Making this a two-parter because it's the day after Christmas (already!?) and if I don't post something, I never will.

SantaCon.

AKA the worst day of the year, every year.

AKA the only big event in December that Jongdae bothers to circle with bright red ink on his desk calendar--because who the hell needs a written reminder for Christmas anyway? (There's New Year's Eve, obviously, and Baekhyun's birthday every December too, but Jongdae isn't really one for anticlimactic countdowns--never has been. Also, Baekhyun yaps enough about well, everything, that Jongdae couldn't forget his friend's birthday even if he wanted to. Which he does want. Often.)

Jongdae's hatred for SantaCon is so legendary, in fact, that his three best friends--read: mostly just Baekhyun the devil child--call him the Grinch and joke that Jongdae hates all of Christmas. Which he doesn't. What Jongdae hates are drunk people in stupid clothes clogging up the streets of his city, and being a general nuisance to everyone.

"How could you not like SantaCon?" Baekhyun always seemed to wonder in the days leading up to the worst day of Jongdae's year.

Chanyeol, who always sides with his boyfriend against Jongdae anyway, then tries to convince Jongdae that the city-wide event has its merits. "It's an excuse to get drunk and not worry about looking like an idiot because everyone else is doing dumb stuff too!" Chanyeol persuades, and Jongdae thinks that of course Chanyeol would like something like that.

It's an excuse to disturb the peace, is what Jongdae wants to argue back, but he's been down that road with Chanyeol and Baekhyun before, and nothing productive came of it. (Except maybe Jongdae learning more details about their life--and the variety of ways two very differently shaped people can get down and dirty in skimpy Santa costumes--than he ever needed or wanted to know.)

Whether Jongdae has enough energy to bicker with his friends or not, they still know not to bother him for any favors on the day when SantaCon participants take over New York.

"Unless someone is dying or pigs fly," Jongdae reminds the pair at dinner the Friday night before, "then don't ask me to leave. Because I won't."

He's so prepared for his version of the zombie apocalypse that he has enough pot ramen to last for three whole days. His mini fridge is full of Dr. Pepper and his full-sized fridge has been filled with the latest batch of kimchi that his aunt from upstate sends every month or so to make sure "You don't lose your Korean!" (Her nagging might actually be worse than Jongdae's mom's.) Jongdae's even got a secret, not-so-secret stash of those really delicious dark chocolate peanut butter cups that he makes Kyungsoo buy whenever his friend gets groceries from Trader Joe's.

(A bag of like 6 literally costs less than a dollar, but Baekhyun always complains that Jongdae takes advantage of Kyungsoo's friendship and goodness. So Jongdae pretends not to notice when Chanyeol palms half the bag's contents to consume while they all hang out, and Baekhyun pretends like that's good enough compensation as long as Chanyeol remembers to grab him one too. They don't talk about the elephant in the room: Kyungsoo himself—because what Jongdae's friends do in their relationship is none of his business. If Baekhyun wants to like two people at once, and Chanyeol doesn't care, then Jongdae certainly isn't going to comment.)

Basically, Jongdae is "Secret Bunker"-level prepared for this stupid not-holiday and after he gets home to his dorm around 11 on Friday night, he swears to his roommate, Luhan, that he's not leaving again until Sunday.

Luhan only grunts because 1) he doesn't care what Jongdae does with his weekend, 2) he's rewatching Meteor Garden for the 12th time and he's busy, 3) really, he just doesn't care. (And it's always a little disconcerting for Jongdae to see his pretty little roommate make such ugly sounds. Someone with a face that cute shouldn't be permitted to be gross like that.)

It's because of his bunker-level security that Jongdae has a hard time finding his phone when it vibrates loudly enough to wake him up far too early the next morning. (Because he made himself a blanket fort between his bed and his desk while Luhan looked on and Jongdae felt more safe from the evils of SantaCon with a comforter over his head. Except sometime in the night his phone had gotten lost in all the fabric and it all went from safe to smothering in about two seconds flat.)

