The wind blew as Jin walked through the snow, causing him to shiver. He hummed to song that was stuck in his head as he wrapped his coat tighter around himself. He glanced at the clouded sky as he came to a stop in front of the familiar plot of land under a tree.

“The weather’s kind of gloomy today,” Jin smiled as he sat down “Don’t you think?”

The wind shifted slightly, and Jin could only smile wider as he closed his eyes. 

“I know, that’s a lame topic starter.” He chuckled quietly, opening his eyes again. “I should be able to start off with something like ‘I just got chased by a dog for ten minutes because I had a piece of bacon in my pocket’ or ‘I think my closet is haunted but I need my bunny slippers’ like you would always start.”

Jin sighed as he leaned over and brushed the snow off of the tomb stone.

“Things are a lot less interesting without you, you know…” He brought his knees up his chest and rested his chin on them. “We all miss you. Jimin, Jungkook, Hoseok, Namjoon, even Yoongi.” Jin laughed as he mentioned Yoongi. “I miss you too, so very much… Taehyung.” He closed his eyes again, thinking back to the past few years. Jin remembered almost everything.

“Do you remember how I would stay up late to read but you didn’t want to be alone so you’d come and lay your head in my lap?” Jin laughed. “You made the funniest faces in your sleep. And I never had the heart to wake you up, so we’d both sleep on the couch and wake up with terrible kinks in our necks and backs. Or how you would tease me about how complicated my order at coffee shops would be, even though yours was equally if not more complicated.” He waited for an answer that he knew wouldn’t come before he continued.

“I remember how much better you looked in a suit, even though you insisted that I looked better.” He leaned back on to his elbows “And I remember how you would drag me out to the park every month just so that you could feed the ducks or pigeons.” He grinned as he remembered the look on Taehyung’s face during the winter when there were only crows.

“And what about how much you hated my favorite chicken dish. You hated it so much but still ate it when I made it because, and I quote ‘anything made by Kim Seokjin is better than a five-star chef, even if it is this stupid chicken.’ And then you’d eat half of it in one bite.” Jin chuckled at the memory of Taehyung with his cheeks full. “I remember that one time, you tried to cook it for me after I had a bad day at work and you set the kitchen on fire, you were lucky I was there or else the whole apartment complex would have burned down.” He grinned “You tried so hard though. I still remember the grin you had on your face while apologizing, I couldn’t even get mad at you because of your stupid smile.”

Jin stayed quiet for few minutes as it began snowing. He looked up at the sky still smiling. The snow reminded him of their first kiss.

“It was a day like this…” Jin mused “You wouldn’t shut up about those stupid people in the park that you swore were gremlins, and frankly I was getting tired of listening after a whole hour… and the only thing that I could think of to shut you up was to kiss you.” He laughed “Sorry that our first kiss was so not romantic, especially because we weren’t even dating then. You didn’t seem to mind though; you broke into the biggest grin. I remember the snow melting on your cheeks as you took my hand in yours. What was that? Like two years ago?” He paused “Yeah, a little over two years.”

It started snowing harder and the wind picked up a little. He began to laugh again as he remembered something else that happened on a snowy day.

“There was also that time that you, Jungkook and Jimin all stayed outside to play in the snow for hours. You guys were having so much fun that you forgot about the time and Yoongi and I were sent out to find you. Yoongi complained the whole time we were looking.” Jin recalled. “I started scolding you three, I remember, and you remember what you did? You threw a snow ball at me!” He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. “The three of you started calling me mom after that too. Saying things like ‘yes mom’ and ‘sorry mom’ like really guys?”  Jin scoffed. “Those two… Jimin and Jungkook, they still call me that sometimes… it doesn’t feel the same anymore though, you know?” Jin frowned for a moment before shaking his head and smiling again.

“You know what else though? There was that time, in the middle of the summer, when you tried tickling me, only to find I wasn’t ticklish.” Jin laughed again “The look of horror on your face when I turned around to tickle you back still makes me laugh. You were a fast runner though; it took me five whole minutes of chasing you around the house to finally catch you.”

Jin looked over at the grave again, trying to keep the smile on his face.

“That chair broke by the way.” Jin started “The one that you would sit in and spin. God the thing squeaked so loudly when you did that. I remember I had to glare at you for like twenty minutes one time because you just wouldn’t stop.” He laughed. “I was planning on throwing it out but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it…”

“You sat on that chair when I got sick that time though.” Jin paused “You made soup, which you somehow burned but I didn’t complain, and sat in that chair while you read to me. You used those goofy voices that you liked to do and read for hours.” Jin chuckled to himself “I’m probably going to get sick from how long I’ve been you here in the snow…” he mumbled as he laid down.

“I remember how you just started leaving all your stuff in my apartment.” Jin remarked “And when I went to yours all you had there was like two shirts, a pair of pants, and a tooth brush. Even your shower stuff was at mine. I remember me telling you to just move in and stop wasting money on an empty apartment that was half way across town. To which you agreed to with a kiss.”

