a.n if you saw an update, it was just an edited ver. :)

Baby baby I hate this night
Baby baby I hate being alone

I see the sight of winter night from my apartment. It’s basically a white blanket that covers the ground; the other colors come from the street light. I slightly touch the metal side of the window glass. Cold. What will I say to winter? Shivering, I curse to the weather.  you.  you winter for being cold! I hate to realize that I become aware that I am cold. Throwing the cold empty beer can somewhere in the apartment, I walk towards the refrigerator to take another can. I loosen up the necktie, then throw it on the floor. I am still on my black suit apparently. The one that you like so much.

I’m wasted.

My head swirls as I walk back to see the sight again.

I go back to the glass window, leaning my temple without opening it. Where are you? Why don’t you come home tonight? I hate being alone, baby. Especially this night. I blow warm air to the glass window to create a fog and write your name on it.

Kwon Jiyong.

You know very well that I hate being alone at night, why did you leave me alone?

Hey girls, if you are not busy
Could you please stay the night with me?
Oh baby I’m not asking you anything
Just let’s have a chat

“Hello, Mayu? Could you come to my house tonight? No? Oh okay.”

“Heeyyy… Elizaaa! What are you doing tonight, Babe? Busy?”

“Mary? Mary?”

Those were the things I said when I slightly begged to all the girls to come to my apartment. Correction, it’s our apartment. It’s always been the same cycle: I cheerily greeted them, called their name with a lot of sweetness in my voice, invited them to come, and then got rejected.  you all. And finally, here I am. Drinking the night away by myself, while cursing to all the things I see.

You girls just want to ride my fame, huh? Where are you when I need you the most? When he left me like this? I hit the window helplessly. I lost count of how many girls I’ve contacted tonight. I just scrolled then called then scrolled again when I failed, until I found the end of my contacts on phone, but no one could accompany me tonight. Maybe they thought that I had my own plan.

In fact I don’t have any plan.

Look at me, finishing cans of beer alone. I am not asking for buddy –all I did was asking them to accompany me through the night. I can’t spend more time alone. Without you, Kwon Jiyong. We’re supposed to be together tonight. At the time like this, we’re supposed to drink beer together, with me, leaning on you and you leaning on me.

Together, when we leaned to each other, we could do anything.

What am I supposed to do when I don’t have someone to lean on? It takes