Chaerin found herself, missing him

 

It had been three months, since jiyong sneak into her bed every night,

 

and without speaking, he held her and slept one another's arms

 

But today...

 

He has not come

 

And she that has been gotten used to his warmth, can't sleep

 

She found herself wanting to find him this time

 

She grabbed her coat and gently closed the apartment door not wanting to awake the girls

 

When she knocked at the door bigbang a sleepy seungri opened the door

 

- kitty? What are you doing here? Something has happened?

 

- Eh ... sorry Jiyong oppa called me angry, and when I wanted now to find him he doesn't answer me, he has had too many fights by the President, I just wanted to confirm that he hadn't done anything stupid

 

- Ohhh it was probably before came kiko, they have not stopped ..., you know, it must have been why he has not picked up the phone, you don't have worry, I'll have one eye always on him, and I'll call you if something has happened you want ... me to tell him something?

 

Seungri saw how Chaerin reacts to name kiko and he almost regretted having said it, but he could not lie to Chaerin

 

As much as they have that eye hate whenever they were together

 

Chaerin was a great person she never deserve how jiyong has been playing with her

 

- sure oh well ...

 

Chaerin turned back to his bed but looked at seungri

 

Seungri expected her to mess with him to lighten things

 

But his heart stopped with a sweet smile when I look Chaerin and said

 

- Please do not tell him that I came please ....oppa

 

oppa

 

She called him oppa

 

Seungri then knew the importance of what wanted Chaerin

 

If it had been someone else he would have laughed, but seungri knew Chaerin too well

 

She was really ed up, and he would not enlarge the wound

 

He watched her leave slowly with her head down, and curled up in the thick jacket because of the cold

 

He sighed as he watched her helplessly, it hurt him her suffering.

 

He knew Chaerin was a strong woman and she let him see now so broken, showed how broken she really felt

 

_______

 

Jiyong then left the room in his underwear

 

Seungri was at the door staring at nothing

 

- Moron maknae, it's cold , what are you looking out like an idiot?

 

Jiyong stopped abruptly when he saw the look of hatred on his face

 

- Perhaps someone has come? Or..?

 

- You're a kwon ji yong

 

- what the hell! how you dare !?

 

- ji what’s going on? Seungri kun... hello

 

Seungri turned at the voice and saw kiko with only a jiyong shirt

 

- Kiko get back to the room, and you too hyung, after all, that's all you do well these days ...

 

Seungri went to the room and slammed the door behind him

 

How could jiyong treat like someone as Chaerin?

 

In his mind, he returned to spend every moment that Chaerin always had been supporting jiyong

 

always with texts and calls when he most needed

 

And instead jiyong, fell back into kiko networks again.

 

....

 

- Ji what happens?

 

- Nothing but this maknae gives me nothing but problems

 

- Leave him .... while you and I could continue to ours thing as we have removed the dream ...

 

- yeah ... that would be a very good idea

 

They kissed on the way to his bedroom

 

-----

 

Ji Yong wakes up when his phone rang for the third time.

 

- Ji ... I'm going to Tokyo tomorrow come on, just for a day just for today ... stay with me ....

 

- Just a day ehh?

 

- Just. .a .... day. .

 

She Said getting up of the bed to kiss His lips

 

His mobile rang and it dismounted kiko avoiding it to ring again

 

- who was?

 

- Nobody important right now, you are going to see her soon, come here

 

- who was?

 

- Chaerin, are you not going to see her after ?

 

- sure oh come here then

 

They were cuddled in bed without talking only enjoying their time

 

.

.

.

.

kiko went to Japan three days later, she had managed to extend her stay in Korea, thanks to that they had been able to spend more time together

 

jiyong was unable to see the whole week Chaerin with kiko at home, but now he can’t find her

 

she was not in the studio

 

she was not in the ballroom

 

the girls always ran away whenever he asked them for her

 

so  that night

 

he was back in the bedroom 2NE1

 

he missed her and he wanted to see her

 

he had the feeling she was running away from him but why?

 

but it was known that 2NE1 would have a comeback soon and she would have her album in America this year

 

He knew she had to be very busy, so  she shouldn't be running away from him

 

right?

 

maybe she is just so busy

 

.

.

.

 

Chaerin ankle hurt like hell

 

she had three days without being able to move from the damn bed

 

and all for her own stupidity

 

stupid stupid stupid

 

when she left the apartment bigbang, she did not return home , she went to the studio

 

she studied new songs

 

she pointed out new ideas

 

she wrote lyrics

 

and she proved her part of composer

 

teddy and the president were proud of her

 

none of them knew that side from her but of course ....

 

not even she knew  it

 

Chaerin was very good watching and she spent hours watching, how worked teddy and gd

 

and that night she try it

 

and surprisingly she did it

 

but after a night working

 

early in the morning, she should continue with their working hours

 

president meeting? ---- done

 

gym, ---- ¿?

 

at the first sight her body collapsed on the ground

 

she hated running

 

but running after a night crying and being unable to sleep

 

working only and crying like an idiot

 

what she was thinking? that Jiyong ...

