We were all packed for the weekend and my dad was driving us all the way to the countryside. It was a three hour drive so I fell asleep in the car. Nonetheless, I was excited about meeting my grandmother. It's been some time since I've last seen her and I can't wait to see her again. I hope she's still doing well despite us not being able to help her and that she's all alone in the countryside.

Time passed fast as I fell asleep in the car and soon, we were already outside my grandmother's house. As I woke up, I saw an old lady with a walking stick coming out to greet us. I didn't even register that that was my grandmother because she had looked so different from usual. Well, maybe it's because I haven't seen her in so long that she just looks so different. She looked so frail, unlike the strong grandmother I've seen years ago. My heart ached for her but I know this isn't what she'll want me to feel.

"Halmoni!" I squealed in excitement and ran up to hug her. "I missed you!"

"Aigoo! Our pretty princess, I've missed you too." She returned the hug with one hand since she needed the other for support.

"You flatter me halmoni." I placed my palms on my cheeks, pretending to be shy about her nickname for me. Truthfully, she's been calling me that since I was a kid so I didn't find that weird. With the exception that I am neither a princess nor am I pretty.

Myungsoo's voice then resonated in my head again for belittling myself. Gosh, even at the countryside I still can't stop thinking about him? What is with me?

Anyways, since it was lunchtime and we have not yet eaten, my mom decided to whip out her really awesome cooking skills to make lunch for us all while my dad brought our bags into the rooms that we will be staying in. My grandmother's house at the countryside is actually pretty big so my parents could have one room and I could have another. It wasn't run down old, it was still relatively new considering how my parents insisted for the house to be touched up a few years back.

"Ommoni!" My mother's shouts came from the kitchen and my grandmother shouted back at her.

"Wae?!"

"Where did everything in your fridge go to?!" My mother shouted back and my grandma started limping to the kitchen with her walking stick. I decided to go up and give her a hand.

"I couldn't walk fast so I didn't go out to get any." My grandmother said.

"Ommoni!"

Uh-oh, I sense a nagging session from my mother now and I was right. I casually exited the kitchen so that I don't get in between the crossfire and I went to the living room and sat down there. Checking my phone, I had actually received a text from Myungsoo.

I hope your grandmother is doing fine.

I smiled at that text and replied him that she's doing fine and that she has enough strength to engage in a fight with my mother.

"Andwae, I'm going to go buy some groceries for you. Yoojin, stay with your grandmother and make sure nothing happens to her. Yeobo, you're driving me. Let's go. We'll buy lunch back too so you guys just wait." My mom barked her orders as she walked out of the kitchen and began collecting her stuff so that she can head out. My dad straightened up from his sitting position and went to grab his car keys. When my mom barks orders like these, he should know not to ever disregard them.

"I told you there's no need to. I'll get them when I'm feeling better." My grandmother protested.

"Ommoni," my mother shot my grandmother a look. "Zip." She made a zip on as if telling my grandmother to stop being stubborn.

Within minutes, my parents were heading out to get my grandmother some groceries.

"Aigoo, Yoojin-ah, your mother is just that stubborn. Don't be like her okay?" My grandmother went to sit down on a chair and I helped her.

"Halmoni, omma is just worried about you that's why." I said to her and I helped her to massage her legs considering how she's been standing for some time.

My grandmother chuckled and smiled. She must have felt comforted that at least my mother is filial. I have two uncles as well but the both of them only seem to visit my grandmother once in a blue moon and that upsets nobody else but my grandmother.

"You're such a sweet girl, Yoojin. I bet there's many boys after you." My grandmother patted my hair.

I laughed awkwardly. Oh, how I wish for that but sadly, not happening. "Aniya. I'm just a normal average girl."

"Nonsense! You're sweet, considerate and kind. Who wouldn't like a girl like that."

"Thank you for praising me, halmoni." I bowed to her and the both of us laughed.

"Tell me the truth, do you have a boyfriend now?"

I was flustered by that question that I found myself blushing at that thought of even having a boyfriend when the guy I like couldn't even like me back.

"N-nope. I don't have one." I said shyly and continued to massage her legs for her.

"Then do you have someone you like now?"

I gulped. I thought about Howon, the one I consider as my first love. Strangely, I don't think I've felt that strong an attraction to him as I did previously.

"You have do you?" My grandmother spoke again seeing my silence.

I felt myself blush again at her straightforwardness.

"But I don't think he likes me back." I looked down.

"Did you tell him?"

"No! Of course not." I realised my reply was really quick and sharp and I may have sounded a little rude to my grandmother. "I mean… he's my best friend. I don't want to ruin the friendship we have."

"Yoojin-ah, guy and girl friendships can be complicated. You may think he doesn't like you but maybe he's also trying to protect the friendship. Same goes for you. What if you guys end up missing each other and he finds someone else? It'll only end in regret my dear."

