03.01 AM

I failed to trace the pulse on my wrist as I felt my heart stopped.

One minute to three in the morning.

The same nightmare had been repeatedly visiting me in my sleep. And for the thousandth time, I found myself waking up at the ungodly hour.

How I even managed to drift into unconsciousness in the first place, I did not know.

I shakily entwined my fingers together and took a deep breath.

This was nothing new. Episodes of a different nightmare once haunted me to the brink of my death. That was a few years ago.

A scene from the nightmare I just had played out involuntarily in my mind. Then I dreaded at a realisation; he was there again. He appeared in my every nightmare.

His laugh sounded very vivid in my head, as if he was here in my room, taking pleasure in my distress.

I squeezed my eyes shut and frantically shook my head in attempt to dismiss the thoughts and images flooding through my brain to no avail.

When I opened my eyes, they disappeared.

Except a figure who stood at the end of my bed.

My knuckles turned white as I tightly curled my hands into fists and my breathing became heavier.

Just then did I register the familiar light wood and musk scent that I wished I did not recognise.

"Nari." His velvety voice sounded alluring and dangerous as he called my name.

My eyes fought their way to his and I shivered at the pair of light blue orbs, which pierced right through my soul like a sharp frozen chunk of ice.

I was vulnerable, just like I always did in his presence.

My words caught in my throat as his lips curled mischievously, before I was finally certain that he was real.

One minute past three,

was when the demon graced my room with his presence.

*****

Luhan was ripped away from my world three years ago and left it in ashes.

The thought that we were inseparable was ridiculous to begin with. When he left to China, I knew it was the end for us.

He was my salvation. My light. My soulmate.

Yet it took him one blink of an eye to leave me, even when he knew I would crumble in his absence.

Perhaps it was all a fake act of chivalry. Perhaps he despised me all along.

October 10th, 2012.

There was complete numbness in my heart and I crashed onto the hardwood floor of my room.

A part of me wanted to scream my lungs out from the indescribable loss, yet only a pathetic whimper managed to escape my lips.

I heard yells and whispers around me but none belonged to him.

Hands were on my arms and I was hoisted up to my feet but they were useless as I found no strength in my body. My knees once again hit the floor.

My other half was gone.

The numbness was replaced by an unbearable pain in my chest and I found myself gasping for air.

All the pain I went through, yet I oddly felt like he was relieved to finally be rid of my grasp.

I chuckled weakly at my own thought as I tightly crumpled the fabric covering my chest, hoping it would ease my pain.

I wished he had known I meant it the literal way when I said I was willing to give up my heart for him. Then he would not have died. I would have.

Either way, we were bound for a separation.

Only one heart meant to end up beating.

If we really were soulmates, we would have found our way back to each other. Even through death.

However, three years went by and I no longer wanted him back.

Without me knowing, my love to him turned into hate. And hate turned into fear.

Perhaps it was all because of the nightmare I repeatedly had following months after he died.

Perhaps I was as awful as he said I was.

Or perhaps it was because I finally realised that he was never the light in my darkness.

He was the darkness itself.

*****

"Don't hold your breath," the familiar figure joked in between his quiet chuckles. He took a few steps until he reached the side of Nari's bed that was closer to her.

The dark brown eyes he once had when he was alive no longer decorated his beautiful face. Nevertheless, his presence still screamed perfection, with the black leather varsity jacket complimenting his silky pale skin and nothing else beneath.

He stripped the girl with his mocking eyes, taking in her every detail. "Three years," he whispered through his lips that curved upwards in amusement. "Have you waited too long, love?"

Nari was as still as a stone.

The man before her looked exactly as he was in her nightmares. It was sickening and terrifying how she remembered him from her dreams a little too clearly.

She gulped in nervousness before she found her voice. "W-What are you doing here...?" She surprised herself by the lack of panic she displayed. However, Luhan was not fooled. He noticed her fear almost immediately, as if she reeked of it.

Luhan let out a mocking laugh as he threw his head back. "You mean why am I not dead yet?" Even with such sarcasm, his face looked as beautiful as ever.

A part of Nari wanted to jump out of her bed and wrapped her arms around the man before her. However, she knew very well that he was dead. She witnessed his dead body in the elegantly carved coffin.

And she struggled to remind herself of how dark he was.

She slowly shook her head. This might be another of her surreal nightmares.

