A/N: Sorry, I had this written for so long but I was too lazy to update like always but still I hope you have a nice read! oh and also FEEEELSSSSSZZZZZZZZZ xD

It was time for the final auditions for the members of the new band they were launching. Jinki and Taemin had been trainees for some time now and this was really a great opportunity for both of them and they couldn’t miss it and with that, if they make it to the same band together, there was nothing more they could ask for. They had met after becoming trainees and they’d practice together on the rooftop with each other ever since and so much that they were the only ones who they both relied on. They were best of friends.

Jinki and Taemin were both waiting in the auditions waiting room standing right next to each other, though both of them were auditioning for separate things as for Jinki – he was auctioning for singing and Taemin – he was auditioning for dancing. There wasn’t so much of time left, just after a couple of more people it’d be their turn.

Jinki believed he was standing next to the one person who he was sure could get through this without even trying – Taemin. Even if he couldn’t make it, he was sure that his best friend was gonna make it through this audition. He knew and he believed in his true potential. He was hard working and he had everything those judges would want in a dancer like him.

He turned around to give one last nod of assurance to his best friend but didn’t find him there. He turned around to see everywhere around him but he wasn’t there only the other trainees.

Where did he go in a time like this?

He looked around everywhere to find him but he wasn’t there in the whole room. Where did he go? Did he leave? No, Taemin would never do that, he had to find him. He checked everywhere from the toilet to the basement to every single practise room in the building but there was just no sign of him. He would have tried calling him but unfortunately the younger had no phone.

Jinki sat down in a corner of the waiting room almost breaking down at the sudden panic and shock of his friend leaving him there… alone. Taemin was the only one he knew around here, the only one he trusted. And worse of all why would he? He couldn’t just leave… what about their dreams? Wasn’t he the one who told him that he wanted to be in the same band with him? To dance and sing together in the same band for the rest of their lives? What about that? He couldn’t just leave him alone and crush both of their dreams. He couldn’t.

 He dug his head in his palms, not sure if he could do this anymore. Of course he couldn’t do this without his best friend, without Taemin. He couldn’t – he just couldn’t.

Taemin was his confidence, his only hope and he was the reason why he was doing it. No, singing was his first priority but what was the use of all this without his best friend? But it didn’t make any sense. Taemin also wanted to be a dancer more than anything so even if Taemin would leave Jinki, he wouldn’t abandon his own dream… right? But by doing this – leaving he was abandoning both his and Jinki’s dream.

But Jinki knew Taemin far more than that. He wasn’t a person to leave, he might abandon his own dream but he wouldn’t leave his best friend in a situation like this. He knew him well enough, better than he knew himself. He understood Taemin more than anymore or so he hoped. Taemin wouldn’t leave. Never.

And then it clicked.

Jinki wiped his tears and got up hurrying out of the waiting room. They didn’t have much time and he had to find Taemin. There was still one last hope and he only prayed.

‘Please be there. Please be there.’

He ran up the stairs until he reached the dead end, and slowly pulled the small gate trying to make as less sound as he could. He went in and looked out everywhere on the rooftop – the last place he believed he could find Taemin, but all in vain. There was no one there except for him. There was no Taemin. He wasn’t even here on the rooftop. That last place he thought he’d be. He fell on his knees losing all the remaining hope left inside him. His best friend left him alone. He didn’t want to do anything anymore. He felt alone… the feeling that he’d forgotten after he met Taemin. And it ached because he thought he lost the most precious thing he had, his best friend.

He knew he could breakdown into tears any second now but before he could, he heard silent sobs coming from the corner of the small gate. He got up and slowly approached the corner of the rooftop beside the entrance and there in the shadow sat a small boy, curled up into a circle, hugging his legs, crying to himself. And… there he was. He was right there.

Jinki should’ve felt relieved to find him there but at the sight of the boy, his heart dropped inside his chest. Jinki didn’t take another second to sit next to the boy and pull him into his arms and do the best to comfort him. He wanted to ask him what was wrong all of a sudden but before he could, the boy sobbed into his chest and Jinki rubbed his back in return to calm him down and let him know that he was there for him.

Jinki opened his mouth to speak but the boy spoke before him, “H-Hyung, I-I am s-sorry.” The younger mumbled into the elder’s chest, still sobbing. Only the sight of the small boy was heart breaking… Jinki didn’t know how to make the boy feel better but he just couldn’t see him like that.

“Shh…” The elder rubbed his back trying to overcome the heaviness in his throat, “I-It's okay, don’t worry, I am here with you.” Jinki assured pulling him closer into his embrace.

“I-I can't do this hyung. I-I can-cannot go and a-au-audition. I-I ju-just can't.” The younger told him, clenching into the elder’s T-shirt.

The elder gulped down his saliva, but smiled for the younger, “It’s alright Taemin. I am here and I’d be there when you audition and I will make sure you get through it. I promise. I know you can do this.”

“B-but…” The younger tried to protest but the elder silenced him putting a finger on his lip.

“Didn’t I tell you that I will always have your back protected no matter what?” The elder asked and the younger slowly nodded in return looking up at his hyung as the older wiped his tears. “I meant it.”

“R-Really hyung?” The younger sniffled, wiping his face with his extra long sleeve.

Jinki nodded with a small but an honest assuring smile and pulled the younger tighter into his embrace, “Always.”

Always.

Taemin turned around on his bed changing his sleeping posture, imagining what might have happened years ago during the auditions he left Jinki alone. Jinki had told him what happened when he left. And he couldn’t help but imagine everything, time after time and lately a lot. His hyung crying because of him… he could never imagine that.

