Author's Notes: 

TOPcorn - Happy New Year, kids! vocalo behb and I figured we would slap you in the face with some fluffy ToDae feels to wrap 2015 up okay and hopefully boot 2016 off to a good start too, at like 3am in the morning whilst we giggled over ridiculous offenses against the English language that we played with. I HOPE YOU LIKE. Massive massice thank you to Tabismouse for beta-ing and putting up with our various shenanigans which was probably the best thing to happen to her, let's be real. 

vocalo-genesis - [no comment made, as the poor darling is super unwell today. You all should totally send her some love! -TOPcorn]

New Year's day.
For us, it begins yet another chapter in the tragically short book of our lives. On this day, we are given 365 blank pages on which we are to write our future. It’s a time of resolutions and revelations; an opportunity to  reflect on ourselves as we continue to pursue happiness as we travel on this personal journey. On New Year’s day, the possibilities given to us are endless as we shake off our previous demons of the year before.
Choi Seunghyun, however, chose to spend it sulking in a beanbag.
 

In his defense, he had a perfectly validated reason to be pouting in the middle of his cramped dorm room. His tiny brain had ruined what could have been a perfect New Year’s Eve, trapped reliving the horrible cliche of ‘the one that got away’.
Thankfully, he was given no time to reflect on the night’s previous events as his roommate came stumbling through the door, limbs crashing about before he fully emerged and stumbled onto the nearest bed.
“Welcome home,” Seunghyun muttered dryly, earning an unceremonious groan of misery . It took a few moments for Kyung to respond, the younger male slowly turning around to face the pouty teen.
“My head's killin’ me, just shoot me please,” Kyung whimpered, earning a scoff from his friend. How Seunghyun wished that his only problem was sporting a horrendous hangover.

“You look like a wreck, and you reek too. Just what did you get up to last night?” Seunghyun inquisitioned, however he was already aware of the answer.

Park Kyung was a predictable man.

The brunette couldn’t suppress a grin as he sat up slowly, trying to will away his pounding headache as he rubbed light circles behind his head.
“What do you think? I got outrageously drunk and spent the rest of the night with a rather fabulous lady. You should have seen her. She had the most perfect , man,” Kyung bragged as he made rather crude gestures with his hands. Seunghyun simply shook his head; Kyung’s obsession with mindless ual escapades escaped him completely.
“So why do you look so stiff? Don’t tell me you didn’t even get laid?” Kyung asked with a light laugh, earning a rather poisonous glare from his elder. “Damn, what happened last night dude?”

Seunghyun sighed lightly as he contemplated the question; where did he even begin to answer?

Unlike his roommate, he was more than capable of having a night out where he drank enough to enjoy himself and remain aware of his actions the next morning. For once, he wondered if he shouldn’t have taken the more reckless route, the evening’s events cycling through his mind with growing persistence. He wasn’t big on parties, avoiding them when he could and begrudgingly trudging along when he felt obliged, and that was how he’d ended up at some house party hosted by one of Kyung’s obnoxious friends, feeling a little more than out of his depth. He’d clung to the walls and the punch bowl, picking at the spread of snacks across a buffet table, and tried to look as inconspicuous as possible. Somehow, however, that had drawn attention to him, and he was approached by a man he’d never met before, finding himself pinned in place by a soft gaze and a welcoming smile.

“Not big on parties?” The man had asked softly, curiously, with a red cup in hand that was only half empty - half full? - either way Seunghyun had looked at it, the man was apparently not a heavy drinker either.

“Am I that obvious?” Seunghyun had murmured, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck as he smiled down into his own cup, the contents sloshing a little against the sides as he shifted awkwardly on his feet.

“It’s okay,” The other had offered, raising his cup for Seunghyun to toast against, “Me neither. To the introverts of the world.”

Seunghyun could easily drink to that.

The man, it turned out, was named Daesung, and although neither had drunk much prior to meeting, the pair easily falling into conversation as they made their way to the bottom of each plastic cup in turn. It felt like it had been years since Seunghyun had made a connection like this, and although he was willing to place some blame on the alcohol, he was well aware that the flush across his cheeks and the nervous flutters in his stomach may be more than base inebriation. One drink had turned into two, into four, into a number higher than Seunghyun’s sluggish brain had managed to keep a tab on, before Daesung had been rowdily pulled away by a weedy little man with glasses who looked like he probably wasn’t old enough to even be drinking. It wasn’t until he’d left, Seunghyun dwelling on the sudden silence and the lack of engaging conversation, that he realised he had never asked for his number, his facebook, his  twitter. Daesung had vanished into the air and taken a little part of Seunghyun with him.