"Make it stop," Jongdae heard Luhan half-groan, half-yell from across the room. The sound was understandably muffled through the blankets, but it was followed by a thud as Luhan threw his own phone at the still fumbling Jongdae. That Jongdae felt as it hit his shoulder, so when he finally did find his own cellular device, he made sure to take his sweet time turning off the vibrations.

Jongdae was pretty sure he heard a mumbled "I hate you" as he flailed about with a little more noise than necessary to dismantle his fort once he'd hung up on Baekhyun's call. (He didn't even really need to look to know that Chanyeol's boyfriend would be the only one of his three close friends without enough self-preservation to avoid Jongdae during SantaCon. So Jongdae hung up without answering for both their sakes.) But then Jongdae's phone was going off again even as he was still taking down the blankets, and Luhan rolled out of bed to grab his own phone from where he's thrown it—just to get back under his covers and throw it at Jongdae again.

"Ouch!" Was then the first thing Baekhyun heard instead of the traditional "Yoboseyo?" and Jongdae's friend chuckled loudly when he asked "Luhan?" in a way that suggested he already knew the answer and just wanted to revel a little in Jongdae's pain. (See? Devil child.)

"Shut up," Jongdae countered, hating his friend for calling. Hating Luhan for throwing his phone with surprisingly good aim, twice. Hating the world for still loving Christmas and New York for supporting SantaCon and people for dressing up and being drunkards and—

"Dude. Grinch-y. Stop ranting in your head. I need your help." (Jongdae hated Baekhyun for the Grinch nickname...and for knowing Jongdae so well too.)

"What?" Jongdae practically growled into the phone. He shot a despairing glance at the big red circle on his calendar and felt the sudden urge to burst into real tears. "I'm not leaving," he reminded Baekhyun preemptively—and just in case. "You can't make me."

Chanyeol might have shouted a "You'd be surprised!" to Jongdae somewhere in the background, but Jongdae was too focused on ignoring Baekhyun's pleas to notice.

"I'm not leaving," he repeated vehemently. Baekhyun laughed. It was a scary sound that made Jongdae wonder if he'd lost the fight before it even started. "I'm not," he declared one last time, his resolve piteously weak, even to his own ears.

"It's for Soo," Baekhyun told Jongdae solemnly, placing the final straw on the proverbial pile that broke Jongdae the Camel's back.

"Ugh! Fine! Why? What? What do you want from me?"

"Dear God, Jongdae," Luhan whined, his face buried into his pillow. "Shut. Up."

Feeling properly chastised, Jongdae tried not to whimper as loudly as he could have at Baekhyun's next words: "Me and Chanyeol are seducing him but we left the secret Santa gift at the dorm."

(Out of context, the words made absolutely no sense. In context...well, Jongdae was still confused.)

"I don't even know why I put up with you two," he wondered aloud to Baekhyun. Chanyeol let out a flustered "Yah!" but didn't argue because the call wasn't on speaker and Jongdae would have just drowned his voice out.

"Fear of cats," Baekhyun shared confidently. (Huh?) "And being old and alone. At the same time. Like Soo will be if you don't bring us his present before we meet him in 20 minutes."

Jongdae didn't understand why one of them couldn't go back for it while the other waited for Kyungsoo—something about we're all in this together and it's not just Baekhyun who's interested in pursuing Kyungsoo but Chanyeol, too—but he didn't try arguing for very long. Soon he was dragging himself out of bed to pull on a pair of (relatively) clean sweats and a beanie over his bed head. He grabbed his winter coat and was about to scramble down to catch the campus bus but decided at the last minute to brush his teeth and splash a little water onto his face.

(Luhan's "Oh, thank God!" became an aggravated grunt at Jongdae's about face and once again the ugliness of the sound from such a cute person disturbed Jongdae greatly.)