I stopped massaging her feet and I thought about what she said. For someone her age, she sure have great advice about the affairs of the heart. I then decided to ask her about the recent things that has been going on in my life.

"Halmoni," I started. "There's this guy…"

And I started tell her all about the weird conversation with Myungsoo. I told her about how Krystal likes him and maybe she's going to confess after graduation day and that he asked me if he should go and I said yes, which I don't even know why I said it. I was making a fuss about how I regretted saying yes but I couldn't bring myself to say no as well. Basically, I told her everything. Even the part after where he was being cold and then suddenly he's starting to talk to me again.

My grandmother looked like she was in deep thoughts and then she looked at me after almost minutes of contemplating the situation.

"This is a tough one sweetie."

Gosh, even the love guru aka my grandmother finds this tough. Who's able to crack Kim Myungsoo please tell me. Because I certainly can't.

"But it seems that he cares a lot about you." My grandmother started. "He cares enough to ask how you would feel about him dating another girl. He's testing the waters, sweetheart."

"Eh?" I'm confused. What does she mean by testing the waters?

She gave me a smile, making those wrinkles on her face seem like they're all formed from the wisdom that she has and things that she's been though.

"Have you ever thought what he'd say if you had said no?"

Wow. That got me stumped. "I… I don't know." I confessed honestly. What could he have said?

"I think you already know the answer sweetheart." She smiled at me once more. "You can just tell him how you feel about him."

"Eh?!" I looked up at her. "Aniya! He's not the one I like halmoni!"

"Oh sweetie, only you know who you really have feelings for and I think you already know the answer to that too." My grandmother winked at me. Oh my gosh, my grandmother just winked at me. "Now continue massaging my feet please." She said and she leaned back to relax.

Oh gosh, my head is so confused right now that I don't want to think about anything anymore. Massaging her feet. Right. On to it.

My parents came back soon after and we all had lunch together. I couldn't help but think about my conversation with my grandmother earlier. She said I already know the answers but do I really know them? What if she's wrong? What is with this new wave of feelings that I'm getting? I wish such things could be explicitly said or told to us so that I don't have to spend so much time wrecking my brains.

The good thing is that I'm in the countryside now and there's so much time for me to do my own thinking. Just what am I feeling now? Do I even know what am I feeling? I don't think so…

"Ahhhh… I don't know." I buried my head between my knees as I sat outside the front porch looking up at the stars. It's hard to see stars in the city but they are so clear here in the countryside. "Oh heavens, of all the things I've asked you for… I just want one thing. Which is for us to be happy. My family and friends and me. And I think that will be the greatest gift of all." I said to the sky. The stars twinkled, as though the heavens have heard my wish. I smiled to myself and decided to head back in for the night.

--

"Ommoni! Are you sure you don't want to come with us? Our Yoojin is graduating!" My mom asked one last time as my dad packed our stuff in the trunk.

"It's not place for an old lady like me! Go on! I'll be fine here!" My grandmother replied and I swear, she's this close to throwing her walking stick at my mother just to chase her out of the house.

We had breakfast and lunch together and my family decided to head back before the sun sets so that I can go back and get ready for my graduation the next day. Wow, high school graduation eh? What an accomplishment for Jung Yoojin.

"Halmoni…" I pouted because she refused to come to the city with us even to watch my graduate.

"Aigoo, our pretty princes." She patted my head and pulled me into a hug. I held onto her tightly and I realised my grandmother had let go of her walking stick to hug me with both hands. "I sincerely congratulate you for your graduation Yoojin. I promise I will be there for your university graduation so do me proud okay?"

She didn't let go and continued to pat my back. I stifled back a sob because the tears were welling up in my eyes and I think I might just burst into tears any moment. I just have a soft spot for my grandmother.

"And also, do what you need to do. Go find your happiness my pretty princess."

She finally pulled back and a tear escaped my eye.

"You silly girl." She wiped away my tear for me. "Your Prince Charming is just waiting for you. Don't be afraid. Go on." I cried even more at her words. I am going to miss her so much.

"I'll visit more often okay halmoni?" I sobbed.

"Bring your boyfriend along too." She teased and I laughed despite the tears rolling down my face.

"Ommoni, take care." My dad said and waved goodbye while my mom gave my grandmother one last hug.

When I got into the car, I couldn't help but look back at the fragile frame of my grandmother's. How I wish she would come to Seoul with us. Stay safe and stay healthy halmoni. I will miss you.

Just like that, there was another three hours of car ride back home and I fell asleep while thinking about my grandmother's words. "Don't be afraid," she said. And in that moment, I wish I could be just as fearless and courageous as she wish I could be.

