Side Effect of my Fear
Then There's You
I think it had become my habit to hesitate, to doubt. Hesitation had become a part of me. I breathe it in and I breathe it out, and it had become a necessity, like requiring oxygen to live.
I required the hesitation. It is my protection. My immunity against the possibility of being disappointed by people, of my expectations towards them.
Hesitating was a side effect of my fear.
I was afraid of getting hurt. I was afraid that if I don’t hesitate, I’ll open myself up too much and I would get gobbled up, leaving me with nothing but anguish and misery.
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