I came back down stairs the second morning and there was every single sign of misery and distress on my face. I only looked at my mother as I stopped by the kitchen, my father and grandmother sat down at the table, they started on breakfast and they halted their speech once the person on that topic showed up in front of them. The others were gone.

‘’Jessica…’’

It’s been a long time since anyone in this house ever called me by my full name and I knew why my mother did it, she was trying to show me just how regretful she was. Her eyes fluttered at me and she stepped in this way as she laid the hand towel on the table.

I shook my head at her.

‘’Whatever it is…I don’t want to hear it.’’

I had changed my attire for school, an all-black outfit suited since the woman that gave birth to me had sold my soul and now I was dead, it was time to mourn for my own funeral life ahead of me.

She could not come up with a lie to cover up for her inhumane and heartless deal she made with that man just to get herself out of the hole her company dug for her. I don’t even think that she sees this thing as a big deal when she was married to a man by a similar circumstance; it worked out for her so she didn’t worry about it, her marriage was good. I thought it was all going to change when she tried to push me closer to Sehun for all of these years but I guess she just went back to square one.

I came forward and placed my bag on the table, I was immersed in anger and she knew of it, she stood in her place and waited for me to speak.

‘’I hope you and dad and the rest of you are happy now.’’

I looked at them all in turn and all I had was silence and blank faces in return. How dirty was this family to me? Even Sehun was more loyal to me and we all knew just how much of a corrupt being he was.

‘’I have no one else to run to, just so you know. I can’t run away as I have no one else that loves me like they’re supposed to, I can’t wait for the time where I’ll get married and get out of here to live with another person that doesn’t love me. It’s what I deserve, right mother? It all seems to run in this family.’’

I looked back at her and by the look of her face; there was a knot in . I also got to look at the other person in the room that I received family traits from, my grandmother and she too didn’t look happy, I mean, she was the one hoping I would break all of this cycle and guess what’s going to happen; not that. It was surprising how she never even said anything to be against this entire marriage.

‘’I’m going school, another place where there’s no love. It might be the last year but I think it would be my last chance to live the rest of the life that I have before I end up in somebody else’s claws.’’

I grabbed my bag back and walked away from that cold weather and landed in the hot spurring sun just shining on my front door. I wasn’t going to sit down at the same table as those traitors, even if they were my family after all of this time I knew it all too well; if they really loved me it wouldn’t have come down to this. I’ve lost everything I had just like that.

I wasn’t like the other cousins I had, everyone my age in my family had a straight path outlined ahead of them; I had the freedom and a wild heart to pursue my own ideas and dreams and I guess they all thought to straighten my life up for me, in conclusion, I never had a choice. I had to follow the steps of my ancestors to do everybody else’s needs proud, but what about me?

Did I not have a chance to live a life where I ended up living with a person I loved, have whatever job I wanted and kids whenever the time was right? What was I supposed to do now? Become that Yoongi guy’s item and start a family and have it all repeat itself once more?

I huffed as I walked to school and whether I cared or not that I haven’t been eating right; I really wished it all faded to black for me. I wanted to be done.

As I strolled in through those school gates, the game of hide and seek was over and now I was one of those goldfish drying in the sun and desperately flopping in the middle of the desert for water to miraculously appear. I was on the edge of nothing and wanted nothing but peace, no more wars and no more games.

Just on that thought a sandstorm stopped by.

Stephany and her crew paid me a sudden stop and I too halted and I looked at her whilst clenching my fists. 

‘’I thought I told you to stay away from him. Was I not clear enough before?’’

I gave her a look as she said those things, only if she knew how much of a winner she was right now. I simply walked closer and patted her on the back.

‘’I’m not going to fight with you anymore because I realised there are more important things that I value and even our fake friendship matters to me, I’d be thrilled to let you take Sehun. I’m only here to enjoy my last year in this school.’’

I smiled and walked away and I saw her lips part, she didn’t expect my defeat but it was to benefit the both of us. I needed a quiet and happy time at school whilst she could have had what she wanted; I had no more power over it anymore.

I skipped past Iri and grabbed her arm and pulled her after me. I realised that she listened to what I said earlier and had a lot on her mind.

‘’I have the feeling that things turned upside down for my little Jessica.’’

She walked beside me after I told her the whole ordeal and she stopped me in the busy corridor to give me a tight hug. She leaned in my ear and grabbed me by my arms.

‘’Jess, I can buy you tickets and fly you out of here. I’ll help you out.’’

My eyes widened and I began my laughter and pulled away. I couldn’t believe she’d go this far for me.

‘’Thanks Iri but I have to pass, I don’t think I’d be able to carry on like this anymore, I’d just have to accept and make it work somehow.’’

It wasn’t a bad idea, my life was already a disaster and even so, I looked at my mother as an example, maybe her marriage wasn’t truthful but I knew after many long years she got to the point to love my dad and they now both got along just fine. I could work it out if my fiancé was willing to cooperate in any kind and not malicious way but that was debatable.

I saw her reaching out to my face and wiping a tear away from my eye.

‘’Please consid-‘’

I pulled away from her once more.

‘’No Iri. I can’t run away from my problems. I was taught by my own rival that if you can’t solve the problem then work around it and make it pay or simply live with it. I know I can’t solve it so I still have two options left Iri.’’