--

I was sitting next to Myungsoo in the hall and I kept turning around to look at my parents seated behind the graduating students. My mom gave me a thumbs up and she smiled at me. That smile that said that she's incredibly proud of me. I smiled back at her and turned back to face the stage.

I let out a breath as I got ready for the graduation ceremony.

"Are you excited?" Myungsoo said.

"Hell yeah! I did it Myung! I survived high school! Something I never thought I would achieve." I smiled brightly at him.

"Yah, have higher aspirations please!" He lightly jabbed me.

I was about to retort him when suddenly the emcee for the day came onto the stage. "Oh oh it's starting!"

Honestly, the relationship between Myungsoo and I had returned to almost normal. Why I say almost? It's because I felt like he was still being slightly careful with me, as if he didn't want to be caught saying the wrong thing and I realised it has never happened before until that incident happened. He's usually carefree and he doesn't care if he says something weird or not but I'm just glad he's talking to me now and not ignoring me or anything. I just want my best friend back.

The graduation ceremony started with the emcee stating the achievements of the year. Be it sports, the carnival, the performing arts, and many more. They even showed Myungsoo's showcase photo of me and I swear I felt myself turning so red I was about to shrink right into the chair. When that photo was up, Myungsoo was smiling at it so much I thought the end of his lips were going to reach his ears. He must have been so proud of his work.

"Jin look!" Myungsoo the nudged me to get my attention and he pointed to the screen. I turned to face the screen once more and saw that my art piece was being shown too.

"Oh my gosh!" I squealed and I don't know why but I took Myungsoo's hand and I was shaking it. Myungsoo smiled back at me with those pretty eyes of his and I found myself blushing at his smile. Gosh, I let go of his hand after realising that and looked away awkwardly. Damn it Jung Yoojin. Why did you do that?

Anyways, after the achievements were being shown on the big screen, it was time for the real graduation ceremony where we go up on stage to receive our diplomas. It started from the best class to the second best and so on. In that case, my class was the sixth to go up on stage.

When it was Sunggyu's turn, I cheered and screamed super loudly for my buddy up there. "Kim Sunggyu!" I screamed like a total fan girl I was.

After Sunggyu's class, it was Bomi's class. Of course, I cheered for Bomi nonetheless. She looked so stunning on stage with the bright smile on her face. The shy Bomi was gone and replaced with a confident one. She should be proud of herself and chase after dreams no matter what others say.

Woohyun's class was next and I swear his class has all the funny guys. Dongwoon being one of them. Dongwoon walked on the stage like he owned it and he started giving the crowd waves and kisses. We all laughed but I clapped and cheered for Dongwoon too. He's a funny guy. And I can also safely say that the both of us has moved on from enemies to friends. He still never called me by name but his snarky remarks have reduced by a whole lot and it is now friendly banter.

Howon was next and he went up the stage with a hell lot of confidence. He usually has much confidence but this was on a whole new level. The reason being, he had invited his butler to watch his graduation ceremony instead of his parents since his parents couldn't be caught in events such as this. So here he has his dream come true. I'm sure his butler is so proud of him as well.

Next up was my class and we had gone to a side to line up according to our class register. I was before Myungsoo so I couldn't see him behind me. Finally, my name was being called and I walked up the stage with careful steps, afraid that I'll fall anytime.

I walked the stage with pride. Happy and proud of myself for coming this far and I shook the hand of the principal.

"Congratulations." He said softly that only I could hear and I smiled even wider. I did it! I could hear cheers coming from the audience and I just know that my parents are one of them. This is my proudest moment to date.

A few of my classmates were next and then it was Myungsoo's turn to go up on stage. I stood by the side of the stage and watched Myungsoo make his way up. The cheers were super loud from the crowd and I could hear a lot of female squeals. Maybe most of them are from the juniors who were at the back of the hall watching the ceremony.

Myungsoo had a proud smile on his face too. His smile was so beautiful I couldn't help but smile along. It was just an infectious smile. And of course, he looked really good even just in uniform. He then came to join my class at the side of the stage and he caught me staring at him. Myungsoo smiled really brightly at me and I smiled back at him. It was like we were communicating through our smiles.

Once everybody from our class has gone up the stage, we took a bow and then went back to our seats while the next class got up the stage.

Of course, what's a graduation ceremony without a speech from the valedictorian? If you didn't already guess it, the valedictorian for our year was none other than Kim Sunggyu. He had outstanding sports achievements and academic achievements and he proved to be a good leader as well given his vice-captain position. It couldn't have been anybody else. Seeing him up on stage giving a speech, I realised that his dad must have been so proud of him. Just like his mother would have been too.

"We now say our goodbyes to high school. This officially marks the end of our journey in high school but it also marks the start of another wonderful adventure that we are about to embark on." Sunggyu started with confidence.

