once in a lifetime
i feel like i used to know him well
i only watch him over from here
afraid of being closer to him
afraid if i hurt him
watch him from here is enough for me

but

one glance from him
that was a midnight
i passed by in front of his agency
he just took a glance and smiled
a warm one

i got frozen a sudden
i smiled back
he went away with his manager
passed me by with the black Audi
my favorite one
i let out a sigh

i see him again
smiling at other girls
seeing him celebrate his birthday along with others

i close my phone
my sighing is getting hard
i caress my chest
i take my pills
it hurts so much

the more i want seeing him
the more pains i get from him

his smile is not only available for me
but mine
is only mine
i write a letter on tissue for him

i pass it by a kid who not far away from his place
i smile to that kid

i see him smiling again
i am thankful for seeing it again and again
even i know…

even i know…

it is not mine
he throws it away
he runs

i let my breath away
i leave that place
but..
but..

his warm arms take me to his embrace
his whisper beside my ear
“once again, please wait for me a bit longer”

i can not hold my tears
but i can feel the cold taking my strength

“hold it on”
once again
i