WARNINGS/RATINGS ARE IN THE FORWARD

HELLO! uRGGHHH so I was going to wait for it to be Kyungsoo's birthday in my timezone (it's still the 11th here!) but I figured it's only four hours away AND its already the 12th in Korea so why not post it now??? Plus I couldn't wait!

 I HAVE RETURNED AT LAST THOUGH. blegh. Having said that, I am right in the middle of a ton of exams (im dying over here!) so Im kinda on a mini hiatus. 

EITHER WAY I DON'T REALLY LIKE THIS. I FEEL LIKE IT DOESN'T LIVE UP TO EXPECTATIONS AND THERES JUST SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT OK DON'T JUDGE ME.

I actually tried to proofread this for you all! I probably failed because IM LAZY AF but i tried ;) 

ALSO I DONT KNOW WHEN I'LL UPDATE THE KAISOO DAY FIC THAT MIGHT BE KAISOO DAY MY TIME TBH BECAUSE i HAVEN'T READ THROUGH IT YET!!! It'll be up asap though i promise. 

EW, before I start to ramble HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYUNGSOO BABY CAKE <333

and i hope you enjoy this birthday fic for him (alhthough its a few hours early for me!)  ;) 

 

 

Kyungsoo sniffles as he hears Baekhyun hammering on the cubicle door. “Soo, Soo please come out.”

Baekhyun sounds close to tears himself but Kyungsoo can’t face him.

He knows that Chanyeol is likely to be out there as well, and that’s two too many people Kyungsoo can bear to see at the moment.

“Kyungsoo, I’m sorry. If I’d been in class I would have... oh Soo, please come out.” Luhan’s voice sings softly through the crack in the door. Kyungsoo can see Sehun’s scuffed brogues from the gap under the door as well.

Kyungsoo sits on the closed toilet seat and pulls his knees up to his chest as best he can, wiping the tears away with the back of his hand. Stupid swimming lessons, Kyungsoo thinks glumly to himself. Why do seventeen year olds need swimming lessons anyway? It’s because of those dratted swimming lessons that he finds himself curled up in a grimy bathroom stall with tears down his face and an uncomfortable knot in his tummy.

Kyungsoo isn’t fat; he’s just a little on the chubby side. Of course, being just slightly on the chubby side is no matter to teenage boys who already hate you for your pasty skin, too large eyes and, obviously, the age-old complication of being gay. Walking out on to the side of the pool wobbling just like jelly certainly does not put you in a favourable position; it leaves you bare to the howls and cackles and pointed fingers and cruel words.

Kyungsoo is used to this treatment; he’s had it every day since he first started school. Kyungsoo tried to keep his head high. He really did. He stumbled on the edge of the pool, was subjected to more humiliation and then scurried back to get changed, ignoring the scrawls of ‘gay boy’ chalked on the back of his blazer.

Luhan’s right. Maybe if he had been in lesson today everything would have been ok. Luhan’s a pretty exchange Chinese exchange student, and everyone loves the exchange students. No one would say mean things to Kyungsoo when Luhan was there, because they all want to be his friend. Unfortunately, Luhan had a tutoring class and therefore only Baekhyun was left to defend Kyungsoo, a task that even his sharp wit and fiery tongue could not accomplish.

So Kyungsoo sits in his bathroom stall and snivels to himself, waiting for everyone to get bored of him and leave so he can crawl to the receptionist and ask to be allowed home.

“Soo?” A voice cuts through Kyungsoo’s thoughts and he pales. “Soo it’s me. Can—can I come in?”

It’s Jongin. Kyungsoo can see the bend of his knees underneath the door frame and he can almost feel the gentle press of Jongin’s hand against the cold plastic. Guilt rises in his throat as Kyungsoo hears the pained tint to his words.

Kyungsoo doesn’t even think twice as he gently slides the bolt across the door, opening it a crack to catch a glimmer of tanned skin and worried eyes. He sees his friends slowly slide out of the toilets over Jongin’s shoulder, leaving them be for a while.

