Myungsoo looks up from the pillow to stare at the clock for the umpteenth time. 2:30 am. His anger is slowly subsiding to worry as his mind wanders and he imagines the worst case scenarios of why you’re late and not picking up your phone. But just as he reaches for his cellphone to call you he hears the door to the apartment open. Myungsoo quickly lays down deciding that he deserved to have a little fun for being left alone all night.

 

Walking into the apartment you expect Myungsoo to be waiting in front of the tv, a pout on his face. However you're surprised to find the couch empty and the apartment oddly quiet. You walk over to the bedroom and feel a tug at your heart when you see Myungsoo lying on the bed fast asleep.  It was late but you expected, no wanted, him to be up waiting for you. With a sigh you grab your pajamas and go to the bathroom to change.

 

As soon as he hears the bathroom door close Myungsoo gets up and walks to the living room. He isn't really that mad at you but he is hurt and lonely and he wants to get your attention.

 

Walking out from the bathroom you head towards the bedroom when you see a glow coming from the living room. Wondering if you left the TV on or if you even the TV you walk over. What you didn't expect to see however is a pouting Myungsoo sitting on the couch with the TV on mute. It's kind of adorable to see him sitting there, hugging a pillow to his chest. But you know he's mad and quite possibly hurt. So without a word you go and sit on the opposite end of the couch, facing him. You open your mouth and try to say something, anything actually to explain yourself but close it when you don't know how to start.

 

From the corner of his eye Myungsoo can see you struggle to say something. It's kind of endearing to him to see how bad you feel even though it isn't 100% your fault. Plus it's kinda cute how you look like a fish out of water, your mouth opening repeatedly to close without a sound. But he still doesn't say a word. He's hurt and he wants an apology. So he just sits there waiting for you to finish, well start actually.

 

Realizing that he isn't going to say anything anytime soon you decide to just let it out.

"I'm sorry." You whisper so softly you aren't sure yourself if you said something.

 

"What? Did you say something?" Myungsoo questions, turning to look at you.

 

"I said I'm sorry." You say a little louder this time glad that he's finally looking at you.  

 

"And what could you possibly be sorry for? For leaving me and going to party with your friends? Or for not picking up my phone calls? Or maybe for coming home in the middle of the night? Or maybe not for having any time for you boyfriend?" Myungsoo lets out in a huff. All the hurt and anger comes out all at once and both Myungsoo and you are left speechless.

 

You knew he was going to be angry and hurt, but this you did not expect. The way he said it made it seem as if you had purposely left tonight. Hurt by the accusations you sit there quietly thinking about what he said.

 

As soon as the words are out Myungsoo wishes he could take them back. Seeing the hurt and surprise on your face he can’t believe he let his anger take over him like that. Confused and frustrated on how to fix this and apologize Myungsoo moves closer to you. "Jagiya...I didn't really-"

 

Myungsoo's cut short when you put your hand up, silencing him. "Don't say you didn't mean it Myungsoo. If you didn't mean it you wouldn't have said it." You say still looking down into your lap.

 

More than the words Myungsoo's surprised by your tone. You almost sounded, angry?

 

"But what I don't understand is how could you even blame me for any of that?" You say looking up, staring him straight in the eye. "Especially when you don't know the full story. That my friends only took me out today because they felt bad that I was moping around at home because I haven't seen my boyfriend in over a month. Or that I was supposed to reach home 2 hours ago but one of my friends got sick so we had to help her out first. Or that my phones battery died and that's why you couldn't reach me. Or maybe that the whole time I was there i wanted to be here with you because it's been so damn long since I saw you?!" You finish the end of your rant through clenched teeth not wanting to scream out of frustration.

 

Shocked by your outburst Myungsoo just sits there. Eyes big, mouth slightly agape.

 

"I'm getting really fed up Myungsoo-ah." You whisper, tears pricking your eyes. "I'm just so fed up of not seeing you anymore. Of not being able to be with you. I'm sorry but I'm just so fed up. I'm sor-" Your voice breaks as sobs leave your mouth, leaving you unable to speak.

 

Seeing you so crushed angers Myungsoo. At himself. For accusing you when he was the one in the wrong, for making you cry, for not realizing how much he was hurting you. Quickly he scoots closer to you and wraps you into a hug. "No please don't cry jagiya." He croons into your ear. "It's my fault. Please stop crying." He continues as he pulls you into his lap. He rubs your back as he shushes, praying that you’d stop soon because he can feel tears prickling the back of his own eyes.

After a couple of minutes your sobs finally subdue. Myungsoo slowly lifts your face up to look at him and mentally curses himself for being such an idiot when he sees the dark circles under your eyes and the dull look in your eyes. He can’t believe he’s been hurting you so much without realizing it. “I’m sorry Jagiya, I truly am. I can’t believe I’m this big of an idiot. That I’ve been hurting you this much and didn't have the damn brains to realize it.”

 

“It’s oh--”

 

“No it's not. It’s not okay and we both know it. I know that being an idol takes up a lot of time but that doesn’t forgive me for being a horrible boyfriend.” Myungsoo cuts you off, still staring at you with a pained look on his face, his eyebrows knitted together.

 

“You’re not that bad, just kind of slow sometimes.” You say softly with a small smile.

 

The smile pierces straight through Myungsoo’s heart and he can’t hold back the tears anymore. He pulls you into a tight hug as the tears fall onto your shoulder.

 

Your roles reverse as you try to shush the crying Myungsoo, rubbing soothing circles onto his back and continuously murmuring “it's okay”.

 

When Myungsoo finally stops crying you pull away to look at him. You gently wipe the tears from his face and give him another small smile. Yet your smile disappears in a instant when Myungsoo speaks.

“Jagiya, please don’t leave me.” Myungsoo whispers in a hoarse voice and you feel your heart shatter at the anguished look on his face.

 

You couldn’t believe that he thought you would, or quite possibly could, leave him. “Never.” You simply state, cupping his face with your hands. “I could never leave you silly. I love you after all.” You say smiling widely to show him that you truly mean it.

 

Myungsoo relaxes into the sofa, pulling you along with him and a smile slowly spreads across his face too. “I love you more.”

You open your mouth to argue but before you can utter a word Myungsoo’s lips crash onto yours. Your smile grows larger as Myungsoo repeats I love you over and over against your lips.