(A/N) This is a prequel/sequel to Amnesia, as I promised. But I think it is not necessary to read Amnesia first.

And I do not know if you noticed it or not, but all Sonder stories are in the same world, the difference is just the time period. Because like the concept I’ve made to this oneshot collection, is that even though one member is just a cameo to other member’s story, he still have an interesting story to tell on his own, because everyone has a story, right? ;)

(I also have spoilers after this chapter end, so don’t forget to check it out)

this chapter is especially dedicated for Amnesia readers, and also people who commented last chapter; lkimxxx , namtae0ppa, mandapanda123, anitaklr24 and seto_mizer 

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It was spring again, and he likes it.

Kim Myungsoo thought the light pink shades of the cherry blossoms that covered the entire city of Seoul, is indeed very breathtaking. The trees suddenly became a hundred percent more pleasant to see than the usual, and the streets are also coated with pink. He always thinks that spring has made everything around him blooms just like the trees and the flowers. And maybe as a photographer, it became his favorite object to photograph, for only awhile though.

He was sitting at the empty office that afternoon, as he could saw how pretty the sky was actually that day. It was a little bit cloudy; he just hopes it wouldn’t rain. He was flipping through the photo set of his latest photo-shoot session, picking the best one to show to his client, when he caught a glance at the amber envelope once again before his lips formed a slight smile.

Myungsoo thought about those nights again, he wasn’t really sure which one particularly though. If he could list all the nights that changed his life, well, it could still be countable though, and the list won’t be that long but he thought maybe his life had something to do with nighttime. Life full with what ifs, and just right then Myungsoo tired to think about all the what if that could actually happened to him.

The first night he could think about was the night he agreed to tutor his stalker. He remembered how she started to cry at the cafeteria of his high school just so that he would teach her for the upcoming Japanese exam. He should’ve been suspicious at her when she also begged him to let her study at his apartment, the one he shared with his girlfriend at that time, but he didn’t. He fell into the trap and became girlfriend-less the next day. Every damn time he thought about that event, he could only think about how stupid he was back then.

If only he was man enough to say no. He probably still is with his girlfriend until then or better; he didn’t have to go through all those amnesia-bulls for about five years. His friends won’t be giving him cold shoulder after knowing that incident. He’ll live happily ever after, probably with a couple of kids, or cats, he really doesn’t know but he was sure it would be better than the life he has lived. If only he said no.

The second night that came across his mind, was that night he took a decision to drive carelessly in the highway and crashed. He lost all his memories that night. He made everyone worried about his being, whether he’ll make it or not. He was alive though, just with no shades of memory left on his head. He didn’t know any single thing about his life. If only he wasn’t so desperate, maybe he’ll moved on with life, rather than forgetting everything about it.

Maybe somehow he’ll become a better person, rather than becoming a whole new person he wasn’t sure about himself. And maybe, Sungyeol, his best friend, didn’t have to suffer because he missed the last opportunity to see his first love before she left, just because Sungyeol chose to help him first. But it happened, the accident happened, his amnesia happened. If only he wasn’t trying to kill himself.

The next night was actually not about him taking a stupid decision; he was actually satisfied with his decision that night. It was at the dawn though, when he went frantic in front of Park Saerin’s apartment. When he yelled about what a liar she was. When he saw her unchanging expression when he told her that he was his ex-boyfriend and she has no decency to tell him the truth. And when he saw her a little startled when he showed her a letter he wrote before at their one-year anniversary and that he found it at their old apartment. If only he didn’t go mad at 3 in the morning, he probably still living inside those endless guilt and that he’ll move on with a heavy weight on his back, he won’t be able to live his life to the fullest. If only he wasn’t insane enough.

Or maybe the night he was actually thinking about was the night he took all his courage to ask Park Saerin to be his girlfriend again, the night after seven months they agreed to spend their life far away from each other. Seven months after he told her the real reason why he cheated. Approximately eight months after they met again for the first time after five years, after she left for the States after she found him on the bed with the other woman, and yet he couldn’t remember who she was at that time. He was pretty sure he would get rejected right away, but there is no reason not to try at that point. Maybe if he didn’t ask her that night, he won’t ask her any time. And he would still be girlfriend-less until now and live his life with a damned regret. If only he wasn’t brave enough.

