What if one morning, you crawled reluctantly from the clinging grasp of your bedsheets yet didn’t hear the familiar hum of presences in the home? If your family had simply disappeared without a trace. The indisputable horror that would seep gradually into the marrow of your bones as you silently observed the ghost town that is now your living room. Well, that is exactly what happened to me. The only thing that gave me any inclinations as to where they had gone was a weathered note addressed to me upon the desk. “Dear Sera, please forgive us for what we have done. We never wanted to leave you but it was something that just had to occur in order to keep you safe.  If you despise us, I shall understand yet please attempt to acknowledge it from our perspective, darling. Your mother and I are currently fugitives, if you will, running from some very foul people. We have gone so long with this act and yet it seems our bliss has finally caught up to us. We did consider bringing you along, contemplated it amidst one another for years yet we came to the conclusion that it was much too perilous for you to tag along. It is best that they not know of your existence. That you never know of this pain and we made sure of that. We shall always cherish you. Please do not search in vain. With much love, Mom and Dad.”

“What is this crap!” I screech audibly to myself, encompassed in the putrid silence of my home. “After seventeen years with me, they just leave like that?!” This is much too bizarre. I will not  believe it. I simply can’t. Yeah. Tomorrow they will walk into that door and say it was all a joke, just a silly little prank. Right?

My attempts to console myself were never going to surmount my dwelling fears but it was the only thing that kept me sane at the moment. I tore away from my thoughts and collapsed in a trembling heap upon the floor. A pitiful haze of tears tears tainting my vision and staining my porcelain cheeks as I buried my features in my petite hands. “How could they?” I whispered raggedly. My words broken in wistful shudders of utter betrayal.

How could everything change in one day? Yesterday I was lounging at their side, joking and mulling over simpler things and today they just up and leave me. Though, upon thinking about it. They were oddly nice and serene yesterday, but I brushed it off as them being nicer than usual. I should have known better.

I drag myself gradually to the love seat before a sudden thought trickled into my sullied mind. I sat immobile, gazing silently at the note in my frail hand, reading incessantly until the words became a mingling blur at the back of my mind. Hoping to find something. Anything, in order to dash away my worries. Soothe the rapid succession of my heart rate.

For the next couple of weeks, I remained tucked away in my home just in case my parents decided to return. Yet nothing, no phone call, no letter. Absolutely. Nothing. I was sinking into my own merciless depths of agony, grasping blindly for the mingling safety of a life-raft of hope yet nothing ensued.

The next day, the school finally contacted my home in order to see what had occurred due to all of my abundant absences. I simply informed them that I would return next week. They asked if I was sick and if it was severe. If I needed any help. I pursed my lips and gazed absentmindedly to the door at this, a muffled voice whining over the receiver until I lifted it once more to my ear. I informed them that I was indeed ill and that they should not fret over my well being. The next part killed me a little inside. My hands trembling heavily yet I held firm. They asked if my legal guardians would call them, to discuss my upcoming college applications. I cleared my throat as if not trusting my own voice before telling them that they are currently embarking on a year-long business trip overseas in America and won’t be back until summer of next year. They said they understood and asked if I’m staying alone. They asked if I needed someone. I denied it, saying I was residing with my dear aunt at the moment, just until they return.

Everything was exhausting me these days. The disappearance was still fresh on my mind like a tender wound and the last thing I wanted to consider right now was returning to  school. Yet, I must keep this little occurrence a sworn secret from all of my peers. If they were to find out...Oh, what a disaster.   

I spent my weekend looking arduously through the items my parents had left behind. For some sort of explanation that could tell me why they pursued this abandonment. Through framed pictures of staged smiles and gleaming eyes to silly trinkets they had cherished over the years. It was definitely the last thing I thought that would allow me to get over this. Yet, what could? Besides hearing their familiar voices blessing the chilled kiss of silence. The thought tarnished the smile from my lips and left me to my own bitter thoughts, my fingertips still gliding aimlessly over the laminated faces and blurred silhouettes.

I woke the following morning encompassed with a mingling sense of repugnant determination. I know they stated plainly in the letter that I was not to look for them but I could not ignore the pitious worry that dwelled in the pit of my belly. Even if they ditched me, I still yearned to know of why they had simply left me behind and why-or who- they were fleeing from.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I could no longer see people after my parents absence. My dad was the best neurological scientist for Komer Inc. and my mother was the vice president for Q&Z Corp. The only thing I know of those individual establishments that could connect the two of them to any sort of predicament is that the companies are business partners in some machinery. My parents never could have done something so bad, right? The fact they had fled so swiftly without my company said otherwise. Yet, it has been weeks since they left me all by my lonesome. They could easily be anywhere in the world by now. I grimace at the mundane thought, a breathless sigh escaping my lips in utter defeat. Where was I to start then? The ocean? I could not simply search every kilometer of the globe whenever I wished. Besides, it was obvious they did not wish to be found, no evidence as to their whereabouts left behind for my discretion.

