It burned, that’s for sure. It stung like millions of red wasps were piercing his chest. Nonetheless, he put on a smile and acted like he was okay. Like he wasn’t cracking up and on the verge of collapse. He wanted it to be a betrayal, he wanted to be mad at them. Yet he couldn’t because he knew he was the only one to blame. He should’ve told him, he shouldn’t have been such a coward, even though it wouldn’t make a difference.

Taehyung and Jungkook. They were together now. Jimin. He hopes that heartbreak doesn’t have a sound.

Of course, it had to be his best friend to end up with the secret love of his life. That’s just how life likes to treat him.  Nothing was confirmed, but it was so obvious that you’d have to be blind not to see it. Even if you were blind, you’d still be able to tell as long as you can hear. All of the compliments and declarations of love they tell each other.

It was too much for Jimin. Especially since he did everything he could for Jungkook, yet he still didn’t want him. Jimin was unwanted.  Unwanted by Jungkook, unwanted by s, even fans have said that he didn’t have any business being near Bangtan. It killed him. It honestly destroyed him.

But everyone loved Taehyung and Jungkook. Then they got together and the hyungs just loved it. They were the best thing together, so who cares about the emotional annihilation of one person?

After all of this, he ended up here. In the executive office of BigHit. Bang PD didn’t even like him anyway, so this should go pretty smoothly. They didn’t need him. Hoseok hyung’s dancing was more than enough to cover him. Jin, Taehyung, and Jungkook could cover his vocals. They might be doing their fans a favor. Jimin knew he wasn’t the best dancer and definitely not the best singer, he had nothing to offer in the looks department, so there wouldn’t be an issue. He remembers asking Jungkook what he would do if Jimin left, just to gauge his reaction. All he got in response was a shrug and told Jimin that the group would carry on and be successful. Jimin overheard Taehyung ask him the same question. Jungkook went teary-eyed and told him not to say that because Bangtan needs him and that he would leave if Taehyung left.

“Hello Jimin. Have a seat please,” says Bang PD. “What do you need to see me for?”

“I’d like to terminate my contract PD nim.” Jimin chokes out, looking at the floor as quiet tears stream from his eyes. Bang PD nim’s eyes widen, shocked more by the bluntness rather than the request.

“And why would you like to do that? Bangtan Sonyeondan has been very successful.” He questions with raised eyebrows.

“I know. I’m proud of what they’ve accomplished. But I’m nothing but deadweight. They don’t need me and no one wants me.” He sobs out while trying to keep a scrap of composure.

An hour or two later, the discussion is over. Bang PD nim couldn’t convince him to stay and Jimin was dead set on leaving. His contract has been dissolved and he’s heading back to the dorm to collect his items while everyone is out on schedule. He quickly packs everything up, leaving his former living space absolutely spotless, as if no one had ever lived there in the first place.

 His, now former, manager looks at him with a sad smile as Jimin walks out of the dorm.

“Put your stuff in the trunk, Chim. Let me at least drive you to the train station with a proper goodbye.” Orders his manager with a playful yet sad tone as he leans on his car. Jimin smiles and obeys, putting his belongings in the back of his car. They begin driving off to a train station in downtown Seoul, making small talk about Jimin returning to Busan and what his hometown is like. Once they reach their destination, Jimin grabs his things and thanks his manager one last time.

“No problem, Jimin. Just know that they’ll miss you. Bangtan will never be the same.” That was the final attempt to keep him, but it was no use.

Jimin turns around with tears in his eyes and a pitiful smile, “Thank you hyung, but they’ll be just fine without me. Just like they were meant to be.” He walks off as his train appears. Getting on board, he takes one last look at Seoul.  Then the train starts moving off to a faraway city that he knows all too well. That he and his love know. They’ll always have Busan. Jimin will always have Busan.

Goodbye

“Ahh, it’s good to be home.” Groans Hoseok as the other five boys bumble into the dorm. They’re all exhausted, but they still want to eat the chicken they picked up on the way back.

“Jimin we’re back. And we have fried chicken.” Yells Yoongi, expecting to hear an immediate response from the boy. About 30 seconds go by and there’s still nothing but silence. Then Jin tries, using his stern voice to get him out of his room.

“Jimin, come and eat before it’s gone. You need food.” Yet once again, there’s nothing but silence. At this point, everyone is confused except for a nervous manager that’s still standing by the door.

