"Thank you." I said to the barista and took my Caramel Frappuccino. I searched for a place to sit and to wait for someone.

There is only one table with two seats left, which is on the right hand side of the corner - the table on the left is occupied by a guy with glasses, busy typing on his laptop. I walked towards the table on the right and I could feel some people darting their eyes on me from head to toe - they're staring at my unusual appearance. I'm wearing my black Nirvana t-shirt with studded leather jacket, black fitted distressed jeans and black converse. My hair and makeup probably caught their attention too, as one side is black and the other is blue; while my makeup is light, but with heavy eyeliner - basically what you'd normally see from an "emo" girl.

I sat on the chair next to the wall and on my right is the window. I put down my Frappe and took out my phone to message someone that I've arrived at our meeting place. I stared at the window watching people pass by with their family or partners giggling and laughing - my face painted a bitter smile. I remembered my ex-boyfriend - Jae.

I sometimes wonder how he's doing and how he's getting on but I don't have the right to even think about him. I've caused him too much pain. I heard from our mutual friend that he already debuted and their band name is Day6. Day6... I sighed just by the thought of him.

I've heard of their title track Congratulations. I'm guilty. I feel like the song was for me... I feel like it was made after our separation. Our heartbreaking separation that I will always regret.

As I was staring into space, I felt eyes staring at my direction; I tried to ignore it but the stare lasted for too long, so I slowly turned to the guy opposite me where I could feel the stare... his eyes - full of pain and sorrow. As we stared at each other with sadness, memories started flooding my mind...

***
~A year before Day6's debut~

"Jaaeee!!!" I screamed while running towards his direction. He was busy cleaning his "baby" Mery and ignored me. I sometimes get jealous with that guitar of his. Yes, it's a guitar. The number one cause of our arguments. I seriously can't believe that I get jealous with a mere guitar, but I also can't believe how he cares more of his guitar more than me. Like seriously, he can just buy a new one, while me on the other hand, is irreplaceable. So unbelievable. But I still love him.

Jae was my best friend... was, because he's my boyfriend now. Well, both can do as well because I still treat him as my best friend even though we're romantically together. I still can't believe that we're boyfriend and girlfriend. I used to believe that a girl and a boy can just be best friends but that was ruined when I fell for him and he suddenly proposed his love for me. Gosh. I still cringe whenever that thought crosses my mind. It's not like I don't like it (because I love it haha), it's just that I hated cringey things like aegyo or sweet words, but I sometimes find myself doing that. It's so hypocritical.

~~~
Two years ago, he confessed to me...or should I say serenaded? He was still my best friend then and we had a small argument because he didn't talk to me for a whole week and never showed up. He seemed invisible to me at that time so I decided not to talk to him. However, one day I heard someone playing the guitar and singing some odd song I've never heard before outside our house. [Play the song - Better Man by Jae Park] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vso75gWtXUc

I missed the first part of the song because I was busy and I kind of enjoyed the tune of the guitar, however I realised who was singing so I opened my window, walked to my balcony and looked down to where he was - to where Jae was.

You're the kind of girl I will give up everything for

Baby all I need is your love and arms around me

Ooh don't that sound kinda nice

There is just one thing that I need to ask you baby

Can we take this kinda slow 'cause I don't wanna mess up

Never felt like this before and I feel I'm going crazy

But I know I just can't live without you~

While he's singing, I can feel butterflies in my stomach but I'm also trying to hold my laugh because he's so cheesy that it just doesn't suit him, so instead of laugh, I was just smiling like crazy.

You make me wanna stand and talk

Clean up my eyes, do what is right and be a better man

Change how I walk, change how I talk

Even though this isn't really me

But just as I am

Do all I can with these two hands for you

But I know I just can't make it alone

Please be my lady~~

Hmmm~ Ohh ~ Oooohh~~

Baby~~

He finished singing and looked at me with his small but sincere eyes. He cleared his throat and said...

"What's up bruh?" Bruh? He laughed and I squinted my eyes.

"I'm joking Cess."

"I'm sorry if I haven't had the time to hang out with you for the past week. I can explain so please hear me out yeah?" I nodded.

"I was working..." he hesitated but still continued.

"I was working on this song. I know you haven't heard this song before and that's because I composed it..." He paused. "...for you." "I've always kept these feelings for you and I couldn't take it anymore, so I gathered my courage to do this." I can feel my eyes start to water and my heart beat faster and faster.

"You might not feel the same way but it's okay. You see, nothing will change, I will still be your best friend. You can still count on me when you're having troubles or when you fight with your parents. I will still be here waiting until you will feel the same way. Please don't be mad anymore. I can't bear seeing you like that." He said and looked down as if he really is sad and after a few moments, he looked at me straight in the eyes.

"Cess, I-I like you and--" Before he finished his sentence, I turned my back to run downstairs - straight to where he's standing. I ran as fast as I can and went to hug him. I hugged him so tight like there was no tomorrow. I buried my face in his chest and I could feel tears streaming down my face towards his khak Hawaiian  t-shirt.

"I-I--" I was sobbing so hard. "Sshhh. Don't cry" he said but I shook my head and looked up at him. He's really tall so I had to tiptoe. I closed my eyes and slowly pecked his lips. I could feel that he was a bit taken aback but still managed to compose himself.

"I like you too, you mean chicken!" and I heard him chuckle and hugged me tighter.

"Park Jaehyung, you don't have to change anything. I love you as you are and I've always accepted all of your flaws and imperfections. I just want to let you know that I love you so much and no matter what happens, I will always be here loving and supporting you from the side."

"Thank you,  and I love you more than you"ll ever imagine." I closed my eyes as he leaned down and kissed me. I wrapped my hands around him and he kissed me gently and passionately.

That was the best night of my life.
~~~