Taemin finally sat up on his bed tired of trying too hard to fall asleep and got up, walking out of his room silently closing the door behind him, making sure not to make any noise to wake his roommate or the rest of the members. He wasn’t sleepy, obviously the reason why he was walking around like a zombie at night, but he was tired. He sighed knowing he couldn’t do anything in the middle of the night so he just went to the kitchen to have a glass of water. Well if it was gonna be of any help.

The dorm was dark and silent. The only noise he could hear was the ticking clock in the common room. He looked up at the clock for a second to check the time and didn’t bother to check it again.

Already past one and yet another sleepless night.

He walked towards the kitchen and on the way gazed at the leader’s room door and noticed no light reflecting from below it. Looked like he was sleeping… He switched on the light of the kitchen, but lost the urge to drink any water and pulled the chair of the dining table, taking a seat. He rested his face in his palms and then intertwined his fingers together resting his forehead onto his hands, heaving a long sigh.

Taemin knew that the leader was the one person he had ever trusted the most and the person he was afraid to lose and he had been his best friend since always but… all of a sudden things changed. Things got conflicting. He had always been on his side and he knew he’d always be as his best friend.

But that wasn’t the only time Jinki had been there for him.

Taemin nodded with a smile as the cordi noonas finished his final touch up and told him that he’d thirty minutes before his solo stage. Taemin told them to leave him alone for a moment and as soon as they left, Taemin locked the room behind him.

Since always he wanted to do a solo album and now when he was almost there he doubted himself like always. He knew Jongin was there, Key was there outside, Jonghyun was there too and also Minho called him before but the person he needed next to him the most wasn’t. Jinki wasn’t there and he couldn’t be there.

He was going solo but he felt like running away somewhere far away. He was afraid to go there alone without anyone and not when his best friend wasn’t there. He needed him, he wanted him to tell him that he could do it, and that someone believed in him but there was no one to tell him that.

He found a corner and sat there as tears started rolling down his cheeks. He knew he was spoiling all his makeup but that wasn’t bothering him at that moment. He had started questioning himself. He was a coward. A big coward. He couldn’t do anything by himself. He was the worse. He just couldn’t do it and without Jinki hyung around he knew he was going to fail.

He heard knocking on the door, “Taemin, are you in there?” he heard Jongin’s voice from outside but he didn’t bother to reply. He wasn’t going to open the door and perform. He couldn’t.

“Taem? Open up.”

 “Taemin?!”

He dug his face into his thighs and wrapped his hands around his legs trying to cover up the noise. He was crying and sitting in a corner like a coward. And what was he gonna do? Give up? Yes. He was gonna give up.

Just when he’d decided everything, his phone rang up. He didn’t want to answer but when he saw the caller ID he couldn’t help but pick up.

“Taemin?” The low voice on the other side of the line almost made him panic.

“Hyung! You're not supposed to be speaking!” The maknae almost scolded the leader, reminding that he just had a throat surgery and he was supposed to be resting.

“I know.” The leader whispered. “I saved it up for today.” The tone was enough for Taemin to guess that the leader was smiling on the other end and the maknae couldn’t help but chuckle at the lame joke.

“How come you saved it?” He asked sniffling and he knew he did a big mistake.

“Taemin…” Jinki whispered - his voice turned serious, “Where are you?”

“B-Backstage of course, preparing. I-I am with the cordi noonas getting my makeup done.” Taemin lied, he knew Jinki wasn’t in the best condition and he couldn’t tell him that he was thinking of not performing and that he was still crying like a baby.

“I don’t hear anything expect the…” Jinki stopped because he couldn’t speak too much in one go, and then continued, “…knocking of the door.”

“Hyung…”

“Let me guess…” Jinki started, “You’re sitting in a corner rethinking if you should perform your solo stage or not.”

 “Hyung… I-I really can’t do it.” Taemin now told him the truth. “I am sorry.”

“Yah!” Jinki almost raised his voice and then there was silence for a moment and Taemin guessed that Jinki might have said it louder than his throat could… well handle yet.

“Hyung… you don’t need to talk. It's okay.”

“Shut up. I am the leader alright.” Jinki spoke after a moment. “And this time if you don’t go there and perform, I won't come there and hug you, I will break your lower jaw the very next time I see you.”

“I’m serious here, hyung.”

“Did I ever mention that I was joking?”

“Hyung, you don’t understand.”

“I am the only one who understands.”

Taemin knew he couldn’t argue with that.

Jinki spoke again, “Taemin, it's your solo, it's something that you always wanted.” Jinki paused. “You always said that people doubted you… and now is the time to show everyone what you can do. I know you can do it. I believe in you. I always have and I always will.”

Taemin slowly cried on the other side of the line, trying his best not to make a single noise. “B-But, the problem is… I am not sure if I can do this.”

“That’s exactly what the problem is… didn’t you tell me you wanted people to see how talented the maknae of SHINee is? You wanted people to notice what your true potential is?”

“No hyung.”

“Don’t lie, you did.” Jinki continued, “But how can you expect them to believe in you if can't believe in yourself?”

“I-I am afraid hyung, afraid that I will fail all those expectations, fail the hyungs and above all fail you.”

“You won't—”

“I will, hyung.”

“I am in no condition to negotiate, Taemin.” Jinki honestly answered, “Never have you once failed me or the other members… I know you better than anyone. I know what you're capable of doing.” Jinki paused and then started again, “I know Taemin I might not be there with you right now but I am always there for you and you know that. Always.”

