Final
wait for me to come homeWords count: 2270
Loving can hurt
Loving can hurt sometimes
But it’s the only thing that I know
When it gets hard
You know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive
We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
Times forever frozen still
Kyungsoo tried.
He tried so hard to make up with Jongin.
But he didn’t know how.
Kyungsoo knew from the beginning that if he accepted his role as lead actor in Pure Love movie, it could affect their relationship. He knew himself and jongin are possessive toward each other, and easily got jealous. Though jongin is more obvious than him. EXO is getting much fame these days and even became global trend. More individual schedule to come, more distance that separate them.
He remembered jongin said he didn’t like kyungsoo getting role in Pure Love, not because he wasn’t proud of Actor Do Kyungsoo, not because he didn’t support him, but more because he’s afraid. He’s afraid he would lose kyungsoo. It’s already hard keeping their love secret because they live as idols, they don’t need distance to add it. Especially it’s a movie about love. But kyungsoo assuring him that he won’t go anywhere. That even when he’s far from him, even if they can’t spend much time together like years ago before they were famous, jongin has always been his home. Place where he would come back to. So jongin trusted him, he believed in kyungsoo, he fought for their love. He promised to assure himself that whatever kyungsoo would do in movie it’s only an act. While the relationship he has with kyungsoo is reality.
So jongin waited, and waited, and waited. Waiting kyungsoo to call him when he was far away doing filming, waiting kyungsoo to go back to their shared dorm, waiting kyungsoo to appear for EXO’s practice, waiting kyungsoo to come back to him. But kyungsoo rarely texted him or called him because he didn’t get much break time in his filming. Kyungsoo went back very late to their dorm and found jongin already asleep, or even worse sometimes he cancelled going back home because filming went on until the next day. Kyungsoo couldn’t practice together with EXO because SM gave him a lot individual schedule. Kyungsoo rarely come back to jongin not because he wanted too but because he couldn’t.
And early January Jongin just couldn’t hold it anymore. Kyungsoo cancelled their birthday plans for kyungsoo on January 12th and even their date on January 13th because he was being told that Pure Love showcase will be held on that time. Jongin didn’t say any word to him when he told him the news, he just kept quiet, but it scared kyungsoo the most. He prefer jongin to get angry with him, hit him, shout at him, or anything, but he didn’t show any emotion. Kyungsoo kept saying sorry to him but what jongin gave him was just a blank stare, and then he left their dorm. Since then he became very quiet, and gave kyungsoo silent treatment.
Kyungsoo tried to approach him but he tried to avoid kyungsoo as much as he can. Other members knew about this and they helped kyungsoo to coax Jongin, but Jongin didn’t respond whenever they talked about it. Even though it wasn’t his fault, kyungsoo kept blaming himself because he knew how much the birthday plans and date mean for them especially in situation like this, when they’re mostly apart from each other. And kyungsoo blamed himself because his individual schedules force him to be away from dorm and from Jongin so he couldn’t have much time to make up with Jongin.
Then EXO had EXO’luXion concerts in Singapore for two days, means golden chance for kyungsoo to make up.
But jongin kept rejecting him.
Those two days kyungsoo spent trying to make up with Jongin. Yes he was disappointed whenever they passed each other Jongin rarely looked at him and tried to avoid eye contact with him as much as possible. But kyungsoo kept trying. He followed jongin everywhere, he tried to dance with him in Unfair, he gestured Jongin to hold his hand in Peterpan, but Jongin being cold to him. Like really cold. He knew Jongin sometimes secretly looking at him when Jongin was far from him or when Jongin thought he wasn’t looking at him, but only that.
When fans sang birthday song for them on first day, Suho had to push jongin to him. Kyungsoo’s heart beat fast because he thought they could reconcile but he felt that even Jongin looked happy outside, he still held his sadness in him. Kyungsoo initiated to hug him but the hug he got was really awkward. When fans gave birthday surprise for them and singing birthday song again on second day, Yixing was the one pushing jongin to him. He did side hug to jongin but jongin only held him for a second on waist and then released it, bowed thank you to fans and immediately went back to his position, not even looking at him. It broke kyungsoo’s heart because he didn’t know what to do and the concert was going to end. They had to separate ways again because he would fly back to Seoul that night while jongin on the next day.
So kyungsoo did a gamble. He tried to show his affection and love to Jongin on his solo of Growl. He walked step by step closer to Jongin, and Jongin looked surprised. He reached for his neck, and caressed it because he knew caressing neck is always Jongin’s favorite. But his hope got crushed again. Jongin reached for his arm and pushed it away. He knew Jongin was really upset and disappointed but he didn’t know he broke his heart this badly. He went back to his position, and thank God Minseok and Joonmyeon were sensitive and they copied his move to Jongin to disguise the awkward moment. And just like that the chance to make up all gone.
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Their birthdays were approaching and kyungsoo didn’t want to waste any more time having silent fight with Jongin. He loves Jongin so much and he didn’t want to spend their birthday like this. So he did anything he could.
3 missed calls
Message from Kyungsoo
Jongin pick up the phone please.
I know you’re already in Seoul.
Jongin please answer my call.
5 missed calls
Message from Kyungsoo
Jongin please.
Please I need to talk to you. Don’t avoid me anymore.
7 missed calls
Message from Kyungsoo
Jongin please
I love you.
I won’t give up I will keep calling you until you pick it up.