Now, in the present, with his hungover roommate peering at him across the space of their quarters, the ache of regret was settling like a physical weight across his chest.

“Nothing happened last night,” Seunghyun answered finally, too much honesty in his words for his own comfort. Nothing had happened, not really, and yet, everything had all happened at once.

“I’m not surprised. Man, you’re such a prude,” Kyung lamented, drawing Seunghyun out of what was probably his 86th flashback of that night. He sighed as he sunk further into his state of regret; with only Kyung’s occasional groan to bring him back into reality on that rather uneventful New Year’s day.

The year flew by for Seunghyun. Thankfully, the constant onslaught of college studies had kept him relatively grounded. His social life had been naught, and regretfully so had his love life. He had never found his mystery man, no matter how hard he tried. Not even social media had been able to turn up even a single result. Eventually, he gave up trying to find Daesung. Seunghyun almost settled on the theory that the other didn’t even exist; that it was just a drunken hallucination he’d conjured up. Even if Daesung was real, the other clearly hadn’t felt the same appeal as Seunghyun. Yet still for entire year, Seunghyun yearned for just one more chance to see Daesung again. If given a miracle, he would say everything left unsaid that night. Seunghyun was smitten, to say the least.

So when New Year’s eve had inevitably rolled around once again, Seunghyun found himself slumped on his bed in a state of grief; the day of celebration only made memories of that nearly perfect night resurface. He could have laid there all night brooding if his phone hadn’t begun to vibrate next to his head. As soon as he saw the name that flashed on the screen, he almost didn’t want to answer.
“Yeah?” Seunghyun answered the phone with his predictable unenthusiasm.
“Yo, Kyungie told me that you’re being a real stick in the mud. Come out and party with me,” Zico responded enthusiastically, undeterred by Seunghyun’s salty behaviour. Seunghyun had become acquainted with Kyung’s friend over the course of the year, but preferred his personality in small doses. Zico could be overwhelming company sometimes. He could only imagine what the younger got up to on New Year’s eve.
“Pass, thanks for the offer though,” He said with a large sigh as he cemented himself on his bed.
“Aw come on, why such a drag? Come have some fun!” Zico whined, and Seunghyun could practically see the childish pout the blond was probably pulling right now. At that, Seunghyun promptly hung up. The last thing he wanted to do was have to force himself out of bed and try to have fun. There was only one person he wanted to spend his New Year’s with and that man had slipped through his fingers one year ago today.

“Man, what’s his problem?” Zico muttered as he continued to look at his phone. He quickly shrugged off Seunghyun’s cold behaviour; he had plenty of contacts anyway.

Daesung sighed and prodded at the lettuce leaves before him, the remaining fragments of a poorly made salad that he hadn’t had the heart to spruce up beyond the basics.

“Not to interfere,” Taeil offered quietly, as he sat himself down beside his hyung with a soup laden tray, “but you probably wouldn’t sigh as much if you added a little meat to your diet.”

“Is that scientifically proven?” Daesung asked dryly, and Taeil grinned, shark like in his amusement.

“If it gets you to stop eating rabbit food, I could say yes?”

“Don’t you have somebody else to annoy?” Daesung teased, and Taeil playfully shoved him in the shoulder as he scooped a spoonful of chicken broth into his mouth with a frankly obnoxious slurp.

Daesung loved his friend, he really, truly did. It was a fact he reminded himself of on multiple occasions every time he spent time in Taeil’s presence, and a mantra for dealing with him when he was at his most difficult.

If Daesung were honest, he perhaps held a little lingering resentment towards the younger, blaming him in part for one of his biggest regrets to date. It was a year ago to the day that Taeil had drunkenly stumbled towards Daesung, tugging on his hand and pulling him away from the first decent conversation that Daesung had had in months, only to herd him into a taxi for a late night miso run that Daesung hadn’t wanted nor agreed to. When Taeil had been violently ill on the way back to the party, Daesung had taken him home and put him to bed, trying desperately to put the lingering sense that he had missed an important opportunity to rest with him.  

He’d spent the better part of the next 365 days trying to convince himself that he wasn’t missing a thing.