There was a pause, a long one. Jinki could only hear a few sniffles from the other side.

“You do know you're ruining all of your makeup… don’t you?” Jinki asked breaking the silence and Taemin chuckled once, “Shut up! You are better off silent.”

Taemin didn’t know why but he somehow felt that he could do this now. Jinki always told him that he was always there for him, and yes he knew that but somehow he never felt tired of hearing it all over again.

“You know I have my TV on in front of me and I am gonna see you in like twenty minutes… So I think you should better fix your makeup and my throat hurts so I am gonna… hang up now. Plus you already have the president of your fan club out there… I know you can do this.”

Taemin giggled, “Jonghyun hyung? I really can’t believe he posted that online...aish.”

Before Jinki could reply, both of them were interrupted by the voice outside the door.

“Taemin? What are you doing? Open the door!” He again heard Kai shouting from outside the door.

“And please open that door.” Jinki reminded him and he nodded.

“Wait, I just need a moment!” Taemin shouted back, removing the phone a bit far and then again brought it near, “Hyung... I wanted to tell you….” Taemin paused but the other line was more silent than usual, and realised that the call was already disconnected, and he sighed. “…Thanks.”

He got up and fixed his makeup and after so many years in the spotlight he knew how to do that well and good and then finally opened the door.

“What the hell have you been doing inside?”

“I—”

Kai broke in, “Wait, have you been crying?”

“Of course not…” Taemin lied in front of his friend’s face but the other was not stupid, “You know what? Never cry with your makeup on, they speak volumes.”

Taemin bit his lip, looked like he overestimated his makeup skills.

“Are you okay though?” His friend asked and he nodded in return, “Yeah, I am fine now. Don’t worry. It's just pre-performance pressure.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Now would you mind calling someone to fix my makeup?”

That was the time during his first solo.

Jinki had told him a million times and still wasn’t tired of saying it again if Taemin wanted to hear it or if the leader thought the maknae doubted. But the maknae never doubted and never did he feel strange when the leader told him that but lately, this feeling.

As far as Taemin knew, the leader had never failed to share anything that he’d ever felt for the younger he had been a honest friend and the maknae thought he was doing the same in return but… again the feeling kicks in.

What had the leader not done for him?

If it wasn’t for him, he wouldn’t have made it to the band… like ever. It was all because of Jinki. Sometimes he just thought what he’d do without him on his side. He had countless of such moments when the leader had been his confidence, and he had selflessly helped him without thinking about anything else except for his best friend but not only that, he had been a great leader too and Taemin just couldn’t understand how he could manage everything so perfectly without leaving anything behind making sure everything fits into the right place. Just how in the world?

Taemin knew Jinki had been different for him ever since he met him, someone who understood him, never judged him, took care of him, had his back  protected and most of all believed in him.

 Jinki was the one to take away his nightmares when he’d had them he was the one to—

Taemin turned around when he heard footsteps approaching his direction and noticed a lazy dorky dubu yawning as he entered the kitchen. Dammit. How come his luck always runs out in situation like this?

“Taemin? You're up?” Jinki asked, and the person who looked like a sleepy bunny just a second ago now looked fully aware and sober though it wasn’t for any reason. It was quite rare to see the maknae sitting in the dorm alone at night because whenever he couldn’t sleep he’d end up in the leader’s room and wouldn’t bother if the leader was sleeping, he’d just wake him up in the middle of the night and watch movie or do something stupid with the leader for the rest of the night.

Taemin sighed and then looked up, not that he could do anything now, “Yeah hyung couldn’t sleep. What about you?”

“I woke up and I needed a glass of water… but what’s up with you?” Jinki asked approaching the maknae.

Taemin just shrugged, “Nothing you know just this and that.”

The leader sighed at younger giving him a hint that the excuse was not well enough. Jinki walked closer and pulled the chair next to the maknae and sat down beside him knowing the reason that was not letting the younger sleep at night might be big enough. “You know you could’ve come to my room. We could’ve watched a movie or play a game or anything…” Jinki suggested.

“I thought so but you were sleeping and I didn’t want to bother you in the middle of the night.” Taemin frankly lied, even if he’d seen the light of the elder’s room on, he wouldn’t have bothered him today. He just wanted to be alone.

Jinki shook his head, this time a hundred percent sure that the maknae was having trouble with something. I mean the maknae could have come up with a far better excuse than that. ‘Didn’t want to bother you in the middle of the night’ what was that really? He always bothered him in the middle of the night so what? Was he suddenly feeling guilty today? The leader well and good knew that that wasn’t the case.

The leader pulled the chair closer to the younger’s, putting one of his arms around his shoulder and held his hand from the other which was on the table, “Taemin you know you can tell me.”

For a second, Taemin didn’t really notice what the leader told him, he froze because the feeling kicked inside him again. His heart skipped a beat but then raced like anything. It was the same strange feeling that he’d been feeling around the leader lately. How come Jinki could sit next to him and comfort him without a problem? Taemin was having trouble just sitting so close to him right now. But yet he didn’t want the elder to leave, he liked – no scratch that – he loved this strange feeling when he was next to him. The weird sensation inside his chest was new and strange but even so it was really wonderful and he was afraid he knew what that was.

But that made him really doubtful, how on earth could he sit so close to Taemin and yet have no second feelings for him? How come Jinki was so comfortable around him? Why was he?