The snow stopped as Jin stared at the tree above him. He realized everything was freshly covered with snow and his foot prints that he made on his way to the grave earlier had disappeared.

“You know; I remember the first time you told me you loved me.” His voice cracked slightly at the memory.   “It was even less romantic than our first kiss.” He chuckled. “I remember that Namjoon had challenged me to a dance off, and you know me, I couldn’t refuse. And I twisted my ankle after my turn, as I was trying to sit back down.” He laughed “not while I was dancing, no, when I tried to sit. And you carried me on your back to the nearest drug store, laughing all the while. I wouldn’t let you wrap it for me though, I just had to do it myself. You called me a dork so many times that day. I remember that after my third failed attempt you forced me to let you do it. You were so fast at it too. You kissed my ankle and mumbled something, I couldn’t hear it. I remember that I wouldn’t stop asking until suddenly you got so annoyed that you just snapped and said ‘I said that I love you goddamn it!’ and then your hand flew up to your mouth, smacking your nose in the process.” Jin snickered “I remember that it took me almost three whole minutes to process my shock. And when I finally did I kissed your nose and told you I loved you back.”

The wind stopped at that point, and Jin wiped a spare tear from his eye.

“I remember when the guys first found out you and I were together they half of them were in shock and the other half didn’t believe us. They thought we were playing a prank!” Jin snorted. “They said that we made less sense as a couple than Jimin and Yoongi, and somehow the four of us ended up in a ‘better couple’ contest, even though those two weren’t even dating! I remember we won that contest, but somewhere along the way the two actually did end up in a relationship. That was kind of ironic, don’t you think Tae?” He stopped talking again, he knew he wasn’t going to get a response but he still felt the need. “I remember that Hoseok and Jungkook tried baking us a ‘congratulations’ cake but really it was just a mess. We ate it anyways though.”

“I remember when you promised me forever Taehyung. I remember that morning as if it were yesterday. I remember that I was making eggs when you walked into the kitchen with your adorable bed head and sleepy smile.  You were wearing my shirt and you had obviously only gotten up mere minutes before. I remember you coming up from behind me and hugging me loosely. I remember you mumbling something about how much you loved my cooking. You said something like ‘it’s so good I could just marry it.’ I remember that I said ‘you can’t marry my cooking, but you can marry me’ and you immediately tightened your hug. I didn’t realize what I had said until you asked if I was being serious. To be honest I was joking, but in the split second between me realizing what I said and me responding I decided that yes, I was actually very serious. I’m realizing now, that none of the things we did were very romantic. I wanted to be romantic Taehyung. I always thought ‘It’s ok, I will always have next time to be romantic, after all, we promised forever.’ But…” Jin stuttered as his eyes clouded with tears “But… That car crashed happened. That car ran that stupid red light and…” Jin choked down a sob “What happened to forever Taehyung? You’re missing out on the forever we promised. We were gonna have a wedding, weren’t we? All our friends were gonna be there, and we were gonna wear those stupidly uncomfortable suits. You wanted kids, right? Even if we had to adopt, you wanted kids so badly, and for good reason, you were so good with them.” Jim whimpered when he heard his voice crack “You promised me so many things Taehyung, why’d you have to leave? Where is the forever that we promised? It’s not fair, none of it is fair!” He didn’t even try to stifle is sobs this time. “You didn’t get to get married, or have kids… You didn’t even get to graduate from college goddamn it! It’s not fair!”

The clouds cleared up, and the sun started shining as Jin cried quietly over Taehyung’s grave.

“I miss you Taehyung.” He cried “I miss the way that you would sing no matter what mood you were in. I miss the way that you would absent mindedly mess with my fingers when we cuddled. I miss the way your hair felt between fingers, or on my cheek. I miss the way you would laugh at my awkward attempts at jokes. I miss the way you would try to cheer me up when I was in a bad mood and I miss how our bodies fitted together when we hugged. I miss how genuine you were with everything you said. I miss how easily entertained you were and how you were never afraid to say your opinion on anything and everything. I missed how every single time there was snow you would throw a snowball at me. And goddamn it all Taehyung, I miss how you stood on one of our dining room chairs whenever we argued!” He sobbed loudly. He was grateful that he was the only one at the cemetery. 

Sun was out and shining brightly, melting the snow as Jin began to calm down.

“I miss the forever we were going to have.” He croaked “And I remember all of the plans we made. I still love you Taehyung, forever and always.”

Jin stood up on shaky legs and wiped his tears. Suddenly snow from a branch on the tree falls and hits him, like a snow ball.

“You got me again…” Jin laughs as he brushes the snow off his shoulder, letting the tears roll down his face. “Nice shot, Tae.”

A/N: I'm so sorry 

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