Hi how are you?

No erase that.

hello!

No no this is the worst.

hi

It's better. But i'm not sure to send it to you. i hestitate click the 'send' button. i keep watched my phone like there's something important to look, the reality is just our old chat. it written 9 months ago with the same background, your favorite flower, sun flower. and yes everyday i reread our old messages. loser? yes i am

Still, i keep looking to my phone. still hestitated. I just wanna tell you that i'm okay. That's all, nothing much. my thumb is trembling and accidently it send. Oh hell no. it shouldn't be like this. oh .

Not long, my phone beeped. there's your name on it. Sorry whos's this? maybe you send to the wrong number you replied. Great, you already erase my number. it seems easy for you to forget a bastard like me right? a boy who choose another girl than you. stupid right?. A hundred times I reread your message. still, same feel like when we're still together. 

The truth is, i'm not okay. that's a lie when my friends even my bestfriend asked me how's life and then i answered i'm fine. that's a lie. i'm not that fine. a big guilty hole inside my heart. just remember your natural makeup ruined your face when i said 'let's breakup'. you still pretty with that but i know your heart were cut into a milion pieces just like me now.

Sigh

The sky is just perfect. bright blue sky with clouds. white clouds like a cotton candy like we used to eat and it's your favorite to eat a cotton candy. oh are you still the same (y/n)? I'm still the old Seungyoon anyway. Seungyoon who always worry about something small, a boy who likes to play guitar under the moonlight and sing a song depend on my mood, Seungyoon who still love you. And i just realized that my ex is a . She wanted me beacuse she wanted to close with Donghyuk. I heard Donghyuk didn't love her back. He knew that she's my ex and used me to be close to him. Donghyuk hated her (Maybe untill now).

I'm still alive and eat well eventough i left you and that left me. Don't you worry, my mom is the best cook in this world! she always cooks me a healty and good foods everyday. Do you now? I even gain some weight. Hey did you still see me somewhere? In hongdae maybe or somewhere? did you still see me even just a glance? i bet you never right? that's not a problem. Maybe you just too happy with him, a hundred times better than me.

Anyway, how about you? are you the still the same? did you cry sometimes because you're to sad? i just heard stuff about you from Taehyun. I honestly feel a bit down and sorry. actually i have so many fun activity to do. i want you to hear my song under the moonlight and a nice night sky with stars under my favorite tree in the park.

Did you now? Yesterday i went to that beach when you spoiled an ice cream and i helped you and bought you a new ice cream. i still don't know why i wanted to help you just i don't know something in my heart said that i should help you. that's all. you were so cute with your ponytail and yellow t-shirt and blue jeans. I never know that you are in the same university like i am. but honestly my first impression about you is unforgetable.

The gentle wave from beach was so refreshing. I came there yesterday to tooka fresh air. almost everyday i inhale not a fresh air and stressed out about our upcoming project. it's almost done but you know i worried a simple things. Mino hyung and Jinwoo hyung told me not to worry that much. They're such a good friends i think. Taehyun is a good partner! he helped me a lot. While, Seunghoon hyung he asked me to met him in the restaurant.

Yesterday's weather is good just like today. a perfect blue sky, many people gathered around here to sunbathing or did sports activity. Perfect summer for them but not for me. A boy who always sing a mellow songs in his window in hope that his girl will come back to him. The wind was calmer than our first meeting. i can imagine your hair will blow so beautifully as you bought me the same cotton candy.

That should be easy to forget you right?

But why i can't forget you? i know i can't force my feeling but it hurts to see you in another boy's arm.

Oh no don't take a pity on me. i'm a just Seungyoon your ex. yeah your ex

I heard that you have someone new. i heard he's nice to you, i heard he's a perfect man. In my point of view, there's no perfect human in this world. he's just so so. you just don't know about his true habit. everynights he goes to the club and meet many girls. just wait you will coming back to me. I will stay here and wait for you. i still can't let you go. 

Once, i saw your 'perfect man' in Anyang. he's really cool. he has something that i don't have. Around a months ago, i saw you walked with him in Hongdae. Oh wow your hands really fits to him. but you know, my hands still the best. Can i be honest to that guy? i know i'm just your ex. I'm jealous to that guy.

You know.. I'm still the best. i'm going to be a better person than him.

Do you know? sometimes i imagine you and me under that tree. we're holding hands while looking the stars shining so bright in the dark night. Soon as the night getting darker, you lean your head on my shoulder.

i know that cheesy and too mainstream. but i try honest to you.

Sorry i send it to wrong number - I reply.