“Maybe he’s sleeping?” Namjoon timidly suggests. They all ponder it but it was only 6:30. Jimin usually didn’t sleep that early. Hoseok gets up and says he’s going to go check on him. Manager hyung hears him and goes wide-eyed, knowing that he was going to have tell them soon. About 2 minutes later, Hoseok starts panicking.

“Jimin’s not in here! He isn’t in anybody else’s room!” Yells Hoseok as he runs back to the kitchen with the rest of the boys. The boys start talking and yelling and Manager hyung knew it was time.

“What do you mean he’s not here?” Shouts Yoongi.

“He has to be somewhere around.” Says Taehyung.

Namjoon also wondered where he was, “I thought his schedule was over 3 hours ago.”

“I’m telling you he’s not here! His part of the room is empty, too!” Frets Hoseok, not understanding what was happening. Then Manager hyung stepped in and cleared his voice, effectively getting the six boys’ attention.

“I really don’t know how to tell you guys this. But, Jimin is not here, and he won’t be coming back. Jimin met with Bang PD nim this afternoon to discuss his contract.” He began with remorse staining voice.

“What was wrong with his contract? Did something need revision? It’s the same as the rest of ours.” Yoongi interrupted.

“I know Yoongi, but it wasn’t a matter of revision. They met this afternoon to dissolve Jimin’s contract.” He spoke quickly before all hell broke loose.

“Dissolve his contract! Why the hell would he do that?” Hoseok stood up and yelled. Tears threatening to spill along with the other boys.

Manager hyung was also on the verge of tears and tried his best, “He didn’t want to be in Bangtan anymore and decided to leave.”

“This prank isn’t funny anymore hyung.  So cut it out and tell Jimin he can come out now.” Jungkook spoke up, tears streaming down his face as he refused to believe what he was hearing. His favorite hyung wouldn’t leave him, he would never. Who else was going to shower him with affection and praises? Who else was Jungkook supposed to tease and push around? Who else was going to take care of him, with that eye smile? The eye smile that he was told that he was never going to see again. No way, this was a joke.

“I wish I was, Jungkook. God, I wish I was. But he felt like he had no place here and left. We tried to stop him, but he refused to hear it.  He’s gone.” By now everyone was crying. They couldn’t believe that they’re hyung and dongsaeng had left them. Taehyung was crying the hardest for the loss of his best friend. No one knew that Jimin misunderstood Jungkook and Taehyung’s relationship: a purely platonic relationship. Sure, they did a lot of seemingly romantic fan service and told each other they loved the other, but it held nothing more than a brotherly friendship. Too bad this was a misunderstanding that caused the broken heart and resignation of their bandmate, their friend, and to one, possibly even more.

“Well let’s just go to Busan and bring him back. There’s no way he’ll refuse us that way. He wouldn’t!” Jungkook suggested in sobs of pure desperation. He couldn’t help but feel like it was all his fault. He never appreciated his favorite hyung and insulted him endlessly. He may have been a little harsh, but he never counted on Jimin up and leaving him and the whole group! He needed Jimin. Without him, he felt a growing, cold hole in his chest and he doesn’t know how to make it stop. It hurts. It hurts so badly without Jimin and he doesn’t understand why he feels like this.

Manager hyung froze with the maknae’s suggestion, remembering Jimin’s final request, “He’s not in Busan.” He lied, yet everyone looked at him, waiting to hear Jimin’s location so they could fetch him. “Turns out that he had enough money saved to go abroad. I don’t know where, but he mentioned Thailand and Singapore a couple of times.” What a convincing story, and by the looks of the remaining boys’ faces, they believed it. Jimin had no place to go but Busan, and he knew that everyone would know that he just went home. He begged Manager hyung to lie to Bangtan so he could move on without risk of them interfering. If only Jimin could see how much they really cared, and how it’s not BTS without all 7 of them.

“So, he’s really gone.” Yoongi croaks out, reluctantly coming to terms with the truth. They had no idea why Jimin left, where he went, or how to find him. There wasn’t anything they could do. The rest of them had also begun to accept it, except Jungkook.

“You’re lying hyung! This is just a sick prank! The joke is over, it’s not funny anymore! Jimin wouldn’t leave us, he’d never! Tell me hyung, where’s Jimin?!” Jungkook screamed in hysterics, tears flooding from his eyes as he doubled over and collapsed to the floor in wrenching pain. The boys surrounded him, huddling together in an effort to console the devastated maknae. Namjoon nodded to Manager hyung, letting him know that they could handle it from here, and he quietly took his leave.

That night, the boys stayed together in their living room floor, huddled together in tears, as they mourned the loss of their brother, Park Jimin.

Months went by without the presence of Jimin.