I walked ahead to my class and she followed. I had a good friend and I knew she cared but this wasn’t it, I couldn’t just leave like this. I wiped my eyes and dragged on with the day.

It followed another day and I felt Sehun’s absence take a toll on me, normally seeing him gave me anxiety and now whenever I lost sight of him I felt unhappy and just fell in this ginormous hole.

I tried to kept myself together on that rooftop, I was disinterested and staring ahead of me without any focal point but freely absorbing the voices of those loud teenagers playing on the field and those chatting outside on the benches whilst snaking onto something. I was truly empty inside.

I felt someone sit uncomfortably close to me but I didn’t move.

‘’I know you haven’t eaten anything Jess.’’

I heard Sehun’s distressed voice after which his hand pulled onto my wrist and he made me look up at him.

‘’Why are you giving up like this? You went as far as to hand me over to Stephany and now you’re starving yourself?’’

I chuckled and looked back out to that field.

‘’I went as far as to accept the whole situation Sehun, it’s not like she can’t have you now.’’

He breathed out but his grip on my wrist tightened.

‘’You think that I went this far just to have you give up on me like this?’’

My eyebrows lifted slightly.

‘’You think I have a choice?’’

I became angry as everyone around of me always expected something of me but didn’t really consider my situation.

‘’I have no way out…’’

I looked down and I heard him chuckle.

‘’I did not raise you like this, at least fight for what you want.’’

He stood up and I felt betrayed by the fact the he was so inconsiderate of my situation, he seemed colder compared to two days ago and I was very much confused to why he acted like this. Did he really think I could just put an end to it and make it all go back to how it was before?

I angrily looked on the other side, it always worked like a charm for Sehun, making me feel guilty and everything but this time I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t take any of this rude comments.

I heard the door shut brutally and I knew now that I was really alone, not even Sehun was here to comfort me. He knew that I gave up almost instantly and it bothered him because he knew I still loved him.

My fingers moved and I looked down when something lay close to it, a bar of soft caramel. I felt a tiny moment of delight as I stared down at it, maybe he was a savage but at least he still cared.

I ate in silence and was joined by Iri, she tried to build a plan of escape in my head again but no, she was mostly crazy when she suggested moving country but above all she told me not to give up just yet.

‘’Sehun’s still not taken.’’

She stood up and gave me a hand to also get up.

I knew it too well; Sehun himself told me that, he wasn’t back with Stephany and wanted me to fight for him. He still waited for some sort of decision from me.

After the school hours finished I walked out of the library with my work done and was one of the few students left on school grounds.

Just outside the gate, a few gaped in a certain direction in their groups and still gossiping about things and people. I walked through and also looked but to my shock I saw that guy waiting there, I turned my head and my body and walked in the other direction even if it wasn’t the way home.

I heard hurried footsteps behind me and soon I was yanked back by him. I was spun and soon my face was inches away from his.

I could feel his breath tickle on my cheek and I looked down at his grin and that’s when I knew that I was truly in trouble.

‘’Why avoid me?’’

He asked. I stepped back and gripped onto my bag.

‘’Why are you here?’’

He simply smirked at me and closed the gap again.

‘’Aren’t you meant to be my other half?’’

My eyes widened as I heard that, as long as I was alive I considered myself to be Sehun’s opposite, his other half and now I was slapped with this. Of course not, never.

‘’Back off rich boy, back off before I starting hitting you.’’

I hinted at his action on that night and his grin only got bigger.

I felt as the stares were definitely on us now if they weren’t on before, this guy flashed his expensive car and his face in front of the girl that is well connected to the school’s player. Something must be going on.

‘’I’m here to take you out on a date, I want to get to know you if we’re getting married. I know that maybe I acted out of hand that night and that you seem different, I changed my mind about you so I wanted to set some things straight.’’

This Yoongi guy was serious after all, no wonder why that kiss was more than it should have been.

He pulled on my wrist and he led my limp body towards his car and as I turned I saw Sehun coming out of basketball practice at school. He was watching me very carefully.

I couldn’t do anything more than follow after Yoongi, I decided not to defy him as it would all turn into a fight and Sehun would be involved. I didn’t want Sehun to get the wrong idea if I got into his car because I needed to settle some things with this guy as well and it had to happen in some way or another.

I needed to make it clear to him that I didn’t want this marriage to happen.

His car was so clean that it might as well been new, there was no doubt about that, the smell of new leather and shiny buttons around made it crystal clear just how rich new this car was.

The engine purred and he sped out of that place in no time. From time to time he’d steal a glance this way as I hadn’t decided if I should start talking or not, he expected me to say something or he was purely obsessed with my face. I wasn’t sure of myself anymore, was it a good decision to get in his car?

We soon landed at a table at this very elite restaurant where everything on the table had a soft touch and where everyone around were dressed to impress, very rich and discussed business maters over dinner.  I looked down at the menu and even if I was the tiny bit hungry, my hunger wanted to run away after I saw that there was no price list, was it that expensive?

I looked up at him and he rested his head on the base of his palm getting the pleasure to watch me get fascinated and amazed at the amount of expensive things in the menu which didn’t even have a price tag.<