Kim Kai is the most handsome attendant at their school. He’s the most famous, has the most girls screaming after him and some of the best grades in his year. He attends dance classes and participates in every dance competition around Seoul, not even once coming home without an award of being one of the top three.

Do Kyungsoo has always been envious. He’s not as handsome and not as good at school. He’s shy and decent and pursues his goal of not bothering other people. He’s envious of Kai because the younger has an outgoing personality and is always cheerful around everyone. Not even once did Kyungsoo see him really shy, embarrassed or uncomfortable with the environment he was clad into.

He liked Kai, hell, everyone did. But Kyungsoo preferred to say that he liked Kai differently. He admired him and secretly tried his hairstyles at home. Most of the time though, he ended up on his bed, frustrated, because he’s not as handsome as Kai, of course not.

Kai had best friends that Kyungsoo was envious of. Kai seemed so happy around them.

But sometimes Kyungsoo believed that it seemed that Kai was hiding something. Sometimes he’d have a forced expression on his face but Kyungsoo never heard the questions he was being asked, which led him to wear such a face. Kai mostly wiped the questions away skillfully and moved on to another topic, his cheerful expression coming back.

Kyungsoo admired his facial features, the way his eyes formed into crescent moons when he smiled brightly. His smile challenged the sun in Kyungsoos point of view and there was nothing else he loved more to see.

Kyungsoo walked along the hallway to his locker to put his books inside when he heard Chanyeols voice next to him.

“Are you swooning over your Kai again?”

Kyungsoo punched him because the younger was walking past them with a friend of his while Chanyeol cooed at him.

“Kai, do you have time today? Wanna meet up with the others?” Sehun asked his friend.

“Ah, no sorry. I have to take care of my little brother today.” Kai declined.

“Why do you never have time? You always have to take care of your brother! What about your friends?” Sehun whined.

“Sorry Sehun, but my parents aren’t at home for this week, like I told you and you know that my brother is important to me.”

Sehun groaned but didn’t say anything else as he left with Kai.

Kyungsoo turned to Chanyeol who eyed him with a smirk.

“Ogling him again, hm?” he teased and Kyungsoo rolled his eyes.

“Shut up, Chanyeol.”

The tall boy was a nuisance that always tagged along. They were in the same class and Chanyeol was eager to be friends with him and didn’t stop bothering him until he said yes to his invitation for friendship.

Kyungsoo would never admit it but he really liked Chanyeol and he enjoyed every minute he could spend with the tall boy.

He grabbed Chanyeol by his arm and pulled him to their next class before they’d be too late.

 

Kyungsoo never told anybody, except Chanyeol who had found out by coincidence, that he’s doing Judo in his free time. He was a fast learner and climbed the ranks up high to the black belt he wore proudly during his lessons.

That was something he was proud of, as well as his voice. His singing voice was beautiful according to Chanyeol. Nobody else has ever heard him singing.

He walked along the pavement to the next grocery store since he ran out of some ingredients for a decent meal he wanted to have in the evening.

“I told you to give me your money!”

Kyungsoo stopped and looked around himself, not far away, he saw three men around a boy his age.

He started walking again, approaching the scene in front of him.

“If you’re not gonna give it to me, I’m gonna punch you until you’re green and blue and beg me to take it from you!”

“I-I’m sorry b-but I don’t have a-any money with me…” Somehow this voice was familiar to Kyungsoo and he came to a halt behind the man who yelled at the boy.

“I’m sorry but if you want money you could go and search for a job like everyone else does, sir.” He kindly suggested and smiled at the obscene face in front of him.

“You damn brat, leave before I kill you!”

The man intended to punch Kyungsoo but the boy took a step to the side and kicked him in his guts. An unpleasant whimper reached his ears and he stared at the other two men who ran away as they saw Kyungsoos intimidating expression.

“Are you okay?” he asked while turning to the boy who was shaking in fear.

“Kai?!” he exclaimed as he saw who was standing in front of him and Kai just nodded slightly.

“Why...” Kyungsoo started but stopped, unable to say something.

He expected anybody but Kai.

“Uhh… No... My name is Jongin. Not Kai.”