“Taemin…”

“Hyung, I am just nervous about my comeback.” Taemin admitted truthfully, because that was also one of the reasons why was he not able to sleep… or so he believed.

“About that…” Jinki smiled, “Last time I wasn’t there with you but this time, I will be there so don’t be. I am always there with you. You know that right?”

And… The feeling again.

“Yeah…” Taemin nodded.

Jinki smiled as he removed his arms from around the younger’s shoulder and asked, “So would you like to watch a movie or—”

“Hyung…” The maknae interrupted wrapping his arms around the leader and dug his head into his shirt not sure what he was doing himself but the closeness made him feel good, relaxed. “Thank you.”

The leader for the first time in his life was taken off-guard from the sudden affection from his maknae. He never did anything that.

The maknae gulped trying to hide his overwhelming emotions, “N-Now that I think I never really thanked you.”

“F-For what?” The leader asked, still startled but concerned now. All of this was new to him. He never saw this side of the maknae, this sudden outburst of affection.

“For everything. Hell, I don’t even know where to start from…” Taemin told him, feeling like a pabo. “Like… for always being there with me.”

Something was really wrong. The leader knew it was, Taemin never talked like that and damn he was supposed to be the Satan of the band and all of a sudden hearing all these words from his mouth was weird… really weird and he felt like something was terribly wrong and it worried him. The leader pulled away looking at the maknae in the eyes. “Taemin please tell me what’s wrong? Are you okay? Anything happened?”

“Everything is fine hyung…” The maknae told him without hesitating as if it was the truth.

Okay… weirder.

Taemin noticed the concern in the elder’s eyes. He really cared for him and he doubted that anyone else cared for him as much as he did. He knew there was no one else who did… not as much as him. But why didn’t Taemin ever notice his love for him before? And how perfect he looked? Taemin just stared at the leader without even blinking which left the leader confused. They were so close to each other now, but still not close enough. Not for Taemin. He dared to raise his hand to cup the elder’s cheek, forgetting that he was Onew - the leader of SHINee. All he saw right now was his best friend, his hyung, Jinki in front of him. The person - he was afraid to admit - he had fallen in love with.

He knew what those feelings meant starting from the very first day. He was just too scared to acknowledge what they really were. But now that he was so close to him, it really didn’t matter the only thing that he really wanted right now was to kiss his best friend without worrying about the consequences.

And so he did. He didn’t care if his hyung hated him for that he just couldn’t let this perfect opportunity slip from his hands. He closed his eyes and leaned closer, locking his lips with his hyung and strangely, it didn’t feel strange. Actually, it was complete contrary. But he had been waiting for the worse. He knew the kiss would come as a shock to the elder and then he waited for the elder to push him away and you know what the strangest thing was? He didn’t. He didn’t push him away, and when Taemin almost believed that the leader would just start kissing him back any second now, all hell broke loose aka Kim Jonghyun happened.

“D-Don’t mind me.” Jonghyun stood there with his jaw dropped open and Taemin pulled away faster than the speed of a bullet and Jinki sat there frozen on his chair his lips slightly parted.

 “D-Don’t-Don’t stop because of me.” Jonghyun repeated when the atmosphere turned awkward, “I’m-I’m just sle-sleepwalking. I-I swear I won't remember anything till morning. Y-You both continue. I was never here. Nope.” Jonghyun finished and ran back to his room leaving the two alone.

Taemin bit his lip in embarrassment. Why did this have to happen in this situation? He really wanted to curse Jonghyun right now. Wait… curse? He wanted to kill him. When he was just a second away in knowing that the leader liked him back? Ugh. He hated Jonghyun. Seriously. But what worried him the most was, what the hell would he explain Jinki about the kiss? He couldn’t just tell him that he kissed him because he was bored. That’d be too stupid. But he couldn’t tell him the truth either. Ugh. This didn’t have to go like this. He ruined everything.

“T-Taemin…?” Jinki had to regain his senses right then before he could run away. Great.

“Hyung, I-uh, I’m sleepy.” The maknae managed to fake a yawn, “Good night.”

Taemin decided if Jinki started doing further investigation about the kiss he’d just run away from the dorm. But fortunately, Jinki just nodded. “O-Oh. Good night.”

Taemin walked back to his room not believing his luck. Jinki didn’t ask a single question about the kiss… too weird. Way too weird. Taemin doubted if it was the silence before the storm. Jinki was not going to kick him out of the dorm the next morning, right?

He walked inside his room and without bothering to switch on the light, he walked to his bed when his roommate interrupted him, “Taemin? Is that you? Why are you here?”

Here? What did he mean by that? Did he expect him to sleep in the elder’s room??

“Shut up, hyung. Just sleep already.” Taemin replied and he was sure he sounded rude but what the puppy did back there, he deserved it. “I will also try to…”

Taemin got into his bed trying to sleep and if not then he had the rest of the night to think why he kissed Jinki. Wait he knew why. He could think why couldn’t he help himself but kiss Jinki. No wait, he knew the answer to this too. He could think about why did he kiss him right then… arrgh dammit he knew this too! And all of it was the same really. He’d just… he’d just think how the hell did he fall for his hyung. Well now that was something worth giving a thought to.

While on the other side, Jinki lay on his bed staring his ceiling but not really staring at it. He his lip, still feeling the sensation of the latter’s lips on his own.

Taemin just kissed him… he really just kissed him.