Daesung picked and plucked at his salad as Taeil slurped at his soup, before the younger pulled his phone from his pocket to take a call, chattering away as Daesung let himself drift back into the recesses of his mind. He’d barely had enough time to zone out completely, before Taeil was tugging on his arm and shoving his phone into Daesung’s palm, grinning as he returned to his bowl and Daesung frowned in confusion.

“Hello?”

“Heyyy Dae, how’s it going?” a familiar voice floated down the line and it took a beat for Daesung to register, before he smiled into the phone and stabbed at a stray cherry tomato with a little more vigour than was probably necessary.

“Hey Zico, what’s up?”

“Got a party tonight, and Taeillie was telling me you’re a little down in the dumps,” Zico prattled away, as Daesung shot Taeil a glare and the younger lifted a shoulder in a nonchalant shrug.

“A party?” Daesung parroted back, ignoring the second part of the statement as Taeil prodded at a floating lump of chicken and did a terrible job of pretending not to eavesdrop.

“Yeah man, for New Years?” Zico prompted, and a swift roll of nausea churned through him, an all too familiar ache settling across his bones as he pushed the thought of Seunghyun from his mind and forced a smile.

“Could be fun,” He offered, tone light, and watched as Taeil’s grin grew decidedly sharp and disturbingly cunning.

Zico rattled off details then, and Daesung gave the younger his new number so that they could speak in future without the interference of Taeil and his prying, Zico promising to text the details as well, in case Daesung ‘conveniently forgot’.

“I’ll be there,” Daesung huffed a laugh, fighting back an eye roll as he languidly chewed on the leaves in his mouth. After all, he reasoned, New Years meant new beginnings, and perhaps he might find one tonight that did not curve against the silhouette of Seunghyun’s fleeting and long gone presence. Daesung ended the call, shoved the phone back at Taeil, and conveniently stuffed his mouth full of salad so he wasn’t able to reply to any of Taeil’s immediately probing questions.

Seunghyun had spent the remainder of his night doing what any sad individual spent doing on New Year’s; he stalked social media to pry on everyone else’s fun. He sighed as he flickered through each platform; every post was all the same thing. Everyone was getting drunk and having a good time, while Seunghyun remained a pathetic slump of a person as he spent his night alone. He sighed to himself as he switched from twitter to instagram, flicking through filtered photos of flashy New Yyear’s food and blurry selfies. Although he almost fell off of his bed as he stopped on one of Zico’s many obnoxious posts. He read that comment over and over again, as if some ridiculous turn of fate had just fallen into his palms in the form of a poorly written instagram post.

‘gettin’ turnt up with the boiss!!’ However it  wasn’t the offensive onslaught of emoji’s that caught Seunghyun’s attention. It was the company Zico was keeping.

Because one of them was Daesung.

Zico knew Daesung.

Seunghyun shot up out of bed, the sudden realisation hitting him. He padded around the room aimlessly for a few moments, not knowing how to act on this miraculous new information. It took him a few moments to regain control of his body, flicking through his contacts before stopping on Zico’s name.
He held his phone to his ear as he waited for the younger to pick up, but it eventually rang out. Seunghyun looked down at his phone with a puzzled expression as he made note of the time. It was just shy of 11:30, so Zico was probably dying in a gutter by now.
His heart was doing somersaults as he felt Daesung slipping from his grasp yet again, but he was determined to meet the other again.

He practically prayed as he switched all his hope to Kyung.

That’s right, his one hope of happiness was relying on Park Kyung.

The call had nearly rung out, but to his surprise, the younger actually answered.

“Seunghyun!” Seunghyun had at least assumed that’s what Kyung was trying to say -  the younger was nearly unintelligible by this point.
“Kyung, I know you’re at Zico’s. Where is the party located?” Seunghyun had tried his hardest to say the words slowly and clearly, but he was more than certain that half of his words weren’t being picked up.
“Zico? he’s right over there somewhere,” Kyung slurred drunkenly, as Seunghyun ran a hand down his face in near frustration.
“The party, Kyung. Where is the party?” His patience was running thin by this point, as he was sure that he had missed his opportunity thanks to his faced friends.

“Hello?” Seunghyun heard a new voice enter the conversation, though it was hard to tell who it was with all the background noise. Kyung had probably gone and handed his phone to the nearest stranger. Seunghyun could hear him in the background trying to explain the situation to the poor person.
“Sorry, I just need to know where the party is,” Seunghyun responded awkwardly as he shifted on his feet, suddenly desperate to get moving.
“Oh, no problems. It’s 18 Cobalt Drive.”

