Taeyeon was a mess.

It had never been good this year for Girls' Generation generally. Dating scandal, starting from Yoona, Sooyoung, herself, lastly, the most scandalous one, Taeyeon. Mr. Mr. wasn't that good either, it was indeed still winning in music broadcasts yet never able to surpass their late songs. And Taeyeon being Taeyeon, she blamed herself for that. Tiffany could never quite follow Taeyeon's logic on that matter actually. She thought it was enough that the whole country or even the whole world blamed her, especially, for dating that boy, the last person who need to blame her was herself, yet she still did. What a way of self-destruction.

How cruel the universe is when the storm hadn't even had the chance to died down, they had to face another that was tenfold worse than before. Jessica was kicked out, at least that what all of the media wrote on their front page. No one knew thet truth yet they talked, at the end of the days, Taeyeon, again, became the victim in the blame game.

Tiffany watched her dear bestfriend dying, slowly, it definitely wasn't on the outside but surely on the inside. Taeyeon couldn't sleep without the help of pills or alcohols. Taeyeon rarely came out to just hang out with anybody, or even out from her always-dark room. Once, Tiffany barged into her room, trying to drag her out. Surely it shocked her because the room was reeked with the smell of tobacco and when she confronted her about it, she snapped and it didn't fix anything. So she left her alone.

Certainly, It got worse. Taeyeon skipped meals, and after a few months, she literally became skin and bones. She couldn't deny that every time Taeyeon lost her soul piece by piece, she lost hers too. Her tears never failed to escape everytime she heard Taeyeon's muffled sobs. It ripped her heart and soul badly.

Nights after nights of being a bystander, she couldn't hold it anymore. She shouldn't let her own inner battle stopped her for caring toward Taeyeon. She had to admit, one of the biggest reason she was mostly passive about Taeyeon's conditions, was because doubts clouded up her minds. Sha was, afraid of what might be happening between them, she was afraid of her own heart. It wrongly drown deeper and deeper for Taeyeon. But she could careless about any of it, now that her trembling hand pulled down the handle of Taeyeon's door and slowly opened it up.

Tiffany took a hesitant steps towards the bed where Taeyeon was. She was curling inside her fortress of blanket as if it could protect her from every demons, nightmare, ghosts or whatever it was that haunted her. Tiffany didn't realize how long she had been standing beside Taeyeon's bed watching that lump. As usual, the merely audible muffled sobs that seemed too agonizingly loud for Tiffany's heart could be heard from inside it.

She braced herself, inhaled a full amount of air then let it all out. Slowly, she slipped herself in into the blanket and circled her hands on Taeyeon's waist. She pressed her body on Taeyeon's back, hoping she could provide her a sense of security and comfort. She could feel Taeyeon was stiffen under her touch but she didn't say anything. She couldn't see Taeyeon's face since she faced the wall, so she took her silent as a sign that she was fine with Tiffany's sudden presence.

"Tae, shh I'm here. It's okay" she found Taeyeon's hand and it gently.

But the sobs was only getting louder. It kind of panicked her a bit. So Tiffany propped her self on her elbow to get a little higher trying to see Taeyeon's face. Her heart was ripped even more, the sight of Taeyeon's scrunched up face, trembling lips, tears-stained cheeks, and puffy eyes was devastating. Her vision started to get blurry from her own tears.

She kissed Taeyeon's temple and rested her head on Taeyeon's head. Her lips lingered on Taeyeon's right cheek.

"Tae, share them with me." She kissed Taeyeon's cheek gently. "Burdens, or whatever they are that been haunting you."

Taeyeon didn't say anything, but her sobs stopped after a moments.

"I never wanted to hurt anybody, Fany." She started talking in an almost inaudible voice. Tiffany nodded her head, motioned her to go on.

"The company said that it-it was okay to date baekyeon without being to carefull." She said between hiccups. "So we did. He said he likes me since long time ago and being persistent about it so I thought why not, b-but I never thought it turned out like t-this. He is a good boy, he doesn't deserve all of these hate."

