Shinwoo was having a pleasant evening, it was just him, the fireplace, chilling music and his cup of American coffee. A few minutes ago, he was tired, exhausted, fed up, but the tiredness inside him started to melt as he looked outside the window; the snow falling from the uncoloured sky was hypnotizing, something about the frozen flakes was ridiculously smoothing. If it wasn’t so cold outside, he would probably be in his yard, feeling the magic of an early Christmas.

That’s when something fell from the sky. Something too big to be just a bird, too big to be even a bat. Oh god. A dead body.

Shinwoo didn’t want to go and check. Obviously it wasn’t a dead body. But there was a possibility, and that was something he didn’t want to see. Anyway, he couldn’t just pretend he didn’t see anything, and the lack of movement outside his window was starting to freak him out.

The cold air slapped him in the face furiously, but that was nothing compared to the shock of actually finding a dead body in the front yard. It was a man, a boy really, he looked fragile buried in the bed of snow. And dead. He looked dead. How could this be possibly happening? He tried kicking the body a little with his foot, and when the boy cringed, Shinwoo moved back nervously. It was alive.

“Aaagh” the boy was holding his side, trying to stand up “that hurt”

“Oh, let me…” Shinwoo hurried to take his hand “Are you okay?”

“Yes, I just fell”

“You fell”

“Yes, out the window”

Shinwoo held a laugh “How did that even happen?”

“I was trying to put the Christmas lights on my balcony and there was a strong wind and it just blew me away”

“The wind blew you away… what are you? 130 pounds? And why were you putting up Christmas lights in a blizzard?”

The boy laughed “I’m a little heavier than that, but not much, if I have to be honest” he looked up at the lights hanging from his balcony “It just felt like a good day to put up the lights”

Shinwoo looked at the stormy sky, full of black, heavy clouds and then looked at the boy again. He didn’t want to know how his mind worked to make him feel like that day exactly –or any day, at all- was appropriate to hang yourself from the balcony without help.

“Are you bleeding?” the long haired man asked, worried.

The other touched his cheek where it was hurting him, and his nearly freezing hand came out covered in red.

“It seems so, I must have fell over a rock or something” he saw Shinwoo’s expression and quickly added “It’s fine, I’m completely okay”

But the thread of blood dropping from his skinny face told otherwise.

“Come to my apartment” Shinwoo offered surprising even himself, he wasn’t exactly a social type “I’ll clean that”

***

Shinwoo had the boy sitting in a chair in the dining room, there wasn’t much space inside his apartment –his job didn’t pay too well- so he’d have to take care of the wound there. While he was looking for the medical kit in his bathroom he could hear his fallen neighbour humming a song. He smiled at him when he entered the room.

“This is probably going to burn” Shinwoo told him while humidifying the gauze pad with rubbing alcohol

“I’m not a kid” the boy laughed “I’ve been here”

Shinwoo blushed fervently. How could he ever think in treating him like a child. He fell off the window, yes, but that didn’t mean he was stupid, probably just too reckless.

“My name is Jinyoung, by the way” he said, his smile still had a hint of malice “Jung Jinyoung”

“Shin Dongwoo” he started cleaning the wound, Jinyoung didn’t even blink. Huh, strong. “But my friends call me Shinwoo”

Why did you even say that? He’s not your friend.

“Shinwoo it is, then” Jinyoung smiled warmly.

Dongwoo cleaned the wound for more time than necessary, letting his fingers caress the skin in a way that wasn’t notorious. It was unlike himself to do those kind of things, but the boy, Jinyoung, was terribly pretty. He haven’t had a romantic interest since forever –he was too busy with college and his part-time job-, and he wasn’t saying he had a crush on a boy he just properly met, either, he was just saying that he was really, really, good looking. And well, he had eyes.

The boy coughed, dragging Shinwoo out of his trance. He focused back on the wound, he placed the gauze over it and stuck it to the forehead with nursing tape.

“There it is” Dongwoo said, proud “Did it burn too much?”

“Not really, you have really soft hands” Jinyoung said and Shinwoo felt deeply glad that he started coughing again so he wouldn’t see his blushing cheeks.

He smiled instead, trying to hide the fact that he was touched by the compliment “It seems that you’ve got a cold”

“Yeah, I think I haven’t had enough time to take care of myself”

“Too much work?”

