"Appa."

A soft voice calling him in the middle of the night. Junmyeon slowly opened his sleepy eyes and yawned slightly. He called his little daughter and patted the empty space on his bed.

"Come." He opened his arms; ready to embrace his little daughter. He knew the little girl is scared of the dark room when she suddenly woke up in the middle of her sleep. Junmyeon had so much difficulties to make his little girl to sleep at her own bedroom. It had been like 2 weeks for Junmyeon to solace his daughter that starting to sleep in her own bedroom meant that she is getting bigger and valid to become a princess. Somehow, he felt like he was going to lost his patience but to think that the little girl only has him in this world, he cooled down and trying to teach her softly.

"Kim Yerim, this is the last night where you can sleep with appa. Tomorrow you need to sleep alone in your bedroom. Even little Ki Joon is already sleeping in his own bedroom." Ki Joon is his nephew and Yerim's cousin. Yerim was just staring to his face with her big round eyes. The eyes that looked so much like her. He smiled as he slowly hugging his daughter.

She looks so much like you day by day, Juhyeon-ah. I couldn't even say no when she came to our room every night with her round eyes. It will be so much easier for me is you are still here. Mothers are always firm with decision and I. I just a 딸바보.

*딸바보 - 딸(Tal) means a daughter. 바보(Babo) means a fool or a stupid person. If those words come together, that means a person who adores/ is crazy about/can do anything for his or her daughter. 

*******************************
Junmyeon was so busy from the early morning because today is the first day of Yerim to go to to school. He ironed the uniform and even heated the breakfast that Kyungsoo sent over to his house. The main vocal still can't trust his leader in kitchen even after he got married and having kid.

"Yerimmie..." Junmyeon nudged the little girl's body slowly. His daughter groaned slightly as her disapproval not to wake up from her deep sleep so early.

"That is why I said last night, you need to sleep early and stop watching Barbie. You like it or not, I will abduct your TV and all the DVDs." He was stern when it came to his daughter's behaviour. Being a single dad was tired but he felt like she was there helping him in a hidden way. He felt like his daughter is the carbon copy of him when it comes to behaviour and the way of thinking.

The journey to school was filled with various questions from Yerim. From why he can't bring along her Barbie dolls to either Jongin's twins will come to the school like him or not. Junmyeon answered all of his questions with patience, explaining that Barbie dolls only can be played when she is at home and already complete her homework and how small the twins to come to school. Yerim pouted. Junmyeon realised that Yerim was forever having soft spot in her heart to Jongin's family like how he has that soft spot for Jongin.

The registration went smoothly except he can't stand seeing Yerim's face that hiddenly asking him why all of the children came with their parents and not her. He clenched the small hands, ensured to her that everything is alright.

Today is the first day of Yerim going to school. We were kinda late because I struggle to tie her hair into pigtails. Maybe we should make Soojung ties her hair after this. She was so strong when she saw only her that had not bring along her mother, facing the truth that she was special. I hope you are here with me, Juhyeon-ah. I acted like I am the strongest man in the world but actually I am not. I promised I will take care of her and make she feels like she has everything in this world.

***********************************
The rain stopped when they were halfway to the cemetery. Today is her birthday. Her 43rd birthday. It meant that already 10 years she left him alone with a newborn baby. The newborn baby already grew up as a pretty little girl that is so good in her school.

"Umma, we come!" Yerim greeted her mother cheerfully. maybe because she never saw her in her life, she was not so in pain when they come to visit. Junmyeon looked around the place. He noticed that it was full with her favourite flower and notes from her fans. He still remember how shock her fans was when they got to know about her death when she delivered Yerim's birth. Junmyeon stil remembered that how gloomy he was because he couldn't accept the fate.

Yerim was too immersed talking and telling the mute tombstone as if she was talking to her mother. Excitedly showing her report card and her achievements as if Juhyeon can see it. Junmyeon just sat there, having that determination not to disturb the mother-daughter moment. From the beginning, Junmyeon already taught Yerim that her mother were already gone to the heaven. She needs to live with her father only unlike Ki Joon and those kids from her EXO's uncles. He was thankful to her family for letting him to bury her body at Seoul and not Daegu. His parents in law was so thoughtful as they were also think much alike him.