But Taemin didn’t want to talk about it… or so the way he excused himself right now… maybe Jinki wasn’t ready to talk to him about it either. But he’d try… maybe tomorrow. Well they had a day off.

~~~~~~~~

So the maknae was officially ignoring Jinki.

Whenever Jinki would try to go up to him and talk to him, the maknae would turn away and start talking to another member. And when finally Jinki got a hold of him, he asked him if he’d like to go out and have lunch with him, Jinki remember he mentioned meat as lunch but the maknae bluntly denied saying that he had to go and practise.

It was okay until then but later Jinki spotted him in a café near their dorm at the time when he was ‘supposed’ to be practising. And when he went up to him and asked him what he’d been doing, the maknae said he was meeting up with Ravi. How strange because as far as Jinki knew Ravi wasn’t in Korea at the moment and when he reminded the maknae, the maknae just laughed saying that he forgot and he had to actually meet up with Kai and then ran off the café.

This boy was seriously...

Jinki decided that he’d just talk to him later at the dorm maybe alone but then he urgently got a call from his director for an urgent shoot for his new drama so he thought he’d just distracted himself in the meanwhile.

~~~~~~~~

“Taemin?” Kai was shocked to see his best friend at his dorm door without a word that he’d be meeting up with him.

“Yeah. Are you free?” Taemin asked getting inside without an invitation. Kai turned around closing the door behind him as he led him to his room.

“Yeah I am but how come you're here without a word?” Jongin asked him and Taemin only sighed in return talking a seat on the bed.

“Is everything alright?” Kai asked, a frown covering his forehead.

Taemin shook his head, “No… would you mind if I stay the night?”

“What? Uhm yeah of course not. You can… but, what’s wrong? Did you have a fight with the hyungs or something?”

“Yeah. I wish.” Taemin said, “But worse actually.”

“Worse? What did you do?”

“I…”

“You?”

“I… kissed Jinki hyung…”

Kai nodded, “Okay… and?”

Taemin blinked twice, “And?” Taemin repeated, shocked to see that his friend was taking this so lightly. “I kissed him!”

Jongin asked again with a confused face. “S-So what?”

Taemin jaw dropped open, “I-I kissed him and I'm almost going crazy here and you're so calm as if it's nothing!”

“Yeah… I mean, why? What game were you playing this time? Truth or dare or—”

“We were not playing any game! I freaking kissed him on his lips because I wanted to… I don’t even know what happened to me then… I kissed him because I-I like him…” SHINee’s maknae almost shouted at the younger.

Kai stared at his friend for some time, and then blinked a couple of times and opened his mouth to speak but then closed his mouth when he couldn’t come up with anything.

“You…” He finally spoke.

“Like him and… kissed him, yes.” Taemin finished it for the other. “Last night.”

“You mean like… like like?”

“Yes.” Taemin answered, tired of explaining it to the other.

Kai started laughing, “What really happened??”

“We were talking and… and screw that.” Taemin scoffed, “Because you know what? I have a bigger problem than that right now. Since morning I have been ignoring him like hell just so I don’t have to answer to him why I kissed him.”

“No no no no no, Tell me!” Kai insisted still trying his best not to laugh. “I really wanna know that.”

“Stop laughing or I'm gonna spoil your oh so pretty face.” Taemin hissed.

“Alright alright,” Kai nodded pressing his lips to contain his smile, “But seriously w-what happened?”

Taemin sighed, “It was last night. I couldn’t sleep so I was just sitting in the kitchen… thinking—”

“Thin-king…?” Kai interrupted him in the middle, hinting him what he guessed Taemin might have had been thinking and Taemin made a disgusted face quickly catching up the hint, “NO. Not that! I was just thinking not fascinating you ert!”

The younger giggled, “Okay okay, you said you liked him so well that’s not really odd to fascinate… you know….” Jongin shut his mouth when he earned a death glare from the elder, “Um, anyway, continue.”

“As I was saying, I was thinking,” Taemin pressed on the word just to remind his friend that he wasn’t doing anything that he was framing. “and then Jinki hyung came up to drink some water and then we talked… he guessed something was wrong with me because I was sitting alone in the middle of the night and we talked and there were these feelings… and emotions… and… I kissed him.”

“And you just… kissed him?” Jongin asked, trying his best not to laugh at the cute faces Taemin made during the story.

“Yes.” Taemin bluntly replied now irritated by the younger’s reactions.

“That’s it?” Kai asked and Taemin shook his head.

“Yes. No wait. I was like, a second away from knowing if he liked me back… I just thought he was about to kiss me back…”

“But? There’s a big but… ain't there?”

Taemin nodded rolling his eyes, “But Jonghyun hyung showed up and he was like ‘don’t mind me I am just sleepwalking! I swear I won't remember anything by morning!’ I seriously felt like snapping his neck then.”

“No. No, he didn’t say that.” That was it; it was more than Jongin could take… he burst out laughing.

“He totally did.” Taemin nodded with the most serious face ever.

“And I was thinking the way you’ve been acting since you walked in is funny but this beats that, it's so-damn-hilarious.” Kai told the other still laughing his off, wiping a few tears from his eyes.

“I am not acting funny! I am serious here!” Taemin almost shouted at the other.

“Oh, you have no idea.” Kai laughed but soon calmed down, “Alright, what happened next?”

“This morning I’d been ignoring him and you know I told him I had to practise but I was too lazy to go to SM, so I passed my time around in a café next to our dorm, where of course, hyung found me and asked me what I was doing there and I told him I was supposed to be meeting up with Ravi.”