Jongin leaps forwards and pushes his way into the stall straight away, closing the door behind him. Jongin is Kyungsoo’s painfully attractive best friend and long-term secret crush. He’s one of the very few people Kyungsoo trusts entirely, and the fact he’s now huddled in the stall with Kyungsoo is testament to that fact.

Jongin doesn’t say anything else; he just opens his arms and gathers Kyungsoo up as tightly as he can and pets his hair. It’s becoming a painfully common experience for him. Kyungsoo’s bullies never seem to give in, and the boy has long since lost count of the times he’s been called to comfort a sobbing Kyungsoo, usually hiding in the bathrooms or in the dust behind the art block. Where he belongs, the bullies cackle.

 Jongin whispers reassurances into Kyungsoo’s ear as the boy sobs into his chest, doing his very best to hold everything together. They’ve been best friends since Kyungsoo was five and Jongin was four and Jongin has wished and hoped and prayed every night that something will be done to help Kyungsoo.

The teachers know of the bullying, but even they can’t do anything to stop it. It’s not just one small group that torture Kyungsoo, its most of the school pupils. They spy an easy target, and then use them as a scapegoat to turn the attention from themselves. Cruel, terribly so, but that’s just what happens.

Jongin pulls back a while later and brushes Kyungsoo’s hair out of his eyes. He’s well aware that it’s a far more intimate gesture than necessary but he’s long off caring, he just wants Kyungsoo to be ok.

“Come on. We can both leave early today; we can have a movie marathon back at mine.” Jongin says, desperately trying to keep his eyes bright.

Kyungsoo looks unsure. He really just feels like curling up into a ball on his own and sobbing but he knows Jongin won’t let him.

“The others aren’t outside anymore you know, we’re safe to leave. Even if they were still waiting, they wouldn’t laugh at you. We’re all your friends; we’re not influenced by anyone else. We like you just as you are.” Jongin hums gently.

Kyungsoo snivels once more before he’s nodding and smiling thinly. “I suppose you’re right. Can we just go home now?”

Jongin wordlessly leads Kyungsoo out of the bathrooms, hands on his waist. They walk down the corridor together, mercifully empty as everyone else is in classes again.

Kyungsoo’s always feels safe with Jongin, because like Luhan, Jongin is well liked for his handsome appearance, kind personality, exceptional dance talent and starring role on the school football team. He is frequently questioned over why he stays friends with Kyungsoo but he brushes away every question and never fails to be by Kyungsoo’s side.

Jongin is such a good friend. He’d be such a good boyfriend as well, but unfortunately for Kyungsoo their relationship just isn’t like that.

There are far prettier faces in the crowd for Jongin, popular girls and boys with swishy hair, pouty lips and long eyelashes. Painfully thin figures, perfect eyesight and dainty features. Everything Kyungsoo is not.

Everyone loves Jongin. Kyungsoo is just one among many.

***

Kyungsoo clutches his tube of Pringles like a life line as Jongin returns to the living room with a bundle of DVDs.

“I blame Seulgi for making you an addict.” He grumps as he spies the tube, ignoring Kyungsoo’s death glare.

“Seulgi has good taste, don’t blame her.” Kyungsoo hits right back and there is a small smile on his face, one that only comes from being with Jongin.

Jongin snorts. “No she hasn’t. We played truth or dare at dance last week and she said I was the least attractive member of the team. She even said Taemin—Taemin—was better looking than me.” Jongin looks positively scandalised, shaking his head as he pops the first DVD into the side of the TV.

“He is though.” Kyungsoo fakes innocence and Jongin gapes.

“Do Kyungsoo! How very dare you! You know I thought we were friends Soo, I thought we had something special.” Jongin sulks as he flicks the light out and plonks himself down on the sofa with a thud, making Kyungsoo bounce a little at the other end.