Bangtan refused to tell A.R.M.Y. that their precious Jimin wasn’t coming back. Depression and guilt away at all of them. It just wasn’t the same without him. They quickly realized the worth of water after the well had dried up. Lie after lie, Jimin has an injury, Jimin had a family emergency, Jimin is sick, and so on and so forth. Even though they continued as a group, their performance and music lacked the spark and quality that made it so amazing in the first place. Namjoon and Yoongi lost inspiration for lyrics and composition, and when they did, it was so depressing and slow that they could never work with it. Hoseok put in everything into his dancing as a way to release his emotions, but his passion and love for it stung because he remembers with a sad smile the little buddy he always choreographs and collaborates with in the dance studio and in performance. Jungkook, Taehyung, and Seokjin struggled to fill the vocal gap that Jimin had left with them. With his unique pitch and high notes, none of them could reach it no matter how much training they received. It just couldn’t replace to Jimin’s voice.

Performances were just as bad. A.R.M.Y. still loved them, they saw the effort at least. They tried so hard, but it hurt all of them to do what they love without the person that they loved to do it with. The rap line stuttered, the vocal line had voice cracks, dancing had too many mistakes, and they cried almost every concert. They retired ‘No More Dream’ and ‘We Are Bulletproof Pt. 2’, because they started their career with those songs, with Jimin. They couldn’t bring themselves to do it without him. Fans eventually got suspicious and tried to find out the truth, but BTS remained in denial and lied to the fans.

It wasn’t until after an interview that the tower of lies crashed. After being asked once again about Jimin, Jungkook stepped up and said that Jimin had to deal with some personal issues and couldn’t participate in group activities. About two hours later, Bangtan’s Twitter went nuts and they checked to find out why. Namjoon gathered the boys and showed them all what had sparked the frenzy. Just a single tweet. One tweet that exposed the situation Bangtan was in and how they were on a path to oblivion.

“Just tell them the truth. I’m not coming back. For the last time, I love you all. #JIMIN”

 Jimin clicked off the television, crying once again at the sight of his former groupmates, and the sight of his first and most likely last love. They didn’t care about him at all. No one came to look for him. No one called to talk to him. Not even a text, after all these months. It pained Jimin so much, he just wanted to stop the pain. He started getting into trouble. Hanging out with shady people in the dark allies of his city. Spending half of his time in an alcoholic stupor or taking as many anti-depressants as possible without killing himself.

They had let him go without even putting up a fight, yet had the audacity to tell their fans that he’d be coming back one day.  He couldn’t take it. He no longer desired any association with the boys who he had once thought would always be there for him, just as he was there for him. He was tired of the situation, he just wanted to let go and move on.

So, taking matters into his own hands, he borrowed a friend’s phone to access the official BTS twitter. He had to use someone else’s phone because he didn’t want the login traced back to him. He used it and sent that tweet, knowing that it would force their hand. It had to, there was nothing else he could do after this. Park Jimin from BTS existed no longer.

About 2 days later he the news to see his name and picture plastered across nearly every station in Korea.  News of his permanent departure spread like wildfire along with the press conference where Namjoon told everyone the situation. Jimin watched the clip of the conference, unamused and somewhat pissed. They had the nerve to look sad and cry over him. What surprised Jimin, however, was that Jungkook seemed to be crying the hardest and the loudest.

He loved Jimin.

He didn’t know until the baby faced man had left him and left behind a cold chasm inside of him that couldn’t be filled by anyone but him. He missed his precious eye smile, his twinkling laugh, his soft hair, his comforting touches, his affection. All of it. Jungkook craved it and kept getting worse.

 After a whole series of promotions for a new mini album and absolutely no music show wins or scheduled appearances, their agency granted them a two-week break to return home and collect themselves. So Jungkook packed up and was on the first train back to Busan.

   He didn’t arrive until dusk and by the time he had reunited and left his stuff with his parents, it was already pretty dark. After a brief conversation, Jungkook hit downtown to see all the new buildings and establishments that had popped up. He passed multiple restaurants and little shops, but he had a destination in mind. A club, known for its popular nightlife scene and cheap drinks, two things Jungkook had needed at the moment.

 The moment he stepped inside, he was greeted by the hot stench of alcohol and sweat and he shoved his way through throngs of people to reach the bar area. He found a stool and immediately ordered some colorful drink off a plastic menu. After about four drinks, and Jungkook could hold his liquor, he had enough courage to go to the dance floor and dance stupidly to the pulse of the music.

