Six years ago

Jongin had just ended his dance practice. He was rehearsing his solo piece for an upcoming competition. He didn’t realise the sun had set and everyone had gone home. Everyone, but one.

As he took his duffel bag and slung it over his broad shoulder, Jongin grabbed the keys and started locking up the dance room. The two adjacent rooms were his responsibilities, too, now that he was going to spend more time at that particular part of the school compound. When he arrived at the last room, however, he found it occupied.

There was a girl, and she was sleeping soundlessly.

Jongin took a peek on the room’s wall clock and it was already a quarter to eight in the evening. He slowly approached the female student, not wanting to wake her up. She had an arm over her eyes, blocking the fluorescent ceiling lights; her breathing was calm and steady. He recognised that dark brown hair everywhere. Who was he kidding? Of course, it had to be her.

Jongin shook his head, but continued to walk closer to the girl anyway. He took off his school blazer and dropped it on her legs. The short school skirt did nothing to keep her body warm, he supposed. He took a piece of Post-It from the front pocket of his bag and scribbled on it.

“I told you to not wait and worry for me.” He let out a tsk sound involuntarily and pasted the small note on her forehead, leaving the keys by her side and letting her be.

Just like that, Jongin left her, not even minding the fact that she had probably wasted all of her afternoon waiting for him.

─

High school had ended for them. Although the graduation ceremony would only be held early next year, Jongin and his friends couldn’t wait to celebrate the end of their sufferings. Off to a traditional Korean noodle house they went. While the rest were finding their seats, Haneul had excused herself to the restroom.

“Oh my goodness! Why is your so big, Byun Baekhyun!?” Sehun whined, elbowing his shorter friend away.

“This thing here, my friend.” Baekhyun started, pointing at his assets.

“Is a gift from my parents. I know you don’t have such fine asses─” He hadn’t finished his sentence, but Sehun had already shoved a napkin into his mouth. What a great pair of friends.

The waiter sighed at the commotion.

“Rowdy school boys. The seat next to that darker boy is empty. Why are they making such a big fuss about it?” He mumbled to himself, approaching the table with a notepad on his hand.

The rest stifled a laugh. Their lovely banter, however, was cut short when the waiter came. One by one, they shouted their order and it was now Jongin’s turn.

“Can I have one spicy dry chicken noodle with extra chicken and one beef noodle with the soup on a separate bowl?” He recited his order with ease.

As soon as the waiter left their table, the boys resumed their conversation; exchanging laughs and soft nudges on the arms. Quietly, Haneul slipped herself next to Jongin, smoothing out her skirt before she sat down. Out of habit, the boy took off his school blazer and placed it on her lap.

“I got you the usual.” He said.

She simply nodded; words weren’t needed to convey her gratitude. The two then got out of their small bubble and joined the rest in getting Sehun to spill out of the name of his crush.

“Oh come on, pretty boy! Don’t be shy!” Jongin hollered at his best friend, placing his arm on the back of her chair absentmindedly.

Poor Sehun was blushing fifty shades of red.

When their food arrived, Jongin took the bowl of beef noodle for her while she got him his chopsticks. She took the spring onion and other greens from his bowl as he devoured the spicy noodle. Once she was done picking out the vegetables from his dish, she gave him a piece of her tender beef because she knew he secretly wanted it. He was just too prideful to ask. Typical Jongin.

When his eyes rounded in joy at the sight of the meat, she could only scoff and rolled her eyes.

“You owe me a cone of ice cream.” Haneul stated blatantly.

“I’ll buy you the entire parlour.” Jongin winked and proceeded to stuff the food down his throat.

─

Jongin had been scowling all night. He was at Junmyun’s house, barbequing with the boys, and he should be happy to celebrate New Year with his closest friends, yet he didn’t feel quite right. His mind was elsewhere.

He fished out his phone and went to type a little too furiously on to it. Well, so much for someone who said he was okay.

“Stop bugging her, Jongin. She’s having a date.” Chanyeol threw a bag of open potato chips at the shorter male; the content spilled all over the latter’s lap.

“What? I was just asking her to get us a few cans of coke from the minimarket.” Jongin defended himself.

Two hours later, he was still eyeing his phone for a reply, acting like a grumpy old man.

“Thanks for driving me here, Taeyong.” He heard a familiar feminine voice and in an instant, he fled his seat and stormed off, reaching the gate in record time.

Haneul was giving a bashful smile at the black car, but Jongin couldn’t quite make out the driver’s face. He felt so restless not knowing who the girl’s date was.

She continued to smile like a giddy teenage girl in love even after the vehicle could no longer be seen. She was twirling and giggling and twirling again until she bumped into someone.

“Oh!” She gasped, stretching her out to grab something, anything, to prevent her fall.

“You’re late.” Jongin stated obviously, pulling her by the arms with such ease it was sinfully attractive. He steadied her by placing a hand on her back. The thick coat she was wearing did nothing to stop her from feeling his warmth.

Haneul couldn’t reply right away for her brain was adjusting to the sudden change of movement. Her mind was elsewhere, but her heart was racing. It was too close. It or he, she couldn’t really point out and she didn’t want to know either. The odd beating of her heart was enough of an alarm.

“There was never a specific time to come, Jongin.” She stated, pushing him away a little.

Well, she was technically right, but Jongin didn’t want to back down that easily. He sighed, but fell into the slow rhythm of her footsteps right away. They had walked together for so long it was becoming a part of his subconscious mind. Just like how he could recognise her smell even amidst hundreds of his other schoolmates.

They continued to walk further into the house in silence; the girl posing an annoyed expression while Jongin had both of his hands in his pocket casually. He knew he would get to the girl’s head in the end. He always did.

“What is your problem, Kim Jongin?” She turned back, stopping in her track so suddenly that he nearly crashed himself against her smaller body. Fortunately, he stopped in time. It was not like he would ever hurt the girl anyway.

“Okay. Fine. Who was that?” He asked, still having his hands tucked in his jeans as his eyes searched for her darker ones.

“Not telling you.” Haneul narrowed her eyes, challenging him before turning on her heels to continue her walk in to the house, but Jongin was not having any of that. He yanked her back to him. He used a force too strong; her nose hit his firm chest, overwhelming her with his scent right away. How could he expect her to think straight in such proximity? It was too much. He was too much.

“Did he do anything to you? Did he hold your hand without your permission? Or did he touch you inappropriately?” He spat out his questions, not minding the closeness of their bodies.

He was genuinely concerned, but Jongin was an expert at sounding harsh even when he didn’t mean to. The way his broad shoulders towering over her smaller frame didn’t help either.

She glared back at him.

“Why do you care? Why do you care if he did anything to me? Or if he had touched me without my permission. Why, Jongin? Why do you care?”

The boy was taken aback. Not by her outburst, but by her question.

Why did he care? He shouldn’t, but when his eyes followed her every movement out of the house, he knew he was not in his right mind.

Jongin let her go, watching in silence as her body got swallowed by the night.

It was funny how the wind started to pick up only then and the stars suddenly disappeared. The world always had a way to mock a boy in a tangled mess of feelings.