Song: Heaven (by FT Island)

Pairing: Jonghun X Jaerin (OC)

Specially for: imawsum

Word Count: 1062

Jonghun leans his head against the car window, his hand on the vibrating armrest, his eyes shut. Outside, the rain is pelting down, and the raindrops cling onto the glass sheet, threatening to fall down. He remembers Jaerin, her long black waves tumbling down her back, her honey-coloured eyes glistening with tears, as she stands in front of the mirror, her body clothed with a white dress. She’s ill, but in the faint sunlight that filters through the window, she still manages to look blindingly beautiful.

Then she turns around, facing Jonghun, who feels as though his breath has been taken away. It’s like he’s suffocated by Jaerin, who is dripping with perfection. She stumbles towards him, feeling that familiar wave of giddiness attacking her whenever she moves. Her fingers reach out to explore his jaw line, her fingertips pressing against his skin. She lets the electricity that runs through her whenever they touch, be imprinted in her mind.

A sob escapes through Jaerin’s lips. Jonghun carefully throws his arm around her, making sure as not to pull her towards his chest using too much force. She’s just so fragile now that whenever Jonghun touches her, he’s afraid that he might break her. Jonghun loves every part of her, from her tear tracks, to her sickeningly thin and hollow bones, and especially her eyes: those honey-brown orbs that represent something so beautiful yet with depth.

They stay in each other’s arms for awhile, absorbing each other’s warmth, familiarizing themselves with each other’s scents, something they’ve done for countless times this summer. Jaerin’s so afraid the feeling of being forgotten, or worse, the feeling of forgetting. It’s as if the cancerous cells in her body threaten to take her memory away from her. And though they’re in the comfort of each other right now, she already begins to miss him. Because she doesn’t even know what’s going to happen next.

They lean towards each other, desperate for one more kiss. Lips touching, it starts of as simple but then grows passionate as they open their mouths, tongues meeting each other, intertwining. Jonghun is still doing this with caution, not letting his emotions get the best of him. He’s just too afraid of hurting her.

When they finally break away from each other, Jaerin speaks for the first time that day, “Will I ever get to wear this dress again?”

Jonghun smiles at her, “It doesn’t matter. You look stunning.”

The car stops by the cemetery. Mr Choi turns around, smiling sadly at his son, ushering him to get out of the car. Jonghun only nods, the bouquet of white roses at hand. He takes a deep breath before stepping out of the vehicle, watching it drive off into the distance. He’s trembling and each step he takes towards the graveyard he’s looking for drains the energy out of him. He feels as though he has no courage to face the fact that Jaerin’s gone, even after two years, the heart ache is still there.

And there it is. The graveyard, so prettily covered by a patch of grass, bordered by artificial flowers. The tombstone is grey and still looks new, with Jaerin’s name carved onto it, a pocket-sized photo frame of her lovely face pasted onto the middle. Jonghun bends down, his back immediately feeling as though it might snap at the sudden movement. He winces in pain before gazing into the photograph, her soulless eyes seeming to pierce through his very own.

The eyes he loved most, are now lifeless. Even if it’s just a photograph, it still acts as a reminder that she’s dead, whether if it’s on the exterior or on the interior, and that she’ll never come back.

He still remembers what she used to be like, as if she’s still living in the present though.

Placing the white roses on the patch of green grass, he smiles bitterly, whispering, “I love you.”

No reply.

He sighs, his voice shaking, as he says quietly once more, “I love you, Jaerin.”

Reality just wouldn’t let him see, hear or talk to her again. Because she’s ing gone, he knows that, he’s convinced. But some part of him wouldn’t allow him to acknowledge that fact, because she freaking left without even saying goodbye. She only left a hole in Jonghun’s heart.

Jonghun isn’t angry at her, but at himself. He starts finding things he could have done better as a boyfriend while she was still living. He also manages to blame himself for leaving her alone, but then again, she’s in heaven. Isn’t heaven somehow better than reality?

He whispers again, “Jaerin, I miss you, like crazy.”

Still no reply.

Clenching his fists, he grits his teeth, hoping that physical pain can distract him away from the soreness in his chest: it’s like a gaping wound, and the one who broke him, is the only one who can fix him.

Jonghun knows that he needs her back.

Under the grass patch is Jaerin’s coffin. Jonghun’s doing all that he can, not to dig into the grass and then deeper into the soil, to reveal the coffin and then to feel her in his arms again. But he shakes his head, he lets reality consume his fantasies, because he knows that she’s dead, that even if he finds her body again, it would be empty, without the soul that he fell for.

Tears run down his cheeks. He reaches his hand out to touch the photograph, as if it would relieve the hurt that bites at him. The pain is so graphic it mystifies him, because it’s coming from the inside, something he thinks that nobody can ever understand; but yet he can think it out, and relate to his own mental description of pain.

These two years have taught me a lot, like how I don’t even know what I can do by myself, here without you. I’ve tried really hard to be happy, Jaerin, I swear. But I won’t ever let you go, you’re imprinted in my memories already, remember? How about you, Jaerin? Are you watching over me? I am a pabo, aren’t I? Please don’t worry about me, I’m not worth your thoughts or your fears. I love you, Jaerin, and just please be happy, in heaven. Wait for me up there, until the day I follow you.

A/N: I hope you enjoy this and thanks for requesting xoxo!