Soojung put down her duffel bag. She had just arrived home from a long day of practicing. Her legs hurt like hell, and the bruises she got from intense dance training for the past two months has become more visible to the eyes. "Ughh," Soojung groaned. She didn't like the blue spots that appeared here and there on her legs, it's going to be a pain waiting for them to dissapear. Soojung hoped they'd dissapear just in time for the concert.

Her concert.

Their very first solo concert.

The thought made Soojung shivered, as she grabbed a bag of ice from the refrigerator and head to the living room. She sat down on the brown sofa and the tv before putting the bag to her legs. She patted the bruises, hoping it would magically dissapear in one night. 

As she was trying to heal her bruises, Soojung turned her attention to the TV. It was a re-run of a music show from a few months ago. Apparently the MCs were interviewing the artists whose having a comeback, and there he was. Sitting at the far end of the sofa, holding a mic as he listened to the MCs. He looked tired, Soojung thought. Other people would say he looked handsome and refreshing, but Soojung caught a glimpse of boredom in his eyes. Those brown eyes didn't twinkle like it used to do, when the owner was looking at her. 

Soojung instantly reaching for her phone on her jacket's pocket. No message.

He last contacted her two days ago. Telling her he was busy preparing for their tour, and Soojung telling him about the concert. He was so excited, and Soojung began to think if it's okay to invite him to the concert. But, can he come? The spotlight would be on him, though.. They were once a couple on a drama, and apparently their chemistry was better than the lead couple themselves.

"Soojung, is that you?" came Jessica's voice from her room. 

"Yes, onnie!" 

Jessica came out from her room, wearing pink pajamas and a big cardigan. "Did you just come back?"

Soojung only nodded, before continuing to pat her legs. 

"Aigoo, my poor sister." Jessica took a seat beside her. "Does it hurt that much?"

Soojung shook her head. "It's okay, I've been there before."

"Have strength, little sister. You know onnie will always root for you." Jessica gave her a big sisterly hug. 

"I know." Soojung smiled.

It's nice to have her sister around. Maybe that's another plus point about her quitting Girls' Generation. Jessica would be home more often, when she's not busy running a big company. Jessica still travelled a lot, but when she's in Seoul she would stay home as long as she could, and that means Soojung can see her sister more often. 

Soojung wondered if he would cheer on her like her sister could. And she shook off that feeling. He has his life, and he would not bother with hers.

She looked at her phone which sat silently at the coffee table in front of her. Still no message. 

"Look, there's Minhyukkie." it's like Jessica can read her mind. 

CN Blue was performing, and he looked rather dashing as always. 

"How long has it been for you guys? A year? Two?"

Soojung arched her eyebrows. "What about us?"

"This.." Jessica gestured a round motion with her finger. "Thing you have going on with him."

"What thing?"

"You know..." Jessica shrugged, sinking to the sofa. "That... what do you call it? Some?"

"Some?"

"You know the song, Some? 내꺼인 듯 내꺼 아닌 내꺼 같은 너?" Jessica sang. 

Soojung laughed. "I love that song."

"니꺼인 듯 니꺼 아닌 니꺼 같은 나..." Jessica continued. "So?"

"He's not mine." Soojung's eyes were fixed on the TV. CN Blue just finished performing and it was the commercial now. 

"And I'm not his. I will never be." She shrugged her shoulders and got up to put the now melted ice to the trash bin. 

"Why don't you just ask him?" Jessica asked. 

"How?"

"I don't know, like.. 'oppa what am I to you?' those kinda conversation. Have you ever done it?"

"Never."

"Why?"

"Too afraid." Soojung got back on the sofa. It was now 12 AM, but she didn't feel tired at all. She loved talking to her sister, even if it's in the middle of the night and her dance teacher has been torturing her all day. 

"Afraid of...."

"His answer." Soojung played with her jacket. "Of his questions."

"But are you happy? With the situation? Are you happy, knowing he's not yours?"

"What do you mean?"

Jessica took the remote and flipped to a few channel until she found fashion TV. "I mean, you guys didn't have a status. Like, he's basically free to do whatever he wants, with whoever girl he chose."

"But I also have that freedom, onnie."