“Yes, you could say so”

Shinwoo could feel his eyes fixed in his face. He felt his hands sweating. Jinyoung was expecting him to say something, but he was just so awkward and had nothing interesting to say. Not to someone like him, at least. He offered him tea instead.

***

Jinyoung couldn’t get the song done. He had to offer a show on Christmas Eve and he wanted at least one new song to perform. It wasn’t a really big thing, really. He just sang in a bar full of hopeless people, but he took his job seriously, as he could hardly believe he was making money doing something he loved so much. He knew he was extremely lucky; that’s why he was so frustrated with this artist block thing.

He touched the wound on his forehead, it didn’t hurt that much anymore. The downstairs neighbour kept creeping into his mind.

He buried his face in his guitar.

Jung Jinyoung, you ing fell off the window. Why couldn’t his neighbour be an old lady? Or even better, why couldn’t his neighbour not be home at the moment? He wasn’t a clumsy person. He liked to think of himself as sharp and elegant. Okay, maybe not quite elegant, but he definitely wasn’t the person to fall off the window. He had been drinking that day, not enough to get drunk, just a little dizzy, but clearly enough to make himself think that putting up lights on a blizzard was a mildly acceptable idea.

Maybe he wouldn’t have drank that much if he could just. write. the. freaking. song.

And Shinwoo kept appearing before his eyes. He had never noticed him before, he had seen him, yes, but not really acknowledge his presence. They have crossed paths a couple times in the stairs, but Shinwoo didn’t have enough substance to attract his glare. He was just another shadow on the street.

Until now, of course.

Jinyoung tried to take him out of his mind. Think about anything else. Suddenly, lyrics came to mind, lyrics that matched the melody he’s been working on. He felt relieved until he noticed the words were about falling into a new love.

When I’m looking at the sky, it feels like I’m looking into your eyes, cause you are so beautiful baby, your eyes that sparkle like the stars.

Shin Dongwoo was the worst of his nightmares.

***

Shin Dongwoo was a little pissed at himself. Annoyed because he was behaving like such a kid. He wasn’t a teenager anymore, for having such a school-like crush on the pretty boy upstairs. Despite everything, he was secretly hoping for Jinyoung to fall off the window again, so he’ll have a reason to talk to him.

Instead, the view from his window was quiet and still, no bodies falling from windows, not even snowflakes, or rain, or anything. Just all that white that made him feel somehow lonely. Because of how tired he was –and how much he was thinking about certain person- he completely forgot to stop at the store for food. He didn’t want to go out to the cold again, but his stomach was treating to eat him from the inside and really, his mother wouldn’t appreciate that he died two days before Christmas.

With his face buried in a thick scarf, Shinwoo entered the store, making a bell ring so the employees would know someone was there. He usually find that uncomfortable, he didn’t love the idea of every pair of eyes turning to see him when he entered somewhere, but this time he could only love the annoying sound. Jinyoung was inside, and his face lifted visibly when he saw him.

Jinyoung waved at him, and Shinwoo walked to him as if he was being attracted with a magnet.

“Jinyoung-ssi” was all he could bare to say when he had the boy facing him. Brilliant, Dongwoo, as if he doesn’t know his own name.

But Jinyoung didn’t seem to think it was idiotic, instead, a shy smile appeared within his delicate features.

“Shinwoo-ssi” he said as well “What are you doing here?”

“I ran out of food” Shinwoo didn’t know why but he felt a little embarrassed about that, like he didn’t want Jinyoung to know he was so careless. “I need to make dinner and all that…”

“What a coincidence” Jinyoung smiled more “I’ve been so busy with work I forgot to go grocery shopping too, and now I’m about to die of starvation”

“Starvation? When was the last time you ate?”

“Yesterday morning” he said simply.

“But that’s like 30 hours ago” Shinwoo said, alarmed. With a glance at Jinyoung’s cart, he knew that that boy didn’t take care of himself too well “That’s only chips and cookies”

“Not so healthy right? I know, but I at cooking so this is all I can have. Ramyeon sometimes, too”

Shinwoo opened his mouth before he could think better about it “I can make you dinner” he offered.

“Can you? I mean, would you? Like you can come to my apartment and all, I mean, if you want to” Jinyoung’s eyes were gleaming, but Shinwoo guessed it was his need of a real meal.