Kyungsoo’s gut fizzes a little at Jongin’s words. Maybe they do have something special. Jongin didn’t mean it like that, of course, but Kyungsoo can dream.

“Hey, pass us a Pringle!” Jongin yells poking the side of Kyungsoo’s belly.

Kyungsoo squirms away from the touch, embarrassed that Jongin would get anywhere near his flab and blushes profusely. “I won’t give you one if you keep poking me.”

“Aww Soo... you wouldn’t do that to me, would you?” Jongin tilts his head to the side like the adorable little puppy that he is and blinks adoringly.

Kyungsoo’s tummy flip flops so deliciously that he has a hard time stopping his mouth crinkling up into that pathetic, love drunk smile that Jongin so easily provokes in him. He surrenders the Pringles tube with a roll of his eyes (a desperate attempt to divert attention from the ever present blush on his cheeks) and Jongin takes it with a small ‘Yay!’ eyes turning into crescents and cheek dimpling on one side.

Kyungsoo stares at Jongin for a while before realising what he’s doing and quickly snaps his head to look at the TV. The title screen plays on a loop until Jongin presses play and Kyungsoo can finally finally relax because Jongin is no longer looking at him.

Jongin’s mum Hyoyeon comes home sometime when they’re halfway through the first movie and smiles a little unsurely at seeing Kyungsoo curled up on the couch. Jongin’s mother is an incredibly perceptive woman and she knows of the trouble Kyungsoo has at school.

Kyungsoo smiles at her when she comes in to say hi and her face brightens considerably. She deems that Kyungsoo is ok and even brings them a bowl of popcorn to share before she heads upstairs to finish some work in her office.

The bowl rests between them on the sofa and Kyungsoo and Jongin blindly shove handfuls in their mouths, with Kyungsoo incredibly grateful that the lights are down so his hamster face isn’t exposed.

 It’s about the fifth time Kyungsoo goes to dig into the bowl when his hand collides with Jongin’s. Kyungsoo freezes and his eyes widen to near-creepy level and he stares blankly at the screen in front of him.

Jongin, it seems, has no care that the backs of their hands are touching and brushing as he roots around to get a decent handful so Kyungsoo slowly and carefully removes his hand and places it on his lap, face vibrant red and palms a little sweaty. He’s being stupid, stupid so very very stupid because it’s Jongin for goodness’ sake, his best friend, he really shouldn’t react so violently when the backs of their hands touch.

The film continues a little more until Kyungsoo realises that Jongin isn’t giving up on unintentionally torturing him this evening.

“Soo, I’m cold, give me some of your blanket.” Kyungsoo was quite comfortably snuggled under the Pororo fleece until that moment.

“No, get your own, it’s keeping me warm.” Kyungsoo wasn’t sure why he was so mean to Jongin when he became so incredibly flustered, but at least Jongin doesn’t seem to mind.

“We’ll just have to share then.” Jongin grins naughtily, yanking the blanket away from Kyungsoo’s feet and ignoring Kyungsoo’s tiny sound of protest.

Jongin shuffles a little closer to Kyungsoo and tucks his own feet under the blanket, sighing as his toes come into contact with Kyungsoo’s calf.

Kyungsoo yelps and curls his legs up. “Oh my god your feet are freezing! Why don’t you just wear socks?”

“I have you as my personal foot warmer Soo, and you’re far more attractive than a pair of socks.” Jongin winks before he’s flicking his eyes back to the TV.

Kyungsoo is so stunned that he doesn’t bother to complain anymore, and he forcibly stops himself from staring at Jongin’s side profile for the rest of the movie.

Jongin falls asleep in his lap towards the end of the film and Kyungsoo takes the opportunity to gently comb his fingers through Jongin’s slightly curly locks. It’ll be awkward when they have to wake up but for now Kyungsoo just savours the feeling of Jongin in his arms and lets his eyes drift slowly shut.

***

Kyungsoo stares at his salad sadly. It’s pretty bland, just wilting lettuce and sour tomato without any dressing of any kind. He eyes Chanyeol’s chicken burger enviously from across the table.

