May 4th, 2015

It's past 1 a.m. when Yixing enters the dorm, exhausted from hours of practice at the company's building. He's limping slightly, probably from stretching a ligament in his ankle, and honestly he would've probably continued practising if it wasn't for this, because he badly needs to catch up.

It's not like anyone told him that, they didn't need to, but Yixing just knows. Spending so much time in China is an opportunity that he enjoys, but that inevitably causes him to fall behind the others in terms of choreographies. He can't have that happening, not when everyone is working so hard.

He puts his backpack aside as soon as he closes the door behind him and takes his shoes off, careful not to make unnecessary noise at this time of the night.

"You're home late," a voice coming from the living room to his right speaks.

Yixing quickly lifts his head to see Junmyeon sitting on the sofa, book in hand, looking tired. Next to him is a table lamp that gives the room subdued lighting. Yixing takes in a sharp breath to try to slow down his heart rate, which had picked up from not expecting to hear any sound, let alone a voice, so late at night. "Junmyeon? What are you doing here?"

The Korean offers a discreet smile at the sight of Yixing's shock and shrugs. "I don't know, I didn't feel like sleeping," he says, the explanation an interesting contrast to the bags under his eyes. Junmyeon continues: "I heard from Sehun that you went straight to practice after leaving the airport."

It's more of a statement than a question, yet Yixing feels like a simple confirmation won't do. He sighs. "Yeah, I wanted to like, evaluate how much I'd forgotten and try to catch up," he justifies, taking the few necessary steps to reach the living room.

"You know," Junmyeon puts his book down and shifts his position on the couch, "You could've waited until tomorrow," he remarks, tone disapproving.

Yixing chuckles, not out of disrespect for Junmyeon's observation, but rather out of pure bashfulness. He can't say he hadn't expected that comment. Junmyeon surely isn't the first one to make it, but Yixing just can't help his stubbornness, and clearly doesn't mean to make people around him worry. "You know me, when I have something in mind..."

"Right," Junmyeon mutters, almost absent-mindedly, and judging from the zoned-out expression that follows, he's contemplating on what he wants to say next. Or whether or not he should say it. A short moment passes, and he pats the seat next to him, beckoning Yixing to sit down as well. "Well... There's actually something I wanted to talk to you about when you'd be back," he starts, unsure.

Yixing's curiosity picks up. He joins him on the sofa and angles his upper body so that he's facing the other, expression neutral, undetectable. "Is this about Tao again?"

Junmyeon, who's visibly surprised at his friend's straight-forwardness, figures there's no point in trying to mask what he's been meaning to say. He remains silent for a few seconds before speaking up: "Kind of? I just- I know you really haven't had it easy recently," he confides, slightly worried about Yixing's still impenetrable reaction.

A moment passes before something seems to snap inside the latter's mind, and he finally nods. "Yeah, I mean I won't deny it. But we've been through this over the phone. I'm okay, I'm gonna be okay, I can take it," he tries to reassure, making sure to look Junmyeon right in the eye now that he can, now that he's not hundreds of kilometers away . He doesn't exactly feel like talking about this again, but he can't deny Junmyeon that discussion, seeing as the leader seems to need it.

Junmyeon nods in turn, but doesn't appear entirely convinced. "It's just so frustrating, what they say... It's not fair on you," he starts, before admitting, not without difficulty, "and I guess I'm... scared." Junmyeon looks down at his lap then, hesitant to meet Yixing's eyes. He was unsure whether he should use that word, 'scared'. But he's said it, and there's no going back now.

"Scared of what?" Yixing inquires, biting his lower lip and looking a bit somber. He has a very good idea of what Junmyeon is going to say, but he wants to hear it anyway.

