The ocean was majestic. This was what you had always thought ever since the first time your parents had taken you to the beach when you were six. Standing on the shore line with the mushy sand pushing between your toes, while the cold frothy water laps at your feet only to play hide and seek with you every few moments. The waves you could see far ahead of you crashed hard against the shore but always too far from you to do anything but make you giggle at these strange noises you were hearing. It looked so pretty, the rich blues and greens you saw from the water, always intrigued you. Sometimes you thought the water was blue other times it looked green but then it’d bite your little toes with that strange frothiness that looked similar to the bubbles in your bath that your mom would make for you. It was majestic. You didn’t know this word then but you did now and it stayed with you.

What disappointed you was that while the ocean was majestic and in constant motion, your feelings were anything but that. They rivaled the oceans strong current yet they weren’t nearly as awe-inspiring as those waves were. They crashed hard against your mind and body, never relenting except when you were too exhausted to deal with them. If only they could be as calm and peaceful as the ocean appeared to be. Instead, you felt like you were in a lingering storm that knocked you around in any direction it pleased, making you stumble at the worst times. As you came up for air, those waves crashed over your head once more making it unable for you to breathe. 

This was how Min Yoongi was to you. A majestic yet, dangerous, suffocating sea. He was around more than you could handle. Of course, he walked around the place like there was nothing going on in the world besides a cool breeze tossing up some loose papers someone had dropped on the ground. You however felt like those papers smacked you in the face. You had known Min Yoongi for awhile now. He was a friend of a friend’s, which meant he melded right into your circle of friends. At first, you hadn’t thought anything much. The guy was quiet and sort of kept to himself, constantly tapping his foot or a finger as if he was listening to music but he didn’t even have any headphones on. In one word, you summed him up as, weird.

That was until you had come to know him more. That dark haired boy with pale as snow skin did indeed know how to use his words. In fact, he knew how to use them better than you did. His comments were biting and unyielding yet, they were never full of malice just blunt facts. He gave constructive criticism, if anything and oddly he even knew how to laugh. You had thought he only knew how to give vague smiles with his shoulders shaking slightly in silent amusement. That was until you saw the day, he was actually bent over, hand on his knee trying to hold himself up from laughing so hard. His mouth was open the widest you had ever seen it and he showed a full set of pearly white teeth and pink gums. The sound that reached your ears was much prettier than you’d have imagined and rather infectious. Not to mention, he looked like an idiot who was about to fall to the ground laughing over a particularly dumb pun. At least, you didn’t think the pun your friend had just said was that great.

As time went by and the more you all hung out the more you came to realize there was a lot more to Min Yoongi than meets the eye. He was very serious but in a good way. He knew how to laugh and joke around and that weird tapping habit wasn’t weird at all. It was his passion for music, the driving force that would light up his eyes and that was when you knew you were doomed. The one day, your friend asked you to go with him to pick up Yoongi from the studio. Confusion settled in your brow, “Uh..sure. Studio?” This wasn’t something you had heard of before but then again, at this point neither of you really talked much. Well, not directly to one another.

“Yeah, the studio.” Your friend said so matter of fact, like you were being a dork for questioning this. When you arrived, you quickly realized it was a music studio. For some reason you had been thinking of an art studio, which also baffled you because when did that kid paint? Stepping into the cave. Yes, you called it a cave because as soon as you crossed that threshold it was like entering another dimension. There was bunched up paper everywhere, cup of noodles sitting on a small table. That was in there as well as various messy items that clearly belonged to the man who was sitting in a corner hunched over his laptop. The entire atmosphere changed, even the smell in the air did. It didn’t particularly smell bad, but it smelt like someone lived, ate and slept here. That person being Min Yoongi. You found yourself tiptoeing in the room, some part of you not wanting to disturb the person who had his fingers flying across the keyboard at light-speed.

