The first time Taekwoon met Hakyeon and even throughout their trainee years, he thought he was too loud. When it was announced that they were both chosen to be a part of the newest boy group, of 2012: Vixx, he knew that unwavering bubbly personality was going to be the death of him. Through the years nothing has really changed there, although he had gotten used to his unnatural cheeriness, even to the point that he no longer finds it unnatural

There's an irritating sensation of someone poking his cheek, causing him to stir. He swats the offending hand away before he even opens his eyes. he already knows who it is, who else would have the guts to make the most intimidating member do anything? 

"Taekwoonie!, you need to get up now. Come on, I'm going to wake Wonshik up so you better be awake when I come back" there's an all too familiar chuckle as he grumbles incoherently under his breath 

He opens his eyes only when he hears the footsteps retreat, to see the back of Hakyeon. He listens for any indication of him coming back and when there's none he rolls over, closing his eyes again with a content smile. The comfort only lasts a mere 5 minutes but he's glad he got even that before he has a heart attack 

"Hakyeon Hyung says you need to get up" he jumps, startled for a second and almost falling out of his bed as he turns to glare at the maknae

"You need to stop doing that" his grumbled complaint is half muffled as he pulls the duvet over his head, internally begging the younger to leave him alone to he sleeps

"And you need to get up, we have a photo-shoot in 2 hours and Wonshik Hyung already pissed Hakyeon off by biting him. So he's not going to be happy if he comes back to see you doing nothing to prepare yourself" there's no reply because in that moment he chooses instead to throw his pillow at him, sacrificing his comfort in favour of chasing the cackling Sanghyuk out of his room when it misses him. By a lot

"Disrespectful little brats" he sighs, running his hands through his hair as he enters the bathroom 

Blonde really does suit him, he thinks staring at his reflection in the mirror while he brushes his teeth. He turns his head in different angles, picking parts up and flattening parts down, when there's suddenly a snigger and he freezes, locking eyes with an amused Hakyeon 

"What?" He spits the toothpaste out, rinsing his mouth out with mouthwash as he casts his giggling leader -what he hopes is- an intimidating glare 

It doesn't seem to work (he blames the permanent pout he has) as Hakyeon shakes his head, walks over to him and clears the toothpaste from the corner of his mouth, mumbling a quiet 'adorable' 

"How many times are you going to keep calling me that?" He rubs his hands together

"About as many times as you deny it" Hakyeon grins and he finds himself smiling back just a little 

There's a churning feeling in his stomach and he's surprised for a second by the effect Hakyeon's mere stare has on him

"Hakyeon you know..." He trails off with a sigh. He has the words in his head but for some reason his mouth won't cooperate with his brain 

He doesn't understand the problem, he wasn't even this nervous when he had confessed to Hakyeon all those months ago, not even when they had started dating and not when the other members had found out so why does the idea of saying three simple words, cause him so much trouble

"There's something I have to say and I've been meaning to say it for a while so it's about time I come out with it."

"Ah there you two are, you need to help, Hyuk and Hongbin are fighting over who gets the last pop-tart and Ravi won't stop trying to go back to sleep" Jaehwan's sudden appearance has him taking a few steps back but Hakyeon just smiles over his shoulder

"Then deal with it, you're the oldest among you three. I'm not going to help you with all your problems you know and as for Ravi, I don't fancy being abused again, pour water over him or something" 

"So eat the pop-tart and give Ravi an unexpected bath. Got it" Jaehwan grins, leaving the two of them alone again 

"So you were saying?" Hakyeon encourages him with a blinding smile and he stutters, struggling to think of something as he feels every ounce of confidence leave him

"I was just going to say that... I think I really do love having blonde hair" he looks anywhere but Hakyeon's eyes but he doesn't need to as he can practically feel Hakyeon's smile widen

"I knew you'd like it at some point, It really does work for you" he reaches out to pat his hair just as there's a loud shriek from across the dorm

"I better go make sure Wonshik doesn't murder Jaehwan. You should get ready now, we leave in half an hour" Hakyeon smiles, ruffling his hair one more time before he also leaves the bathroom

"Stupid, what the hell was that?" He grunts, glaring at himself in the mirror. He must be the most cowardly boyfriend in history 

-=-=-=-=-

They all pile out the dorm and after a while of discussing seating arrangements they hop into the van. He slides into the passenger seat, next to Jaewhan who insisted he gets to drive because 'Hakyeon always gets to drive' and Hakyeon's only backup being 'I am the leader'. Hongbin jumps in to sit behind Jaehwan and Hyuk takes up the space behind him, leaving Hakyeon and Ravi to sit in the far back, the former behind Hongbin and letting Ravi crawl into the seat behind Hyuk

