I saw a dream, the whole scene was filmed throught the camera. Old cine-film camera. Filming started from empty hospital bed, hurriedly aside thrown sheets and covers where hanging on it's sides. Camera continued to film the floor. The floor was full of blood and mud. There was those blood bags what are used in hospitals, some needles and hydration bags?

Camera continued to film forward until it showed legs. A man who was sitting legs crossed. The man was holding a girl dressed in white. Dark, almost shoulder length hair covering her face. The man in my dream was Taemin. I sat between his legs my both legs over his.

He sat leaning against the wall, holding me like i was the most precious thing for him. He held me so tightly i could feel his arms around me. I felt his warm breath on my face when he cried. ”Please don't go. Please don't go.” i wanted to answer ”i'm not going anywhere. Don't worry...”

But i couldn't move and i felt so cold. I didn't want to be cold and his cries got louder when he swinged us back and ford his back hitting the wall behind him. He pressed his hand on my cheek to brush my hair away from my face, to look at me. But why i saw everyhing from the camera angle? He pressed is forehad agaisnt mine and begged me to come back. My body didn't react to his voice so he laid my head betweeen his neck and shoulder and kissed the top of my head. All i did was breath calmly when he held me. I felt so safe in his embrace. But i was sad too because of his cries. Why was he crying when i was feeling ok?

But then i started to fade and his cries got only louder and nurse woke me up. ”I will take the blood pressure monitor from your arm.” she said. I only nobbed. My head full of his cries. And my eyes getting watery. I didn't want to cry to look weak and give a wrong signs like i was in pain. I was not in pain. I was sad. Why did he cry. What did i do to make him cry so much?

All i wanted was to fall asleep again and tell him everything was ok but i couldn't sleep anymore when other nurse asked did i wanted to stood up and eat something. ”no let me sleep.” I wanted to tell her. But instead i said ”Yes.” And let her help me to stand and walk towards the couch.

I cried more when i was sitting in the recorvery room alone. I felt so sick and the dream still haunted me. I wanted answers why i saw dreams like this? Because this is not my first time. Why are my dreams so sad. Why Taemin is always there?

I know it doesn't mean anything but it just makes me wonder why do i see dreams like this.