"High school is the period of our youth. At a tender young age of sixteen, we entered the school, clueless about how our futures are going to be. At seventeen, we start to mature a little bit more mentally, emotionally and physically. This is even more so at eighteen."

"But do we have our direction in life? Some of us do, yet some of us are still struggling to find ourselves. And it's okay to still be struggling. It's okay to not know what you want to be or how you want to move on from here. Life is not a script where you can plan everything smoothly. It is filled with uncertainties and surprises. And that is why youth is such a special time in our lives. You never know what the future might bring and you have a whole life ahead of you."

"It is the period where we learn to grow up. Where we face challenges and fall but still have a hand to pick us up. It is a period of transition where we change from naive teenagers to young adults. I know, we're not there yet but we'll get there someday."

The crowd laughed at his attempt to make a joke.

"Our youth doesn't just end here once we graduate. It goes on. We still have much to learn and we still have much to improve. This is just a start. For those fortunate enough to know what you want in life, good for you. For those who are still struggling to find themselves, don't worry. Someday, you will. And by that time, you will look back at your youth and wonder, 'why did I ever worry?'"

"So now, here's to a new beginning. Here's to us all."

Sunggyu gave one last bow before he left the stage and everybody clapped. I was clapping and cheering super loudly for him because his speech is so well said. I was touched by his words. What he said was right. This is not the end, it's only a beginning. At eighteen, we are still young and honestly, what do we really know?

--

"Omma! Appa!" I called out to my parents after the ceremony. It's time for the legendary photo taking time! I was so excited that I just ran up to hug my parents and they hugged me back just the same.

"We're so proud of you Yoojin." My dad said through the hug.

"I know your grandmother would be too." My mom hugged me tighter.

I smiled at the mention of my love guru of a grandmother. I know she will be too.

I had pulled my parents to meet up with the rest of my best friends. They've seen my parents and I've seen their parents too so I was hoping our parents could all meet and be best friends just like us. I know my mom and Woohyun's mom are good friends, that's how we got to know each other anyways.

"Meet the adults." I said to my parents and introduced them to the other parents. Both my mom and dad weren't shy to start a conversation so they really hit off well with the other parents. I see my mom constantly talking to Myungsoo's mom while Sunggyu's dad and my dad were busy talking.

Howon was the last to join our group and he was with his butler instead.

"Hey buddy, throughout the years I've known you, I've never met your parents before. Is this your dad? Annyeonghaseyo Mr Lee, I'm Nam Woohyun." Woohyun said and went up to shake his butler's hand politely.

Howon looked flustered and he was trying to think of an excuse while his butler looked to him for an explanation. "Aniya… my parents are not in town. This is my guardian until my parents get back." Howon introduced his butler that way and his butler gave a slight bow. Howon then nudged him, as if asking him to act more natural instead of being so formal. His butler looked at me and gave me a small nod. I smiled at him, knowing that we've met before and I have a feeling Howon definitely told him about me being the only one who knows his secret.

"Great, now everyone is here, let's take a group photo." Myungsoo said and we all agreed.

We had taken lots of photos. Individual shots with everyone, group photos, group photos with parents and many many more. I had to tell Myungsoo to send me all those photos in his camera once he processed them.

Just as I was about to join the others for a light refreshment, I was being called by a stern voice that had terrorized me during my high school days.

"Yoojin," that familiar voice said and I froze.

Turning around, I was face to face with the scariest teacher I have ever met. And not to mention, the teacher who hates my guts. The others just stared at me and Mr Choi gave a signal to them saying that he just needed to talk to me for a moment. Without my parents too.

"Congratulations." Mr Choi started while the others were still staring at us from afar but they couldn't listen in to the conversation.

"Thank you." I managed out.

"You should know, I am so proud of you Yoojin."

"Eh?" Proud of me? The epitome of a horrible student in his class?

"From the first day I met you, I knew you were something special. That perseverance you have in you, it's not something to be taken lightly. When your mind is made up, you put your heart into doing whatever it takes to achieve it. That attitude will bring you far in life."

Wait, what conversation are we having now?

"I can only be glad to say that as your teacher, I am so proud to see you stand on that stage to receive your diploma today." Mr Choi gave me a smile. His voice was less fierce and less stern. It almost seemed as if we were having a normal conversation.

"But… but I thought you didn't like me." I said honestly.

Mr Choi laughed. He laughed. "That's where you're wrong Jung Yoojin. You, are my favourite student."

My jaws dropped. What?!

"I was tough with you because I realized you just needed some push. If I had been soft on you, you wouldn't push yourself as hard. You would think that you're good in that standard that you were in. But a little push can make a lot of difference. Which is why I push my students but I pushed you the most."