“Are my office that boring?”. A voice distracted him from his daydream. “Yeah, it has no you in it,” He said as he gave her his infamous kitty smile. “Shut up,” She chuckled in return. “How’s Jeju?” She continued as she placed herself on her black work chair. “Very beautiful as always, very relaxing, and I got what you want for the next issue,” He smiled a little as he walked into her side and put the photo set on her table. “How’s the intern’s training going?” He said as he brushed her hair with his hand. “Great but I’m just so tired,” She muttered as she buried her face on his arm. “I understand, pretty, I know the deathly deadline is indeed deadly, Park,” Myungsoo chuckled as he kissed the crown of her head.

“Are you going home now?” She said. “Do you want me to go home?” He raised his brow. “Well you should go home since you just landed but, no,” She shook her head. “Ah, you miss me that much,” He ruffled her hair playfully. “No, I haven’t really cleaned our apartment since the cleaning lady was sick, okay,” She frowned. “Fine, I’ll clean it but you are buying me lunch for the rest of the month,” He grinned. “It’s the end of the month,” She said. “I mean until next month,” He snorted.

“I’m not the one with a restaurant and a company,” She taunted. “Hey, I’m also not the one who is an editor in chief of the most prestigious magazine in the town,” He shrugged. “Life is unfair, woman, you got to deal with it,” He said as he patted her back. “Fine, if I saw even only one stain of dust, this deal is off, Myungsoo,” She replied. “Okay, I’ll take it,” He offered his hand which she took gladly but he just thought his girlfriend was beyond adorable when she was pissed so he pulled her hand and gave her a light peck.

“You are too cute, Park,” Myungsoo chuckled. “No, I’m not cute, I’m a very elegant lady who has a full control of the whole editorial department, I just happened to have an as a boyfriend,” She groaned before she broke into a smile. “And that’s why you should prepare to buy me food for next month, darling, now, off I go, I have a whole apartment to be cleaned, bye-bye,” Myungsoo said as he kissed her forehead one last time before he got out from the room.

There are more nights that Myungsoo actually forgot to list before. Like the night when he asked Park Saerin to move in with him and rather than moving in, they both agreed to buy one bigger apartment for both of them to live. Or that night when his parent’s restaurant franchise finally opened in Seoul under his name. Or the night he started receiving amber envelope. But there were indeed more nights that matter, like that one night on his last year of college and on his third year of amnesia.

---

Myungsoo suffered amnesia,

And he hates every day of it. Especially when he met people he felt like he never know before, asking him whether he remember them or not. And then Myungsoo would just smile bitterly and shook his head then politely apologizing. He wonders though, it’s not really his fault that he forgets, or it is? He hates every hour of it. Especially when he couldn’t remember anything at all, what he was like, what he loves and what he hates, what he would want to do in the future before, why does his parents live aboard, why did he choose to live alone, when did he start befriending with his friends, who he hates or who he loves.

He hates every minute of it. He read it online that people who suffered amnesia will eventually regain their memory piece by piece, one step at the time, he knows that it won’t be easy and he just have to worked so hard to regain those missing pictures, but every time he tried too hard, he ended up in a hospital bed. He hates every second of it. He started by blaming everyone else, but lately he was blaming himself more. He must’ve done some deep mistake that the nature decided to wipe all of his memories and the part he despises the most is that he can’t remember anything about it.

“I am not letting you to go to Japan, Kim Myungsoo, you hear my word, you little brat, I am not going to let you near anywhere the damned plane that will take you to Japan,” Sungyeol gritted his teeth. “My parents are in Japan, Yeol, their company is in Japan, maybe my future is in Japan,” Myungsoo sighed. “Do you even hear yourself, goodness,” Sungyeol threw his hands on the air, sighing frustratedly. “Do you remember why the hell you refused to move to Japan and chose to live alone in here?” Sungyeol continued. “Wow, Sungyeol, as an intern doctor or better, the nation future doctor, you should know that having amnesia means you remember nothing at all,” Myungsoo replied sarcastically. 

