in the crook of his shoulder, thankful to have someone like him to call your boyfriend and hopefully your husband.. one day. But that is another story.