you were waiting at the front gate with haeun for hanbin after your class has ended. you look at your watch again and heaved a big sigh. "yah did this kid sleep in class again and didnt know that class has ended long ago" you asked in sarcasm to haeun. she giggled and rolls her eyes. both of you waited till you saw a tall figure running towards your direction. he was about to say something when haeun puts a finger on his lips. "save it hanbin, we know you slept in class". his cheeks turns a tinge of redness as he rubbed his neck shyly.

the three of you has been friends since childhood. you and hanbin knew each other longer than haeun due to parents being business partners. till then, both of you becomes close to haeun in middle school. however, its not a typical friendship between the three of you. it was a complicated one. you fell for hanbin the first time you met him. who doesnt? he's smart, kind-hearted and goodlooking. moreover, his smile can melt the entire female population in the world. you were lucky to not only met him, but to be close to him.

now, how is it complicated? your first love fell for another girl which is not you. a girl that is much more beautiful than you and she was a better one and you know you were never enough for him, you were never his type. that girl was close to you and she was Kim Haeun. you know it based by his behaviour towards him. he treats her like a gentleman, a lost puppy and an admirer. he didnt confess but it was an obvious behaviour as the people around you too assume it. Haeun knows that you like hanbin and she has been wanting you to confess to him. why would you want to confess? he's in love with your other bestfriend. you dont want to interfere with his puppy love. you dont want to destroy it and make him hate you. you want to let it be a one-sided love eventhough it hurts you badly.

you were doing your homework when your phone rang. "~~~~? so whats your decision?" your dad asked. you became panic. "d-dad, i dont think im following you. i want to stay here. i can be independent, dad" you murmured. your dad sighed. "are you sure? if youre here, i can take care of you but if thats your decision then so be it" you replied with a 'hmm' and hang up. you look at the family portrait at your desk and sigh. "should i follow dad, mum? but i dont want to leave him. i want to see him everyday eventhough he doesnt love me. what should i do, mum?" you whispered as if your mother can hear you. your mother left both your father and you since you were 10. unfortunately, your dad has to move to another country due to work and has to leave you alone last year. he's back calling you since he promised that he will take you back with him once youre graduating this year.

the three of you are strolling along the pathway at a park while eating ice-cream, laughing at the silly jokes hanbin made. suddenly, a guy bumped onto haeun making her fall with her icecream. "haeun-ah!" hanbin exclaimed. he shoved his ice-cream to your hand and examine haeun to see if she is hurt. "haeun-ah, are you fine? did you hurt anywhere?" he asked with a worried tone. she giggled and gets up. "im fine hanbin, see?" she jumps around and does a bbuing bbuing. he scoffs and shakes his head, shyly smiling in the process.

you have to admit that the way he attend to haeun kind of hurt your feelings. the way he check for wounds, his eyes in a worried manner like a prince not wanting his princess to get hurt over anything. you stared at him and sigh. not wanting to disturb the lovely moment, you spoke up. "urm guys. i think im going home. i dont feel good, my head is spinning since just now. see yall soon" you gave his ice-cream and walks away.

**so this is how someone who experienced one-sided love feels huh. it hurts so much seeing the person you love showering another girl the love that you wanted and you will never get it** you thought.

you were about to go to sleep when your phone vibrate. you look at the screen and your eyes turned big when he texted you.

hanbin ❤ : ~~~~? how are you feeling now? if youre not getting better, go and take some medicines and rest early. sleep early today or else you'll get it from me!!!!

you grin at his text, imagining him talking to you that way. you replied and slept, hoping to have a dream of him.

exams has finally ended and you've graduated. the three of you has planned to go to the beach to relax your mind. however, you told them that youre going to be a bit late due to awaited chores that youre supposed to do. you were finding the two figured out of the crowd since it was a weekend. you saw them and was about to run when you stopped on your tracks.

there they were, your first love finally trying to confess to his crush. his lips getting closer and closer to her. one of his hand of her cheek. his face tilting to get a better angle to kiss her lips. you cant afford to see the view that would haunt you. you know your heart cant take it anymore. you dont want to be here. you dont want to believe that its happening sooner than you expected. you took a step backwards and run away, away from the scene, from everyone. you just want to go back to your house quickly and isolate yourself.