Thirty minutes into their drive, everyone but he and Jaehwan -for obvious reasons- had fallen asleep and Ravi (who had fallen asleep first) was even snoring quite loudly, he wonders how the other members had managed to doze off with that noise 

"So, have you told him yet?" Jaehwan brings him out of his daydream, staring at him with a raised brow as he waits for the traffic lights to turn from red to green

"Told who, what?" He feigns innocence staring back with an equally confused look

"Don't play that game with me Hyung, I know your secret, you want to tell Hakyeon you love-" he slaps his hand over Jaehwan's mouth, feeling said boy chuckle behind his hand as he looks back at the still sleeping Hakyeon, who's head is rested on Wonshik's shoulder. He fights the childish urge to make Wonshik swap him seats and turns back with a scowl

"No, I haven't" he doesn't feel it's necessary to tell him about the failed attempt in the bathroom (which if you think about it, really was Jaehwan's fault)

"Really?, it's been weeks now. Why can't you tell him?" Jaehwan shakes his head and he wonders just how much Jaehwan actually knows about their secrets, he assumes it's a lot more than he actually should 

"Don't give me that, Ken. You're still an awkward, weirdo in front of Wonshik and I know there's nothing platonic going on there" he feels a little smug when Jaehwan splutters, he can't take his eyes off the road but there's no need to because he can still hear Ravi snoring like a lawnmower 

"Shh, you'll wake him up, then he'll hear you and I'll have to run away and change my name"

"That's a joke, right?. He could and would sleep through World War III if it was happening right outside his window" there's only a hint of sarcasm in his tone. To be honest they all know if you don't wake Ravi up, he'll hibernate for the rest of his life 

"We have to wake them now, we'll be there in 10 minutes, but don't h-"

Jaehwan is already one step ahead of him and presses his hand down as hard as he can on the horn. A loud beep echoes through the van, successfully waking everyone except -not so surprisingly- Ravi, with a startled yelp

"-Honk the horn, why do you never do as I tell you?" 

"Should've spoken quicker"

"Are you asking for a punch?" The question is rhetorical yet, the threat is so very real

"Sometimes you guys argue like an old married couple, it's both traumatising and amusing. Like watching a friend embarrass theirself but also feeling that second hand embarrassment of knowing you're friends with them" 

"I'm just waiting for the map and directions argument, then they'll be a proper married couple" Hongbin comments sending Hyuk into a fit of laughter

"Alright, enough teasing them" there's something in Hakyeon's tone, maybe it's the authority he has as group leader, maybe it's the fact that he's the eldest. He'll never know but whatever it is, it has everyone following his command like second nature

"Someone should really wake Ravi up" he drawls thoughtfully, regretting it dearly when silence envelopes the van and there's four pairs of eyes on him

"Thanks for volunteering, Hyung" Jaehwan pats him on the shoulder, parking the van somewhere he'll actually remember and everyone instantly rushes out, leaving him with an impossible task and a slowly forming headache 

-=-=-=-=-

After a 3 hour photo-shoot, only taking that long because the maknae line just wouldn't stop messing around and an almost murder scene because Ravi hadn't stopped glaring at him all day. They arrive back at the dorm, each collapsing down on the nearest soft surface 

"I'm hungry" Hyuk whines after a while of playing rock, paper, scissors with Jaehwan, who complains that the younger had 'definitely been cheating' 

"Ramen" he doesn't need to go into detail, he's the only one that can cook without possibly burning the place down. He shudders a little, remembering the time he had left Hakyeon and Jaehwan alone to bake cookies 

"I'll help" Hakyeon jumps to his feet

"You don't have to" he stares at his feet, clasping his hands behind his back

"But I want to" Hakyeon smiles 

He doesn't answer, spinning in his heels as he shuffles quietly to the kitchen, an all too eager Hakyeon following him like a lost puppy

'Cha puppy' he smiles to himself, almost laughing at his own thoughts 

"What?"

"What?" He stares horrified at Hakyeon 'he can't read minds right?'

"Did you just call me, Cha puppy?" Hakyeon grins, crossing his arms 

"No" 

"Yes you did!"

"Then why did you ask?"

"So you don't deny it?"

"I don't admit to it" he starts preparing the noodles, ignoring Hakyeon laughing loudly behind him 

"It's okay, that means I have an excuse to call you, Jung kitty" Hakyeon wipes a non-existent tear, setting the table while he adds the favouring to the noodles

"I'd rather you not" he tries to sound indifferent but the blush crawling up his neck betrays him and Hakyeon howls with laughter again

"Adorable" he hears him mumble but chooses to feign ignorance 

"So Wonshik told me never to let you wake him up again, mind telling me what happened?"

