The snow had just started to come down, the small flakes swirling in the chilled wind of an early winter. The night sky was crisp, the air harsh as he took a breath in. He was waiting, waiting for someone who possibly would not even show up. The meeting was planned so along ago, it was unlikely that he would remember. He let one arm rest on the bench he was sitting on—which was already beginning to collect a thin blanket of snow— as the other came up to let his fingers comb through his hair. If the meeting were to go as planned, he would see him in twenty minutes, just as promised so long ago. The doubt that kept pooling in his stomach was returning already, as it had when he had left his house. He remembered how often he was the one who would be late, while the other was always incredibly early.

 

There was still time for him to come though. Maybe the habit of earliness had died out in the years, if he recalled correctly they would both be 26 now. 

 

Age changes people, that’s true. A promise, however, was made what seems like a lifetime ago. In reality though, it was a small three years. He still held hope to see the other again though, they had always kept their promises. They laid awake at night sometimes, the promises they made always so memorable. 

 

"You'll be waiting for me when I get back, right? I hate having to leave you, but this will be better for both of us."

 

The tone of his voice was so loving, so he had agreed without hesitation. They knew speaking would be too difficult during that time, so they decided against phone calls. The letters were too expensive after the first few months, so they decided to wait. It had been two and a half years since they had last contacted one another, but it felt like longer. Another soft sigh as he stood up from the bench, leaving the flowers with a similar blanket to the bench to stretch his legs. 

 

There was still time. He had eighteen minutes, even if he used to be much earlier. Doubt was again clouding his thoughts as he remembered the singular phone call they had while apart. He sounded so much happier.

 

"You're still eating regularly without me, right?" A small chuckle. It was un-natural for him to laugh so softly to him.

"Yes, Yeol, I'm eating fine without you cooking for me every chance you get." His voice was so much calmer, it didn't have the tension it normally did to add emphasis.

"Are the people there alright? Are you getting along with everyone there?" He sounded worried to the other, which he was. The decision was already made that more contact like this would ruin his progress.

"Yes, the people here are wonderful. I've met lots of lovely people in the program, even a few other people from Korea. One's almost as tall as you, Yeol. You'd like him, he's got a cold personality like Soo does, but once you get to know him he's just as nice as Soo." He could hear the smile in his voice, the fond tone that this stranger pulled from him. It was unnerving, knowing that he had not spoken to him like this before, but the thought was pressed back into his mind. It was selfish to think of himself in a time like this, he was perfectly fine.

"That's great. I'll miss getting to talk to you, but I think I should be letting you go now. I love you." It was a last ditch effort to remind him of the promise made so long ago, months before he actually would leave.

"I won't forget it, bye Yeol."

 

He was upset at first, he truly had forgotten of their promise at the time, but he still had hope as he waited. It was crushing to not hear an 'I love you' in almost three years, but he still held hope. Their mutual friends whom had also lost contact with the other told him he should stop waiting. They always said if he wanted to return he would have came back a year ago, but he knew somewhere in his heart that he would come soon. 

 

He would come he just had to.

 

His phone rang, so he dug it out of his pocket with his numb fingers. It was Kyungsoo again, calling to tell him to save himself the disappointment again. He still answered, already knowing where the conversation would go.

"Hey Soo." His usually deep voice was hoarse, the frigid air doing a number on it.

"You're still waiting at that stupid park aren't you? Chanyeol, how many times do I tell you that he isn't coming back to us? You would have him in your arms right now if he was." His voice was harsh, but it had the same worried tone it always held when he spoke to Chanyeol when the winter's first snow would come around. It had been their promise to meet on the first snow after he had gotten back.

 

"The first snow." A soft whisper against a pillow.

"What? What about the first snow?" Confusion in his voice he sat up. It was an early morning. They lay in bed and his hands pulled his cold, smaller frame closer to him when he said it.

"When I finally come back, I'll go to meet you in the park with all those beautiful pine trees half an hour after the first snow starts." He let himself be pulled closer, his head resting against the warm shoulder.

"You promise?" In response was a small hum, sleepy eyes drooping shut once again.

"I love you, and whenever you tell me you love me I'll be reminded of our promise. I'll tell you I love you to remind you too. We'll remind ourselves when we say we love each other."

 

"I love him, and we made a promise. I won't break it, I refuse to." Kyungsoo sighed on the other end; he was truly as stubborn as always. He looked down at the watch on his wrist; he had ten minutes.

"You're going to get yourself sick, at least tell me you're wearing gloves." His stern tone brought a smile to his lips.

"Uh, of course I am?" Kyungsoo groaned, a small banging sound on the other end of the line could be heard.