“But Ravi’s not—” Kai started, but Taemin broke in, “Exactly, but I didn’t remember until hyung reminded me that himself and I ended up making the biggest fool out of myself.”

“So,” The younger cleared his throat in order not to laugh, “What did you do?”

“Well, I laughed like an idiot and told him, ‘oh. did I say Ravi? I meant Kai’ and ran here.”

Kai started laughing again and Taemin just rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah, just laugh at me… you ungrateful bastard.”

“Sorry Taem, but it's hilarious.” Kai took a deep breath and relaxed, “Okay. But I don’t think he might have bought that…”

“Bought that? It just couldn’t be more obvious that I was ignoring him.”

“But on a serious note,” Jongin started, and Taemin nodded at his friend saying, “Well at last!”

Jongin shrugged and continued, “Do you think he likes you too?”

“I don’t know… I don’t even know if he’s into boys.” Taemin replied without even thinking, but then thought about the kiss again. The same feeling of his lips on his hyung’s was great and he just wanted to do that again. “But when we kissed, um, I did feel a thing but I am not sure.”

Kai nodded collecting the information, “You are closest to him. Didn’t you ever talk about your future girlfriends or marriage or anything? I mean you’ve been friends since years. There might have been a talk…”

Taemin bit his lip, trying to remember such a moment, “Not that I remember. We used to talk about that in trainee days you know if we’d be in the same band we’d do this we’d do that.” Taemin said smiling at the sweet memory, “Now when we talk about our future, it’s still mostly about SHINee and making new songs and we talked about a sub-unit once well we’re still giving it a thought and going on a vacation together I mean just him and me or visiting places that we haven’t or going out on weekends, drinking, spending time with the members…” Taemin smiled again as if he loved those moments with him, “but marriage… never.”

 “Oh,” Taemin spoke again, suddenly remembering something, “Once we were watching this movie and he mentioned something about when we’d be ninety or ninety five,” Taemin paused to giggle at that, “well if we lived that much… he hoped that we’d still visit each other’s places and sit on the porch on our rocking chairs and drink and sing together.”

“Ohkay…” Kai nodded, “Jinki hyung is really farsighted person. Anyway, so basically, you mean your future plans only include you and him…”

“I guess?” Taemin pouted, “But maybe because such a topic never really came up?”

Kai ignored the question, “Taemin but I still don’t get why you are ignoring him…”

Taemin made a face. “Ain't that obvious? If I talk to him, I’d have to tell him about the kiss, if I tell him about the kiss, I’d have to tell him that I like him and if I tell him that I like him and he doesn’t then it’ll spoil our friendship and I can't make things awkward between us and I don’t wanna lose him… even as a friend.”

“He’s your best friend. You won't lose him.” Kai told him. “Plus, what’s the use of crying over spilled milk? You already kissed him. Someday or another… you’d have to face that.”

“I feel so stupid.” Taemin cried, burying his face in his palms.

Kai sat next to him and put his hand on his shoulder, “Taemin, what I think is, you should talk to him and I really suggest you to talk to him… well maybe he does like you back.”

“What-What if he doesn’t?” The elder asked, turning to face his friend.

“Well,” Jongin shrugged and chuckled, “You’d still have my shoulder to cry on.”