"But will you use that freedom?" Jessica looked at her, and suddenly it dawned on her. She would never... ever. Because it was him. And it was always him since one and a half year ago. Since he called her that morning after their reunion dinner with the rest of the Heirs gang, and the daily message and daily phone call continues until today. Well, two days ago. 

"How many guys have you turned down since he came into your life?" Jessica asked. 

Soojung kept silent, only staring at the TV without even know what was on it. 

"Soojung, I want you to be happy, I want you to have a..."

Just then, her phone rang. 

And she grabbed it at the speed of light. 

A simple alphabet was shown as the caller ID: K.

She almost fainted. 

"This is your chance, honey." Jessica looked from behind her sister's shoulder. "I will go to bed, now. Good night."

"Hello?" she stuttered. She didn't know why she felt so nervous. Was it the talk with Jessica? Or was it because she missed him so much. Two days was the longest they didn't talk with each other since half a year ago. 

"Hi!" came his cheerful voice. Too cheerful for a 1 AM phone call. "Are you busy?"

"No, not at all." she answered, a beat too fast. 

"Okay, so..." she could feel him considering his next word. "I'm... I'm kinda downstairs."

"What?"

"Yeah, downstairs. In my car, though. Ugh... parking lot."

She was silent. What was he saying? Was he here???

"Could you come down for a minute?" he finally said. 

"Uh..." she wanted to say: could you come back tomorrow? It's late, and I'm tired, and I need to sleep. But that would be a lie. Because when it came to him, she will make time. Because he's that important.

He was hoping she would say yes. A part of him wanted her to tell him to go home, but he couldn't. This couldn't wait. He spent two days thinking about the words to say, the choices: hers and his, the consequences, and the 'what ifs'. He would not back down now. 

"Let me change my clothes first." she finally said, and breathed the sigh of relief. 

"Allright, I'll be waiting for you."

5 minutes later, she was walking at the parking lot, to his car. He was tapping the steering wheel nervously, and he thought she looked beautiful eventhough it clearly showed that she was tired. 

She opened the passenger's seat door and went inside. "Hi." she said as she closed the door. 

"Let's eat." he said, starting the engine. 

She arched her eyebrows. I thought we're going to talk here, she thought, but didn't protest. She would appreciate more time with him. 

He drove his car in silence, exited the parking lot and to the almost empty road. He turned left until they reached the main road, and Soojung wondered where will he take her. Han river? It was famous for late night date session. She heard the Girls Generation girls talked about it during their early days as an idol, being in Han river in the middle of the night was both scary and exciting. They said the whole sneaking up there with your boyfriend made the date more exciting. "It made your heart race." said Sooyoung, liked she's been on one before--she obvioulsy didn't because they just began their carreer as idols-- "It made the oppa looks more handsome!" The girls squealed, and Soojung just sat there listening while eating their pancakes. She was just here for the food anyway. 

But this isn't a date, Soojung thought. He just wanted to eat. Probably because they haven't seen each other for almost two months. And suddenly she remembered. 

"I'm sorry for missing your concert." She began. 

He smiled, eyes still fixed on the road. "It's okay. Happy birthday once again."

She chuckled. "My birthday was more than a month ago."

"I know."

"Present?" she held her hand out to him. "Where's my present?"

That made him laugh. "I'll give you your present, Soojung-ah."

"Really?"

"Yep!"

He pulled up in front of a small restaurant that was still opened. "This restaurant open for 24 hours. Are you up for some soup?" he said, winking to her as he exited the car. Soojung hurriedly followed. 

The brightly lit restaurant served various kinds of soups which made Soojung's stomach grumbled. Minhyuk led the way to the back of the restaurant; eventhough it was totally empty, they didn't dare to sat in front of the window. Just in case...

He ordered a spicy tofu soup and she ordered a beef soup. She prayed she won't gain weight, because she cannot.. really really cannot spend another day at the gym. She was too tired and too lazy to work out. 

"Please don't tell my manager and onnies about this." Soojung said. Minhyuk was placing the chopsticks and spoon in front of her. 

"Huh?"

"I cannot... have a midnight snack, actually. It's almost time for the concert."

Minhyuk laughed. Oh how she missed that laugh. He sounded so cheerful and boyish, two traits that she loved most about him. 

Did she just thought love?

"Noted. It won't tell anyone."

Soojung smiled. She knew he would kept his promise, like he always does. 