Only then does Junmyeon decide to look up, all the while running a nervous hand in his hair. He needs to say this. "I know you don't like us bringing it up, but I just...," he pauses and takes a deep breath, gathering enough self-control to stop himself from getting too emotional about this. "It's been hard. And I really don't know what we'd do if one day you decided you've also had enough and wanted to try to make it on your own. I don't know what I'd do," the leader confides, so earnest that he has to bring a finger under his eye to keep newly formed tears from falling out.

Yixing softens at that, closing his eyes briefly to try to compose himself as well. Despite this being a tough topic to address, it's very hard not to feel moved by such sincerity, especially when it comes from someone you deeply care about. Junmyeon is completely wrong in his doubts, but somehow Yixing understands. "But Junmyeon, I told you time and time again that I wouldn't do that," he asserts with conviction, "I wouldn't have written that song if I didn't mean every single word. You know how important promises are to me," Yixing concludes, moving a bit closer on the couch and placing a hand on Junmyeon's knee. The movement is meant to be reassuring.

The edges of the leader's lips turn up just enough to somewhat dissipate the prior tension. Yixing has a fair point. "Yeah, I know," Junmyeon agrees, gaze genuine. "To be honest, I've never met anyone as loyal as you."

That compliment, or at least what Yixing considers to be a huge compliment, immediately has him raising an eyebrow. "Okay, then what's the problem?"

Junmyeon's answer doesn't come instantly. Coming up with the right words to translate his thoughts happens to be an arduous task. He knows that Yixing is loyal, there is absolutely no question about that, but Junmyeon's reflection goes further than that.

In the end, he opts for the most honest explanation he can gather. "It's confusing, I guess at the same time I'm worried about what you're willing to endure to keep your promise," he admits reluctantly, voice soft, barely audible. "What if... you don't like doing this anymore? What if the negative stuff gets too much?" he looks at Yixing expectantly then, knowing full well that his bandmate must have contemplated similar possibilities before. His eyes are starting to get teary again, but he continues: "I mean, it's pretty obvious that things aren't the same anymore. The dynamic is different. We probably all had something else in mind when we envisioned the group's future." At this point, Junmyeon looks resigned, but not fatalistic.

"Well yeah," Yixing concedes easily, shrugging despite the apparent sorrow in his eyes. He's had his heart broken a few times in the last year, and he's not about to deny that, especially not in front of someone who's gone through similar emotions. But if they can use that shared experience to support each other and somehow strengthen their bond, then he figures that the situation won't have been entirely negative. "But things happen, and if we believe in this, in the group and in our dreams, then all we can do is adapt and move forward," Yixing concludes, hopeful. That response almost sounds rehearsed, and Yixing knows it, but he means every word.

"You make it sound so simple..." 

Yixing clarifies, voice firm: "I'm not saying it'll always be easy, but in my case, what you need to understand is that proving people wrong, keeping my promises, to fans and to you guys, is specifically what makes me feel content. More than anything. And I really don't see that changing anytime soon," he assures, looking straight into Junmyeon's eyes to get his message across. Without thinking, he follows the promise by a comforting hand on the other's shoulder. "So, for the last time, please trust me."

Junmyeon doesn't need to think twice before he confirms: "I do." And he really does. The truth is that he's always trusted him, but sometimes the unexpected happens and makes you revaluate everything you thought to be true. You can't escape it, but what you can do is to go and get that much needed reassurance. 

He understands Yixing better now. What the latter just explained is highly coherent with the way he's always been, and Junmyeon just knows he can trust him completely.

He smiles, much more effortlessly now.

"Good, 'cause I'm not going anywhere," Yixing smiles back and adds: "Except to China, sometimes." He laughs, dimple showing. Junmyeon has missed that sight.

"Now come 'ere," Yixing demands, leaning forward and wrapping his arms around the other's neck, ignoring their somewhat awkward side-to-side position. Junmyeon naturally welcomes the hug and tightens his own grip, face pressed into his friend's shoulder, enjoying the comfort that Yixing's secure and appeasing presence brings him.

In that moment, he knows they'll be all right.