Taemin scoffed, “You know, that doesn’t make me feel any better.”

~~~~~~~~

Jinki unlocked the door and noticed that all the lights were already out. Well, he should have guessed. It was already past midnight. It was late. It was too late. Jinki knew he shouldn’t have said yes to the dinner and go out with his co-workers from the drama. He should have known that it’d be too late when he’d return. Taemin might be already sleeping… not that he was already ignoring him.

He walked inside and noticed that the TV in the common room was still on, and someone was still watching it. It was Taemin. Looked like he’d been watching TV and he fell asleep there.

Jinki smiled, looking at his little angel sleeping. For a second, he felt like carrying him to his bedroom but the he thought Taemin would be startled when he’d wake up and after what Jonghyun saw yesterday he was certainly not gonna go drop him to his room. He was not ready to face the composer… well at least yet. He took off the jacket he was wearing and covered the younger with it. Was it just him or really the pretty innocent face was alluring him again?

The elder sat down on the couch next to the maknae and put his hand on the younger’s hair, ruffling it slowly. He took a deep breath and his lips curved into a smile. He gulped and slowly placed a kiss on the younger’s forehead.

He got up before he’d end up sitting there and staring at the younger for the rest of the night. His mind was messed up. He needed a drink… yeah that might probably help him. He went back to the kitchen and took out a beer bottle from the refrigerator and walked back to his room but before he could he head a barely audible, “Hyung?”

He turned around and noticed the younger yawning, “You’re back?”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” The leader told him, scratching his head.

“No, I didn’t want to sleep anyway, hyungs told me you were out for shooting and I just fell asleep waiting—” Taemin stopped before he could tell him that he fell asleep waiting for him and corrected himself, “watching that boring show…”

Taemin finished up his explanation and before the leader could reply or say anything, the younger noticed the beer bottle in the elder’s hand, “Are you going to drink?” he asked, “Alone?”

Taemin frowned nibbling on his lips. Jinki never drank alone and neither did he drink with others. He rarely drank. And whenever he did, the only person he drank with was him. Taemin felt bad knowing that Jinki was gonna drink, he actually hated the fact ‘cause whenever he did, he’d be sad. And maybe this time Taemin knew the reason was him.

“I’ll join you!” Taemin responded quickly, “I’ll bring a bottle for me too!”

And even before the elder could blink, the younger jumped up the couch and ran up to the kitchen and grabbed himself and bottle and was back in a flash with a bottle in his hand.

The elder couldn’t even open his mouth and tell him that this wasn’t necessary. Until this evening, the younger was ignoring him and now all of a sudden he looked so energetic and back to normal? What was wrong with him? What about the kiss? And everything that happened yesterday?  Why’d the younger do it? Wasn’t that the reason why he was ignoring him?? Was it a prank or was this all serious? Jinki was confused than ever.

Before the leader could recover from his thoughts, he was being pushed into his own bedroom by the maknae. Seriously, even though he was the one closest to the maknae, he himself couldn’t read him at times like these. And apparently, now the maknae was inviting him to come and sit on his own bed. So now should he guess that the maknae was ready to talk what happened yesterday or just forget about it completely?

Jinki took a seat next to the maknae on the bed.

“Hyung?” the maknae asked, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” The leader nodded taking a sip from his bottle, “What’d happen to me?”

“Nothing… I…” The maknae bit his lip looking down, rolling the bottle between his palms, “You just seem a bit… off.”

 “I thought you’d know the reason… even before me.” Jinki smiled, and Taemin looked up to face the leader. The smile on the elder’s face wasn’t really a happy one. He wasn’t sure what that really was. He could suddenly see through a series of emotions hidden behind that one smile… and pain was one of them but also a relief.

 “Hyung…” Taemin wasn’t sure what else to say, he’d never noticed certain things in his hyung that he was finally noticing today. The leader did care for him more than anything but he failed to notice the things hidden behind the hug he’d give him or the smile when he’d look at him, or the concern he’d show him, or when he’d scold him… so much was hidden behind them. All this time when his hyung was so happy with him all the time he never even imagined how bad he had been hurting on the inside. How many feelings he was been hiding just waiting for him to notice them… Why didn’t he notice those before? He never told him but he made them just so obvious was this just maknae not to notice it? Where was he? Was he that oblivious?

His eyes screamed so much he just was never realised.

Taemin gulped still looking at the leader and Jinki snickered, “But apparently Taemin, I guess you don’t know me as well as I know you.”

Taemin shivered when he felt the elder’s hand reached his waist slightly touching his disposed bare skin. Taemin told him, putting away the bottle on the nightstand like the older. Not really surprised by the leader’s actions anymore. He should have known that he was the stupid one in this relationship but he knew that his hyung taking the first step was bliss to him. “Then you should have known… that I am not exactly smart.”

Jinki lips curved into another smile as he pulled him closer with a jerk and Taemin bit his lip a little when the elder’s face was close to his like never before, his heart started racing and this time all of his body was flooding with same feeling that he’d been feeling lately.

“I should have guessed, eh?” The elder wrapped the younger’s neck, leaning closer and capturing the younger’s lips in his own and kissed him the most lovable and the passionate kiss ever… not hiding his feelings anymore, letting it all out. Telling him how he felt for him, all without any words but this simple kiss. How much he wanted to treasure him and protect him, be with him.

Their lips parted leaving the both of them breathless. Taemin didn’t need any words to know, all he wanted was the leader to be close to him like that. Taemin got up on the bed kneeling down and rested his forehead on the elder’s, panting from the last kiss. He wrapped his arms around the leader’s neck and captured his lips once more, pulling him into a deeper kiss this time. The leader fell down on his back on the bed, the maknae above him as he crossed his arms around the latter’s waist kissing him back with as much passion.

Taemin panted getting aroused even more,  gasping as the elder’s warm hands slid inside his shirt, and his heavy breath hitting all over his face. It was making him insane - out of the world insane and it was making him see stars. His hyung was all of his consciousness with his kisses, as if he didn’t care anything else anymore… just him and Jinki mattered now.

Taemin bended over and their velvety lips met in the melting heat until their tongues embraced each other, dancing together. Jinki took over the role - rolling over on the top of the maknae, frantically holding him closer. The younger only shivered in his embrace though not even a teeny tiny bit scared – rather, excited. They finally broke out for air, and Taemin, still flustered in the heat of the moment didn’t know how to respond. But Jinki was faster.

 “J-Jinki…” A little gasp left the younger’s lips, in a y breath as he felt a light swirl around his erect . Before Taemin could realise what was going, he found himself squirming back in pleasure to Jinki’s soft kisses that he placed all over his  neck until his collarbone while Jinki’s hands found his way down the younger’s chest ing the only thin shirt that he wore. Jinki his way up and down his chest and abdomen and loving fragile kisses being planted all over his milky white skin, red marks appearing and disappearing just as quickly.

They never imagined being this close to each other and now that they finally were they were not gonna let each other go.

~~~~~~~~

The next morning the couple sat on the breakfast table with the rest of the members. It was a normal morning and Taemin on all sorts was trying to avoid everyone’s eyes. Even though whatever happened last night, was perfect but it was embarrassing! He woke up Jinki’s bed startled and Jinki calmed him down pulling him into his embrace telling him that everything was perfect now, although it was and he felt peaceful in his arms but like Kai told him, he couldn’t even tell him how he felt towards him… great!! Like they had all the things and they did every single thing without even telling each other how they felt. So that was where their relation had reached.

Jinki cleared his throat and Taemin was distracted from his thoughts and everyone looked at him.

“I wanted to tell you something.” Jinki stated.

“What?” Key and Minho asked together and Jonghyun only stared at him getting a hint of what the leader might be saying.

