-------------------

“Kookie, are the rumors true? Are you really going out with Kim Taehyung?”

 

“Yes… it’s all true…”

“H-how could you do this to me?!... I thought… I thought you love me…”

"I never said that I did..."

"B-but... Your actions, your words... You made me feel like you do..."

“I’m sorry, Jimin-hyung… I’m not… I really don't feel the same about you…”

-------------------

Jungkook rose up from his bed, his big, round eyes glazed with tears that were now rolling down his cheeks. He sobbed and sniffed as he buried his face on the palm of his hands. This isn't the tough and playful Jeon Jungkook that everyone deems him to be. But, he doesn't really care now, does he?

It was those dreams again, it kept on flashing back on his mind. Kept on reminding him of how much of an he had been and never letting him move on. All of the memories of the things that happened on that unfateful day had just to keep on haunting him. All of the tears that has been shed, the sorrow, the sadness,  and the pain. They just wouldn't leave him alone.

He harshly wiped away the tears and reached for the picture frame on his bedside table. His eyes watered again as he stare at the two guys in a cuddling position, smiling brightly at each other. It has been months and Jungkook really misses him badly. To the point where he would be really desperate to call him just for Jungkook to hear his high-pitched voice.

Another round of tears flowed down from Jungkook’s eyes as he slumped down and hugged both of his legs on the side of his bed, not caring how pitiful he looks right now. He buried his face on the palms of his hands again as his lips let out a round of agonizing whimpers.

The distraught guy ran his hand through his hair as he sighed exasperatedly, pulling them slightly. It has been months since he did a very horrible thing that destroyed his and his Jimin-hyung’s relationship. Not so 'his' anymore... Big, fat tears continously rolled down his cheeks as the memories that he and the orange-haired guy shared with each other flashed in his mind. All the loud, sweet laughs, all the sweet, happy gestures… He thought that… He thought that all of those were nothing but just mere memories. Memories that will be really easy for him to forget.

Yes, he’d been a big fool. He honestly made a big fool out of himself. “I was so selfish… I just chose something for myself… Without even caring on how Jiminie-hyung would feel…” Jungkook knew that he had hurt the older guy, he had hurt him big time. 
 

One by one, pieces of the puzzle clicked into place, fragments of things that Jimin has said to him in the past, the way how the sweet gestures and act of skinship that Jimin made him feel suddenly all made sense – his relationship with him, his plan to cover up what he feels, why he continued to punish himself and Jimin.

He was crying so hard he couldn’t hardly breathe, let alone speak. Months, weeks, days of guilt and grieving he had never allowed himself to do, just came spilling out in one go.  He remembered how his Jiminie-hyung would always smile at him, those beautiful eyes turning into the shape of crescent when he does, the times when it gets tough all he does is just think of his Jiminie-hyung and all will be okay, like how his Jiminie-hyung cheers him up  and how he can always lean on his Jiminie-hyung whenever he was exhausted, hurt and pained. They were so happy together then… but now, lots of things had changed.

And it was all of his fault. He dug his own deathbed, he covered up his sunshine with his horrible personality. He made a mistake by wanting more than the happiness he felt with him. He realized that happiness always looks small while you hold it in your hands, but when you let it go, and you learn at once how big and precious it is, you’ll surely regret letting it go in the first place.

If only Jungkook knew that the true happiness a person could have is being with the one and only person you truly love, he wouldn’t have had to suffer. It pains him to know how much he hurt Jimin. Like how its so different with Jimin’s little cold glares. The fact lingers that he wants to thank his Jiminie-hyung for crying and staying  with him whenever he’s down and all of the things he had done for him. Jungkook wants to tell Jimin all of that… If only… If only his Jiminie-hyung would listen to him.

Jungkook realized that even when the tears that are hidden from the world flow, when he’s with his lovely, chubby cheek-ed hyung, he’ll have strength to face it. Then they could laugh again… And be happy together.

 But, it might not be that easy… when everything about them already crumpled down the ground… but he swears… he’ll make it up to his Jiminie-hyung, he just wants his happiness back… at any cost. He wants Jimin to be 'his Jiminie-hyung' again.

He’ll try to get him back even though it will cost him his own heart… His heart that was already shattered into pieces…

-------------------

AN: I know I haven't been able to update my other fics since December and then I bounce up and give you this, I'm so sorry for this... TT-TT (I'll start writing/updating again since I'm out from being in a rut )