 

the playboy g dragon had starting and cutting a relationship with his girlfriend for 5 years

 

kiko was not perfect

 

but neither was GD

 

so together they could form a pretty perfect match

 

like an idiot she called him when she was in the hospital after having plastered her ankle

 

while she was drugged with a strong sedative, she was thinking about it again and again

 

how she had been so stupid to think that he will ever would notice a woman like her

 

CL was the perfect suitor for being the woman in friendzone

 

after feeling ignored even more with her stupid missed calls

 

she explained in one way or another the situation to the group asking for help

 

begging them for don't give explanations to jiyong

 

she just wanted to see if he would come to see her

 

if he would care

 

if she was the only idiot in the relationship

 

but when days after the exit of kiko from Korea,

 

she still had no explanation or calls from him

 

she could only laugh

 

It was not love what she felt

 

she doesn't  even know if she could believe in something like that ......

 

the girls were in the company

 

and she was dying of boredom

 

she would have broken the rule of not supporting the ing foot

 

but the girls knew her too much

 

so they did the doctor explain again and again

 

That if she forced the recovery, the 15-20 days will become even more than two months with the stupidest thing in the foot

 

two months, being unable to get out of the ing bed?

 

no thanks

 

she was going to follow the rules for later she will be able to go on with her life

 

as quickly as possible if it could be

 

when she heard the doorbell her first intention was to pass it on complety

 

the girls had forgotten the ing key

 

damm

 

but then she heard his voice

 

- Chae I know you're there the girls have said it to me in the company, just open the door please

 

she didn't asnwer so his voice was heard again after a few seconds

 

- Chae are you really angry? I .... I've done something wrong? chae you okay? you have changed the code if you haven't change it you know that I'd be inside already

 

another instead had sent a message with the new code,

 

but as before

 

he could get into the house when he wanted it

 

and she was tired of his nocturnal tours whenever he was feeling lonely or he needed a cloth to wipe the tears from his problems

 

but the thought of two months as a minimum that she could get with that on her foot

convinced her

 

she picked up her phone and sent to him the ing code before jiyong pull down the door

 

she just was hoping that he will make it short and go out fast

 

the medication began to make effect again

 

and the consequences ended with Chaerin opening her heart and crying as long as this occurred

 

just hoped that this time was different

 

she would control itself

 

or at least she would try

 

.

.

.

 

when the phone in his pocket rang he was about to ignore

 

but he saw the name on the screen

 

and inside was the code

 

He open the door and quickly crossed the hall

 

- I did not know you had become so lazy ... lol

 

but his laughter stood, seeing the leg of Chaerin

 

- What ... what happened?

 

- I did something stupid ... but if you are here is for something, so tell me, what happened ?, it is for kiko.?

 

- yeah ... she is again upset for  the last concert afterparty of last night, It have come out photos of myself drunk with fans but ... but what happened to you?

 

- my ankle just crack

 

she mimicked the gesture with her hands as she cursed myself

 

crack? What the hell ....?, The medication started to making effect, she had to throw him out of the apartment

 

- You have to go oppa

 

- But are you okay? when it happened?

 

- When I disturbed your morning time with kiko 3 days ago

 

jiyong hit his forehead with his hand,

 

he didn't even remember, thought Chaerin

 

- , the calls, sorry, I did not remember later ...

 

- Ah so now I am better, instead of spending my just you forgot my good oppa already have seen me you can go

 

Chaerin stretched out to try to reach the water bottle she had in her nightstand, this just went from bad to worse, he had to go

 

- Ah ...

 

- wait

 

he opened the bottle and helped her to drink

 

- I'm not a baby oppa

 

- until when you're alone?

 

- I guess until the night

 

- And you could not call me today? I'll stay until they come

 

- Hahahaha, I do not need you to stay, and i dont know maybe because I already imagined that I just bothered you so I didn't take myself most discomfort trying reach you

 

- Chae I only see kiko every at least three weeks, I ...

 

- because of that oppa, I knew she was here, I would not have called for some bull, just wanted to say hey I'm in the hospital, only if you feel like you could spend some time and come here, I am bored, and I have three girls crying over me you can give me a hand?

 

jiyong sigh and looked away

 

She was right, she never called him or asked whether she knew kiko was in Seoul

 

- How long do you have to keep with that?

 

- Depending on how I will go healing

 

Chaerin straightened from the bed

 

-hey hey hey don’t get up!

 

-oppa I have to go to the bathroom, don't make  this even bigger

 

- but you can…

 

- Yes, I'll manage, you're leaving, right?

 

- no! I stay! I will not leave you alone again, I'm so sorry chae

 

He helped her getting up and he went to open the door of the bathroom, while she was walking slowly with crutches

 

- Oppa why are you moving so fast?

 

jiyong laughed and turned around

 

- what…?

 

Chaerin looked pale

 

she lost her balance and fell right into his arms

 

- Chae chae let's get to the bathroom But take me coming I'll take you in my arms

 

- I'm dizzy….