“Me and uh Taemin…” Jinki was about to say it and Taemin almost panicked. They never had that conversation! Hyung couldn’t just spit it out in front of the members like that. No! He hit the leader’s foot under the table and the leader almost groaned but everyone ignored him because Jonghyun said, “Yeah they both are together now.” Jonghyun told everyone and Taemin almost chocked into his food not really expecting that from him out of the blue. Taemin turned beet red.

All the members stared at Jonghyun sometime while Taemin calmed himself down, “H-He doesn’t means together together but some-something else!” He thought only Jinki was trouble but he should have guessed that it wasn’t healthy for Jonghyun to see them kissing.

 “But weren't you two—” Jonghyun protested then, but Taemin covered it up shoving a big piece of kimchi inside him mouth.

“Something else, what?” Minho cocked an eyebrow.

Key narrowed his eyes and made a confused face, “Wait, I'm confused what do you mean Jonghyun? And Taemin why the hell are you acting like that?”

Before Jinki could speak, Taemin did, “Hyung just says anything! We aren't—” but Jinki broke him off in the middle, “We are together and like together together as in dating together.”

Taemin bit his lip turning red like a tomato. He was right. Things never went the way he wanted them to. While on the other hand, the two rappers started at each other with confused faces and then looked back at the couple.

“Dating?” Key asked with a blank expression on his face.

Minho asked, “And… when did you started dating?”

Jinki blinked once not sure why were two going into the details, “Yesterday.” He answered hoping the two wouldn’t ask anything else.

‘Oh great.’ Taemin thought to himself. ‘Why don’t you just give them all the details?’

“Yesterday?” Key and Minho looked at each other for a second and then burst out laughing.

 “What do the two of you think? We are idiots?” Minho asked and the couple stared at the two with confused faces.

“What do you mean you weren't before?” Key asked, still laughing as if it was the joke of his life. “Like it was obvious the day the five of us met…”

“Like… we were waiting since we don’t even know for you guys to tell us.” Minho told them, “We almost gave up on the hope that you’d ever and now you say it.”

“WAIT!” Jonghyun interrupted as his chopsticks fell from his hands, “They had been dating that long?? Was I only one who didn’t know?”

“Well duh.” Key replied.

Jonghyun mouth hung open, “I mean I-I did, but I didn’t!”

“Wait… I don’t get it.” Taemin broke in, “What do you mean it wasn’t obvious the day the five of us met?”

 “I mean,” Key decided to clear it up for the maknae, “That you’ve had been dating each other before we five of us met… I don’t know before trainee days or even before that. Gosh… it was so obvious.”

Taemin almost choked on the air this time and Jinki could only give the rappers a blank look. It wasn’t that obvious that Jinki liked him since then was it??

“Of course it was obvious.” Minho joined in and Jinki almost thought that Minho read his mind for a fraction of second.

“It was!!!” Jonghyun cried in the middle. “But you could have just told me!! How come you both didn’t tell me about it??”

“And they say they started dating yesterday. Buahahaha!!!” Key couldn’t help but laugh again completely ignoring Jonghyun. “The joke of the century. Aigoo this is so hilarious… why can't I post this on Instagram?” Key got up wiping a few tears of amusement from his eyes and walked towards his room.

“Minho…” Jonghyun looked at Minho now, “You knew too? How could you not tell me? I have always getting dreams about the two of them. Aigoooo… YAH. I started shipping them since the day before yesterday!!” Jonghyun pulled his hair with his fingers crying out in tears.

Minho blinked a couple of times like the leader and the maknae at the composer and made a face “I… uh need to go…” and left the table.

“I-I will go ask Key…” Jonghyun let out an ugly sob and left the table.

Jinki cleared his throat, and concentrated on his meal. But he couldn’t help because the maknae just looked at him an eye piercing gaze and Jinki felt like it was digging holes into his skin.

“What?” Jinki finally asked acting complete innocent.

“Nothing!” Taemin snapped and picked up the glass of water and said, “They think that we have had been dating since trainee days! When did we even start dating?? Should I just drown myself in this?”

Jinki just gave him a cute smile, “Ani… I have something better for that.” and got over to give him a small peck on his lip which left the younger frozen in his place and the leader left the kitchen.

~~~~~~~~

The same evening Taemin was lazing around in his hyung’s room once again, his head resting on the leader’s stomach as he was doing something in his phone. He kept his phone aside and then pouted turning around facing the elder, “How come thought we had been dating before debut… aish.”

Taemin only heard Jinki’s giggle.

“Yah!”

“Well it doesn’t matter… since we are now.”

“Yeah… that’s true.” Taemin nodded.

Jinki smirked, “It's means that we are dating. You just admitted that we are dating.”

“W-We aren't.” Taemin blushed not believing that he fell for this cheap little trick. Though, he was more than happy to be finally dating the leader on the other way the leader was having the laugh of his life.

“Hyung, since when?” Taemin asked the leader.

Jinki got up and rested his face on his palm as he kissed the small boy’s forehead.

 “The time on the rooftop…”

Since the ten nine years he had been hiding his feelings for the younger just afraid to spoil his friendship with him. He fell for him right at the moment when he found him on the rooftop. He thought he’d found a million dollars though when he saw the little fragile kid sitting alone crying to himself… it broke his heart and he knew he was the one precious thing he could never lose and he needed to protect.

Taemin felt stupid for not being able to notice it before… that’s so long… how come he didn’t know… he looked into the elder’s intense eyes.

“I love you, hyung.”

“I love you too, Taemin.”