“Why don’t you put some dressing on it or something Kyungsoo? They have really nice honey based one with all the other sauces it’s—“

“I can’t, Baek.” Kyungsoo says, and this time glares resentfully at Baekhyun’s gorgeous looking pasta bake. Kyungsoo coughs a little and his voice drops to a whisper. “I-I’m trying to, you know, lose weight.”

Baekhyun frowns and his voice automatically turns motherly. “Oh Soo, please tell me you’re not going to do something stupid. Ok? Stay off those fad diets. Healthy, balanced meals and exercise.”

Kyungsoo laughs lightly. “I am eating healthily. I promise.” He’s not lying. Kyungsoo had eaten porridge for breakfast, and while it had been pretty gross because he hadn’t put enough milk in (he never knows how his mother makes porridge so perfect) it was certainly much more filling and healthier than all the sugary breakfast cereals people truck down nowadays.

“If you’re sure,” Baekhyun says a little sceptically, digging into his pasta bake. “But you’re not actually overweight Kyungsoo. Your BMI is in a perfectly healthy range.” He adds meaningfully.

Kyungsoo shrugs. “I know, I know, I just want to feel better about myself, that’s all.”

He isn’t lying completely, he does want to look better for himself, but the sneaky part of his brain tells him it might have something to do with wanting to grab Jongin’s eye. He can’t tell Baekhyun that though, because the elder will screech at him about ‘never changing yourself for someone else’. He’s right though, so Kyungsoo can’t argue.

Jongin strolls up a few minutes later and Kyungsoo blushes down at his salad as the younger boy hops into the seat next to him with a chicken burger of his own.

Kyungsoo whimpers, mouth watering. He’s not quite sure if it’s the burger or Jongin that’s doing it to him, so Kyungsoo shuffles his glasses up his nose (yet another weak spot for the bullies to pick on) and returns to his lunch after mumbling a quick greeting to Jongin.

Kyungsoo nearly jumps out of his skin a few minutes later when he nearly stabs his plastic fork into the back of a tanned hand. He looks up and nearly bumps noses with Jongin with how close their faces are.

The younger boy is grinning and he scoops up a few pieces of salad, sliding them into his burger. “Thanks Soo. Gotta liven up the burger with some greenery.” He winks.

Kyungsoo stares as Jongin takes a bite from his burger and hums appreciatively. He appears to notice Kyungsoo’s gaze on the side of his face and he turns, a little flushed along the collarbones. “Hey, it’s a fair swap.” He breathes, before taking Kyungsoo’s fork to pick up a piece of chicken. “Open up.” He coos.

Had it been anyone else, Kyungsoo would have point blank refused to be fed like a baby, but seeing as its Jongin, he opens his mouth obediently and smiles gratefully when Jongin spoons bits of chicken to him every now and then.

At the end of lunch, Kyungsoo and Jongin get up at the same time, with Jongin promising to walk Kyungsoo to his next lesson.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol watch them go.

“They’re actually so gross.” Chanyeol complains, grimacing when he spies Jongin’s hands on Kyungsoo’s waist as he guides them through the crowd.

“Ugh, tell me about it.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes, although his voice is fond. “When is Jongin going to grow a pair and confess?”

“When is Kyungsoo going to realise that Jongin ing loves him too and we’re all kind of fed up of the puppy eyes and the ridiculously domestic behaviour and then the leaping back with cries of ‘No Homo’ like seriously it’s getting repetitive and dull they should just make out.”

***

Kyungsoo is pretty sure his lungs have been punctured. Whoever decided forty minutes of hockey was a good idea was clearly insane.

The rest of Kyungsoo’s Sports class have already headed inside to the changing rooms, but Kyungsoo stays out for a while, helping the teacher put away equipment. Plus, it’s not like the other boys like Kyungsoo being in there while they’re changing, terrified that the gay boy is going to be looking at them. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes distastefully. If only they knew that Kyungsoo only has eyes for someone else, someone completely unattainable but someone Kyungsoo loves nonetheless.