Tiffany felt a sting in her already ripped heart because the mention of her boyfriend. It disgusted her though, how sinfully selfish her heart was, instead of feeling sympathetic for Taeyeon's "publicly unblessed" relationship, she was burned by the fire of jealousy. She hold Taeyeon a little tighter. Out of protectiveness or just to redeem herself because of her selfishness, she didn't know either. Luckily, Taeyeon was only thinking of it as a sign for her to carry on, so she did.

"And Jessica, I-I should've fought harder for her." She began to sobs again. Her voice faltered.

"S-sica is a family, we are a family. I lost her, Fany, I-I in lost her."

"It's not your fault, Tae." Tiffany couldn't hold her tears from flowing down anymore. The matter with Jessica still burned her, them, a lot.

Tiffany wanted to comfort Taeyeon a little better, so she laid herself to the mattress and pulled Taeyeon's shoulder to make Taeyeon faced her. Taeyeon understood her intention, she snuggled into the crook of Tiffany's neck and put her hand on Tiffany's waist. Tiffany wrapped her arm around Taeyeon's shoulder and it gently.

"Shh, it's not your fault, you know. Jessica has her own ambition, we should... respect that." The truth was, Tiffany wasn't even sure either. It was still hard to accept that Jessica didn't share the same dream with them anymore. She just knew that sooner or later she had to accept the fact, and somehow building up again the burned bridges.

"I know, but.." Taeyeon retorted back but she lost her words.

"We will be fine again, someday. I don't know how but we definitely will. We are family after all. We might not be able to stand on the same stage again, but I just have faith that we're going to be fine."

Taeyeon didn't argue any further. Inside, Taeyeon wasn't sure how Tiffany could actually had such faith, but it kind of put an ease at her heart.

Taeyeon lifted her head up, looking straight at Tiffany with those glistening pair of dark brown orbs. Little did she knew, it triggered Tiffany's heart to beat faster and faster it could possibly jumped out of her chest. The moment Taeyeon shifted her gaze down to her lips, Tiffany was amazed she didn't have a heart attack since her heart was beating even more crazily faster than before. Her mind became hazy all of a sudden, it lost its power to function and all she could do was closing her eyes once Taeyeon slowly leaned in.

Tiffany had expected soft lips, pressed onto her own, moving in a sensually slow motion, the pace she preferred to have in her first kiss with with Taeyeon. And I

t was still sensual, how Taeyeon's tongue darted out occasionally, making the kiss wet, leaving hot trails of saliva, how Taeyeon closed her eyes and looked so drown in the sensation, poured every emotion she had felt al these years into the kiss, and yes Tiffany was opening her eyes, out of surprise and confusion, since the kiss was peculiarly landed on the far corner of her lips instead of on her lips.

She didn't know what she was suppose to do in a situation like this. It was definitely easier when people -s- forced theirself on her, because she would just have to kick them right in the balls. Or when people -another s- rejected her kiss, well high school was a , she would just backed away after collecting her shattered pride that scattered on the floor. But in her 26 years of living, she hadn't been encountered with this kind of situation. Situation where a lot of confusions actually could exist in an usually enlightening gesture. A kiss usually would make it clear wether people liked anothers not the other way around. Well, Taeyeon wasn't as opened book as she thought she was unfortunately.

Tiffany couldn't understand whether Taeyeon did this purposely or Taeyeon was just too drunk to even just locate her lips accurately. But at the same time she didn't dare to ask or tell her where her lips was as it would sound so stupid and embarrassingly desperate, so half of her name was the only thing she could mutter.

"Tae..?" But Taeyeon didn't seem to hear it. She kept kissing her.

Not long after, Taeyeon stopped the kiss and brushed the wet trails on the corner of Tiffany's lips with her thumb. Although in a poorly lit room, she could see Taeyeon's sad smile. Her puffy eyes never left Tiffany's lips since the moment it had opened. The look on Taeyeon's eyes was full of admiration, a slight of contentment yet sad at the same time.