"He doesn't like bugs" he shrugs, he knows it's vague but Hakyeon's smart. He can put two and two together

Hakyeon comes to stand by him as he stirs the pot, he feels his eyes on him while he stirs. Unwavering and unblinking 

"Are you okay, you've been quiet today. More quiet than usual, I mean" 

He takes a glance back at the members, each of them absorbed in their own interests 

"Hakyeon I've been meaning to say something" 

"Okay?" He can hear the uneasiness in Hakyeon voice and is quick to calm him down 

"Don't worry it's nothing bad, it just that I- well you see you... I mean I-" 

Noticing his struggle, Hakyeon takes the pot off the heat, taking hold of his hands and stares deep into his eyes "take your time, don't push yourself. Just say whatever it is when you feel comfortable"

He smiles down at him, wondering how on earth he managed to have someone so understanding love him unconditionally "I lo-"

"Hey, no PDA in the kitchen. When's the food ready Hyung?, my stomach feels like it's going to start eating itself soon" 

He inwardly sighs, deciding he much rather prefers Wonshik when he's asleep and not ruining his moments 

"It's ready now, go get the others" Wonshik's eyes light up at the idea of food and he races to get the others

He doesn't continue their conversation and Hakyeon doesn't push the subject, instead they both help to put out the food. Watching the others run in like a pack if wild dogs

"Sanghyuk, stop eating so fast. You'll make yourself sick, Ravi if you're not going to use those chopsticks properly, I'm going to shove them up your nose. Jaehwan no phones at the table and Hongbin... Must you look so cheery even while eating" Hakyeon's eomma mode comes in quick, eyes narrowing threateningly at whoever dares to disobey him

"Yeonnie, let them be. This is our fist break in ages, just let them have fun" he places his hand on Hakyeon's shoulder and Hakyeon places his hand over his

"Well aren't you thoughtful, such a caring parent. This is why I love you!" Hakyeon cries dramatically, throwing his arms around his neck, catching him off balance and they nearly go toppling over 

Everyone laughs at their overly clingy leader and he pats him on the head, making eye contact with Jaehwan giving him a knowing grin

'I will kill you, no one will miss you' he mouths back, glaring pointedly at him

-=-=-=-=-

Later that night, they had all agreed on a movie, all but him. His mind was running a mile a minute, mixed feelings and doubt cloud his mind

He sat on the bed, staring at the black wall in front of him. Too far into his own thoughts that he hadn't heard anyone enter the room until there's a hand on his forehead 

"Are you alright?, you look troubled" he stares up at Hakyeon's face. Edged with worry, frown replacing his usual smile. He doesn't like that

"So do you" he reaches up to poke his cheek and Hakyeon's face breaks out into a grin as he lowers his head

He smiles at the sight, it's not everyday you get to see, Cha Hakyeon incredibly bashful "there's that smile, don't frown. It doesn't suit a pretty face" he mumbles, pulling him down to sit with him 

"So are you okay?" Hakyeon asks again, he knows Hakyeon would never push him but he can clearly see how worried he's becoming. He just can't seem to force himself to be honest and the last thing he wants to do is lie to him

"I... I'm fine" he tired, really. But it's just hard

"In all the years that I've known you, have you ever been able to lie to me?"

He's about to reply with a sassy comeback but Hakyeon plants his finger on his lips, silencing him

"I mean lie to me and actually get away with it" he adds, still not removing the finger and he shakes his head 

Once happy with his answer, Hakyeon removes his finger and sits parallel to him

"When I realised that I wasn't going to get anything out of you as the caring boyfriend that I am-" he smiles at his cockiness and waits for him to continue. There's always more to come "-I was fully prepared to come in here and ask you as this groups leader. But-" his words are hesitant now, not as confident as when he first stepped through the door 

"But?" He encourages, taking hold of is hand. Soothing him with the of his thumb 

"But then I realised that it's not everyone you're being like this to... Just me and I just thought that maybe, I did some-" he doesn't need to let him continue to know where he's going with this and pulls him into a hug 

"No, you haven't done anything wrong. If anything, it's me that's in the wrong" he heaves a sigh

"What could you possibly have done wrong Woonie, other than being so adorable it should be illegal" Hakyeon grins and there goes his body betraying him again 

He holds his hand up to his burning cheeks, trying his hardest to reduce the redness "why do you always call me that?" There's genuine curiosity behind the question and not just because he's all too eager to change the topic 

"Because you are, now I have four rather rebellious kids that have tried to use every trick in the book"  there's an impish gleam in his eyes as he leans forward and for some reason -that he'll never actually know- he feels obliged to lean away "I wrote the book, Taekwoon. Don't try and evade the question"

He gives him a look that leaves no room for argument and in that moment he feels as if he could wear his heart on his sleeve, for the whole world to see 

"Hakyeon, we've been dating for five months now and-" he's cut off once again. Jaehwan, oblivious to the serious atmosphere, comes sauntering in without a knock 

"Guys, we're going out for something to eat. Are you coming?"