Kyungsoo’s glasses have steamed up and he takes them off while he heads into the changing rooms, wiping them on the edge of his sports shirt. This, of course, means he’s blind as a bat but Kyungsoo’s used to coping and so heads to where he left his clothes and begins getting changed, relieved that everyone else seems to have left already.

It’s when Kyungsoo is completely stripped down to his boxers that he starts to feel uncomfortable, almost like someone is watching him. He turns slowly, but someone grabs his shoulders and turns him quicker, slamming him backwards into the lockers. The metal clangs again his shoulder painfully and Kyungsoo’s winces.

But it’s now Kyungsoo sees the rest of his sports class. He can’t pick out individual faces and names, but he can see them all standing there, grinning nastily. “Looking for something, Kyungsoo?” The boy who slammed Kyungsoo into the lockers hisses.

Kyungsoo hears the cackles of the boys behind him and squeezes his eyes shut quickly to stop the tears emerging. He opens them again and pictures Jongin’s face, finding the strength to say “I just want to get changed then go home.”

The boys laugh again and the ringleader turns Kyungsoo round to glare at his locker again. “Haven’t you noticed Kyungsoo? Your clothes aren’t there.” He puts on a mocking voice. “They’ve taken a little walk out onto the playing field. So you need to go and fetch them. Go on, wobble off fat boy.”

Kyungsoo gasps in humiliation, just having enough time to grab his glasses before the jeering mob are shoving him out towards the entrance, laughing and shouting.

Kyungsoo shudders as the cold air hits his form, stumbling as he gets pushed forwards. The playing field is on top of a little hill, so Kyungsoo is going to have to run all the way up it. 

Tears drip down Kyungsoo’s cheeks as he starts to run, torn between wanting to slow down to stop himself wobbling and speeding up to get his clothes on quicker. He trips in a rabbit hole and slips, muddying his knees and hands.

The boys’ laughter increases even from the distance, but Kyungsoo doesn’t look at them, he just keeps going, hating himself more and more until finally he reaches the top of the hill and sees his clothes spread about.

He staggers over and picks up his trousers, sobbing as he finds them dripping wet and covered in mud. His shoes have rotting leaves stuffed in them, his shirt is mud stained and his tie is ripped in the middle. Kyungsoo clutches the clothes to his chest, sobbing into his fist.

“Kyungsoo? Oh my god, Kyungsoo!” Kyungsoo’s head snaps up at the sound of a painfully familiar voice.

Jongin is sprinting across the playing field. Jongin and the football them have evidently just finished practice. Jongin skids to a halt before Kyungsoo and his eyes are panicked. “Soo what the hell happened? Why—oh my god.” He says.

Kyungsoo breaks down into sobs again, dropping his clothes and curling into himself, trying not to let Jongin see how disgusting he is.

Jongin’s face crumples as he steps forward, snatching Kyungsoo up into the tightest hug possible, and voice shaking with emotion. “Soo, I’m here. It’s alright now. You’re ok. I swear Soo I’ve got you.”

Kyungsoo sobs loudly into Jongin’s chest, tears falling thick and fast and hands clutching at the taller boy. Jongin is so warm, and he smells so much like home and Kyungsoo realises that he is so deeply in love with this boy.

Jongin has to prize Kyungsoo’s hands off him, and before Kyungsoo can process what he’s doing Jongin his tugging his shirt off and pulling it down over Kyungsoo’s head.

The shirt looks like more of a dress on Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo blushes madly when he catches sight of Jongin’s extremely toned torso. Goodness gracious, the boy has abs and a happy trail and Kyungsoo is sure that he will never forget that sight for as long as he lives.

“Jongin? What’s going on?”

Kyungsoo nearly dies of embarrassment as the rest of Jongin’s team jog over. He pulls down the hem of Jongin’s shirt to cover a little more of his thighs and tries to smudge away the tears, but fails as they just keep on falling.