“No, you are Kai. I know you! You’re wearing the same clothes as him! I just saw you at school!” Kyungsoo argued, staring at Kai.

“P-Please…”

“What?”

“D-Don’t hurt me” Kai whispered with tears in his eyes and Kyungsoo gulped.

Maybe he was wrong and this really was not Kai. But this boy looked exactly like him.

“Why should I hurt you? I’m not as cruel as those bastards that cornered you just now or do I look like I’m gonna harm you?”

“N-No but… you yelled at me” Kai got tinier by the seconds passing and honestly, Kyungsoo pitied him.

“I’m sorry that I yelled at you but at my school is someone who looks exactly like you do. I mean, I was just confused that you look like him. Adding the fact that you’re wearing the same clothes.”

“U-Umm… Since you rescued me, d-do you wanna come with me and I’ll make some t-tea?” the boy suggested.

Kyungsoo tilted his head. Was it safe to go with a stranger? But he saw how this boy behaved so he couldn’t be a danger for him, right? He was uncertain about this.

“Okay…” he agreed after some thinking and the smile that was greeting him almost made his eyesight go blind.

This couldn’t be anybody else than Kai.

He trailed after the soft brown haired boy silently, observing his antics.

Jongin walked the same as Kai, there was no difference.

A year of studying the youngers behavior gave him success in actually identifying Kai in front of him. The boy behaved slightly different, more shy and careful but on the whole, this must be Kai.

“We’re there.” Kai said and opened the door to a wonderful small house with a lovely garden surrounding it.

Kyungsoo entered behind the smaller and gazed around the room.

“Please feel at home” the boy whispered and removed his shoes before leading Kyungsoo in their kitchen.

“Taemin?” the boy asked and seconds later Kyungsoo heard soft footsteps above him and soon a small boy entered the kitchen and jumped in Jongins or Kais arms. Kyungsoo was confused.

The boy who seemed to be Taemin giggled and hugged the other tightly and Kyungsoo thought that he heard another voice giggling. He cooed when he saw that soft smile planted on the other boys face.

“This is Taemin, my little brother. Umm”

“What is it?”

“I-I don’t know your name yet…”

“Ah! Oh, sorry! I’m Kyungsoo.” He laughed and Kai or Jongin smiled at him.

“Well, thank you for saving me earlier, really.”

“No need to thank me.” Kyungsoo smiled.

“Of course! Would you please sit down, then?”

Kyungsoo did as he was asked and sat at the table.

“Taeminnie, please go and play something, okay? Hyung has to talk to this boy.”

Taemin nodded and left with a wave at Kyungsoo which the elder returned.

The other boy set a cup of tea in front of Kyungsoo and sat down opposite of him.

“Umm… Actually you were right.” He started and stopped, laughing awkwardly.

“I hoped that it could have stayed secret but I kinda knew it wouldn’t. So, well, umm… I’m Kai.”

Kyungsoo stared at him and nodded after a few seconds.

“Well, I don’t really know how to explain this but… I have two personalities. Please, I beg you, please don’t tell anyone else.” Kai hid his face behind his palms.

“There’s no need for me to tell others.”

“Thank you.” Kai smiled.

“So that is why you were so scared and shy before when the men tried to harm you?” Kyungsoo gently poked him to continue talking.

“Yeah. I have my cheerful and outgoing personality, then I am Kai. And I have my shy and socially awkward personality, then I am Jongin. At school I’m Kai and at home I’m Jongin. It’s kinda difficult, I don’t really know how to explain it… I’m so shy around people that I sometimes start to cry… Umm sorry that was not necessary… I mean I don’t want you to pity me. I’m just scared that people find out about this and mock me for who I am. I can’t stop this and if I could I would gladly be Kai but I’ve been to a lot of doctors and specialists for this case but it can’t be cured. I never invite my friends over and never go out with them because once I leave school grounds, I turn to Jongin. I tried to find a way to control it but there is none and it kinda makes me desperate because I am a bad friend for rejecting everyone around me. I want to be friends with them and meet them after school but I’m just too scared. I don’t want them to mock me and… Oh my god I’m sorry that I bother you with this, I just felt responsible to tell you this because I didn’t want you to be confused about this and… I’m sorry if I bother you or bore you with my problem. You’re free to leave if you want but please just not tell anybody-“

“Kai. No, Jongin!”

