A year. A year had passed since bangtan had lost one of their most important members. A year since Taehyung passed away and the grieve was still fresh. Every performance without Taehyung was a stark reminder of how cruel the world could be. And how the world had taken away someone so important to so many people. It was a cruel lesson they had learned, and they had moved on from. It hurt still, but the members knew that Tae was up there somehow, watching them and smiling as they had comeback after comeback, produced song after song. Tae was still in their hearts. 

Hoseok opened his eyes as his alarm clock went off. He turned over and shut off the annoying thing, then curled up and closed his eyes. 5.48 am. That exact time haunted him like no other. That time plus this day. He sighed and slowly sat up, looking around. He felt alone, he was alone.  

He dragged himself out of bed into the shower, and from the shower back to his room where he got dressed in the clothing he wore at the funeral a year ago. He can't believe that it had been a full, a full year in which he hadn't seen Taehyung live, hadn't heard his voice, his laugh, seen his boxy smile. He missed him, he missed the orange hair and the boxy grin and all the jokes and the genuine kindness and the innocence that Taehyung was. No, he was gone and that ing hurt still but Hoseok couldn't do anything about it. He still grieved, members still found him crying at night, wondering where Taehyung was and then remembering, and then crying louder. He focused on his music most nowadays to keep himself distracted. But today, he'd visit the grave for the first time again in a year. Today, he needed to move on because it had been too long and he couldn't continue to grieve no more. 

It was still too early to be awake and the rest was asleep. He didn't mind, he wanted to be alone, prepare himself to meet the grave, see the stone and feel the emotions rushing over him. He didn't eat, he couldn't eat, not a single bite because it simply hurt too much. Maybe that made him weak, he didn't really care. He checked twitter to see the fans messages, telling them to be strong today and to take care of themselves. Hoseok swallowed because, a year ago he would have looked at the messages together with Taehyung. But Taehyung was no more and so he was on his own. It hurt still. He knew Taehyung's parents would be there at the grave later today as well, together with some fans, perhaps. He didn't really care. All he cared about was seeing that stone and moving on again. No matter how hard it was to move on, he had to. The past was the past. 

The first one to wake and enter the kitchen after Hoseok had was Seokjin. The older male gave a kind smile but said nothing, knowing Hoseok wasn't dealing with this day too well. He made himself some coffee and sat down beside him, quietly sipping from the mug and occasionally glancing at Hoseok. 

The past year had been hard on all of them, but Hoseok had suffered the most. Hoseok and Jimin had gone through the most grieving, and still grieved from time to time. They had grown quiet in the dorm, never themselves again. Where the two were usually always grinning and laughing, they were now silent and retreated, often just in their room when they had nothing to do. On fancams and on stage, they acted all the same to convince their fans that they were fine, that nothing was wrong, but everyone knew different. Seokjin was constantly worried about the two but he couldn't help much, except force them to eat every day and make sure they stayed hydrated. Not always an easy task because they barely had any will to eat and it wasns't nice to force your friends. But he had to, to make sure they stayed healthy. Losing one member was enough, losing more than one was going to break them apart. 

Slowly, the others woke up. Jimin who sipped three mugs of coffee before getting ready, Namjoon who showed himself and then left again, and so on. And so, around nine everyone was ready to go and they climbed into the van. And they drove in silence, none of them feeling the need to say anything. Hoseok listened to music, ears plugged in and music turned up. The sun was shining, reminding him of Taehyung's smile that could lit up an entire room. He swallowed, feeling the tears but keeping them back. 

The van stopped at the graveyard. Hoseok got out of the van and unplugged his earbuds. He looked around and swallowed hard, tears welling up in his eyes. Jimin stood beside him and sighed softly, almost dreading the decision to come along. But Taehyung had been his best friend. And so the group headed to the grave, Hoseok trailing behind because he didn't want to see the stone, be confronted with the hard truth that Taehyung was actually gone. 

It was a quiet walk, the graveyard was quite big. He looked at the trees, the birds hopping around and flying away. He sighed and took a deep breath before stopping in front of the stone, the grave of Taehyung. Seokjin handed him the orange rose and Hoseok bent down, putting the rose on the grave and sniffing.  

The others said their words, Hoseok waited until he was all alone. He sighed and dropped to his knees, staring at the grave. 

"I miss you..." He mumbled, feeling rather stupid for speaking to a stone. He looked around himself, saw he was all alone and felt some comfort in that. He closed his eyes and clenched his fists. "I ing miss you. Everyone does. I don't understand why life took you away from us. You belong here, you're too young, but it happened. Taehyung..." 

Hoseok let out a soft sob and brought a hand up to wipe the running tears. "Taehyung... I miss you. It's been a year. A year full of grieve and support and... loneliness. Because you're not here. I miss everything about you. Taehyung... I know you're listening," he said. He could imagine a ghost, Tae's ghost, laying a hand on his shoulder. He could feel it. "I love you, Kim Taehyung. And I must move on. Grieving this much is not healthy. I miss you, and I'll always do so, but I have to move on, for myself, for my fans, for BTS, and most of all... for you. You're lingering around still, you're not peacefully resting because I keep clinging to you." He could feel Tae's hand squeeze his shoulder. "So I say goodbye now. Goodbye Taehyung. May we meet soon again." 

Hoseok opened his eyes and rose to his feet. He looked at the grave and smiled, the sunlight falling so beautifully on the grave. He imagined, or he saw for real, Taehyung's ghost in front of him. A boxy smile that he loved so much. And he hugged him and then the ghost pecked his lips, whispered 'I love you' and vanished. And Hoseok smiled, knowing Taehyung was finally at peace. 

One harsh year. 365 days of pain, sadness, tears. And Hoseok could finally smile genuinely for the first time. He nodded, turned and headed back to the van. Everything would be okay because Taehyung was finally resting peacefully.