"Sur-"

"No" he's at his wits end with the members interrupting their time and when Hakyeon sends him a look, obviously puzzled by his sudden decline he repeats himself in a much more determined tone

"No, you guys go and please. For the safety of of this group... Take your time" he pushes the dumbstruck Jaehwan out the room, closing the door behind him with an almost slam

"What's that all about?" Hakyeon plops himself back onto the bed, seemingly amused 

There's still adrenalin pumping through his veins, pushing him move his legs. He obeys, making his way over to Hakyeon who watches his every move 

"Hakyeon, there's a lot that can't tell you and the fact that I can't tell you is frustrating me to no end but it's high time I just come out with it because you tell me so many times that you, well that you love...m-"

He claps his mouth shut, glaring hard at nothing and Hakyeon places his hand under his chin, lifting his head so he can take a proper look at him

"You mean that I love you?" Hakyeon tilts his head, searching his face for any sign that he's right

"Is this what this is about, because I tell you I love you. Taekwoon if me telling you I love you makes you uncomfortable then, I can stop"

"No. That's not it so please, don't ever stop. The problem is that, despite the amount of times you've said it... I've never" now that he has his burden out in the open he's a little scared of Hakyeon's reaction. He'll think he's being silly for worrying about such things 

"So that's what this is about?. You're upset because you've never said you love me?. Taekwoon I don't care about that"

"But I do. You tell me each and everyday and I can barely-" 

"Okay just stop there, just stop and listen" there's no room for argument and he obeys, giving him his undivided attention

"Taekwoon just because you've never said that you love me, doesn't mean that you never show me you love me. Body language love, it speaks louder than any words ever could" 

"But you can say it without trouble, why can't I?" There's desperation in his eyes when he pleads with Hakyeon 

"You're not me. Some people have it harder and I know you're not exactly the most open with words but who cares. What matters is that even though you don't say it, I know you do, you don't have to justify yourself to anyone. Not even me" 

"That still doesn't explain why it's so hard" he throws his head back in frustration, ignoring Hakyeon when he laughs at his childish antics 

"Because it's not an easy thing to say, not even for me. Loving someone is like, giving them a gun" Hakyeon takes ahold of his hand, placing it on his chest "pointing it at your heart and trusting that they won't pull the trigger" 

"So it really doesn't bother you?" He awes at him, realising he'd summed up how he felt exactly 

"No it doesn't. As long as you know that there's no time limit on love. Express it when you're ready" Hakyeon cups his cheek, placing a sweet kiss at the corner of his lips 

His heart is pounding in his ears when he's struck with an idea, a cheesy idea but an idea non the less

He takes Hakyeon's hand before he can get too far away, pulling him onto the bed with a startled yelp

"Tae what ar-"

"Shh, just listen" he silences him again, placing his finger upon his soft lips 

"What am I listening for exactly?" There's more amusement than curiosity in Hakyeon's voice and he finds himself smiling down at him 

"My heart" he elaborates and now they're both painfully aware of his fast raising heart beat 

"You make it like this. Every time I see you" he curves the outline of his jaw, feeling him shudder at his touch "every time I think about you or hear about you. It's crazy but, I've... Fallen so hard for you that, if I ever lost you. I'd lose myself and I know it's not necessarily the words that I've been trying to say all day but, it's the best I can do. I just hope you can wait for me" he finishes his confession off with a timid glance at Hakyeon, who had been strangely quiet the entire time

"Well I think that, if that's the way you're going to tell me you love me. Those three words will be worth the wait" they're grinning like fools at this point, those smiles turning to giggles and soon becoming full blown laughter 

"You are ridiculous" he sighs, before Hakyeon. He could never have imagined himself being so open, so loved. So in love

"No. I'm unique" 

He smiles fondly at his crazy lover, babbling on about his 'amazing uniqueness' 

"I adore you" it's not an I love you but, it's pretty damn close 

Hakyeon stops his rambling, snaking his arms around his neck and pressing their foreheads together 

"and I love you too" Hakyeon chuckles, peppering his face with kisses "now come on, if we run we can catch up to the others. I don't know about you but I'm very hungry" he pulls at his hand but he refuses to budge 

"Then I'll make us food soon just, please stay here with me. Just a little longer"

Taekwoon still thinks Cha Hakyeon is possibly the loudest person he's ever encountered in his life, but he wouldn't change that for the world. It's a quality that only he could possess that makes up for his lack of words. A quality that makes him love Hakyeon more and more, each time he opens his mouth