It was another 30 minutes before either your friend or you got a response other than a grunt and a barely there nod of the head. When you did though, the brightest, proudest smile was beaming at the two of you and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t take your breath away. Once you had figured out how to breath through your nostrils again, the black beanie and hoodie clad man was flipping all kinds of switches and knobs. The quiet room filled with sound, a sound you had never heard before. It was low and slow at first but then the tempo picked up and it grew almost angry if that could even be a sound. The further in the beat got, the more you got swept up with emotions of how you thought it would be if someone was singing to it. All the while you couldn't tear your eyes off the quiet boy who rarely showed any outward motion that was beaming from ear to ear. His eyes glowed with such warmth and fire you knew no one would be able to extinguish it and honestly who would want to?!

This was the goodbye to your peaceful days. Sayonara. Surely you waved goodbye because there was nothing left. What was peace? Did you even know the meaning of that word? Whenever a friend mentioned that Yoongi would be joining you guys, your lips turned up in a smile that you hated. There were clothes littered across your room and only five minutes left to get ready before a friend would be at your house to pick you. The moment you stepped into the same air that Yoongi was sharing your heart was like a hummingbird's wings as it flew from flower to flower. The palms of your hands turned all clammy and you constantly wiped them on your jeans or skirt or dress or couch. Really, whatever fabric was next to you, you wiped them on. He had no idea that over one silly moment, one silly smile you had fallen. 

And fallen you had indeed.

You had fallen hard.

So, it was no surprise that today, you felt like your stomach was in your throat and your eyes couldn’t settle on anything for more than two seconds. Min Yoongi was sitting. Sitting on the couch. The same couch as you. Right next to you. Holding that nasty Americano that he always drinks in his hand, hanging off of his knee. Tonight you were at your spot, it was the same cafe that you guys always frequented. On Thursday nights they had live music, generally someone with an acoustic guitar singing their hearts out and hoping to get big one day. You guys didn’t visit every Thursday but just about every other Thursday. Tonight was supposed to be the same thing except about five minutes ago you had gotten a text from Hye Rin that she was running late. Also, where the other two people were, Seungchul and Minsoo evaded you. It appeared as if everyone was late except for you and Yoongi.

This was a problem. You couldn’t calm down while being alone with him. Jumping at just about every little thing. Noticing every twitch of his fingers and stretching of his legs was not good for your health. There was only so many times you could go to the ladies room and not look like you had gotten a urinary tract infection but refused to go home and rest and take care of it. Playing on your phone was rude, but right now it was your lifeline and while you tried not to. Holding it in your hand made it so you could breathe, because you knew at any moment, you could click that button on the side and slide your lock screen away and distract yourself if need be. Need be felt like just about every second. Yoongi wasn’t even doing anything in particular, right now the live entertainment wasn’t up but there was pop hits playing over the sound system to which you’d hear him softly singing a few lines to every now and then. You knew now that he listened to a lot more hip hop than he did pop but apparently that didn’t mean it was all he listened to. Surely, his music was more diverse than yours would be considering he saw it not only on an easy to listen level but an artistic level as well.

Small talk was normally your thing. You were pretty good at making it but tonight you just felt stiff and out of place. The man next to you didn’t do anything to help you out but it wasn’t as if he did anything wrong either. He tried but your mind just couldn’t focus enough to give much more than one word answers. It was horribly embarrassing especially since it wasn’t as if the two of you hadn’t been alone together before. You had, on multiple occasions and those had gone rather wall. Small conversations for brief moments of time but they were good. They were easy. They were also before you had crashed into that tumultuous sea you were now being tossed about in like a rag-doll. You wanted to make him smile, to hear him laugh, but the words just weren’t coming out. Not even to attempt to get the conversation in the right direction for those things to have even a slim chance of occurring.

So, why was he smiling right now? Why was his shoulders shaking while he must be laughing silently. He had his forearms on his thighs and his eyes on the musician setting up on the little stage area they had but there was nothing funny going