Jongin stopped his ramblings and gazed in Kyungsoos eyes, his own teary.

“You don’t bother me. Actually, I knew you were hiding something and I’m happy to finally have found out. You don’t have to be scared that I’m going to tell everyone because I won’t. I understand you, okay?” Kyungsoo assured and Jongin actually started to cry.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to start to cry… Oh my, why can’t this just stop?!” Jongin exclaimed and buried his face in his hands.

“I’m sorry to embarrass you, Kyungsoo.” He whimpered and Kyungsoo smiled.

“It’s okay Jongin. Honestly, I think you’re really cute” he admit and Jongin stared at him in disbelief.

“What?”

“I said I think you are cute.” Kyungsoo repeated and his breath left his lungs when he heard Jongin giggle through his sobs.

“Thank you, Kyungsoo. Honestly, I think you’re really handsome.” Jongin wiped with his sleeve over his eyes and flashed a wide smile that made Kyungsoo go blind for a few seconds before he felt butterflies in his tummy and he thought this was gonna be the best day of his life.

 

Time passed rapidly and Kyungsoo befriended Jongin, though the younger boy wanted to keep their relationship just out of school. Kyungsoo was fine with that because he loved Jongin, as well as Kai but he knew Jongin better now since they met often and spent whole afternoons together.

However, Kyungsoo was not ready to confess his love to Jongin and therefore, he kept it secret and cherished every moment he could touch the younger or see him smile or just spend time with him.

“Jongin?”

They were watching television and there was nothing particular running, so Kyungsoo asked the question he wanted to ask a lot of times already.

“Yeah?”

 “How can you dance so self-confidently when you are Jongin?”

“Umm… I don’t know… I asked that myself before. I think it’s because I do it with so much passion that I just go with the flow and forget who I am. I become one with Kai.”

Kyungsoo hummed and smiled.

 

“Kyungsoo?”

“Yeah?”

“Umm… Actually, I’ve seen you a lot before, I’ve seen you around at school and sometimes I saw you staring. Sometimes you were with this tall boy and you smiled when he talked to you. And I’m sorry if I keep you occupied. You know, you don’t have to stop meeting him just because of me. You can meet him. I can wait, okay? It’s not that I mind if you see him outside of school but I just feel bad for pulling you away from your boyfriend and I don’t want you to break up bec-”

“Wait.” Kyungsoo interrupted him.

“You think Chanyeol is my boyfriend?”

“Yeah, I thought so because you seem really happy around him.”

“Oh Jongin.. We aren’t dating. Sure, I like him a lot, more than I want to admit to him because he’d mock me with it, but we’re just friends. Silly. You’re not pulling us apart. Besides, it’s my own decision with whom I want to spend my free time with.”

“Okay, I’m sorry to bother you.”

“You aren’t bothering me, Jongin.”

“But still.”

“Stop it.” Kyungsoo chuckled and Jongin giggled like a child and Kyungsoo realized that he was really happy with how things were.

 

Eventually, Jongin decided that Kyungsoo should meet his friends. Not that Kyungsoo didn’t know all their names and in which classes they went from spying Jongin out but Jongin didn’t know that of course. Kyungsoo agreed and went with Kai during lunch break. Kai introduced him to his friends and sat next to Kyungsoo while people started asking holes in Kyungsoo.

“How did you meet?”

Kai inhaled sharply and shared a glance with Kyungsoo before he started.

“Umm… I bumped in him when I was at the grocery store.”

Sehun laughed and stared at them.

Kyungsoo grinned cheerfully and nodded.

Kyungsoo felt Kai letting out an internal sigh and he smiled at the younger.

Everyone liked Kyungsoo and he was welcomed in their circle of friends.

A few days later, he introduced Chanyeol to his friends and he saw how the giant found special interest in Baekhyun.

Soon, he saw how Chanyeol and Baekhyun exchanged gentle gazes and they held hands under the table and Kyungsoo became envious. Even Chanyeol got a boyfriend now and he himself still was kinda at the beginning. He hadn’t made any progress because currently was exam time and they didn’t have much time to meet.