Jongin pulls Kyungsoo into his side protectively and Kyungsoo suddenly feels extremely hot because wow his face is touching Jongin’s chest. “The jerks that have been bullying Kyungsoo for ages did this to his clothes.” Jongin says, indicating the muddy pile before them all.

Kim Namjoon, the team captain, raises his eyebrows and his voice takes on a steely edge. “Did they now?” He shakes his head. He’s heard about the guys that pick on Kyungsoo before. “Hey, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo jerks his head up and looks shyly at Namjoon, who smiles gently at him. “Don’t worry about them anymore. We’ll sort them out.” The rest of the team nods. “For now, let’s focus on getting you in the warm, you look freezing.”

“You look about the same size as Jiminnie,” Jung Hoseok pipes up, “He’s got some spare clothes with him.”

Jimin nods and smiles at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo just about manages to smile back before Jongin is squeezing him gently and nuzzling behind his ear. “I’ll look after you Soo, I promise.”

***

Kyungsoo sighs in relief as the hot water pours down on him. He massages some shampoo in his hair and watches how the suds tumble down the drain.

It feels odd for Kyungsoo to be able to shower in peace, knowing that no one is going to mock or bully him as soon as he steps out. He’s knows this for fact as a couple of members from the football team are guarding the door and Jongin himself is waiting in the changing room.

Once Kyungsoo decides he’s officially clean, he grabs his towel and wraps himself up in the warmth. His glasses are a little steamed up and for once it doesn’t matter because he’s not going to get beaten up if he can’t see.

Kyungsoo walks out of the shower awkwardly, holding the towel tightly round himself as he peers around the corner.

Jongin is sitting on one of the benches, carefully folding a pile of clothes. He’s had a shower too, and now his hair is in its fluffy, just-dried state that just makes Kyungsoo want to run his fingers through the silky locks forever. Jongin is also wearing a slightly oversized hoodie that makes him look so much like a giant teddy bear that Kyungsoo chokes a little on his own spit.

Jongin hears Kyungsoo light cough and looks up, smiling as Kyungsoo shuffles forward with a blush on his face.

“Here are some clean clothes,” Jongin says, handing the pile to Kyungsoo and smiling warmly.

Kyungsoo wanders over to a bench and sighs as he puts the things down. He’s just about to drop his towel and start getting changed when—“Jongin, don’t watch!”He hisses, scandalised as he turns to see Jongin’s eyes still fixed on him.

Jongin merely chuckles and shakes his head. “Your body is nothing to be ashamed of Soo.”  

“Easy for you to say.” Kyungsoo scoffs, mind flicking back to the rather spectacular view of Jongin without a shirt on.

“I mean it though. You’re beautiful.” Jongin whispers, although his words ring loud and clear in the deserted changing room.

Kyungsoo freezes as he unfolds a t shirt. The words, rather than reassuring him, seem to rip open his soul and lay him entirely bare in front of Jongin. It makes him angry, so very angry because really, what does Jongin know? He knows nothing, nothing at all and he never will understand what it’s like being Kyungsoo, and he’ll never love Kyungsoo for who he is because he’s just not the sort of person that people like Jongin fall in love with. For what feels like the thousandth time that day, Kyungsoo’s eyes start to leak hot salty tears as he voices the fears that a truly on his mind. “I’m not though Jongin. I’m really really not. I’m not stupid, I’m not quite as blind as that and I do see some things. I see that I wibble and wobble everywhere I go. I see the looks of morbid interest and ing disgust I get sometimes. I see as people snigger into their lockers as I walk past, I hear the things they say about me every day. I know what happens, Jongin, and you’re really trying to tell me I’m beautiful? Because I’m really ing not. I’m one of life’s destined loners, no one’s crush, no one’s type and deserving no one’s sympathy. Ok?” Kyungsoo spits out.

Jongin is silent.

