"Yah!! Are you even listening to me??"

You realized you were spacing out again and gave your head a little shake, blinking hard. You turned to Jiwoo again. "I'm sorry what?"

Jung Jiwoo let out a tiny poof of a sigh and shook her head at you. "You're always spacing out nowadays Y/N, I swear. I said that I'll be going to see Hoseok tomorrow since he's on break." Despite her complaint, she smiled from excitement and took one of her dainty fingers to push a lock of hair behind her ear.

You looked out of the cafe window into the streets soaked from rain, and glanced back at Jiwoo. "That's pretty cool." you chuckled with a soft smile. "You haven't seen your brother in ages."

"It's been 6 weeks!! You know it's pretty boring lately since he's not at home anymore." She gave a little pout before suddenly leaning in towards you, her mood switching instantly, causing the table to shake and you almost jumped in surprise.

"Yah!!" You managed to yell as you tried to regain your composure.

"Hey hey," She whispered, although there was no one to listen in to the conversation- the cafe was too loud and busy to hear anything. "You wanna come too?? You haven't seen him in a while and I wanna see yall tease each other again." She gave an innocent smile but you pushed her away lightly, frowning.

"I couldn't, Jiwoo." You smiled sadly. "You know that."

"Why not?!" She gasped a bit too loud, causing the people sitting nearby to turn your way. "Don't you miss him? You haven't seen him in years.." She sighed a bit, as if in disappointment.

"It's not that," You paused to scan the people that are now looking away, but Jiwoo continued before you could speak again.

"Is it because of Seokjin, Y/N?" 

You were shocked at the sudden question, and your mouth fell open like a broken hinge. Is it? He hasn't come up into your mind for weeks already. 

"What? Uh, no. No it's not that Jiwoo." You fidgeted uncomfortably in your seat, not even sure of your answer yourself.

Jiwoo sat back again and crossed her arms, twitching her right eyebrow up like she always does when she doubts something. "So it is."

"AND DON'T YOU DARE DENY IT Y/N I KNOW IT'S HIM." She interrupted you as you begin to object. "Come on, Y/N." She grabbed your arm lightly and squeezed it. "I know you still care about him, and it hurts. But it'll be okay, I promise. I'll tell Hoseok to make sure he doesn't come if you really don't want to see him."

You didn't pull away from Jiwoo's hand as you pondered about the offer, and a tiny shard of your heart broke again as you recalled your past.

Whenever you do remember him, the memories start flowing back slowly, like a tiny trickle- When you first held his hand. When you first kissed. When he became a trainee under Bighit. When he said his final goodbyes, because he was finally going to debut. When you watched him on the screen for the first time, and seeing him perform brought tears to your eyes because you knew that he worked so hard to reach this milestone of his life, yet it still hurt because you weren't by his side to congratulate him.

It was actually through Jin that you were able to meet Jiwoo; Jin introduced you to Hoseok, and Hoseok introduced you to Jiwoo, who became your closest friend that you told everything to. Who you cried on when Jin left and who was now your supporting pillar now that Jin wasn't there to do it. 

It's been 3 years since then.

Maybe that's why you're scared to see him- because once you see him after all this time, maybe everything will come back like a waterfall instead of a trickle, and maybe you'll feel a hundred times more the pain you feel now. Just the thought of it gave you the shivers.

You shifted your attention back onto Jiwoo's pouting, worried eyes and furrowed your eyebrows. "You promise to tell him to not bring Seokjin."

Jiwoo's eyes widened and brightened like little suns and nodded enthusiastically. "Yes!! I promise Y/N. Let's go visit Hoseok, yeah?"

You nodded, smiling brightly as well. Just like Hoseok, Jiwoo's smiles were extremely contagious as well. "Sure, tomorrow right?"

"Yes! Thank you so much Y/N!!" Jiwoo leaped up from the table and scurried around it in her high heels to give you a hug. "I bet he'll love it hehe."

You smiled and hugged her back. "Me too."

--

"YAH IS THAT Y/N??" Hoseok's voice filled the room. His eyes widened and his mouth began to form a huge smile as you walked into the coffeeshop from behind Jiwoo.

"YES IT'S ME HOSEOK!!"

"AHHHHH Y/N-AH" Hoseok ran over to you and swept you into a crushing hug, jumping up and down before carrying you off your feet. "I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH IT'S BEEN SO LONG!" 

"I've missed you so much too oppa you don't even know.." You pouted and hugged him back tightly. It was really nice to see him again, and you remembered the happy times you enjoyed together at his house, with all of the members and jiwoo. And Seokjin.

You quickly erased the frown that began forming on your face as Hoseok released you from his embrace and showed you up the stairs. 

"This is my favorite coffeeshop," he exclaimed proudly. "I asked them to reserve one of the private rooms for us three so that none of my fans will bother us."

"Wah, Hoseok, you're the best." Jiwoo said. "You're so popular with the girls, you have to reserve private rooms for us. Yet you don't have a girlfriend." She mocked him and giggled as he turned around to retaliate. 

"Are you saying I'm not a gentleman Jung Jiwoo?? I'm perfectly capable of being a gentleman okay? I'm very manly." He flicked her lightly on the forehead before continuing to lead the way. "I shouldn't date when I'm an idol anyway because-"

"Yes, yes we know, Hoseok." She cut him off and glanced at you a little nervously. Hoseok stopped abruptly as well and stay silent.

You ignored them. Did they not know that you noticed what they were doing? Sometimes they act so sensitive towards you when it comes to idol relationships that it's annoying.

Hoseok led you and Jiwoo up to a door at the end of the hall on the second floor, and opened the door for you. You all sat down and a lady came to take your order, and you ordered a caramel macchiato. 

As you were waiting for your drinks, Hoseok began to start up the conversation again. 

"So Y/N," he began. "what's been up with you?"

"Oh I'm fine," you answered. "College hasn't been too stressful, and my part time job at Tous les Jours pays me well enough. I've learned how to bake some too." You smiled. "And you?"

"Aish you don't even know Y/N." he gave an exasperated sigh and leaned back on the back legs of his chair. "I had a world tour and then a recent comeback. There was months and months of just working and traveling. This was my first break since more than a year ago."

He paused because the waitress came in with the drinks and continued once she left. 

"Even though we've been gaining popularity we're still pretty isolated from the other groups. It's pretty sad." Despite the depressing comment he smiled and took a tiny sip of his americano. "But at least one of the members was lucky enough to get a hookup-"

"nO WAY-" Jiwoo cut him off the minute she heard that and stood up abruptly. "SOMEONE IN BTS IS DATING?? BUT I DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT IT ON THE NEWS??"

Hoseok blinked once. "Not all of the idols dating are caught in scandals. Just a few are." 

"And by the way," he added. "Please don't tell anyone about it, because we really can't afford to get more hate than we already have." He sighed deeply and looked down sadly.

You felt a tinge of suspicion in your mind, and voice your thoughts. "Wait a minute, who is the member that's dating? Taehyung?"

Hoseok opened his mouth, then closed it as if to stop himself, and he buried his head in his hands. 

"Oh my god," he muffled through his fists. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm so sorry."

"What?" You feel an wave of nervousness travel throughout your body. "What is it? Tell me."

Hoseok peeked out from behind his hands so that you can only see his eyes. You began to wonder if you regretted asking. 

Hoseok looked away as he began to speak, and his voice cracked slightly.

"The person that's dating is Seokjin hyung."