Even if it takes thousand tries
I’m here
“Jongin, you pick it up.”
“Yes, because it keeps ringing and members forced me to pick it. What do you want kyungsoo.”
“I’m sorry Jongin…….I’m sorry for everything.”
“…………………………….”
“Please answer me, say something”
“What should I say.”
“Anything! Anything is fine! As long as you’re not being quiet and avoiding me anymore. I’m sorry Jongin. I’m sorry for being a jerk. I’m sorry for being too busy and leaving you alone. But I’m not forgetting our relationship. I always love you Jongin.”
Kyungsoo heard jongin’s voice trembled,”I’m just….kyungsoo I know you’re very busy, and I always support you. I’m happy to see you grow up, to see many people recognize your talent. But I can’t help myself to not thinking that this is how I lose you….I’m losing you already….I’m sorry I’m always used to having you near me and love me and I just can’t accept living like this. I can’t get used to live without you I can’t---“ by the last sentences jongin broke into tears.
Kyungsoo couldn’t help but also tearing up,”Sssshhhh Jongin, don’t cry baby please, I can’t hear you cry.”
“I tried to hold everything inside. I tried to understand and support you but you’re getting far and far away out of my reach. We barely spend time together. I tried to hang on because you promise me we will finally spend your birthday, our day, and my birthday together. But when I heard you had to cancel it I just couldn’t hold it anymore.”
“Jongin, now hear me out. I’m sorry I have to break my promise because this is a job, my responsibility; I couldn’t just run away from it. But I never want to break our relationship, not now and not forever. My plan is to stuck with you for the rest of my life. So Jongin, we’ve been together for years already, and we faced many problems in our life but we get through it together. With EXO becomes more popular, distance and individual schedules become our new problem. But please bear it with me. Please stay with me. Please believe in me. I know I’m asking a lot from you, I know it’s hard to wait for me, but please wait. I know I’m selfish but I have no shame to be one if it means I could keep you with me. And by the time it’s you who have so many individual schedules and have to leave me alone, I will remember you, I will wait for you. I’m sorry I hurt you so many times, but I love you all the time.”
Kyungsoo heard jongin sobbed quietly and he waited for him patiently, “I’m sorry for being childish. I shouldn’t act like this and shouldn’t avoid you. I’m sorry kyungsoo, I should have known you better.”
Hearing jongin’s response kyungsoo felt extremely relieved. He knew Jongin understand already, “It’s okay jongin, if I were in your position maybe I’ll act the same. Don’t cry anymore okay,”
“Sorry for ignoring you in the concert too. If I weren’t avoiding you we could enjoy it together.”
Kyungsoo chuckled, “I’m sorry too I’m really in showing my affection to you in public, you know that. I’m not romantic; I can’t be cheesy, please bear with my own way to love you. But one thing I can do for sure, to love you the most, more than anyone in the world,”
Kyungsoo knew jongin was blushing in the other line, “You said you’re not cheesy. Hear what you’ve said just now”
Kyungsoo laughed happily, “Only for you I’ll try to be better. So, we’re good now?”
“Yeah, of course. I can’t stay mad and upset for a long time after all. I miss you too much.”
“I miss you too, my jongin.”
“It’s almost 10 PM already, 2 hours until your birthday.”
“Yeah, I’m so tired right now and tomorrow I have to get up early for the showcase.”
“Go sleep now.”
“But I still want to talk to you, and hearing you as the first one giving birthday wish to me,” kyungsoo smiled.
Jongin blushed “You should sleep so you won’t look like a zombie tomorrow! If you really want to hear me saying birthday wishes for you, I will say it now in advance. Happy birthday Do Kyungsoo, happy birthday my other half. I wish I’m with you right now but you know you already hold half of my heart in you. I wish you the best and have a great year ahead. I wish you become a better person and I wish you get much more love from people around you, but you have to know I’ll be the one who love you the most! And I wish you will love me more and more, like I do.”
“I’m lucky to have you, thank you Jongin-ah.”
“Now sleep! About birthday date, we can do later after you finish your work. So take a good rest now and be ready for tomorrow okay?”
“I really hope I could be with you on your birthday, Jongin.”
“I hope so, let’s see it later.”
“So, good night jongin-ah”
“Good night kyungsoo”
“Thanks for loving me, sleep well my love”
Message from Jongin:
“I’ll wait for you to come home, to me. Happy birthday Do Kyungsoo, I will always love you.”
Loving can heal
Loving can mend your soul
And it’s the only thing that I know
I swear it will get easier
Remember that with every piece of you
And it’s the only thing we take with us when we die
So you can keep me
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans
Holding me closer until our eyes meet
You won’t ever be alone
And if you hurt me
That’s okay baby only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won’t ever let you go
Wait for me to come home
When I’m away
I will remember how you kissed me
Under the lamppost back on 6th street
Hearing you whisper through the phone
Wait for me to come home
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Well this is non au kaisoo fanfic that I wrote based on my feeling after what happened in TEL SG and the fact that Jan 12th and 13th kyungsoo has showcase. This is 100% my own thinking and I just wrote this fanfic to save my own feelings lmao.
Sorry if it’s angsty but well In KADI I trust :) No matter what happened they will find their way back to each other.
Note: I include Ed Sheeran – Photograph song in the fic because well for me that fits them right now. Also this fic isn’t betaed and I didn’t check the grammar (I’m also in grammar) so thank you for your understanding :)
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