Well, even if they had every afternoon, Kyungsoo wouldn’t do any progress with Jongin. The younger was so cute and he just wanted to hold him all the time and never let him go.

He was used to Jongin grabbing his fingers when they were in public and the younger got afraid but Kyungsoo wanted him to grab his hand when they were at home, and even when they were at school, when Jongin was Kai.

Kyungsoo always wanted to be held by Kai who was so handsome and manly and looked so experienced. But when it came to Jongin, he wanted to hold the younger, take care of him and his adorable innocence. He was head over heels in love with both his personalities and he was one of the only people who knew about Jongin.

“Kyungsoo?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m gonna write math tomorrow and since you’re a year above me, I thought you could teach me? I really tried it alone but I just can’t. Please help me.”

“Okay, Jongin. Show me what you’ve got.”

Kyungsoo taught Jongin math and the younger actually understood everything.

When Jongin showed him his exam with the best grade of his class, Kyungsoo smiled warmly and congratulated him.

That was when they made a progress.

Jongin was so happy that he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Kyungsoos cheek and Kyungsoo blushed, left dazing with a soft smile on his lips. He cherished this day.

 

Kyungsoo came to see him on his dance competition and what Jongin showed him there was more than stunning. Kyungsoo fell even further for Jongin and he tried to hide it when Jongin came rushing towards him after that and hugged him as tight as he never did. Kyungsoo held him and cried with him because Jongin won the competition and qualified himself for the next upcoming competition which was even more important.

 

Chanyeol told him that he made progress with Baekhyun and when Kyungsoo asked in which way, Chanyeol told him they slept together.

Kyungsoo gulped and gazed away from Chanyeol.

“I’m happy for you.” He said but Chanyeol knew Kyungsoo was sad.

“Hey, remember, we’re still best friends and you can always come to me, okay? Please tell me if something is bothering you, okay?” Chanyeol told him and rubbed his back and Kyungsoo just started to cry. He didn’t want to make Chanyeol feel bad for having a boyfriend before him but what he said sounded just like he hated Chanyeol for it.

“I-I’m just so envious of you! I observed Kai for such a long time. And then I finally get to be friends with him and I… I introduce you to his friends and you just fall in love, get him and even sleep with Baekhyun before I can even kiss Kai properly! I don’t find the courage to tell him about my feelings because I’m scared he wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore. It’s just so unfair…” Kyungsoo sobbed and Chanyeol cooed at him, caressing his hair soothingly.

“I don’t like you being sad, Kyungsoo. Please don’t be. I’m sorry that my relationship went faster than yours.”

“You don’t need to apologize. It just went faster because you love each other and Kai doesn’t love me.”

“Bull! If you were someone else, you’d see how Kai looks at you! Every of our friends knows that he has a thing for you! Just talk to him. Talking makes everything better. Talk to him and tell him how you feel. And if he rejects you, tell me. I’m gonna punch him.”

Kyungsoo chuckled at his friends words and he nodded slightly.

“Okay, I’ll try it.”

 

Kyungsoo tagged along to Jongins next competition and he was with him while he prepared himself for his dance.

“Kyungsoo, what am I going to do? I feel so nervous yet excited and afraid! Everything is mixed up and I can’t think clearly anymore! What am I going to do when I fail?! I’ll never get a chance like this again…” Jongin rambled in panic, oblivious to Kyungsoos tries to calm him down.

“Jongin, stop it and calm down!”

The younger halted and gazed at him and Kyungsoo hugged him closely.

“I know you’ll do it!” he said and Jongin giggled like a child, like he did all the time.

“But what if I’m not strong enough? I know I’m capable of doing all the moves, I practiced so much for this. I’m just worried what is going to happen to me, you know?” Jongin sighed and hugged Kyungsoo back.

“I know. You told me whenever you dance, it gets so passionate that you lose yourself and become Kai, and you finish this together. You told me you’re doing it with him together. I believe in you that you’ll make it!” Kyungsoo encouraged.