So this is why Mr Choi was always picking on me? Every little question he asked in class, he would always get me to answer them. When I couldn't, he would give me that stare that scared me a hell lot and make me realize how behind I am as compared to the others. I then remembered about the times he made me do those hard math worksheets and he had even helped me with them nearing the exam. All in all, I was wrong about him. For one, he isn't the scariest teacher anymore. He became the best teacher I've ever had.

"Thank you, Mr Choi. I will do you proud." I said with a smile on my face. I really am sorry for misunderstanding his intentions but hey, I really thought he hated me.

"You keep that smile on your face young lady. You'll go a long way." He said one last time before he turned around to leave.

I stared at his back view and thanked him in my heart. He's a great teacher. One that cares for his students even if they don't know. He did push me. And I guess that has indeed shaped me to be who I am today.

"What did Mr Choi say to you?" Bomi asked as soon as I returned to the group and I just smiled at them.

"Of all the teachers I've ever had, he's the best."

The others were so confused and even Myungsoo couldn't think about what I was saying. He just stared at me like I was mad but I smiled at him. That's my little secret now.

As there were still lots of people taking photos with their friends and family and even the juniors, I went to take some photos with Jieun and Jooyeon as well. I will miss those two so much despite them teasing me and Myungsoo all the time. Say speaking of Myungsoo, where is he? The four of us should have a photo together. I turned around and I saw that Myungsoo was taking photo with Krystal and my heart fell.

"Who are you looking for?" Jieun asked and she followed my gaze only to see the same thing as I saw.

"Oh." Jooyeon said.

"Say, Yoojin," Jieun brought my attention back to the both of them and I managed to tear my gaze away from Myungsoo and Krystal. I don't think I can look any longer. "When are you and Myungsoo finally going to go out with each other?"

"Eh?! That's—"

"Don't say it's impossible!" Jooyeon interrupted and she said exactly what I wanted to say. "It's so obvious. We're just waiting for you guys to go out."

"Aniya, there's Krystal…" I said and I looked at them again. From taking a normal photo, they were now taking a selfie and Krystal was making sure her hair was in place. She looks gorgeous no matter how her hair looks.

"Yah, can't you tell? Krystal is just a friend! But you! You're more than just a friend!" Jieun said excitedly but I was still staring at the both of them.

"They look good together…" I said unknowingly.

"You and Myungsoo look good together! Have you seen the both of you together? No! So how would you know who looks good together?" Jieun continued.

I paused for a moment and I realized that this whole conversation wasn't right. "But I don't like Myungsoo."

"Keep telling yourself that cover girl."

Before Jieun or Jooyeon could even reply, a deep voice came from nowhere and it was accompanied by that smirk that I will miss seeing around. Unless we ended up in the same university of course.

I smiled at that hell of a troublemaker. "Yah!"

"Care to have a photo? Or will lover boy be jealous?"

I swear I would tell him how much I'll miss his jokes until he said that last sentence. Now I just want to punch him. Nevertheless, I agreed to take the photo with him.

After the both of us were done with taking our photos, Myungsoo was done with Krystal as well and he came over.

"Hey Myungsoo, hope you didn't mind me getting a photo with your girl." Dongwoon said with twinkle in his eye and he gave Myungsoo a wink.

"Yah!" I shouted at Dongwoon and ran up to him to try and get him. I didn't even bother about Myungsoo's reaction, I just wanted to hide my face in the ground.

A few more students then came up to take photos with the guys, some of them are even juniors that I've never seen before. Therefore Bomi and I were just taking selfies at the side.

After we were done, the graduation ceremony was finally over. My parents and I then head out to have a celebratory dinner whereas the rest were celebrating with their respective families. I had asked Howon if he wanted to join but he had politely declined.

"It's your family. Go on." Howon said.

"You know they wouldn't mind and you're family too." I told him but he still declined saying he needed to settle some stuff back home. Maybe he's going to go back to his parents and let him know how his graduation went since they couldn't be here for him.

"Hey Howon," I called him back before he could leave. "I'm sure they'll be proud of you. Even if they don't show it."

He gave me a comforting smile and walked off with his 'guardian'. I guess you can say that I'm really not sure how his parents will think, but I'm pretty sure that they will be proud of him. They have to be. They are his parents… I smiled sadly at his back view and saw him laughing and talking with his butler as if they've been best friends since forever. You deserve better Howon. You truly do.

--

It was just a quiet night with my family and I going out for dinner. It has been some time since we've been out and I felt super excited. My mother has always been a good cook so we always had her cooking at home. This time, we were in some sort of high class restaurant that I've never been to before. I don't even think I suit this kind of place.

Basically, that was the best dinner I've ever had in my life. The steak was grilled to perfection and the sauce was so good. I wish I could pick up the plate and it clean but of course, I need to keep maintain my image in such a high class restaurant.