finally, you made a decision. you stare at the ticket you just bought and search for your phone in your jeans. "dad ? i'll meet you soon, wait for me" you whispered with tears starting to roll down your cheeks.

luck is on your side that day as haeun didnt come to school. you stood up properly when you saw his figure walking towards you. he gave a smile and walks ahead of you. "h-hanbin?" you asked. he stopped and turn around, giving you a confused look. you look at him nervously and bites your lip. "c-can we hangout for awhile? just the two of us?" you requested. he goes to you and ruffles your hair. he picks a movie to watch and sits beside you. "why are you being so weird today? i mean... us hanging out together out of sudden" he pinches your cheeks teasingly.

you clear your throat and scratch your head, thinking on how to answer his question without being suspicious. "cant i hangout with my bestfriend? must i have a reason? its just that its been a long time since we hangout with just the two of us" you smiled sweetly.

**because there wont be hangouts with just the two of us after this day hanbin-ah. we're never gonna see each other again, youre gonna forget about me and im gonna do the same thing too. im going to move on. im sorry, hanbin-ah** you thought to yourself sadly while trying to enjoy the last moment with him.

haeun looks at hanbin eating his meal. "hanbin-ah? do you not know anything?" she asked curiously. the male stopped eating and look at her, waiting for her to continue. "~~~~..... she's leaving to move to another country with her father. she's going to stay there forever and never come back" she look away, trying not to cry infront of him. he dropped his utensils and grips her hand tightly. "when? why didnt she tell me?!" he asked desperately. "today.... she's probably on her way to the airport now-" she stopped her sentence when she observe hanbin getting up and running off, perhaps to the airport.

today is the day youre going to leave everything behind. its time to create a new chapter of your life without him and haeun. you were walking absent-mindedly when someone grabs your arm and turns you around. you are about to tell the person off but was surprised to see who it is. your eyes turned big and your heart starts to beat faster.

he look into your eyes trailing down to your features. "why didnt you tell me youre leaving? why must i get to know it from haeun?" he whispered, feeling upset. you look away and sigh. "it doesnt matter cause i'll be back--"

"dont lie to me" he cut you off. "i heard from haeun that you'll never be back. you're going to start a new life there with your father. youre going to leave me and haeun alone" he said.

"why does it matter anyway? you'll still be happy even when im gone. screw it, it doesnt matter if im here or leaving cause you're always happy by her side" you look away, not wanting him to see that youre about to cry. he frown, not understanding what you were saying just now. "what do you mean by that? youre my bestfriend of course youre one of my happiness isnt it? you make me happy with your presence, ~~~~ah" he frown, gripping your arms tightly.

"no you dont understand. yes, you may be happy. but im not. i tried to be happy for you, letting you go but why am i the only one hurting?" your tears starts to roll down your cheeks uncontrollably. "i dont get what youre saying ~~~~. youre confusing me-"

"im in love with you hanbin. i fell for you. i was into you since the first time i met you. i was in love with you all the time while youre into haeun" you confessed. he lets go of you and ruffles his hair. he was in disbelief. he was surprised. he doesnt know that his bestfriend is in love with him the whole time. "~~~~, im sorry i didnt know about it. i didnt expect it to be this way" he said feeling guilty.

suddenly, you heard an announcement saying that youre supposed to be going off to the waiting room right now. you smiled at him and put your hand on his cheek. "its okay, its my fault. you dont have to be sorry. i'll move on. but promise me, go chase haeun. she's the perfect girl for you. im sure she's your type arent she? treat her properly like a princess and dont hurt her or else i'll kick your " you laughed, trying to make the situation less serious.

"im going now. goodbye, my first love. take care and i love you" you gave a peck on his cheeks and grab your luggage, walking away so that you can leave sooner. you dont want to change your decision. you have to move on. you turned back and waved at him with a smile.

they said,

never get too attached to anyone unless they feel the same,

because one-sided expectations can mentally destroy you from now onwards,

youre going to create your own new chapter and move on. first love does leave their bits and pieces, but you gotta sweep them off so that you can start a new one. its a hard process, but life goes on.