Since Yerim was a baby, he will never forget to bring her to meet her mother on her birthday. Junmyeon will bring along their favourite wine as the present. He wanted Yerim to grow up with the feeling of Juhyeon is always beside her. Maybe he was selfish but Juhyeon shall be important to Yerim as much as how important she is to him.

"Appa." Yerim broke the silence in the car

"Yes, Yerim. Why?"

"Uncle Jonghyun said to me that i look so much like you. Am i, appa?'

Junmyeon nodded. He can see that Yerim pouted.

"I am a girl. I shall look like umma not you. You is a boy. People will call me boy in school. I am a princess, you know? Princess should look like a girl."

"Not like that, princess. People will not say it like that. I believed that so much. Besides, didn't umma look like me? It means you look like us. No one will ever question you if you are the real daughter of ours or not. "

"Ah~ Uncle Jongin said that umma was so pretty when she was young. Everyone liked her back then"

Junmyeon just smiled to Yerim. Maybe it is the time to tell her that her mother was once an idol that is so popular.

Happy birthday, Juhyeon-ah. It was already 10 years since you left me behind. Yerim grew up as a good girl even though she sometimes behaved like a brat. I wanted to be stern to him but it is very difficult. I spoiled her everyday, the boys spoiled her even more. Am I doing a good job to raise her alone? Are you proud of me yet?

************************************************

Juhyeon...

Today, our Yerim had taken a huge leap in her life. She is now a grown-up woman. I must admit that I sweated like hell today. When I fetched her from school, she told me that she had stomach-ache. I was wondering if I cooked the dinner last night wrongly but then, I was doing fine. After we arrived home, she ran to her bedroom and put all her stuff away before we went out to the my parents' house as Yerim said she missed her grandparents and suddenly I heard her screaming like someone dangered her. I was so scared that maybe someone wanted to harm Yerim and quickly ran to her bedroom. Luckily, she didn't lock her door but there is no Yerim in sight. I heard such load sobs from the bathroom and Yerim's mumblings about something related to blood and "I might die soon". I kept knocking the door but she didint open the door. I was so closed to broke the door so I could see what actually happened in there. It was such a panic moment and I decided to call Soojung. Luckily, Soojung was in Seoul. She freaking laughed at me and promised to come in 15 minutes. 

"This is why you need to remarry, oppa. Yerim is having her first period and definitely she needs a mother figure arounds her to explain things. Luckily, I was in Seoul but happened if I don't? Of course, you won't call your mother to help." Soojung nagged on me after she left Yerim's bedroom. 

"Yerim has reached her puberty. She will become more sensitive and there will be more things that she won't share with you. If you find it is difficult to deal with Yerim, call me or Seulgi. I might not be around everytime, so try to call Seulgi. Don't forget to buy sanitary pad. Don't buy tampon. She is just 12."

I was so thankful. Everyone arounds me want to help me but why do I feel that our daughter will distance herself from me after this? She will have boyfriend, moving out and leave me alone. How I wish I should follow you before. 

************************************************

"How long will you wear that ring, Junmyeonnie?" Minseok questioned him one day. Junmyeon just sit in silence, playing with the wedding band that he believed was so sacred and the only way for his soul to feel connected tor her.

"I believed that Yerim is already 12 years old. It is the time for you to move on, find a decent woman that can help you to take care of you and Yerim together. A woman that can make Yerim as her own daughter, leader-nim. Look around you, now."

Junmyeon looked around the hall. Today is their annually gathering of SMTown family. It was not like they are still idols like they used to be but the strong bond between them made them still contacting each other. He can see Jongdae's ever growing clan running around and Jongin's cute twins playing with Chanyeol's son and Sehun's kids. He tried to search for Yerim among those kids but she was not there. He stood up from his table and searched thoroughly. Later, he found that Yerim was seating with Seohyun. Seohyun just divorced with her husband not long before with no children. He saw that Seohyun took care of Yerim like how a mother takes care of her daughter. He felt that his daughter was so comfortable around her. Maybe Minseok was right. He shall not being selfish towards Yerim. Yerim needs to grow up in a complete family surround