After we had finish dinner and gone back home, I kept thinking about the whole Myungsoo thing once more. Jieun, Jooyeon and even Dongwoon kept saying that I like him. But do I really like him? I thought I liked Howon. This is so confusing. I'm not even sure of my own feelings anymore.

I sighed and lay on my bed. Howon or Myungsoo? Just what am I thinking? Also, tomorrow is the day where Myungsoo is going to meet Krystal for 'something important'. My heart feels uneasy and I'm not sure if it's because Myungsoo is meeting Krystal tomorrow or is it because I'm confused about my feelings?

"Ahhhh, I don't know!" I flipped myself around and buried my head in my pillow. I don't even want to think about this anymore. Let's just see how tomorrow goes… maybe I'll have a clearer answer then.

Despite that, I couldn't really sleep and I just found myself tossing and turning in my bed. My mind was torn between Myungsoo and Howon. Can I possibly even like Myungsoo? I've only known him for a year. And yes, we may have spent so much time together but what about the feelings I had for Howon? They don't just disappear do they?

The time now is three in the morning and I'm still wide awake. Gosh, this sleepless night is worse than when I was having exams.

I don't know how long it has been but somewhere somehow, I did fall asleep in the end, thinking about my own feelings and just who is it that I really like. My grandmother said I know the answer to that question but do I really know?

--

The next morning came really fast and I wanted to sleep in given that I didn't sleep for long the previous day. My parents had left for their work as well leaving just me alone at home but I was woken up by a ringing of my phone.

"Hey," I muttered sleepily into my phone without even checking who it was.

"Hey! Care to open the door?"

It was a familiar voice and I sprang up from my bed and ran downstairs. I opened the door to a familiar face and I swear I was about to collapse because I look utterly horrible right now. Messy bed hair, unbrushed teeth and probably bad breath since I just woke up. I was just about to close the door again when he held his hand up the door to prevent me from doing so.

"Don't lock me out." He said and he made his way in and made himself comfortable in my living room. "Did you just wake up?"

"Yah Lee Howon! This is my home! You can't just barge in like that! I'm not decent!" I shouted at him and my voice had even cracked due to the fact that I had just woken up.

"You're wearing clothes. Decent enough." He said nonchalantly and started taking out the things he had in his bag. He had brought movies along with him. "Go wash up. We haven't been able to spend time together in so long. Time for some bff catch up!"

I made a face at him and headed to wash up. After I was done washing up, I headed to my room to change out of my sleeping wear. It was only ten in the morning and Howon had already came knocking on my door. Has he never heard of sleeping in?

Anyways, I took my phone and was about to head down when my phone vibrated. Checking my message, it was Myungsoo. Gosh. Today's the day he's meeting Krystal.

What are you doing now?

I hesitated for a moment because I was still confused about the whole "who do I like” thing and by talking to Myungsoo, it isn't going to help my mind think straight. But then again, I'm going to watch a movie with Howon downstairs. I can't ever think straight so I just replied him.

Howon came by, wanting to watch a movie but I'm still so tired I think I might fall asleep.

Taking my phone, I headed downstairs where Howon was already waiting for me so that he could start the movie. We were watching a romantic comedy that we said we wanted to watch some time ago but never got the chance to. Finally, we are watching it now.

Oh. Have fun then. I just woke up too.

I peered at my phone and quietly typed a reply to Myungsoo.

Don't you have to get ready?

I was asking him about later. Doesn't he have to meet Krystal in about an hour and a half? And he just woke up?

Of course I do. Which is why I'm going to take a shower now.

I smiled at his text. That silly guy. Then I remembered that I was suppose to watch the movie with Howon and I placed my phone at my side, in case there was another message.

About twenty minutes later, my phone vibrated again and I took it out to check while trying not to make it seem so obvious. Howon's eyes were glued to the screen anyways.

I don't know what to wear. I might have to end up wearing my uniform. You think they still have student discounts?

I tried to stifle my laughter at Myungsoo’s attempt at a bad joke and Howon looked at me with a weird stare. "Sorry." I said and gestured for him to continue to watch the movie.

Just wear anything. I'm sure Krystal will find you handsome in anything you wear.

I pressed send and then I regretted it. Why did I mention Krystal at all? We were having a decent conversation until I brought up her name. Oh who am I kidding, it's not a decent conversation anyways. He's off to meet Krystal. I leaned back in my seat and focused on the movie instead. Don't think about them, don't think about them.

Myungsoo didn't reply for the next half an hour and it was eleven in the morning. Howon was still absorbed in the movie and I figured Myungsoo may be getting ready.

Time kept ticking and I couldn't get into the movie. My mind was elsewhere. I kept glancing at the clock and my heart started beating faster and faster as it nears twelve noon.

Two more minutes.

