Sehun pressed his face just above my shoulder and gripped at the sheets on my sides as he whispered in faintness.

‘’You have no idea what I could do right now…’’

I could just about feel his urge to carry on and my nails dug deep inside of my palms, it was pure lust that thickly coated him and he yearned for my answer to be as quick as possible. He refused to carry on without me giving in to him, and monitoring his breaths and demanding requests on this very special day, I could just tell that he could not last very long. He knew that if he stayed a second longer my consent will no longer count and so I felt his hands move down to mines, my breath slayed.

He fought against my strength and intertwined his fingers between mine; pressing down on my hands, he moved them up and above my shoulders and at this point, his breathing heightened.

I was surprised that he hadn’t gone ahead with it from the start, something stopped him. I just took a second to grin for the reason that right now, Sehun was hanging by a thread and at any moment he could have cut it off but yet he still refused to do so.  The beast inside him was restricted as I would not find the words to speak, it didn’t allow Sehun to do as he pleased and he slowed down as he waited for those words to fall out of my mouth.

Any heated argument we had in the past, the violent fights and intense wind-ups  were beyond forgotten and healed now, Sehun moved as if he’d claimed the fact that I was his and just as his lips moved close to the skin of my neck I realised it, as drunk as I was, I realised what was truly happening.

The week had ended, Sehun had been nice to me and he had won the deal we both sealed. I was truly his by our spoken war law and yet Sehun didn’t use that as a reason to get me to consent to his dirty thoughts. He fought against his own self-control for the moment to stop himself from doing something he’d regret later on. This was his unplanned chance to prove himself and no matter how he turned it, he couldn’t mess this up.  I wouldn’t be able to forgive him if he did.

Yet, he didn’t stop.

 I felt as though it took an eternity for those lips to finally plant on my neck, he was doing it on purpose. Taking it slowly and still hoping I would finally end his agony, my fingers moved and soon I gripped onto his hands as tightly as I could although no strength seeped through. I needed to say something. I was too drunk to even move. I could have easily said yes. I knew that he wanted me to say yes, we had gone too far already but…

‘’I don’t think I have the strength to agree to this right now.’’

I could feel my voice tremble beneath him, the darkness of that room and the muffled music covered for it but he heard me clearly; it was my broken heart calling out from inside, I recognized that it wasn’t strong for this.

I still had that fear and a mini sequence of events played in my head.

This night could have gone ahead like this and the next day, Sehun would walk around with victory written all over, he would definitely leave me and never look at me again unless it was for another insult. It was the thought of Sehun destroying everything that I had left, using me and let me live in shame for the fact that I caved in front of him so quickly. I was certain that I wouldn’t be able to cope with it, I would be broken once more.

I was truly frightened and Sehun knew of this. Our twisted trust was nowhere near founded after all the betrayals and lies.

‘’I swear that I’ll never hurt you.’’

He said as he resisted back on my hands with the same strength I used and I could feel tears try to reach the corner of my eyes.  He still tried to persuade his way in…

‘’And I’ll stand by my words tonight.’’

I suddenly feel his fingers lose the fight, his hands held up the pressure and slowly I felt him pull away, tormented by it all. I was left speechless. 

‘’I’m both glad and angry you’re drunk now.  I’m glad as I found out that you lied and angry since I can’t make you mine now.  I’m still at a loss.’’

I wanted to laugh at him as he turned around and said those words to me. It was the words of defeat and this wasn’t Sehun’s nature.

I smiled.

He might have been the world’s worst childhood bully, but this bully had a simple rule. He didn’t like to lose and this time it meant protecting me and my heart, my decision over this whole situation.

That only meant one thing.

‘’Are you fighting for me?’’

I squeezed my eyes down on him, my body barely standing still from Sehun’s actions earlier and the alcohol I decided to take in. I wanted to know what the reasoning for his withdrawal was, I heard from many of his girlfriends in the school toilet just how Sehun never wasted any time. This time, it was his birthday, he had control over a drunken girl and still he didn’t even dare to go ahead with it; something seemed off.

 ‘’Seems so.’’

He answered whilst walking slowly to his desk and grabbing a bunch of sweets in his hands, he threw them one by one on the bed in my reach and I frowned at him. Was there poison in these? Was this how it was all going to go down?

‘’You think I didn’t see you today?’’

My eyes snapped back at him when I grabbed a sweet from the pile and my lips twitched another quick smile. Sehun had been watching me closely at school.  Was there even a time when he isn’t watching me at school?

‘’I’ll get the bath ready.’’

I was astonished at how well he responded to my unspoken wishes, the hairs on my arm standing up on its ends and the giddy feeling building up in the pit of my stomach as my eyes followed Sehun into his own bathroom.  The water started to run and I wanted to say something to him but my breath was stuck in my lungs, my head dropped down and a sheer smile displayed on fully now. I knew what this jerk was doing to me. There might have been a few minutes to midnight and he was using his ability to prove himself here, it could all still possibly be a trap.

He returned and fixed one of his t-shirts and shorts for me in the steamy bathroom, eyes focused on his job and not pilfering any looks my way.

I remembered damn well what his mother had said, Sehun was going to take care of me on his very own birthday, I refused to believe her and here Sehun was, my enemy,  getting me ready for a bath as I ran on my last few bit of energy before planning to pass out.

Sehun could have been out there with his friends who were now probably wondering where he was but instead he made sure I had everything I needed.

I think he proved himself enough.

He helped me up from the bed and just as he did, I planted a kiss on his cheek as gratitude and his grin couldn’t get any bigger when he followed after me in the bathroom.

‘’Should I stay just in case you pass out or…?’’

I hit his