Warning: this is only a fanfiction, 
 

7 years of training, 7 years of hell training and it all results to this. Monolids,Kyuhyun’s girl, Dumb Bear, Pringles, Should I be thankful for this? In idol world, popularity is important, whether it’s good for you or not. Being talked about is needed, whether it’s true or not. You need to be remember, be recognized, and be known for something despite you don’t want to. I’m confident that my training would be fruitful, I trained the longest and I’ve endured a lot, and I know that I’m not best out there, but I’m doing my best but it all turns out that years are not important, if you were not given a chance, if you were not wanted, everything you worked hard for is nothing.

I don’t know where it started, but I started resenting people around me, is it jealousy? Envy?

Yeri’s cute and energetic, not adding her in our debut made an impact so it benefited all of us in the end.
She’s getting a lot of hate, but the amount of love, pity and support is bigger.  Should I say I want the attention she have now?I don’t know

Joy’s in a variety show, do I want to do it too? It’s a stable show, boys were swooning for her charms. In all honesty, it’s really good that she’s the one who’s in it. No other member can do it better than her. I really support her, but I wish I have this chance too.

I was really happy being called the little Taeyeon, linking my name to a popular senior, did the wonders.
I know it fits me, of course I know were not on the same level but I’m getting there and someday I know I won’t be the ‘little’ anymore.

Then she came. Someone who can speak English, A kind, hardworking and verytalented person came and all my dreams of being the main vocalist were shattered. I shouldn’t expect it, if anything I was just here to try and before I knew it, it’s been seven years.

The techniques I learned were nothing to be compared with her natural talent. Why is life so unfair? If I have her talent, if I have Wendy’s voice. Would I wait this long to debut?

I never wanted to be a leader, nor do I think I have ability to lead. Though deep inside, I feel a bit of superiority with the members since as trainees I am their senior. I wouldn’t say I am the cause of what they are right now, but I could say I’m a part of it right? As trainees I did help them, without asking for anything in return, it’s a simple gesture but it count’s something for me.

Krystal and Sulli debuted and I’m happy. I don’t feel any resent, I wish them all the best and I support them wholly. I honestly don’t feel left out the years came by and I’m still waiting and there’s BaeJoohyun. She’s what everyone talks about, popular among trainees, she even manage to have fans despite being new.

Appearance wise, I know I’m not the prettiest, Irene’s existence proves that. I’ve always that when we debuted together she’s most likely going to be the leader and the visual. It never bothered me. It was expected. Her rapping was the cutest thing I have seen.

I love dancing as much as singing. But with the people around me, I won’t go anywhere if I stick on the middle and balance everything. I have to be good at something, then we debuted and Wendy’s praised for her voice, Joy was well like, Yeri’s getting a lot of attention and Irene seems to have everything. Being a leader, her rapping, her beauty and even her dancing. If she have everything what am I still doing here? I could be removed from the group and it wouldn’t even matter.

“Seulgi-unnie?” I was still in a dazed when I saw hands waving in my face. It’s the tall kid. I swear she wasn’t that tall when I first saw her.

“Helloooo? Come back to earth bear-unnie? I finally snap, she must have been giving names when I wasn’t listening to her. “What?!” It came out stronger that I intended but it seems to do not have an effect since the fake maknae was still grinning at my face.

“Seriously, what?” I asked again, I grimaced, her stance and facial expression tells me she want something from me.

“Teach me again the step, unnie, please?”  I knew it, of top of that, she was doing an aegyo, the type where you have to succumbto her request or you’ll hate yourself forever if you dare to ignore her.

I sighed, we just went home for Chuseok and yet she already forgot a step that we learned from months.
“Fine, which part?” I resigned, there’s no point on arguing if she needs help.

Morning came faster and I’m sore for all the dance that we did last night, she didn’t even forgot a step. Joy only wants to have someone to practice with.

I decided to get up on bed, I need to do some exercise if I want to keep my body fit and staying on bed won’t make the aching on my body fade away.

“Yeri?” I called out wearily, she’s half lying on the kitchen table, not moving. I’m a bit careful in case she’s planning to prank me in an early morning. “Yeri, what’s wrong?” I walked closer, I might regret this later but I have to be sure.

“Unnie, I’m hungry, feed me please?” I sighed. I’m a bad cook and she knows it. But she have an early schedule today and Joy still sleeping, most likely tired too. I have no choice but try to find something I can give her.

“I’ll cook you ramen but if you got poisoned don’t sue me okay?” I said as I walked away, but before I could move, the kid pounced on my back.

“Thank you unnie! You’re the best!”

“Seulgi, which one do you think is the best, the red one or the black one?” Wendy said as she points out the shirts. “I don’t know, I’m the fashion terrorist remember?” I heard her groan, then mumbles or should I say speak something on English, “Come on Seul!, I already apologized for that so many times and I’ve cleared that in Sunny-sunbaemin’s radio show!” She wailed and I can’t help to think it’s cute. It honestly doesn’t bother me but teasing her like this was the best.

“Well apparently, the fans already think that way so the damage has been done, I can’t believe I even said I wanted you if I were a boy” I pretend to sulk, which obviously works since the look on Wendy’s face was incomprehensible.

“Seul, forgive me already!, I know I’ll bake you something or I’ll cook for you! Or we could do a revenge on Joohyun-unnie, come on seulgi-ah, partners for life remember? You can’t hate me forever” I snort a laugh, she can really be funny at times and I have to stop teasing her before she spout more dramatic lines.

“Okay, drama queen, stop it. I forgive you okay” I said in between laughs and we began laughing together.
 

It was the third time I slipped in the dorms hallway, Apparently Wendy decided to sweep the floor until she can’t see any dirt. Irene just sent me a message that she’s coming home and I warned her about the floor but she does not believe me saying that it wasn’t that smooth and its impossible.

I tried to reason that it’s Wendy, and she made everything possible but it’s still not enough to convince her so I was pacing around waiting for her to come.

Finally, the door opens and I saw Irene with bags full of groceries. “Oh, did you do something bad?” She said. I did not understand what she meant so I just looked at her.

“You’re right here, waiting for me on the doorstep, are you going to help me with these bags or not?” I still did not understand what she meant so I just decided to do the latter’s wishes.

“Did you put something on the floor, is that why you texted me about it?” Irene was already in front of me, when I remember what I was supposed to do.

“Irene, don’t mov- Fruits and vegetables burst out, packs of ramen, soaps and shampoos everywhere.
Before I could say the words I told you so, I saw Irene grinning at me like an idiot, while both of  us were helplessly lying on the floor, she’s on top of me and around us where the groceries. Why is she like that when I’m in pain?

“You worries about useless stuff, then in the end, you were actually right and were the ones who only thinks its useless. Atleast you’re always there for us. Please don’t get tired on catching me”