Taking out my phone, I decided to text Myungsoo one last time. Even if he couldn't reply me.

Let me know how it goes okay?

The reply came fast enough, just a minute before twelve noon.

Okay.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. This was it.

--

It is currently half past twelve and I kept checking my phone for any messages or anything when suddenly Howon paused the movie.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Jin, I wasn't going to say this but you kept looking at your phone the entire time. Are you waiting for a call? Or someone? If you don't want to watch the movie you can always tell me, we could do other things instead." Howon said and I immediately felt bad. Super bad. All he wanted to was spend some time with me and here I am, hopelessly checking my phone for messages from Myungsoo. Gosh, what's becoming of me?

"Nothing." I said, trying to play it cool. "Let's watch the movie."

Howon squinted his eyes and gave me a weird gaze. He leaned in closer to me. "Are you sure?" Sneakily, his hands came near my hand and I leaned back.

Without me even knowing it, Howon suddenly held his hand up and I saw that my phone was in his hand.

"Yah!" I reached out for it but my hands wasn't long enough.

Of course, with Howon being my best friend and all, he knows the password to my phone and he unlocked it within seconds.

"Uh-ho! You're texting Myungsoo? Is that why you can't concentrate on the movie? We haven't spend time together in a long time and you're texting Myungsoo?!" Howon said, not in an accusing tone but more of a joking tone. "See, this is what I mean by 'save me some time'. You're always spending time with him, when will you spend time with me?"

I reached out once more for my phone but Howon held it higher. "I'm not!"

I gave up after trying for countless of times and also because I can never win Howon. He's taller than me and stronger than me. I was contemplating if I should tell him about Myungsoo meeting Krystal now and I don't know what made me say it straightaway.

"Myungsoo's meeting Krystal for 'something important'. I just told him to update me that's all." I put added in finger quotations and slumped back on the couch. I couldn't do anything but wait for his reply anyways.

Howon looked at me and pushed my hair out of my face to get an even clearer look.

"Face it Jin." He said, seriously and he handed my phone back to me.

"Face what?"

"You like Myungsoo."

"What?! No!" I defended myself. Here I go again.

"Jin," Howon started. "I've known you for so long and the only time I've ever seen this expression on your face, it was when you had a huge crush on Kim Jong—"

"Don't say it!" I stopped him. "I'm still embarrassed about it."

"Well, you get what I mean." He dropped the part about my not so secret crush. "You're always looking for him when he's not around and you should see your face when you talk to him. Your face literally glows." Howon pointed at me and I smacked his hand away in annoyance.

"No, I don't."

"Oh yes you do. Should I mention your face every time Myungsoo goes to find Krystal? It's like disappointment written all over it. You can't stand the sight of them together. You like him."

I glared at Howon. I am already confused about my own feelings, how does he know my feelings and I don't?

"Do you hear yourself? You're saying I like Myungsoo. The Kim Myungsoo!" I replied him, flabbergasted because I never would have imagined myself to come to this conclusion at all. I mean, all along I thought Howon was the one and now suddenly Myungsoo?

Howon nodded. "Yeah, I'm saying you like him."

"He's Kim Myungsoo!" My voice raised an octave higher even though I don't know how I did it. I suddenly felt a surge of emotions that I couldn't even describe. It was overwhelming. "Liking him is like liking Kim Jongin all over again!" Howon raised an eyebrow at the mention of a particular crush that I didn't want to remember.

I felt a lump coming up the back of my throat. "He's smart, handsome, funny, kind, caring, he's every other girl's dream guy! How can I live up to that? He's too good for me! I can't possibly like him. You know how miserable it was for me to like someone like that." I reminded him of my miserable experience from crushing on the hottest guy in school.

Howon's fierce eyes soften and he looked at me sadly. "Jin-ah, are you telling yourself that you don't like him? Or are you convincing yourself?"

I was stumped. I didn't know how to answer that question and I felt like crying. I get it now. I finally get it. Tear welled up in my eyes and they were falling. I finally finally get it.

"Oh gosh, no." I cried and Howon looked shocked and helpless.

"W-what?" Howon stumbled and he awkwardly pulled me in a hug after not knowing what to do.

"I like him." I cried in his embrace. My grandmother was right. I do know the answer. Apparently everybody around me knew the answer but me. I like him, yet I've just pushed him to go out with another girl. Right now.

"I'm glad you figured that out." He patted my back softly but I wouldn't stop crying. I have been so so so stupid. How can I be so stupid? He's my best friend, so I thought I would never like him. Little did I know, I fell for him and my heart was too busy putting up walls because of my first crush to realise that it has always been Kim Myungsoo. Myungsoo and Jongin were alike in so many ways. My heart couldn't take another hit falling for such a guy again and so I kept telling myself I cannot fall for him. I couldn't possibly fall for him. I don't ever want to experience another Kim Jongin heartbreak yet here I am, falling for Kim Myungsoo.