As years passed by, we were just like a normal couple even if he had to train as a singer. We still went on dates and go out as often as we can when he's free. I have also met 4 of the other members: Sungjin, Junhyeok, Wonpil and Brian.

There are only two things that we argue about: Mery (his baby/guitar) and when he doesn't have time for me and misses our important occasions, like some of the 14th of the month celebrations and other occasions - all because he's a trainee. I totally understand that he wants to be a singer and I know the responsibilities he'll carry, but... it's just that I sometimes can't take it because of the loneliness that I feel. I just feel as if we're strangers sometimes, that he's changed.

One day, he missed my birthday which was 2 days before his. I never heard anything from him so I chose to ignore him and did not greet him on his birthday. Days and weeks have passed and still no sign of Jae - I was really depressed and would often buy beer and chicken. I don't even eat the chicken and I just stare at it because it reminds me of him. You know, I don't wanna eat him. I would also just cry myself to sleep and sometimes my female friend would come over to comfort me - Hannah.

As I was passing a cafe, I saw him conversing a deep and serious conversation with a girl. I went inside and tried to hide so he won't be able to see me. I didn't want to listen to their conversation but I was really curious and I haven't seen him for weeks. I really missed him. Moreover, I wanted to listen to what the girl is saying - I feel like I've seen her somewhere before. I think they're from the same agency.

"Jae, when are you going to cut your relationship with your girlfriend?" said the girl in front of him and Jae was just staring outside like he's not in this world.

"You need to break up with her or it'll ruin your future career. It is better to do it earlier than later when you've debuted."

Before Jae could even answer, I slowly turned my back and left the cafe. The tears I've held in were racing down my cheeks. My vision was blurred and I couldn't see anything. I still tried to compose myself but I just couldn't. I went home with my mind flying away - I felt so light like I'm being flown around by the wind.

I got home with swollen eyes and my mum asked me what was wrong but I just went straight to my room. I really did not want to talk to anyone. My phone rang and rang and ended. On the second time it rang, I picked up my phone and looked who was calling - it was Jae. I ignored it. It kept ringing and ringing but I never answered it until I fell asleep from crying.

I felt a familiar hand hold mine but I didn't open my eyes. I know that touch, his touch. I still pretended to be asleep. He lifted my hand and kissed it, but as he kissed it, I could feel tears falling and dropping to my hand. I held my tears...

He then said, "I love you Cess. I really do. I can't leave you. I don't want to." After that, he stood and kissed my forehead. After a few moments, I heard the door shut.