The ahjumma came back with a big bottle of water and two glasses, and Soojung served him the water. "Thank you, Soojung-ah.. It's been too long, isn't it?"

Soojung nodded. It's been too long, oppa. You have no idea.

Soojung wondered if he could read her mind, then she wouldn't have to say anything to him. But then she would be screwed. Because he would know.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" Soojung asked. 

Just then the ahjumma came with their food. "First, let's just eat.." Minhyuk smiled, helping the ahjumma placing the bowls in front of them.

They ate and talked. It still amazed Soojung how they could talk about everything. They didn't have that much in common: he was in a band, she was in a girl band. He was such a guy, who loved to play football and games and slept. One time Minhyuk slept for 28 hours after two nights of recording and no sleep, and Soojung almost called the police because he hasn't woke up for more than a day. He was bright, and cheerful, and she was introvert and she didn't get along people that well. Soojung wondered how and what kind of magic Kang Minhyuk used to made her feel comfortable. 

Kang Minhyuk made her wondered a lot. 

And she wondered if he thought of her as much as she thought of him. 

Everyday. 

They finished eating 30 minutes later. Minhyuk paid for the food and they went back to the car. 

"Where are we going?" she asked him again.

"Just.. driving." he answered.

Soojung nodded. She turned the radio on and leaned her head on the window. The street lights flashing in front of her eyes. 

"Isn't it beautiful?" Minhyuk suddenly said. 

"Huh?"

"Seoul. Isn't it beautiful?"

Soojung looked at him, and to the road in front of them. It was almost empty as the clock showed it was 2 o'clock in the morning. 

"I used to wonder if most of Seoul people has the same problems as I do."

"Ten point zero one million." 

"What?"

"Ten point zero one million people live in Seoul. As of two thousand and fourteen." Soojung shrugged. 

"Did you just made that up?" Minhyuk laughed. Soojung antics always amazed him, even after all these years. 

"It's just a fact I know."

"How do you know that?"

Soojung waved her phone. "The internet."

He laughed again, making her blushed. And she was thankful he was too focused on driving he didn't notice her cheeks turning red. "You're really something."

"What other things you searched on the internet?"

"F(x)." she answered proudly. Yes, she looked up her group's name every once in a while to keep up with what people were talking about.

He laughed again. "Of course."

"And CN Blue." she didn't know where did she find the courage to said his group's name. 

He was smiling when he said, "Me too."

"I searched for F(x) every once in a while."

"And Jung Soojung."

"..."

"And Krystal."

Now it's her turn to laugh. "Really?"

"Really! See for yourself!" He gave his phone to her.

"No! It's your... privacy." She put the phone on the dashboard.

They were silent again. Soojung thought about the topics she could say. What about a nuclear crisis up in north? Or the US presidential election? Will that be too heavy for 2.30 in the morning?

"I really... searched your name." Minhyuk broke the silence.

"Every... day." he said quietly, and Soojung wondered if she was supposed to hear that or not?

"I wanted to see how you're doing."

"You can just call me." she smiled.

"No.." Minhyuk shook his head as they stopped at a red light. They were in the middle of Itaewon, Soojung noticed.

"I cannot call you, because I was thinking."

"About..." Soojung trailed off, letting Minhyuk to continue.

"Us." he sighed. 

Finally.

Finally.

The thing Soojung was most afraid of.

She hoped he didn't pick her up that night. She hoped she would be awake from this awkward dream and everything about them would just be blurry like it's always be. 

"How long has it been, Soojung-ah?" he asked her. 

Three hundred and eighty days, Soojung thought. But instead she said, "What? How long it been.. what?"

Minhyuk looked at her as if to say. "Please stop acting dumb."

Soojung looked out the window to avoid his gaze. Please stop, stop looking at me and stop this conversation right now. She knew where this is going and she didn't like it. She prayed for him to drop the conversation and just drive her home. 

"Soojung..." he whispered her name. 

No, Soojung thought. No. 

"What happened between us?"

Soojung closed her eyes as she leaned her head to the window. She opened them again after a few seconds and stare directly at him. 

"I don't know." she said. 

"One day I was your friend and now... we became..." he said slowly. "This."

"Define this." she boldly said. 