They only ‘lead’ they had truly left was that mused piece of paper, the letter. Maybe they hid something amidst the words that could lead me to them. But, I had whisked over it so many times, nearly memorizing each and every morsel. I couldn’t have missed something. Maybe, just maybe they put something encrypted inside this note, used a special ink or perhaps a codeword I had never caught onto until now. The more I contemplated my options, the more I realized that I had absolutely no idea as to how to figure this out. Maybe there is something else I’m missing. Each feeble consideration and every denied process only brought me further and further into my own negligent sense of abandonment, of desperation. Each ominous click of the clock only easing me further into my fervent search, looking at anything that could lead me to them. Whether an awkward letter or misplaced letter yet the penmanship held true, unfaltering and incessant in its appearance, leaving me with absolutely nothing.

The rest of the day I spent searching meticulously for clues about our establishment but ended up exhausting myself more than I already had been. I might as well get some rest for the night. I wouldn’t be any good to them if I were too sleep deprived to even stand. Besides, I have to go to school tomorrow and I should at least look mildly presentable. With that lingering thought, I adjusted my hunched posture and trudged helplessly up the staircase to the promising sight of my beloved bed. I couldn’t help but feel as if living this life is not worth it anymore, but the drive to rescue-let alone find- my parents managed to stir me from such chiding thoughts. My gaze drifting to the scarlet glare of my alarm as I crawled under the tender embrace of my bedsheets and allowed them to caress my tattered delusions of peace, guiding me aimlessly to a common depravity known as sleep.

Morning came faster than I would have hoped. Leaving me to crawl from my bed, with great difficulty, to the bathroom to take a swift shower. Once done, I put on my authorized attire for school and quickly graced myself with a meager moment to slip on some shoes before dispersing out the door. In case you didn’t know as of yet, I currently go to the school with all of the rich kids in town, Seoul High,the perfect residence for the rich and snobby. If only it had been written like that. I only managed to apply in the school because of my inferred intelligence yet that does not alter the way that  everyone seems to look at me. Always rotund and chiding in their examination. It’s not like I really cared though since I always had the comforting reminder of my parents at the back of my mind. Now I’m not so sure that I shall manage to hold up as before.

I grab my bag with benign reluctance evident upon my features, if only I could stay in this house the rest of my life. My parents would not like that though, I just know it. So I pursued my path along the walkway and sluggishly made my way to the school. I always preferred the option of simply walking since the school was only half a mile away. Though the occasional interruption of rain always seemed to deter me from my plans  but I had my parents to take me in that case. Now I….. just that subtle consideration, no matter how mundane, brought stubborn tears to my eyes.

Before I knew it, I was standing idly at the grand entrance of the school. The majestic white hue of the building seemed to have lost its valor to me, taking on the semblance of a muted cream. My chest aching heavily as I sighed and walked to my rightful class. Making sure to make myself as transparent as possible amidst the halls. The least I need now is for the preps to toy with me.

I opened the door to the classroom expectantly only to find that every set of eyes had shifted to me, a collage of hushed whispers and spat accusations ringing heavily against the still atmosphere. I walked hesitantly to my seat, no doubt picking up upon the mingled conversations along the way as I discovered that some girls had thought I had been deceased. Others thought I couldn’t handle the pressure and dropped out to became a glorified e. Oh, what an imagination. If only they could have used it for something more productive. Though it occurred to me that someone in this school had come up with those assumptions. Yet who?

The saving grace of the bell resounded and everyone quickly shifted to their rightful place amidst the classroom. The professor walked in, and looked straight at me, oblivious shock tainting his calculating gaze, “Sera? Lee Sera? Everyone was saying that you had died. I was not sure what to believe but it seems you are fine.” When he turned back to the board, I could tell he had replaced the staged smile with a grimace. Even the teachers didn’t care what could have happened to me. It seems weird to think that about a month ago, I couldn’t have cared less and yet now it really hurt. My parents did not want me and now I had finally come to accept the fact that the rest of this foul population also despised my presence. Was I that hated?

When Mr. Choi managed to silence the rambunctious peers and started the lesson, I bowed my head in defeat and buried my cherubic features in the pitiful promise of safety nestled in my arms.. I don’t want to be here any longer. Mom, dad, why did you simply leave me here to feel unwanted? I thought that I was your daughter, that I was in the least bit cherished and special to you all but it seems I was horribly wrong. Oh, how mutilated my life had become.