Kyungsoo’s chest heaves as he sobs for breath, realisation coming with his words. He’s an absolute waste of space. Kyungsoo chances a look up at Jongin and finds him staring at his toes wiggling in his socks. Kyungsoo shakes his head and angrily unties a pair of socks, but then Jongin’s voice, so timid and tiny, echoes out.

“But you’re my type.” He says, still staring at his socks with red dusting his beautifully high cheekbones. “And—and you’re my crush.” He chokes out, lump so large in his throat. Jongin chances a look up and bites his lip nervously.

“What?”

Jongin stands and breathes in deeply, approaching Kyungsoo slowly until he stands mere inches away.

Kyungsoo looks up at Jongin with those beautifully wide eyes, displaying nothing but shock and fear and still b with tears.

“I-Kyungsoo- you’re my best friend. B-but you’re not my best friend.”

Kyungsoo frowns.

“No! I didn’t mean it like that, I mean to say—“ Jongin takes another gulp of air and softly brushes back a strand of hair from Kyungsoo’s forehead. “I mean to say Soo, that I’ve had feelings for you for a really long time now. I- You’re absolutely gorgeous, no matter what you think or other people say. You’re so sweet and caring and kind to everyone and you’ve always been there for me, holding me up no matter what you’ve been going through yourself. I just- it’s just that your smile lights up my day every time I get to see it and I’m always in awe because underneath that scary stare when you’ve forgotten your glasses is an adorable, intelligent person with an amazing sense of humour and—god, Soo I think I might be in love with you.” Jongin runs a hand through his hair agitatedly, sighing.

Kyungsoo grabs Jongin’s hand and holds it in his, stilling it.

Jongin looks at him like a rabbit in the headlights.

Kyungsoo still has no idea why or how he worked up the courage, but before he can stop himself he’s reaching up onto his tiptoes and pressing his lips once, just softly, to Jongin’s. He pulls back and blinks a couple of times to clear his eyes of tears. “I-it’s not a joke, right?”

Jongin squeezes their interlocked fingers and looks down at Kyungsoo with a soft expression. “It’s not a joke.” He’s blushing nearly as much as Kyungsoo is, but Jongin appears so much calmer even though he just blurted out his confession. Kyungsoo’s heart thuds ridiculously in his chest, and his face feels like it’s about to split in two by how hard he’s smiling. Kyungsoo is nearly shaking from the sheer excitement, sheer exhilaration at knowing that Jongin, Kim Jongin, his best friend, actually might like him too.

“I- I think I might be in love you too Jonginnie.” Jongin’s face cracks into a megawatt grin and Kyungsoo just stares for a while, until he remembers what he’s doing. “I-I’ve liked you for a while too and I just didn’t think—because you’re you and I’m me but—you’re so amazing I can’t even put it into words.” Kyungsoo buries his face in his hands, still not quite believing that this is happening. His face burns and Kyungsoo is immediately regretting confessing here and now, when he currently resembles a pink blancmange.

He feels Jongin prize his hands away from his face and when he looks up Jongin has a naughty grin on his face. “Well, if you can’t put my amazingness into words, at least make it up to me this way.” He says, before he’s stooping down again and pushing his lips against Kyungsoo’s.

This time, Jongin’s hands cup Kyungsoo’s face gently as he coaxes the smaller to open his mouth.

Kyungsoo’s hands clutch at Jongin’s hoodie as their tongues gently dance together, sighing contentedly when Jongin nibbles softly on his lip.

He flushes in embarrassment when Jongin’s tongue teasingly caresses the back of his teeth, because the moan that slips from Kyungsoo’s lips is far from innocent and it has Jongin smiling against his mouth as he pulls away, breathing deeply.

“I think we’d better stop there before things get out of control.” He laughs, voice deep and gravelly.

Kyungsoo nods shyly, thoughts still a little jumbled as Jongin stands clutching Kyungsoo’s waist. His hands are merely resting there either, they’re holding on firmly as if claiming Kyungsoo for themselves.