Minhyuk stared at the road for a minute, contemplating of things to say. He actually has a lot in his minds, hell, he's thought about this for two days, he even practiced his lines with Chichi--his cat-- but now, in front of the girl who was the source of his misery, he could say nothing.

"I actually don't know what to say."

"Then why are you kidnapping me in the middle of the night?"

Minhyuk was startled because Soojung slightly raised her voice. 

She noticed his shocked expression. "Sorry."

"I have a lot to say, Soojung-ah. Really, I do. I have this... courage I'm trying to build since a year ago." Minhyuk said. "But I don't know how to say it without confusing you, and myself."

"Just say it." Soojung said. A part of her wanted to go home and sleep and another part of her wanted him to just say it without circling the universe. 

"I do. Really.... Argh..." He punched the steering wheel. He bit his lower lip. 

"What do we become, oppa?" she asked. 

"Something more than friend." Minhyuk said under one breath. Soojung was taken aback with his sudden confession. She looked away, to the window and the street lights outside, and smiled. 

"Or at least that's what I think.. or what I want."

"Are we?"

"I wanted to know.. about your feeling, Soojung." he said. "I'm not really good at this."

She laughed. "I can see that."

"I'm not really good at this too, oppa."

She inhaled deeply, before she began. "I'm not really good at anything, actually. Because I haven't been in something before. Whatever this thing we had."

"Having." he corrected her. "We're having. It's not done yet."

"So how will it end?" she dared herself to say. She has to hear his answer, after all this time. Besides, it's already past her bedtime and they might as well drove around until morning. 

"Anything you wanted to be." Minhyuk's answered surprised her. 

Because that's not what she wanted to hear. She didn't want to be the decision maker, she didn't want to be responsible of them.

"Why me??"

"Because I love you enough to let you decide."

Her legs just turned into jelly, and Minhyuk stopped abruptly at another red light.

Minhyuk took another deep breath, let's just get this over with. 

"I don't want to pressure you into anything--a relationship-- because I know you love your carreer, and you've had a rough couple of years, and now you're trying to get back on your feet.. and you succeed. And I don't want to bother you.. It's okay for me to see you on the sideways." he smiled looking at the road. Because he was picturing the years they spent as friends, and another as something more. He saw her at her lowest state, saw her getting up and being amazing again. He was proud of her achievements and what she became, and he didn't want to ruin it just because he love her.

"But.." Soojung stuttered, realizing the situation now. He was so selfless and Soojung hoped he was more of a fighter. "But why don't you fight for me?"

"Because it's going to be hard for us."

"I know." she sighed, but it's okay as long as I'm with you. 

"Are we worth it, Soojung?" Minhyuk asked. 

Under the street lights--that was coming from the front window-- he looked rather sad.

You are worth it.

"You are." He continued. "You are." as if to made sure she heard him. 

"So what do you want?" Soojung asked. "I know what I want, I don't want you to just see me from the sideways." she shrugged.

He chuckled. "Yeah, that's rather pathetic, isn't it?"

"Really.. pathetic. You're wasting a year of your life."

He laughed. "I don't want to."

She joined him. "Me neither."

"So?"

"So?"

"What are we?"

She didn't realized they were back at ther apartment complex. They were done. He was done. He entered the parking lot and parked his car.

He his seat to face her. 

"It's going to be difficult and it's going to be another rough path in our already hard life." Minhyuk said. "But I'm going to be selfish for once, and I'm going to ask you to take a step further in our relationship, Soojung."

She smiled. Encouraging him to continue. 

"I cannot guarantee you that we're going to be forever. I don't even know if I could see you tomorrow, because you know we both are going to be busy, and we're going to travel a lot and distance... distance ruins relationships." he caught a breath. "But all I know that I like you.. so much.. no.. I love you, so much, at this moment. And I hope that'll be enough for you."

It is.

Soojung couldn't find a word to say, so she just hugged him. 

At 5 AM, as the sun started to rise from behind the clouds, Soojung entered her apartment. Dawn. Soojung loved dawn, when she could see the moon but the sun light was already shining. 

She took of her jacket and hurriedly went to the window, and saw his car as he exited the parking lot. 

She smiled. Goodbye, for now.

"Soojung?" Jessica entered the living room, she was yawning and her hair was messy. 

Soojung turned to her sister, held her hand and said, "Onnie, I think I have a boyfriend."