Sometimes I really don’t get myself. Often, I wonder why I didn’t do the most reasonable thing and seeked for help. Especially with my increasing hatred towards my parents. The thing is, I’m perfectly dumb and naive.

Despite the drugs, the alcohol and the violence, a little part of me still believed in miracles. Flashbacks from when we were happy and trouble free somehow made their way into my head in moments I wanted to give up everything. I remembered the good times and the longing to let everything crumble down to nothing disappeared. I was callow hoping that someday my parents would wake up and see the consequences of their shameless behavior and start acting like two grownups with kids who needed nuisance. I hoped and prayed for that scenario everyday, why I didn’t’ do the sensible and ran away.

Brushing my fingers through Minhyuk’s messy hair I stared into the television in front of us. Per reflect the corner of my lips tugged up by seeing the cocky cat Tom gored in the by a heroic musketeer mouse. My gaze flickered downwards as I  hoped to see a similar reaction from Minhyuk. There was none. Instead, the sweet little boy was sleeping peacefully in my arms. I smiled and placed a soft kiss on top of his head caressing the area with my palm afterwards.

Yes, I sincerely hoped my parents would wake up from their euphoric rush of idiocy and see the beautiful son who needed them. If not I wasn’t so sure on how to save this sinking ship.

I waited until the cartoon was finished before tucking Minhyuk to bed. He was a heavy sleeper, paralyzed through the entire process. With my hand wrapped around the doorknob as I was about to close the door behind I observed his sleeping figure one last time.

This boy had so much potential. He wasn’t stupid. He didn’t have learning disorders. He was just deceived and forsaked. How did they expect a boy his age to evolve into something beautiful when his parents had given up on the task years ago? How was it possible for a girl like me to keep believing that everything would turn out just fine?

My patience must’ve crossed the infinity line years ago because I wouldn’t give up.

I sighed with a vague smile on my face carefully closing the door behind me. I wouldn’t make all the effort go to waste. No, I had to keep on fighting. Fighting for the good life I hoped that someday would shine upon us.

There was no sound whatsoever in our otherwise small apartment. It awoke my curiosity as my feet brought me closer to the living room you could always find my parents in the act of stupid selfish acts. Now was no exception.

Peeking through the chink of the door I tried to take in the view which was extremely hidden by clouds of grey smoke and steam. I heard laughter and my ears perked up.

Through small gaps in the smoke I saw my father grinning of something. He was obviously high.

I huffed silently making my way into the concealed space of my own four walls. Far away from the sad existence I just watched through a tiny crack. Everyday I swore to God that I would never end up like that. I would never make myself sink that low and become one who exploits the society such lame ways. One day I would get myself a decent job, earn my own money and live my life peacefully. Far away from criminality and cruelty.

I would prove them all. I was not a daughter of a helpless set of parents. I was my own. I would form my own future.

Motivational scenarios ran through my mind as the last thing before I fell asleep and a couple of them included a certain brown haired guy.

~~

Monday. The reason Sunday , the reason for your bad mood and the day you hate with an extreme prejudice. As soon as I passed the threshold to the class it didn’t take two seconds for me to acknowledge the fact that I just should’ve stayed home underneath my fluffy sheets. It had been a tiresome weekend full of homework and drama. My mother managed to stay away for two days straight and when she finally came back home hell was let loose. My father was right in her face screaming and yelling various words I wasn’t supposed to hear due to my young age. And they didn’t even bother to go outside. It wasn’t like the walls were soundproof in any way. I heard everything. Also when my father apparently threw warm coffee at her. It wasn’t pretty for my ears and the coffee stains on the kitchen walls were far from removable.

So yes, the weekend was a total and so was Monday.

I found my usual spot in class without glancing at anyone. I was not in the mood. I just wanted to be left alone. The lessons passed by rather quickly.

It was the last two hours with Mrs. Kwon. I could do this. Only two hours. Two hours of hardcore biology. It wasn’t that bad, right? So I thought.

All my plans came crashing down after ten minutes.

“We are going to do something different today. I want you to work in pairs for the next assignment.” Sighs and complaining groans from eighty percent of the students echoed the classroom. I cursed under my breath. Typical.

“Pick a relevant subject and prepare a killer presentation. I give you one week. The project counts 30 percent of your grade so you better take it seriously. I’ll list up the groups.” Honestly I didn’t listen to the rest of the orientation. I was still a little pissed. I was not supposed to be all friendly and cosy with other people. That was something I wasn’t capable of at the moment, still I was giving no option. My life must hate me.

“Song Minjae… and Park Jimin.” Grabbing the edge of the table with my hands I had to steady myself. This had to be a joke. A very bad one. My neck was unable to move as my burning glare was directed straight at the betraying teacher in front of me. I gulped.

This meant I had to spent a whole week with a boy who made me feel tons of different things. Bad as good. I was so not ready for this.

“Go ahead and grab your partner. A week is nothing. Best of luck.” Mrs. Kwon directed before taking a seat by the desk, getting herself lost in what I spotted as english literature. Traitor.

I started to calculate how fast I should run out of the door in order to get unnoticed by Jimin and the results were disappointing. I was too late.

“Hey.” Before I could go for the run, Jimin had to drag himself and his chair to my table. The supermarket incident from earlier  had not left my body quite yet which explained my silent behavior. Where did we stand? Were we friends? Acquaintances? All I knew was that I'd made a fool out of myself by clinging onto him like a koala at our last encounter. Stupid, and now I had to face the consequences with the awkward atmosphere.

As if he sensed my confusion, he took the lead. “So, what subject should we chose?” He asked quietly.

Fiddling with my fingers his observant glance made me nervous. He made me feel so uncomfortable although there was nothing to it. It was just a passive look for Christ’s sake it didn’t mean anything yet I was sitting here making a big deal out of it like a lovestruck teenager.

I tried my best avoiding his eyes, why I kept my gaze locked on the button up shirt he was wearing. Then it hit me. Blue was really his color. It highlighted his flawless skin, his small nose and the luscious lips. My eyes wandered around his features. Moreover, his eyes seemed to stand out more making his orbs glint more. The brown in the- “Hey, are you okay?” He chimed in and that’s when I realized that I was staring at him the whole time. The thought made me blush.

“Yes, I’m fine. I’m really fine." I looked up shortly and when he didn't seem convinced I continued.

"Like totally fine. Fine, fine, fine. That’s what I am. You know, fine.” I blabbered and ducked my head afterwards as I felt the sudden need to slam my head against the table. God, could it get any worse? I’d managed to make a fool out of myself countless times already and here I was still breathing when I wasn't supposed to.

When he didn’t answer immediately I ducked my head further hiding myself behind the helpful curtain of long hair, internally wishing for my disappearance to kick in.

Then a stomach turning laughter caught my attention. He was laughing. Park Jimin was laughing. Oh, well .

“Is it now you will demonstrate your untouchable teleportation skills?” He accomplished to note in between his deep chuckles. I couldn’t help but to smile a little. He’d read my like an open book. This was exactly how I felt. Park Jimin must’ve been Zeus's illegitimate son.

I flushed even harder. Wait, I take back what I sa