She wasn’t supposed to be here at the moment, heck she didn’t need to be here because its already been decided that they will be no longer together.

She decided it.

But she’s here anyway.

From where she’s standing, she could hear a low hum beats coming from a closed door just a few steps away from her.

It still looked the same, that room, with its plain white door, with a black placket attached on the door that says PRACTICE ROOM above a glass framed posters of a group she hold dearly in her heart. Her second family, whom sadly she had to take separate ways with. 

She had to, for the sake of all of them.

Looking back of what had happened, maybe it was her fault. She wasn’t strong enough, she didn’t that enough will,  and she just wanted to give up, so she did.

But was it really her entire fault?

Would the others, the fans preferred her to stay even though she felt like she has a large burden on her shoulders, stress that leads to depression and those emotional and mind stress?

Besides, its not like no matter how hard she tried to do her best, to showed her best, she’ll get appreciated.

The hate, the harsh words, the malicious comments, it never stopped, it consumed her sanity and in the end, the stability within the groups.

She might be selfish over other things, like love, but she couldn’t be selfish towards her family, them.

There’s so much for them out there and she couldn’t helped but to feel that they were all gets halted because of her, her ‘issues’.

She believed what she did is for the best, for all of them.

Yes it might appeared that she’s deciding it only based on her own interest, but she just couldn’t anymore, and she’s scared, really scared that what happened to her would dragged them along with her, down to the drain, she couldn’t.

She couldn’t let that happened, not when they’ve done a lot to make them to get onto the place they’re standing today.

Not when two of the members sacrificed so much, more than her and the other two had did so far just to get to this spot, not when the other two members deserved a recognition more than anything. They deserved a lot, a lot more than what they got now, and she’s afraid, really afraid that because of her, they wouldn’t be able to get what they deserves..

“Yah you!” she was taken back when she heard someone yelled at her from the practice room door “Are you deaf or something?” the girl with a long dark hair frowned at her “I’ve been calling your name but you looked like you’re in.. whatever, what are you doing there?”

“Who are you talking to Soojung-ah?” a short haired girl showed up behind the girl she called Soojung “Oh?! Ssul!” she shout brightly, opened up the door widely then run to her before she suddenly hugged her and lifter her around.

Someone else coming from the door, squealing before the long brownish girl bounced to where Sulli and Amber stands and did their own little group hug.

“What’s going on here?” the leader of the group came with a plastic of snacks and drink she bought from the nearest minimart and looked really surprised when she saw the three girls who are busy hugging and jumping around, well more to Amber and Luna did the movement while Sulli just giggled madly in the middle of their hugs “Oh! Sulli! You’re here!” then grinned widely.

“Unnie come here! Join us!” shouts Luna. Victoria being Victoria not hesitate to put the plastic bag on the ground and joined the crowd, hugging and jumping around while laughing out loud, while at the door, stand Jung Soojung, the maknae of the group, judging her unnies hard, with a small smile plastered on her beautiful face.

They took separate ways, yes.

Sulli is no longer part of the group, yes.

f(x) will become 4 from now on.

But don’t questioned that 5 of them, had been through a lot together, had grew up together, through years and at one point of their life together, had becomes more than just group members.

They’ll be f(x) members, forever.

They’ll be f(riends), forever

They’ll be f(amily), forever

Well at least for me, their old fan, literally.