“I’d be a pleasure” suddenly, he didn’t feel so tired anymore.

***

Shinwoo was chopping vegetables when he heard a voice coming from the bathroom. Jinyoung went to take a shower as soon as they got to his apartment, said he was too cold and needed warm water, Shinwoo couldn’t argue with that, as thin as the boy was, it was probably hard for him to stay warm in the winter by himself.

At first Shinwoo thought it was the radio, but then he realized there were no instruments, just voice. A voice drowned by the water. It had to be Jinyoung singing, but Shinwoo couldn’t believe it, he never knew someone who could sing. Let alone sing like that. He left the vegetables on the table and went to the bathroom, placing his ear in the door.

It was Jinyoung.

He leaned a little more to listen better, but the door gave way under his weight and it opened with a sonorous clap against the wall. The song stopped immediately.

“Who’s there?” Jinyoung asked, much more relaxed than Shinwoo would have been if some stranger broke into his bathroom while he was showering.

“Uhm… me. Shinwoo” he stuttered “I’m sorry I was… “I was amazed by your voice and I was being a creep, listening from the other side of the door “I fell”

“Seems we’re destined to falling” Jinyoung joked from behind the curtain, then he peeked outside, exposing half of his body “Can you get me the towel?”

Dongwoo flustered. The sight of his torso had been too much, too sudden, he couldn’t quite process it. He got the towel and reached for Jinyoung’s hand from as far as he could.

“I’ll be in the kitchen” he hurried, afraid that Jinyoung could just start dressing himself with him inside the bathroom.

 

“Can I help in some way? I feel like I’m taking advantage of you if you’re the only one doing things”

“You’re not, I love to cook” Shinwoo waved him off “But you could sing a little?”

Jinyoung opened his eyes big as plates “Sing?”

“I… accidentally heard you singing in the shower” Shinwoo admitted “And it was quite great”

He had to stop blushing or else his face could become red permanently.

Jinyoung smirked “So that’s why you were spying!”

“I was not-“ Shinwoo started but the expression on the other boy’s face stopped him “Okay, I was spying, but it’s just because I couldn’t believe it was you”

“Should I feel offended?” Jinyoung laughed “Or flattered?”

“Flattered”

“Then hold on”

Jinyoung left and came back with a guitar. It was one of the finest guitars Shinwoo had ever seen, black and polished, shiny but nostalgic. He thought an instrument like that probably had a name, but he was too ashamed to ask.

“Would you listen to this and tell me what you think about it?” Jinyoung asked.

“Of course” Though I probably would love it even if you sing children songs.

The boy started playing chords in his guitar, his hand going through the strings with precision, firmly. The melody was soft enough to be considered and acoustic song but it had a kind of energy that made it joyful instead of a blue tone. Anyway, Shinwoo stopped paying attention to those things when Jinyoung opened his mouth.

It sounded even better now he wasn’t under the falling water, now that he was allowed to listen.

If we’re together in this place, you’re more beautiful than anyone else. My dear, don’t be shy, open your heart.

 

The song described so perfectly the way he felt that Shinwoo became paranoid that maybe he was too obvious. Or worse, that Jinyoung had someone already in his heart. The singing boy caught his glance and made eye contact, they stayed that way during the whole song, like defying the other to look away first. Shinwoo was relieved when the song was over, because one more second of it would’ve meant he could have stood up and kiss him.

“Then? What do you think?” Jinyoung asked as if the whole eye contact thing was nothing.

“It was amazing” Shinwoo said, all honest “Did you really write it yourself?”

“Yeah, it’s like, my job or something” Jinyoung said proudly “But I’ve been doing it since I was eleven or twelve”

“Well, I’m impressed” Who were you thinking about when you wrote it? And why do I care so much?

“Do you have plans for tomorrow?” the boy asked suddenly.

“Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve” Shinwoo said.

“I know, I was just wondering… since you live alone and all” Jinyoung voice fell silent.

Shinwoo blushed intensely. Was he insinuating they should…? Calm the down, Shinwoo.

“I don’t have plans, I supposed I was going to spend the evening watching Christmas comedies and eating cookies”

Jinyoung seemed truly happy to hear that “I have a special show tomorrow, it’s just a small pub with few people but maybe if you want to come… it’d be great?”

“Are you…?”