Seunghyun wanted to kiss the sober stranger at that moment, as he already began to make a move for the door.
“Thank you, you really saved me,” He said gratefully, before hanging up as he made his way out.

Daesung shrugged as the call ended, before handing the phone back to Kyung.
“Thanks, Daesungie!” Kyung yelled as he pulled the elder into a tight embrace before pinching at his cheek playfully.
“I don’t know why I agree to come to these parties,” Daesung practically whined to himself as the younger continued to swing off of him. However, it truly fell upon deaf ears, Kyung beyond help by this point. Still, Daesung had wanted a distraction and the opportunity for something new, and he had at least gotten half of that. Try as he might, however, his mind was lingering on Seunghyun and opportunities missed, as he stared into the bottom of his cup and willed it to refill itself. Perhaps alcohol really was the answer in some cases.

He side stepped a table by the wall, where a slew of people were crowded to watch Taeil and Zico verse each other in the sloppiest game of beer pong that Daesung had seen, and snuck back to his familiar haunt of the buffet table. He leaned against the wall and let out another soft sigh, staring idly at the ceiling as he reclined and allowed the wall to prop him upright. He side eyed the table, another pang of familiar longing lancing through him, remembering the way that Seunghyun’s eyes had lit up as they discussed their favourite bands, their hobbies, their dreams. He could only imagine that the same intensity and life in Seunghyun’s eyes had been absorbed and reflected from his own.
 

Connections to others were not so easy to come by for Daesung, and as he shifted his gaze to drift across the group of ragtag individuals occupying the space around him, he didn’t like his chances of it happening any time tonight. He flicked a glance at his watch. 11:50. Ten minutes until the ball dropped on another year of mediocrity and strained human interaction, and Daesung would see a new one in with a half drunk cup of punch and an empty spot in his heart that had only been filled for a few hours and still ached to be complete once more. He filled his cup, grabbed a few nuggets from the table and idly chewed on them, flicking a glance at his watch again as the time inched closer to midnight. He chanced a glance across the room again, and he nearly dropped his punch as his roving gaze settled on a figure, stepping through the door, that he had given up hope of ever seeing again.

Seunghyun’s eyes scanned the room, barely able to see anything through the terrible lighting and the throng of people gathered by Zico, apparently making a complete of himself in a match of beer pong. His breath snagged in his lungs, however, rattling through his chest and rendering him immobile as his eyes settled on an achingly familiar gaze across the room. His lips quirked, just a little, and a pleased thrum of encouragement itched beneath his skin when Daesung smiled back - a little shy, but nothing short of welcoming. Seunghyun’s heart beat hard within his chest, nervous anticipation skittering through him as the crowd caught note of the time on the nearby wall clock, and a countdown began.

“10! 9! 8!” the slurred cries carried through the room, ringing through Seunghyun’s ears as he wove and ducked, slithering his way through every obstacle between him and his goal, exhilaration and a little disbelief driving him forward.

They were on 3 when Seunghyun reached him, 2 when he raised hands to cradle Daesung’s face in his fingers, and 1 when Daesung in a sharp breath, eyes immediately dropping closed as Seunghyun swayed into his space.

Seunghyun didn’t even hear the ringing in of the New Year, the sound of his heart pounding in his ears drowning out everything else, the cloying scent of Daesung’s cologne flooding his senses and tugging him into an urgency he was struggling to stay afloat on. His mouth shifted, dipped, a tongue sweeping out and coaxing across Daesung’s lips, as the other’s hands slid around his waist, pulling Seunghyun closer as if he feared he would disappear on the wind. Seunghyun’s fingers shifted and slid, catching on Daesung’s hair as he tilted his head back and drank like a man parched.

Daesung swayed closer, let Seunghyun’s hands guide him and mold him to his frame, filling the cracks that Daesung had long since considered shattered beyond repair. They pulled back breathless and aching, foreheads resting against each other’s as they exchanged breaths and unspoken relief in the space between them.

“Hi,” Seunghyun breathed, hands coming to rest at Daesung’s waist and idly at the strip of bare skin they found there, smile giddy and heart thudding erratically.

“Hi,” Daesung murmured back, heart racing as he nosed at Seunghyun’s cheek and let out a shuddered breath.

“Happy New Year, Daesung,” Seunghyun murmured, voice low and intimate, and Daesung leaned back in for another kiss, thinking that perhaps, with recent turns of events, it may very well be.

A/N: Ridiculous offences to the English language -

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