Even after years living in a blur, Myungsoo was still annoyed. He was still wondering when would his memories come back – which never happen since past three years – and he was just so done trying. And then, he was just focusing on how to live rather like a normal person, like a person who doesn’t have his childhood and teenage life wiped out from their brain. “By the way are you having the time of the month? Why do you look like a , Yeol?” Myungsoo raised his brow. “Excuse me, I had to attend a surgery that lasted for like eternity last night and it was awful, I thought I’m going to die,” Sungyeol groaned. “I don’t even want to know how did you graduate from medical school with that kind of spirit,” Myungsoo replied nonchalantly. “At least I know what to do once I graduated,” Sungyeol glared at Myungsoo’s direction.

“I’ve told you, I am going to Japan, ,” Myungsoo glared back. “For goddesses’ sake, I am older than you, Kim Myungsoo and no, you are not going to Japan because you are going to be an intern at Woohyun’s company,” Sungyeol replied. “Since when Woohyun hyung’ company have an intern program?” Myungsoo raised his brow. “Woohyun is the freaking creative director, gosh, I’m still unable to believe that he actually got that position, he probably use some sorcery and he’ll maybe suggest you to use it too, I don’t know, whatever,” Sungyeol rolled his eyes. “But, I’m sure he could make some program, alright,” Sungyeol continued. “You know it’s kind of cheating and unfair, right?” Myungsoo raised his brow. “That’s called having a link and life is unfair anyway, brother, you got to bear with that,” Sungyeol shrugged.

“I don’t know, I feel like the only option I have right now is still to continue my parent’s restaurant chain, even though, yes, I don’t like that idea at all,” Myungsoo sighed. “I am not letting you wasting your time, trying to graduate the design major when after that you are just going to do something you hate, okay,” Sungyeol said sternly. “So if Woohyun can’t make that program – which I’m very sure he can – you are going to find a damn designing job, why are you being such a desperate human being,” Sungyeol continued.

“Yeol, what do you think I’ll do before I got amnesia?” Myungsoo suddenly asked. “I think that Myungsoo would be anything but the Myungsoo right now,” Sungyeol answered stoically. “I’m being serious,” Myungsoo said. “Well, I’m pretty damn sure I’ve told you already that he’ll probably won’t be this confuse or he probably had asked Woohyun to gave him a damn job, meanwhile you are feeling guilty about asking Woohyun to be an intern. That’s not how this life works, Myungsoo,” Sungyeol ranted. “It’s getting unhealthy,” Sungyeol sighed.

“Look, I care about you, Myungsoo, I don’t want to see my best friend become some bum. So, stop acting like your life is that tough, Myungsoo, just because you suffered amnesia,” Sungyeol continue to rant. “Don’t deny that,” Sungyeol snapped when Myungsoo was about to open his mouth. “I’ve been working my too until I get my doctor license. So I want you to stop acting like a damsel in distress who gave up his passion like it was a trash just because you got rejected by one damned company. Since when you gave up this easily, anyway? And lastly,”

“Stop blaming your amnesia,”

---

Myungsoo was shifting the amber envelope on his hand as he sat on the park’ bench, alone, while the other students were preparing to lit up the lantern. “Myungsoo sunbae-nim,”. He looked up and found his junior shifting his shirt nervously. “They asked me to tell you to lit the first lantern, it was originally your project after all,” The junior said. “Let the other do it,” Myungsoo replied. “Or better, let my partner do it,” Myungsoo added. “That’s the problem, sunbae-nim, she told us to let you do it,”. Myungsoo just sighed heavily before he said, “Don’t worry, I’ll make her do it,”.

That was one thing about his project two years ago, the professor seems to like the idea of lantern with 3D design so much that he made the others made it – made what suppose to be his one time project. He got A+ for the subject so he can’t really complain though, and now he was invited to the event where the students lit up their lantern after being graded – they said before he graduated and got busy eventually.

“Weeping?”. A voice suddenly disturbed him and his deep thought. “No, shut up, Kwon Sunhee,” He glared to the person he knew too well. “I’ve heard that you have been very depressed lately, I thought you figured out what you are going to do for the final project,” She replied. “It’s not about the final project, it was about what am I going to do after the final project,” He sighed.

“Graduate, get a job, start a life, maybe?” She shrugged. “It’s just one company,