Jongin presses their foreheads together and giggles lightly, his breath tickling Kyungsoo’s face. “So are we boyfriends now or what?” He teases.

“Yes—well, um I—if you want to that is-be um, boyfriends. Date me and stuff.” Kyungsoo splutters and Jongin can’t control the delighted coo that slips from his mouth as he brings Kyungsoo in for a chaste kiss.

“Oh I want.” Jongin says, winking devilishly. “So then boyfriend, you need to put some clothes on and then we are getting out of this dump.”

Kyungsoo flushes again and weakly shoves Jongin’s shoulder. “Go, let me get changed.” He smiles. His chest physically hurts from love as he looks up into Jongin’s eyes.

“Ok, ok. I’ll miss you though while I’m waiting.” Jongin pouts.

“I’m starting to regret agreeing to this now.” Kyungsoo teases in response, but Jongin merely kisses his temple and skips out of the room.

Kyungsoo gets dressed with a smile blooming on his face as he thinks of his best friend turned boyfriend and how sometimes the worst days can become the best.

***

It’s approaching 11pm and Jongin and Kyungsoo are just getting ready for bed at Kyungsoo’s house.

Kyungsoo’s mother Sooyoung had raised her eyebrows when her son and Jongin had arrived home with flushed cheeks, swollen lips and their hands entwined. Kyungsoo frantically signalled at her not to say anything to avoid embarrassment, and to her credit she didn’t although she definitely gave Kyungsoo a very obvious thumb up and a wink as he and Jongin headed up to his room, which made Jongin nearly fall over laughing.

Things of course got worse when Kyungsoo and Jongin came down to get a drink only to find Sooyoung on the phone. “Hyoyeon Hyoyeon Hyoyeon, guess what? I think they’re finally together! They were holding hands! And they were blushing!”

Kyungsoo just had time to whine “Mum, please.” Before he towed Jongin upstairs so the grand inquisition couldn’t start.

Kyungsoo shakes his head at the embarrassing thought that both he and Jongin’s mothers have been sharing notes on their sons’ relationship over the past few months.

 

At present, Jongin is sitting in Kyungsoo’s bed reading a book.

Kyungsoo’s heart clenches at how well he fits there, as if the spot was made for him.

Jongin catches him staring and shuts his book, beckoning Kyungsoo up onto the bed with a yawn. “Come on, Soo. I’m sleepy. It’s tiring work getting boyfriends and stuff.” He jokes and Kyungsoo giggles as he settles down under the covers next to Jongin. It feels slightly strange getting into bed beside Jongin, even though it’s completely normal for them to share when they’re staying over at each other’s houses. Kyungsoo guesses it’s because there’s something official between them now rather than just two boys that are comfortable in each other’s presence.

Jongin flicks the lights out and there is a moment of quiet as they both lay awkwardly in the darkness, side by side.

Kyungsoo yelps in surprise when he feels Jongin’s hands on him suddenly, reeling him into his chest so Jongin can spoon him.

Jongin tucks his knees up behind Kyungsoo and wraps his arms around his torso, smiling as Kyungsoo snuggles back into him.

“Night Soo, I love you.” Jongin whispers, breath tickling the back of Kyungsoo’s neck.

 

 

 

A few moments later, when Kyungsoo is sure that Jongin is asleep, he lets the last of his insecurity out. “It’s really not a joke?” He clarifies again, expecting no response.

Jongin, however, is awake still and squeezes Kyungsoo tightly. He presses a kiss to the skin behind Kyungsoo’s ear and nuzzles his nose there, whispering. “It’s really, really not a joke.”

“I love you so much. I’ve loved you for so long.” Kyungsoo whispers, picking up one of Jongin’s hands and pressing his lips to the back of it in a moment of bravery.

“I loved you longer,” Is Jongin’s only reply, but the feeling of his smile against Kyungsoo’s skin is worth more than any words ever will.