While Junmyeon couldn’t complain about being the leader, something he almost always enjoyed (aside from when certain members decided not to act their age). It was the forever mentioned title of ‘mum’ that stayed with him from the fan base. Even the ‘kids’, s joked about it, especially when their ‘formidable dad’ Yifan had been with them.

Whilst yes, maybe he was the ‘mum’ of the group, it took a long time for the members to realise there was a reason he enjoyed sending time with their sunbaenim’s so much. Kyuhyun, Changmin and even Minho to an extent knew his need to drop the ‘leader’ role and take a break. To become a pliant, willing boy who just wanted to curl up, cuddle and not have to make decisions or take responsibility for anything. Exo couldn’t see that the glasses of wine shared with their Super Junior hyung were accompanied with loving, encouraging and reassuring words and gentle touches to put the younger at ease. That every hug that his hyung’s (and Minho) enveloped him in was encompassing and secure. Safe.

He knew they were busy but they were there when he needed them. After his counterpart, his fellow leader left (and possibly the only Exo member who knew that sometimes Suho couldn’t be a part of Junmyeon) his fellow artists would collect him after practice for lunch, meet up with him in the evening, and call when they were performing in different countries. And it helped. Inside his room, the bathroom, anywhere he could be alone or with them, the guardian could stand down. He could stop spreading his wings in protection and could instead take comfort in knowing others were there to raise their shields for him. Their constant strength and support pushed him through, s woefully oblivious in their own grief and anger. It was after all the first.

He failed again when Luhan left, this time having to deal with an unstable maknae and now a slightly purposeless (in the mangers eyes) and leaderless four member group. And the same treatment occurred. This time s got angry at his disappearances. Didn’t he realise they needed their leader? ('And who did their leader need?' he wanted to scoff, but in his rawness and fragility he just couldn’t, always resorting to looking at the floor.) Thankfully his hyung’s played it off, brief hugs in the corridors between practice, enough texts to seem like lovers who couldn’t go a minute without one another, reassuring voicemails left for him to replay late at night when the others had crashed and he still couldn’t get over his crushing guilt and inability to function. Because despite all appearances he wasn’t really functioning. He needed to be taken away from everything but he couldn’t abandon s any more.

This time Kyungsoo noticed.  The ‘other’ mother hen (more like the strict schoolmaster dishing out punishment who just happened to be able to cook) left early for his filming and Suho was always awake, even if he wasn’t always responsive. Sometimes in the kitchen, appearing to stew over a cup of cold tea, other times on the sofa, or in the bathroom. More often than not curled up, clutching a pillow or in a corner. The younger knew this behaviour wasn’t right. His hyung wasn’t sleeping, was picking at his food, was lost. So he did all he could, given his time restraints. Breakfasts, ushering his guardian to bed, the odd shoulder clap that lasted a fraction longer than normal. Enough for him to look his hyung in the eye, like their sunbaenim’s did, and try to send some kind of message. And it worked for a bit. It wasn’t the same but the crushing loneliness Suho had felt, the isolation, receded a little thanks to his dongsaengs observance.

And then Tao left. He should have seen it coming, maybe he would have if he wasn’t so hollow. A taught string stretched to fraying for no reason other than the fact it exists. And he was drowning. He knew what he needed, what he couldn’t have. He needed to let go of responsibilities, he needed his hyungs, he needed someone to stay with him and someone to tell him it was going to be alright and not to blame him and he needed people to stop relying on him and he needed someone else to take that role, and protect him, and be there and, and, and… And he needed to stop these rushing thoughts that plagued him and tore him to pieces inside because he didn’t feel like enough and he needed someone to help him with that but no one was there. And he was alone.

Except he wasn’t this time. Kyungsoo’s actions had been noticed by them all and after the second night Suho couldn’t sleep, resulting in morning of fumbling through practice (Jongin turned a blind eye, not that their leader would have even noticed) and their leader wandering, sleepily blinking, out of the practice room in Minho’s strong embrace. Yet Exo remained. It was there, sweaty and drained, that they discussed the need to look after their Junmyeon With something of hurt pride that their leader couldn’t turn to them; it was decided that their dorm would be responsibility free for their fragile guardian. 

And so when Suho returned in the evening he was greeted by food. The ‘kids’ were behaving, Chanyeol held him close on the sofa despite protects that he normally cuddled Baekhyun (the latter providing a comforting weight by curling at their leaders feet). When Junmyeon finally settled down, with his tall dongsaeng patting his hair comfortingly, he remembered he had to call the managers. Yet Minseok just smiled, grabbing the youngers phone and doing it himself. It was odd, but Junmyeon revelled it in for the evening. Knowing full well this break would not continue.

Until it did. Chen would grin his Cheshire smile as he told his hyung what to order for lunch (which he did, it was good), Sehun dragged his hyung to bubble tea with an arm round his waist even when fans tried to interpret them, Yixing gave praise to his dancing, proving patience, and Jongin helped with whatever he could, a helpful shadow that maintained a comforting warmth.  And Junmyeon felt loved. He smiled more, his hyung’s commented it was a good look for him, that they were out of a job but the gentle teasing only induced further grins. Suho was getting time off and Junmyeon was being given a chance to relax, finally. It still wasn’t always enough but it was there and he was grateful, even if s downplayed it.

The physical affection between Exo members and their leader reached new highs; he spent time curled up in different beds most nights, constant cuddling, the odd peck on a cheek and the forehead. Enough to Junmyeon to melt into the role of being doted on at home without realising, it was what he enjoyed and he was finally being given it more than the odd times he could use his hyungs as his pillar. The pet names started a few months later, and not in the teasing way they were normally used. Soon ‘baby’ was thrown around by even the maknae’s as their hyung relaxed into their taller frames after practice, ‘sweetheart’ when the day had been particularly trying and members (specifically Chanyeol) were trying to coax him to stop pushing himself. It wasn’t something they talked about, yet as their dynamic changed in the dorms everyone relaxed more, it became a haven for all of them. Away from the hordes of fans, away from the managers, but with their band members, whatever was needed would take place. Stage personalities were left at the door, and each learnt to seek comfort in their own way. But Junmyeon, he was all of theirs, and they would always seek to remind him of it.

I hope you enjoyed this short oneshot (1.3k ish) ^^ (There is a plot bunny for an M rated chapter rattling around in my head if anyone wants it...)

We will never know the dynmics of the group or what really went down when their members left but all the same wishing all members, past and present luck in the future ^^ They've worked harder than I probably ever will!