As if she could feel Tiffany's questioning gaze on her, Taeyeon looked up to her.

"Tae, I---" Taeyeon shut her by putting her finger on Tiffany's lips.

"I'm in love with you, Tiffany." She smiled, more like a sad smile even when she was confessing right now.

Then she continued, "but this" Taeyeon's gaze fell on Tiffany's lips again. Tiffany felt the finger now traced along the outer line of her lips, the area where the skin met the lips. The touch was gentle and slow, contrary to the tingling sensation it caused that spreading all over Tiffany's body at the speed of light.

"This, is the borderline I don't dare to cross." She closed her eyes for a moment and exhaled a heavy breath.

"I don't want to ruin us, our friendship.I really don't need to loose another family." She said as she sported another sad smile.

Next thing, Tiffany lost her view on Taeyeon as she was back to snuggle into the crook of Tiffany's neck.

"You're like a diamond, an expensive one. And I'm a beggar, I could only admire you from the other side of the display glass. But I'm grateful to be given a chance to just even see such beauty."

Tiffany was frozen. Taeyeon wasn't on her view anymore yet she still stared at the same spot her eyes was. Her mind stopped functioning again for god knows how many times by now, her mind couldn't comprehend what logic Taeyeon's got in her head. She knew Taeyeon loved her for the longest time and Tiffany was ready to give in as she didn't say anything when Taeyeon was about to kiss her on the lips or so she had thought.

Her heart was a different case though. It didn't need to think all the bulls called reasoning, it was so deeply touched by her dear bestfriend's gesture. So deeply touched in a way beyond unexplainable. How a not-fully-sober person could still amazingly have a good hold of self-control and remember to pay a respect toward her. Damn sure if she was in Taeyeon's position, she would've been the other girl senselessly. Maybe Tiffany had been known all along about Taeyeon's secret love for her, for her smart mind was able to read Taeyeon's like an open book, yet it couldn't decipher how her heart kept sinking deeper and deeper for the older girl.

She couldn't blame on alcohol, since it wasn't her who chunked bottles of it beforehand, or her mind could spit out every possible logic reasonings, even the universe could conspired with stars and another celestials bodies for all she cared but nothing was going to stop her grabbing the collar of Taeyeon's pajamas, pulling her closer, then crashing their lips together. Nothing was going to stop her loving Taeyeon tonight. Ring on her finger as a symbol of promises her boyfriend had given her just a week ago was long forgotten, along with the fact that Taeyeon was committed in a relationship with that boy.

Once again, Tiffany's imagination of sweet and gentle first kiss with Taeyeon vanished into thin air since Tiffany kissed her rather eagerly. The sensation was just too much and the feeling was too overwhelming, crippling every single nerves and cells of her, making her went on autopilot mode and losing her sense of moderation. All she wanted to do was loving her dear best friend, loving her hard, loving her passionately, loving her with everything she ever was.

Tiffany never expected

how perfect actually their lips melded into each other. How Taeyeon was also kissing her as passionately, how Taeyeon put everything into her kiss and astonishingly, she could understand the other girl unspoken intention. In the darkness of her closed eyes Tiffany could understand Taeyeon's pain, Taeyeon's insecurities, Taeyeon's uncertainties and most of them, Taeyeon's love that she had hidden with great effort all this time, the love that was actually so beautiful yet Tiffany was just to blind to see it, the love that she promised to take a good care of it from now on.

As their tongues meet, another familiar yet foreign sensation hit Tiffany, jolts of electricity striked every single cells of hers, body's temperature escalated significantly, particular parts of her body yearned for Taeyeon to touch. Clouds of lust began to form. She parted their lips, for air. Hot breath tickled her lips from another's one that only less than centimeter away.

With heavy breathing she pleaded.

"Tae, cross the line.."

Tiffany gave in, and at the same time, Taeyeon hold nothing back.

---

OK, here is the last part.

There are some mistake that I can fix even how many times I tried,  and I apologize for that.

Hope it wasnt too disturbing.

But, anyway, enjoy :)