"Why are you still crying?" Howon asked softly and patted my hair.

"I'm not good enough for him. And… and there's Krystal." I cried even more in his arms.

Howon stopped patting my head and he pushed me away. Placing his hands on my shoulders, he was steadying me from all that crying.

"Don't ever say that. Don't ever say you're not good enough for him because you are. You're an amazing girl Yoojin, I don't think you realise that yet. And why do you have to worry about Krystal? There's nothing to worry about."

I looked up at him. What is he talking about?

"Myungsoo's eyes never left you every time you step into a room. He always had the littlest actions but the greatest amount of care for you. He never look at Krystal the same way he looks at you. Was it Krystal's photo at the carnival? No, it was yours. No best friend would just put a photo of a girl as a showcase piece like that." He pointed out and I suddenly remembered Dongwoon's words.

Dongwoon had hinted that Myungsoo may actually like me back then. Could it be true?

"When you were sick, he was the one who suggested to go to your house to keep your company so you wouldn't be alone. If you think about it, I'm sure he's done a lot for you that you don't even notice. It's obvious he likes you, silly girl. You don't ever need to worry about Krystal."

It can't be… this can't be happening to me. It's too good to be true.

"How do you know? How can you be sure?"

"Because Jin, no sane guy who has nobody he's pinning after, would reject a dinner date with Krystal Jung." Howon said with a smile on his face and he gave me a wink. How did he know that? Myungsoo and I never told anybody we were actually going out for dinner that day! Sensing my curiosity, Howon answered that question himself. "Krystal may have told Hyuna and she may have told me to ask me 'what the hell is Myungsoo's problem'." Howon imitated Hyuna, trying to make me laugh and I did let out a chuckle.

It was only momentarily because I realised what I did. No wonder he was looked disappointed that day after I told him to meet Krystal today. He'd even gone as far as being cold to me. So he was upset? Disappointed?

"Howon-ah…" My voice shaking, because of what I had done. "I just pushed him away." I looked at Howon with sad eyes. "I pushed him to Krystal Jung." I said and then I started crying again.

Howon couldn't help it but hug me once more. "Go tell him. Tell him how you feel. Tell him as soon as possible. You need to start fighting for yourself now Jin. You've been looking out for us for so long, it's time you fight for your own happiness too. You deserve it."

And he was right. I had to fight for my own happiness or I will regret this. Myungsoo had told me where they were meeting.

I pulled back from the hug and looked at Howon, the one I thought I liked. "I have to go." I said blatantly and he just smiled and nodded at me.

I grabbed my keys, my phone and ran out of the house. I don't even care that I'm not in a "going out" outfit right now. I just have to go.

Maybe I had confused myself with friendship and love. I thought I had liked Howon but somehow, somewhere along the lines, I found myself falling for Myungsoo. I looked for him whenever he wasn't around, I got worried about him when he was sick or hurt. I was upset and disappointed whenever he chose Krystal over me. Somewhere, somehow, I've fallen for Kim Myungsoo.

Surprise surprise!!!! I guess it's no surprise for most of you but for those who didn't get the hints along the way, tadah!! So looks like Jin has finally got her feelings figured out eh? 

Honestly, remember I said that this story will reflect certain real life events that happened to me? I guess you can say this entire chapter reflected what happened to me. (not with Jin's grandma though) In high school, I had actually liked a really good friend of mine and since we were close, everybody thought we were going to go out together someday. (as reflected by Jin's 'love' towards Howon) and then in my last year of high school, I became friends with a guy that I shared many similarities with (aka Myungsoo and Jin in the story) we got along well and quickly became best of friends. At that time, I thought I still liked that good friend of mine (aka Howon) and then even my newfound bestie (Myung) knows about it. Then things became complicated as my newfound bestfriend started treating me really really nicely and then I got confused by his actions. People around me kept asking if I was going out with my newfound bestfriend instead and I denied it all. Then as time passes, I realised that I had actually liked my bestfriend (aka Myungsoo) instead. And whatever I had with my good friend (aka Howon), it was just purely a good friendship. My good friend and I talked a lot about relationship and stuff and he was the one that helped me realise my feelings for my bestie. Just like that. Whatever happens next, I shan't spoil you guys but I will let you all know (if you're interested in my mundane and boring life and love life anyways) once the future chapters are out! 

So this is why I've said that this story really holds an important place in my heart. It really does. 

Leave me a comment on what you think of this chapter and I will be sure to reply to them all!!!! (seems like my usual commenters are busy nowadays but I still appreciate any thoughts from you guys! All of you!) Love you all so much for constantly supporting the story :') I really appreciate it!