Jongin stayed in his arms until it was his turn to perform and when he did, Kyungsoo thought he was going to get blind by the beauty of his crush. He moved so smoothly and didn’t even do one mistake by the time he was finished and bowed to the cheering crowd.

The bright smile that flashed across his face made Kyungsoos legs go numb, causing him to almost fall down when Jongin came rushing towards him, jumping on him and hugging him tightly. He was thanking Kyungsoo over and over again because he helped Jongin so well and therefore, he was so happy and thankful. He won the competition and he caught the attention of high personalities.

Jongins dream has come true.

And Kyungsoo?

He still didn’t have what he actually wanted. He was happy for Jongin but his other side was selfish and he wanted Jongin for himself already.

Now, it was his turn to get what he wanted and be as lucky as he could.

 

Kyungsoo was at Jongin’s and they played some video games together when Kyungsoo deemed himself ready to talk to Jongin.

“Hey”

“Yeah?”

“I need to talk to you.”

“What is it?” Jongin smiled at him and Kyungsoo leaned back in the sofa, grabbing the fingers of Jongins hand and started playing with them, tracing the lines and comparing size with his own hand.

“Umm… I wanted to tell you earlier but I was not sure and well… I think it’s time…”

“Time for what?” Jongin asked in confusion.

“Jongin, I know you a lot longer than we’ve been friends. I… I observed you before. You were fascinating me and I just liked everything about you. I always wanted to be your friend, I-I wanted you to hold me a-and kiss me a-and… When I met you and saved you from these guys… I… I got the opportunity to get to know you better and I was so happy that you told me about your two personalities and… I was just so happy that I finally became your friend and well… I want to hug and kiss you whenever you’re Jongin… because you’re adorable and lovely and I just can’t stop looking at you because you’re my sun and you’ve always been a-and Jongin… I love you so much…” he whispered the last part and his heart felt like bursting. His breathing was uneven and his heart hammered inside his ribcage while the rest of his body felt like he was burning in a campfire.

It was silent and Kyungsoo didn’t feel any movement from Jongin. He had closed his eyes during his talk and he refused to open them, afraid of what would be greeting him.

Jongin removed his fingers from Kyungsoos hold. The elder knew it was stupid of him to tell Jongin about his feelings. His heart would be hurt and he would lose Jongin as a close friend. Kyungsoo felt the tears running out of his closed eyes as he tried to hold back a sob.

The sofa was dipping and warm hands came to rest on his cheeks. Was he dreaming?

“Open your eyes.” Jongin commanded and Kyungsoo did, staring in Jongins eyes a few centimeters away from his own and he saw this wonderful eye smile that made him go blind.

“I’m glad you love me, Kyungsoo. Because I love you too.”

Kyungsoo couldn’t reply because Jongin kissed him, soft and slow. No, Kai kissed him and Kyungsoo grabbed his shoulders as their lips molded together. Gently brushing each others lips, Kyungsoo felt a wave of tingles and happiness wash over him and he closed his eyes, kissing back as softly as he could because Kai was his, Jongin was finally his and he wouldn’t have to worry about anything anymore.

Kai withdrew and gazed in Kyungsoos eyes when he opened them. The younger giggled and wrapped Kyungsoo up in his arms before he laid down on the sofa, Kyungsoo safely tucked between him and the safe side of the sofa so that he wouldn’t fall off it.

“I’ve seen you around before. I was happy to see you at school and when you saved me, I thought this was going to be my chance to get you. I love you, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo smiled and wrapped his arms around Kais waist.

“Why are you Kai now?”

“Because I was ready and had the courage to finally take you.”

Kyungsoo chuckled and held Kai closer.

“Will you become Jongin for me again?”

“Don’t you like me?”

“Of course I like you but I love Jongin as much as you.”

“A-Are you serious?”

“Yes, Jongin. I love you for who you are. Nobody will mock you for your two personalities. You are perfect.”

“Thank you, Kyungsoo.” Jongin whispered and they fell asleep with a smile on their lips, safely tucked in each others arms. 

 

---

 

This was the birthday present for Kai and Kyungsoo which delayed again because of schoolwork.

Also, please excuse any mistakes. I do not want to insult any people with this.

I hope you enjoyed!