Oh

I remember how I first met her, at a subway station. She was all I had imagined, I got her number from one of the sunbaes, soon after. I was always a fan of her, her rapping was smooth and sweet. Her smiles always made my heart beat. Regardless if she knew it or not, bit by bit and step by step; I slowly became a better guy. Whenever she laughed at my greasy lines, each laugh instilled in my mind that I would never leave her.

Time flies whenever we’re together, how unfortunate. But the times that last are the times that will be treasured. Father Time really knew how to play but I should be grateful because she was worth it.

            Oh, oh, oh~

 

It’s Over

 

 Leaving After School would mean I would have to leave him as well but I have dreamt of becoming of a designer since I could remember.

They say time heals all wounds but time is one of the factors that sever our chances of staying together. He’ll be in South Korea, I’ll be in Hawaii. 19 hours of a difference, 19 hours that add to the time we can’t communicate.

He’ll be too busy getting ready to debut and promote, the first time I’ll break a promise between us; to watch him at his debut stage. He loved rapping, he would always tell me his love for rapping wouldn’t compare to his love for me.

“I love rapping to the height of the stars but I love you to the height of the moon.” Oh, how I loved his greasy lines. The lines that made me fall for him. He had just the right amount of grease, that cucumber, that greasy cucumber.

But this was the only chance I had, the only one I could take before who knows when. To be a designer or to stay with him, I could only be torn.

“It’s over.” I told him, lies flowed through my mouth. I was surprised but it was obvious it didn’t show. The look on his face, the hurt was evident. The more I said, more pain inflicted on him.

This was it.  I told him, the love was a lie. I told him, I don’t know why. But one thing was for sure, love is over.

It’s over.

It’s Not Over

This must be a dream. This can’t be happening. “It’s over”?

I don’t believe it. How can it be so sudden? How can it be over when no evidence of her being tired of the relationship was traced? We didn’t talk it over, only the words dancing away from and stabbing my heart was the last of it.

This is a joke but it isn’t funny. I may be laughing but it’s to show the hallucination that only reveals the reality that continues to unfold. It can’t be over.

I became a better man, I became someone that she can be proud of being with and it’s going down the drain?

I’m not letting this go so easily. Who knew that the time we had together would end like this? Well played, Father Time, you’ve outdone yourself.

How can she leave me like this? Not once did I ever think about leaving her, not once.

I love her too much to resent her, to hate her. If she wants to leave, she’ll have to tell me the real reason, not some bull that she intends on playing out. “Our love was a lie.” She told me, want to know what’s the real lie? That. That’s the real lie.

Why is it happening like this? If only she gave this more thought, everything can be resolved. Everything. I’d rather she cry and ask for the impossible than for us to break up.

We should be piecing together instead of being ripped apart.

I can’t analyze why, no matter what reasons, no matter what runs through my mind, nothing made sense. I grew tired after my thoughts have been running miles.

After she left, I tried to forget about her. I tried burning her pictures but she just kept coming up. Her graduation? Everywhere.

I don’t know why. I just don’t know why.

There was only one thing I knew.

It’s not over.

Take Me to the Place

Without you, that’s what played in my mind endlessly, on repeat. That was my life that I would be returning to as I land in Hawaii. I couldn’t help but pick up a pen and my notebook on the 19 hour plane ride. The 19 hours, I could have spent with him. I wrote and I wrote.

My pen glided on the pages, writing everything I wanted to tell him.  How I’ll love him for all my life, how I miss him.  These feelings told me that we’ll be forever, lovers in the sky.  I was put together by his love and I know I’ll be alright with him.

Yes, we were torn apart but my farewell to him wasn’t a real goodbye. It was a lie, like all the things I wanted to take back as I broke up with him. I took a deep breath and think about how far we’ve come along.

Time will tell it’s reasons, the reasons of these 19 endless hours.

He was always there, he was my sunlight and I just wish I could be in his arms.

There’s so many things I want to say to him, I love him so.

If only he could take me to the place where I can be alright with him.

I just need him.

To take me to the place.