A finger grazed her bare shoulder, sending chills down her spine and she jolted in surprise. Luhan had somehow sat beside her, his body leaning forward to close the distance between them. "This isn't a dream, honey. I am very much real," he said softly in between his smirks.

His scent invaded her as she inhaled sharply. She used to love how he smelled; now she dreaded it.

The chills only became stronger as Luhan slowly traced the outline of her shoulder and down her arm with his slender fingers. "What's wrong? I thought you would be happy to see me."

Nari gulped as she squeezed her eyes shut, refusing to stare into the icy blue orbs that belonged to her once-pronounced soulmate. "You're dead, Luhan." The name felt bitter on her tongue.

The man's soft hum echoed in her room. He placed his fingers below Nari's chin and shifted her head to face him. "Does it matter? I'm here now. Don't you miss me?"

Nari lost the fight when her eyes flew open, realising their proximity.

She missed him too much that she almost forgot what he really was like.

"It matters," she croaked and released herself from his grasp. "If this isn't a nightmare, and you're real, what are you doing here? What are you?" She shifted her body to the other side of her bed to distance herself from him.

Her gut told her something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

Luhan stood up and stepped away from the bed. "I'm here to keep our promise," he answered nonchalantly.

Nari stopped breathing for the next few seconds.

"What- That we'd be together? This is outrageous. Please, Luhan-" she choked in between her words, confused and frustrated of what was going on.

The expression changed in Luhan's face as it now sported displeasure. "Outrageous?" He asked. "Have you forgotten who begged for our relationship to last?" He whispered in a low voice and Nari felt her heart clenched.

She shuddered for the umpteenth time as her fear took her over. "We both know how you turned me into a twisted person; how you whispered those sweet words into making me do horrible things. When you left, I-I realised how much of a devil you really are."

The so-called devil scoffed. "Don't flatter me too much, dear. I wasn't so much a demon as I am now. Besides, I still remember clearly how you broke down upon my leave to China." A smirk graced Luhan's lips as he hit the right spot.

Yes, despite of what he turned her into, she was too attached to him that she barely managed her days with the unendurable thirst.

Luhan crossed his arms on his chest and shifted his weight on one of his legs, standing ever so arrogantly. "You longed for me, even when you knew what I did to you."

Nari's mind screamed for him to stop, yet she was aware that his words were true.

Otherwise, she wouldn't be having all these nightmares these past few years.

*****

Nari and Luhan grew up together. The former was adopted by the latter's family when she was five.

Although apart by three years, they were inseparable that they got used to being called twins.

Nari thought she was living the life, until she turned fifteen and Luhan eighteen. Her dependency on him grew like drugs and he was beginning to reveal his twisted side.

It all began by breaking a few rules, mostly on curfews. The male persuaded the unsuspecting girl to come out with him to random places at night and sneak back home just before dawn. What they did during their escapades, only they know.

His darkness began to grow on her; she started telling lies, which then turned into huge ordeals. It did not even move her when one of her lies almost got an innocent person killed.

She bonded with Luhan's peers, who were as horrible as the man was. They were demons in disguise who lived on other people's misery. Without saying, Nari became one of them.

Everything felt right as long as she was the centre of Luhan's attention. As long as she got to hear the sweet words out of his mouth.

Perhaps Luhan was right; Nari was awful indeed.

One night changed everything.

The girl witnessed Luhan's with an unfamiliar woman on his bed. She was seventeen then.

It was as if the world struck her on the back of her head and left her there to bleed. However, saying she was an innocent girl who would just lay there and die was too farfetched.

She found herself in the arms of Oh Sehun, one of Luhan's messed up peers. She knew well that he was heartless but so was she. She merely wanted to see how her 'brother' would repond to her affair.

Nari felt nothing but numbness as she let the older man's hands roam around her body. If anything, there was only a spark of excitement as she carried out her revenge.

Her corrupted heart made it impossible to feel guilt.

The blood played a hue of crimson and rusty red as they flowed from Nari's palm. Despite of the growing pool beside her, the girl failed to display any sign of fright as her back rested on the wooden floor.

Her eyes were locked on Luhan, who was on top of her and gripping her wrists on her sides. Her blood smeared his hands as he took the glass shard off her hand.

The room was so silent that Nari's pulsating heartbeats became audible.

