here's the day we hoped would never come dont feed me violins just run with me through rows of speeding cars.

He never said a lot to me. Never looked my way for more than a calculated handful of moments. I could always see the hardships of the day resting on his shoulders. But it was the weight of the months, rolling into years, crushing him beneath responsibilities too great for anyone, that made me worry. Some days I wished to take him by the hand and pull him away. Pull him up and out of the spotlight. Say, "it's okay." And have it be so. To tell him, "lean on me, I can take it. We can do this." But then I see that look in his eyes again as he looks away that says, "Not today." Because in reality, I know nothing I can say will change a damn thing. But I like to think the warm of my palm as I sneak my fingers between his bring him some peace.

now now baby its just textbook stuff its in the abcs of growing up

They keep telling me that this is the price of being an idol. that its normal to feel this. but the hatred in my veins cant be okay. Especially when it makes me mad at him. We are drifting apart I can feel it. They would have me believe that this too, is part of growing up. "just a phase" they called it. You'll grow out of it. But I don't want to grow out of it. Some days it is the only pure thing I have left. I wish there was some sort of manual for this , I don't know how I'm going to make it.

I've watched you slowly winding down for years we cant keep on like this now's a bad a time as any

We end up on the roof together. Somehow we found a way into each others arms despite the military-like walls we put around ourselves. His breath on my neck feels sinful, but the way his hold sooths my soul makes me believe he is an angel. I always knew he would be my Saviour. I know that this moment is a trick of the light and that as soon as its no longer 4 am and the sun begins to rise we will lose sight of on another. But god am I addicted. Just one taste was all I needed. If temptation was strong then this is stronger, the lure of him can no longer be contained by thoughts of fame. No longer, at least in this one, candid moment do I care about the reason why people know my name.

~A/N~ so this is v short. the underlined parts are lyrics from the song Speeding cars by imogen heap. i think I wrote each little paragraph to go with the lines. It was a while ago that i wrote this. anyways i hope it doesn't';t <3