After about 15 minutes of rhythmic stumbling, a face caught Jungkook’s eye. Familiar brown hair and eyes, baby faced, and muscular despite being short and stature. He repeatedly looked at the currently sober suspect, watching him sway and grind with whoever.

After about 10 minutes, Jungkook had sobered up and went after the boy to confirm his suspicions or not. He had to push through a few groups of people before he was close enough for the small man to hear him.

“Jimin!” He yelled over the deafening bass, “Jimin hyung! Over here!” That’s when he knew for sure.

The brunette looked over in response to the call of his name, and two gazes collided. Happiness from the taller, for he had finally found his beloved hyung. Horror from the shorter, for he had been found.

  Before Jungkook had time to register what was happening, Jimin was making a break for the exit. Jimin could afford to be caught. He’d come too far to be caught by him, of all people. Alas, Jungkook wasn’t letting him get away that easy. He began chasing after Jimin, repeatedly calling after him and ran after him on the street.

Thankfully, Jungkook was very fast and eventually reached Jimin.

“Jimin! Wait, stop! Jimin, please! Jimin!” Jungkook yelled until he grabbed Jimin’s wrist and forced him to face the younger. Jimin tried pulling his arm away, but he was caught in a vice grip. Jungkook was determined not to let him get away again.

“Let go of me! Let me go!” Jimin struggled but it was no use and Jungkook backed him up and trapped him against a brick wall.

“No. Never. I can’t Jimin. I can’t believe it. You’re actually here, I finally found you.” Jungkook embraced him with tears rolling from his eyes while wearing a giant smile.

Jimin squirmed and once again failed to break free, so he stayed as still as a corpse, “I wish you didn’t. I had no desire to be found by any of y’all. I left because I never wanted to see any of you again.” He lied behind a stone cold façade. He was breaking inside, but he needed to move on.

Jungkook flinched at his words, “You don’t mean that hyung.  We missed you so much. I missed you so much. Bangtan isn’t the same without you. We need you. We were meant to be seven.” Jungkook told him, trying to get some kind of emotion out of him.

Anger. That was the only emotion Jimin was feeling, “Oh. Now y’all need me? Because I distinctly remember someone telling me that Bangtan Sonyeondan would carry on and be successful without me.”

“Jimin, I swear on everything I didn’t mean it. The group needs you. Screw it, I need you. You left and I felt like I was suffocating. I couldn’t function without you beside me, praising me, teasing me. Please hyung, you have to believe me. I realized as I was struggling to go on after you left, what good care you give me. I realized that love you hyung. And now that I have you again, I can’t let you go. I just can’t. I don’t know how long you’ll be in Korea, but please stay with me. Please come back to Seoul, come back to the group. We need you.” Jungkook broke down as he pleaded with Jimin. Jimin still loved Bangtan, Jungkook was sure of it.

He was expecting Jimin to smile with that adorable eye smile of his, or return his embrace. Jungkook was not expecting Jimin to push him off and turn away from him.

“You don’t love me. You loved Taehyung” Was all he said.

“Yes, I do hyung. Taehyung was only like a brother to me. I’m sorry I was so late,” Jungkook grabbed his hand. “But I have you now and I know you still love me!” He screamed in desperation.

“Yeah, I still love you.” Jungkook smiled at his words. “But I’ll learn not to with time. I’ll move on eventually, leave all of this behind. No, I will not be going back to Seoul, or anywhere near the group. Y’all destroyed me. Made me feel like I was absolutely useless to the team. Even after I left, none of y’all tried. Not a phone call, message, letter, like I never mattered. I think y’all would also like to know that I told Manager hyung to lie. I never left Korea, I’ve been in Busan this whole time. Oh wait, but you all wouldn’t know because you guys never even made an attempt.” Jimin spat toward his former maknae. Jungkook was wobbling, using Jimin’s hand as a way to support himself from collapsing. Then Jimin yanked his hand back and Jungkook fell to his knees.

“Please, Jimin. I can’t live without you. I can’t live without your smiles, your laugh, your brightness, and everything about you. I need all of you. I only need you.” Jungkook begged as he looked down to watch his tears stained the pavement.

But Jimin had already decided. Before turning to leave, he looked at Jungkook one more time and said something that shattered him beyond repair.

A/N: sOrRy FoR tHaT tRaSh FrIeNdS. But for real, I know that this wasn’t my best, but it was a way to pass time going 4 hours to Houston and 4 hours back. I know it and y’all can let me know in the comments. For any of my followers of my Jongkey fanfic, I’ll hopefully have an update for that soon! Love y’