"You're such an idiot. I'm not sending Jongin to scrape you off the sidewalk this time if you end up drunk, so make it home without dying, okay?" He smiled even wider, his eyes glistening with mischief.

"Oh, special plans tonight? Be sure to tell Jongin not to be too harsh, we've all got a big meeting tomorrow morning." Kyungsoo groaned on the other end, and some kind of laughter was also heard.

"You're an idiot. Why am I friends with you again?" Kyungsoo was joking, but obviously embarrassed.

"You love me, just not like you love Jongin remember?" Remembering something important after Kyungsoo took in a sharp gasp of air, he spoke up again, "Oh wait, you haven't told Jongin you love him yet, have you? Woops I guess."

"Chanyeol," It was Jongin's voice now, "I'm going to have to let you go, I've got a boyfriend I desperately need to ask to marry me, see you at our meeting tomorrow, boss." Chanyeol chuckled as the line went dead. They had always let the term 'boss' be a small joke in between them. It was true, Chanyeol was in all facts of the matter their boss, but he never once acted like one. Their friendship truly had been special, and their work relationship was no different.

 

Looking down at his watch again, he realized his time had been up for almost four minutes already. A small sigh escaped his lips. Turning slowly, he went back to the bench to pick up the snow-covered flowers. A walk around the park would help him calm down. He expected this much, but the ever-present hope still won out until the very end. He wanted to wait as long as he could before he left, so he took his time in looking at each and every tree, a fresh layer of the new snow layering on quickly. It was a cold night for so early in the winter, but he barely noticed how his cheeks felt icy and how he could not tell he was holding flowers in one hand and his phone in the other. The snow was dusting his hair, dampening it slightly as his body heat melted it.

 

Each step was painful, as he got closer to the only entrance of the park. He really was not coming, and he probably never would. He would do this again next year though, and the year after that until he could no longer feel the sharp longing for the other anymore. The likelihood of that fading was slim to none though, so he knew he would always experience the same pain each and every year to come. Each year that he would spend without the one person who truly completed him.  It took him a moment to realize he was crying halfway through the walk to the entrance, but he grew to not care, as no one else was crazy enough to be out so late at night.

 

"Chanyeol?" The voice brought him away from his lost thoughts, his head snapping up sharply as he looked with blurred vision to a figure standing at the entrance of the park. It was him. He had came, and now it was finally safe to even think the name that he refused to let even his thoughts say until he came back.

"Baekhyun, you're late." Baekhyun looked up at him and smiled weakly. There was sadness behind it. He did not know why, but he could see it even if he was meters away.

"I can explain that. They held me for another year; I-I had a complication during my stay. I'm all better now though." Chanyeol came closer, his steps hurried as he came to be right in front of the shorter.

"Why did you not tell me?" It was a simple question, he had no idea what the answer would be, but he didn't even know if he wanted to know.

"There were a lot of reasons. The main one was that I was scared." Baekhyun now reached out for Chanyeol, who responded quickly by latching his arms around the other in an embrace. Baekhyun sobbed, pulling on the back of Chanyeol's jacket as if he depended on it.

"Let's go back to my place, I'm freezing."

"O-Okay. Let's go." It was rushed, but the instantaneous response only reassured Chanyeol of how nothing has changed in their time apart.

 

At least not yet.

 

 

"So," Baekhyun is sitting in the middle of Chanyeol's large apartment, he was fiddling with his hands as he tried to understand that Chanyeol's small cramped apartment was not the one the taller resided in now as he spoke, "What happened to your old place?" 

"If you're acing if I moved, I did. If you're asking who owns it now, that's still me." He walked out of the kitchen to answer the question with two steaming cups of tea. Baekhyun's was just a little sweeter with his as the shorter had always liked it that way.

"Why own that tiny place when you have all this?" Baekhyun's smile was smaller, and did not hold the same confidence that Chanyeol had seemed to be accustomed to.

"It's a dumb reason," Sipping his own cup of tea, Chanyeol sat down next to Baekhyun, close enough to feel they were both in need of warming up, "I honestly was worried that if you never came back, I'd have nothing to remember what we had. That if you did come back, you'd want something familiar. I could go on and on why I kept that place, but none of them will ever be the full truth. I've been dancing around answering questions about you for a while now, it's a hard habit to break." At this, Baekhyun deflated, his smile slipping away completely.

"I didn't tell you a lot of things while I was gone either. I don't think I'll ever have the confidence to admit that to anyone, I'm not the same person I used to be, and you don't seem to be the same either." His words were stiff, almost forced if Chanyeol was quick enough to notice, he was quick enough to sling an arm around his small shoulders and pull him closer than before.

"We changed a lot, that's true. I never stopped loving the one an