 

- You have been all day in bed is very normal if  you are dizzy to get up but don't let me go

 

Chaerin could not keep a straight posture, her head was spinning

 

Chaerin didn't released his hand as she sat on the toilet

 

He wait outside and when she finished, she got up

 

she stared at herself in the mirror as she washed her hands

 

She felt weak

 

And she hated feeling weak

 

- Chae chae are you okey ..?

 

She did not answer and he opened the door

 

- Yes yes yes, just go

 

- I will not leave you thus, come here

 

He came and tried to pick her up to help her, but she get away from him

 

she gave a slip for  the pain of supporting the foot, and she would have fallen if he hadn't approached her, picking her

 

- Chae what are you doing? you are going to get yourself more harm

 

how to say I'm feeling things that I don't think I should?

 

- You think I'm a useless right? go !, I do not need anyone

 

- You're not useless chae where you get that?

 

- No, I can not…. I…

 

- Hey ... it's okay chae you know you can cry on him always, i will not tell it to anyone

 

- all this is your fault!

 

- what?

 

- I went ... I went to see you that night

 

- What ... wait what night ?, why I do not know anything about that?

 

- it is your fault, I missed you, and I told  to seungri to not tell you anything that panda ...

 

- And why you didn't tell me? chaeyou are digressing are you okay?

 

he has noticed!

 

- Is the damn medication

 

- Chae chae

 

She was dizzy, she was very dizzy, her foot hurt ardently to have slipped, and the medication only was making her very sleepy

 

- Chae chae talk to me, Do I have to call someone?

 

- Everything is your fault !, is already quite difficult to find someone who loves me and that you always get them scared of me, above, you were coming to my bed, and I was no longer find myself alone, and I was sleeping so well ... but when that night. you didn't come, I couldn't sleep !!

 

- Chae, what night are you talking about?

 

- that night !!, and I was even worry , maybe something would have happened ?,you'd still be in the studio burdened with work ?, but no because I even asked teddyoppa so even I'm the stupid of me, wanted to come to see you

 

-chae I… I’m sorry… I…

 

- And seungri give me the motive, which you had not searched for me .. kiko was in seoul ....

 

jiyong closed his eyes in pain, he never imagined that Chaerin feel like this ....

 

she was always just when he needed her

 

maybe he has abused of that trust too much ....

 

jiyong sigh when he finally managed to leave her in bed

 

- It is normal that the first option is the best oppa ... when the second is always suitable for you.

 

both they looked at each other, and jiyong was the first to look away,

 

Chaerin looked broken

 

jiyong had always hated sleeping alone in winter, too cold to get a good night

 

and Chaerin was always alone

 

and Chaerin could ever tell him not

 

perhaps he has hurt her with his actions?

 

because that was never his intention

 

-chae ...

 

-oppa .... can anyone ever love me as first choice?

 

-who doesn't do that, is a fool, chae ...

 

-oppa ... I have afraid to be alone .... how ridiculous does that sound right?

 

-you are not alone

 

He lay on the bed beside her and they both fell asleep quickly

 

After that he never leave her alone again

 

When their schedules or kiko match

 

Jiyong made sure the girls will stay with her or he will sent her with his family

 

they had always loved her, and her own family was out of the country

 

Chaerin was a fragile soul in the body of samurai

 

But the body of the samurai was now destroyed and exhausted

 

with her solo album in America, the harsh words from fans doubting her as a leader, the scandal of bom, and spending so much time away from her family, away from her home ...

 

Two months later in a not very cheerful phone conversation with kiko

 

She said the words again

 

- We have to end this for onces I'm exhausted ji ...

 

- ....

 

- ....

 

- ....

 

- Ji you ignore me on my visits to Korea, and we practically can't create a phone conversation longer than 4 minutes ....

 

- I know

 

kiko was surprised, he had never seemed so resigned, always he gave the best of him to keep her

 

- Ji .... I'm seeing someone else ....

 

Jiyong sigh

 

- I know ... I know kiko

 

kiko whooped

 

- It seems that you are not even care our relationship

 

- I knew this day would come kiko

 

- of the break?

 

- The day when I get tired of imitating your ideal man ...

 

- What do you mean by that? Ji ...

 

- Kiko goodbye

 

Jiyong left again  the phone where it was, and he sat back down next to Chaerin on the couch

 

- Oppa .... Are you okay?

 

- Oppa is very tired chae ...

 

He lay on the couch with his head in the lap of Chaerin

 

She his hair while he dozed

 

- It's over, hunchae, finally ended

 

Chaerin looked at him with concern but jiyong smiled happily.

 

- You know ... I really think the main problem is that you have always been my first choice ....

 

- Oppa what ....

 

jiyong rose enough to shut her up with a sweet kiss,

 

their first kiss ...

 

- Chae ... oppa will not let you sleep alone anymore .... you know it really ....?

 

Chaerin smiled and nodded embarrassed

 

and so without a word of confirmation, without a big change,

 

both realized that they never had second choices ....

 

only a fear of advancement

 

that for both of them

 

As with everything else in their relationship .... , It came naturally

 

none had to say no declaration of love,

 

because inside of them they knew that there was nobody and nothing more

…...