I still waited for a few seconds just to make sure that he really left. I opened my eyes. I looked around my room and found no one. The tears I held in started rushing down and I could hear myself sobbing again. I love Jae, but I have made a decision...

I tried to move on... to show him that I don't love him anymore. When he calls, I answer but with a low and dull voice, I then make excuses to end the call.

He asked me to meet up and I agreed. It's about time...

~~
We met up and he seemed normal like nothing happened. Like he never ignored me. Like he didn't forget all our important occasions...

"Hey babe" he tried to kiss my lips but I turned my face sideways, making his lips touch my cheek instead.

We sat down and I stared at his smiling face. I stared with my poker face on.

"Babe, do we have any problems? Are you mad?" I so wanted to be sarcastic and say "Naahh, I'm not mad that you ignored me for weeks. I'm not mad that you didn't greet me on my birthday. I'm not mad that you forgot me.", but I held myself in.

"No Jae. I'm not but I think we need to stop, and find ourselves. We need some space." I stood up. With a straight face, I whispered, "Goodbye Jae", it was high enough for him to hear.

I was going to walk out but he grabbed my wrist, stood up and turned me to face him. With a confused and irritated voice, he said, "But why? What did I do? I already found myself, I find my future with you."

I snatched my hand back, "You found yourself, but I also have to find myself."

"I wish you success and I hope you fulfill your dreams with Mery. Bye Jae." Before he could even say anything, I walked out. I felt my tears crash down. I'm sorry, Jae. I love you.

As time passed, I posted a lot of pictures in my SNS - all smiling of course. Forced smile, that is.

I was in the train station with Hannah and joking around. We call each other babe as a joke and we have really high skinship, people often think we're a couple as we normally have our hands intertwined.

As we were joking around, the door opened and someone familiar came in, Jae sat down opposite us. He was staring at me...at us. I stopped and quickly took my hand away from the intertwine. He saw it. This is bad, he might think that I'm a lesbian...

I suddenly remembered my decision. I need to make him hate me. I need to break my ties with him. Hannah noticed the awkwardness so she held my hand and whispered in my ear, "Just pretend that we're laughing. Just make him think whatever he wants."

As soon as her face pulled away, I forced a giggled and smiled at her. The train stopped and we got off.

I walked as fast as I can. "Slow down Cess. We're far from him now." I saw the train move and left the station. 

I stopped walking, sat and held my knees... I'm crying again.

***

~Reality~

I came back to reality when his phone rang.

"Hello? Oh Brian? Yeah, I will go to the practice room soon. Yeah. Okay. Bye."

He ended the call and looked at me. For the first time in a year, he smiled at me. A sad smile. I missed his voice so much - his soothing voice. God knows how much I missed him. How much I suffered just to refrain myself from calling him. But it's all in the past now. He probably moved on.

He stood and took his things ready to go. Before he left, he gave me a one last look.

Just after he left, Hannah arrived and sat in front of me with a confused face.

"D-did you two talk?" I shook my head and remained silent.

"It's been a year, but why does it hurt so much? Why am I still hurting? It was all in the past..."

"He can call me selfish but I've done all these just for him. I know he will never understand but seeing him happy, then I'll be happy. For him." I said as tears fall down my face once again.

"It'll be hard, but I can do this. This will all be worth it. My sacrifice will be worth it." I didn't even care that my eyeliner is smudging. I let myself cry it all out and Hannah patted my shoulder to comfort me. 

As I turned to my right where the window was, I saw him...staring at me.

He saw me...

***End***

[A/N: Finally finished writing it haha. I've always said that I'm gonna write a fanfic starring Jae and here it is! Haha. I kinda want him to see this but I dont want him to as well. Haha.

You can just think of Cess as you.

I hope you enjoyed reading it! - Yeah yeah, I know. It's boring but I just wanted to write something...so yh.]

#3MonthsWithDay6

(C) to WoozoSound's fantaken picture of Jae and JYPE. I don't own the pictures, I only edited it. ^^

~~Sorry, if there are mistakes in the lyrics of Jae's Better Man. I might have misheard some words.

P.S. Jae, I love you! lol ♥