"You know too well not to go behind my back," the male growled at the girl below him, his eyes showed hostility as they locked into hers and his fingers gripped more tightly around her wrists.

Fear overtook Nari in mere seconds. She dreaded that side of him the most.

The man's features softened as he noticed her trembling hands. "Don't fear me, love." He let out a sigh and softly ran his thumbs on both of the girl's wrists, loosening his grip. "What do you expect me to do? I fight fire with fire. Remember that, honey."

A smirk slowly crept up his lips as he brought the forgotten glass shard into his hand and the empathy left his eyes. "Always remember that before you do anything reckless next time," he hummed before dragging the sharp end along Nari's arm. The younger girl flinched and bit her lower lip to shut herself.

She felt her stomach tightened, sick from the realisation that she fell in love with the devil. And from the realisation that the pain he inflicted left her craving for more.

Perhaps she was a masochist, as he was a sadist. Weren't they perfect for each other?

Luhan leaned in to her ear and she shivered as his breath touched her neck.

"Listen to me carefully, sweetheart," he whispered. "You are mine. You have been so since the first time we met. And we're going to stay together forever, you and I. Don't forget that."

*****

"Don't tell me you don't want this, Nari. I know you love me."

Nari stared down at her trembling fingers, attempting to ignore the devil's taunting voice.

Did she love him as much, now that she spent years recovering from the messed up life he dragged her into? Did she want to return to the darkness she once struggled to leave?

She gripped her hands together tightly and closed her eyes. "That love I once had died with you. So did the promise."

Lies.

Silence filled the musk-scented room when the words escaped Nari's lips.

I can still picture the beautiful pair of brown eyes staring affectionately at me.

The girl felt the ends of her hair on her neck stood.

"You never learn, don't you?"

Nari's eyes snapped open when she felt her body pinned down the bed by force. The devil's blue eyes glimmered in the dark with hostility, burning her heart.

He inched his face closer to her neck and whispered, "I can see through your lies. I always do,".

The air was forced out of the girl's body as she felt teeth sunk into her shoulder. A tear escaped her eye and she struggled to fight back with her whole body but even her stupidity knew it was useless.

Luhan threw his head back and his bloodied lips in satisfaction. "I didn't know you would be this stubborn. What happened to the girl who willingfully offered her heart for me? Figuratively and literally, by the way." He chuckled at his own joke.

Nari's words caught in as she tried to registed what just happened. However, the devil did not give her time for contemplation. "Don't you always dream of me doing this?" He asked, tracing his cold fingers on the outline of her thigh.

The girl let out a small whimper when his fingers caressed her inner thigh and he smirked in victory.

He sat up on top of her, pulling the sleeves of his jacket up to his elbows. "Don't worry, dear. It won't be long. Our promise is sealed for eternity."

Nari returned to her senses and gathered all of her strength to sit up and release herself from the devil. However, it was as if her energy was drained and her voice taken away from her.

The devil clicked his tongue playfully. "I marked you," was all he said but it was enough for the girl to understand. He marked her with his bite and now she was stripped off her free will.

One minute passed by and Nari's vision became blurry. Her body slumped back on her bed and she could only make out the icy blue orbs in front of her.

She felt the devil's figure closing in and her heart died completely when she felt his lips on hers.

They were undeniably soft but the touch itself brought dread all over the hopeless girl. She felt him grin on her lips and tears found their way down her cheeks; she lost.

He pulled back and once again his lips, before whispering an inaudible chant.

With a single snap of his fingers, the girl's eyes turned solid black.

"Welcome home," the devil said with a contented voice.

She was once again his.

A soulmate is someone you want to spend eternity with; someone you'd trade your life for.

They bring you irreplaceable warmth; they bring out your worst nightmares.

A soulmate makes you feel at home.

Like you belong.

Even in the depth of darkness and you bleed under their touch.

Even when they deprive you of air and you suffocate.

A soulmate is an angel and a devil.

I am home.

*****

▼ haengdongie #1: Hello, readers! This is my first Luhan fic (& oneshot ever). I don't know how this turns out so let me know what you think by leaving me comments below!

▼ haengdongie #2: I adopted the 3AM concept from this superstitious idea that demons wander around during that particular hour (you know, as a mockery for the crucifixion).

    © Pictures used in this fic belong to their rightful owners.