“It’s been long since I had a friend seeing me”

“Oh. A friend, right” Of course, what was he even thinking? “I’ll go, of course, right, of course”

“I’m glad” Jinyoung said “It starts at eight, let me write the address”

Shinwoo suddenly felt uncomfortable, so as soon as he had the address in a piece of paper he excused himself and left to his own apartment.

***

He tidied his long hair in a ponytail, he put his locks down, then tidied them again. One time and then another and another, not quite sure of how formal he needed to appear at the pub. He settled for the ponytail, a shirt and a tie. No jacket, he didn’t want to look like he was trying too hard.

Shinwoo realized later that the tie was a mistake. Also the shirt and the black shoes. He should’ve gone there wearing some nice pants and a sweater, as everyone else did. What was even people doing in a pub in Christmas Eve? It was a little sad to think about it.

He asked for a glass of wine to help him get warm, and waited in his table for Jinyoung to make his appearance. In the meantime, he would just think about how firm Jinyoung’s chest looked the day before in the shower. How delicate his skin was a week ago when he was applying the rubbing alcohol.

A voice snapped him out of his inappropriate thoughts. “Merry Christmas, ladies and gentlemen! We appreciate you’re here today, so we can celebrate as a family” the man said in a jolly voice, he probably drank a little before going on scene “Tonight, as it is a special night, we have only the best of the best: our beloved Jung Jinyoung, people!”

The small crowd broke into applause, cheering for the singer. They clearly loved Jinyoung a lot, and to be here on a day like this, they were surely loyal customers, too. Like a family, Shinwoo thought.

Jinyoung bowed at the people and then waved, a wide smile plastered on his face. He was looking for someone in the crowd, and Shinwoo realized it was himself when their glances met and Jinyoung waved specially at him. At him only.

He lost himself in his voice.

It feels like I’m walking in a dream. Your kiss comes to me as if you’re shy

 

He was so handsome. He was so nice, too.

You are like the lighthouse in my dark and cold night. Because you’re by my side, I feel safe.

 

He needed to be closer.

Without noticing, Shinwoo left his table and started walking towards the stage, hypnotized by the tune and Jinyoung’s fox like eyes.

He didn’t even like dyed hair before. But that wine colour was his beating heart now.

Cause you are so amazing oh baby you’re so amazing to me.

 

Jinyoung stood up, didn’t stop playing his guitar, he got off the stage with a jump. Shinwoo realized, he was walking towards him. His singing voice was too painful now, why did he have to do this?

As he sang the last notes, Jinyoung approached Shinwoo, and finally placed himself before him.

“This song was for a very special person” he said to the crowd that cheered “A Christmas angel”

Shinwoo looked into his eyes. Jinyoung stared back. He felt the thrills.

“Look up” Jinyoung said quietly, so only Shinwoo could hear him.

So he did. Mistletoe.

Jinyoung leaned on and kissed him. Shinwoo took a step back, surprised. It only took him a few seconds to realize what was happening; he cupped Jinyoung’s delicate face with his hands and started kissing him slowly, carefully, like he could break him if he was too rough.

The clapping from the costumers was deafening. Shinwoo could feel Jinyoung’s smile glued to his lips.

***

The two boys entered their building holding hands. Jinyoung felt blissful, Shinwoo felt dizzy. A good kind of dizzy, though. Jinyoung was too many emotions for him.

“Good night, Shinwoo-ssi”

“You can drop the honorifics, if you want to” Shinwoo couldn’t help being polite, even if he felt taking Jinyoung’s shirt off on the spot.

The boy smiled at that “Goodnight, Shinwoo” he said, kissing his cheek.

Dongwoo felt reckless; he kissed his lips.

“Maybe we could both go to my apartment” Jinyoung offered “Christmas Eve is for family and loved ones, not for spending alone… we could make some dinner, drink some wine”

“You mean I could make some dinner”

“And I could pour the wine”

“Were you planning this?” Shinwoo asked, the light of the stairs had already went off by now, it was pitch black in the corridors “The whole mistletoe thing?”

“Kind of” Jinyoung admitted “I wasn’t sure I’d do it until I saw you all embarrassed with that tie and shiny shoes”

“Uhm”

“You were adorable” he said, and peeked a small, almost inexistent kiss on Shinwoo’s lips “So, my apartment?”

“And wine”

“And wine” he agreed.