Did she make a mistake?
She usually just goes with the flow, let the wind bring her to wherever but that one moment when she finally decided to navigate the sail, everything collapses.
There are days when she doubts her decision, if they parted like how they planned, will it hurt less? Would it not bring everyone the same pain they are in?
She doubts everything and finds herself in dilemma.
Was it wrong to finally realize what her dream really is?
Was it a crime to follow her heart's desire?

Taeyeon thinks they could have handled it better.
Yes, everything was in place, just a little over the year if they... if she could have waited.
There are times when she finds herself hover over the what ifs but she shakes her head when it gets too deep.
When it hits memories that are so precious, she feels annoyed not because they are now tainted but because she misses it, she misses her.
Taeyeon wouldn't admit it but there are times when she holds her key car and asking herself, if its fine to drive to her just so she can ask if she's really doing well.
Taeyeon cared, cares and will care.
And Taeyeon resents how she never really showed it and now it seems too late.

She's her friend from the very start and Hyoyeon knows and believes that she'll be until they reach the finish line.
And this is not a the end. It was just another start.
They all knew it was coming, they prepared, it just that it happened earlier than expected.
It happened all too fast that Hyoyeon was unable to cope up.
She desperately wanted to clean the mess but instead she finds herself in the practice room, dancing to whatever song is playing. 
She danced until her tears meets her sweats.
She broke down and promises it would be the last.
She brings it upon herself to be the strong one for her and for other 7 girls.
They say Hyoyeon took it so well but they never really ask her, truly ask her.

Soulmate.
Tiffany prefers to cry on her own when no one is watching, when the four corners of her room are only those who can hear her.
But this was an exception, she cried, sobbed and bawled.
She let her guard down, it was heavy for her, and they watch her cry as she let them crash the floor. No one could calm Tiffany, no words can make her stop and they let her be. Let her cope on her own way.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Tiffany lost count on how many time she promised herself that it would be the last time. But then one day she stopped crying.
She stopped not because she's angry or mad at her but because she knows she's being selfish.
You don't cage the people you love, you set them free, let them fly and watch them sour.
So she does.
She's hurting, they both are.
But she let's go and promises that no matter what she'll be ther for her.

Sunny bites her lips.
She didn't want to talk about her but she did anyway. People would decipher ehatever she is saying and it will all end up to her.
She didn't want to talk about her, she wanted to protect her but at the same time there are many words left to say.
She misses like all the other girls did, maybe more and maybe not, but still she misses her friend.
So she say it all out.
If she's tired, Sunny hopes she remembers that there are 8 pairs of arms ready for her to shelter on.

She seems mature but she's still a little girl for them, to her.
Juhyun cried, alone, with everyone and for the whole world to see.
Its because she was sad.
Something clawed her heart and she can't find the right words to heal it.
But her maturity takes the best out of her. She understands that she needed to go.
Because when you set your eyes out on a dream for you longed for, you do whatever it takes to have it.
Juhyun cried because she wants to be part of it.
Wants to watch her have it all, she wants to be by her side, but because of all the mess, she can't.
She cried and then smiled.
And wishes her all the best and wants her to know that no matter what the Maknae will have her back.

When they told her, Sooyoung grinned, no indication of sadness or anything she was just smiling.
She held her members hand and comforted them but what else can she do really? What can she do when the decision has been bombed to them like this?
She quielty observes everyone and when they day finishes, she just sat at the corner of her room. In deep thought.
She's happy for her even when people would have asks a million question.
Even if it would put them on a situation she never really imagined.
Sooyoung believe that all of them have this certain connection, that they will walk through everything together no matter what. She believed and still believes.
She just can't throw a 10 year old friendship, they both can't.
She just hope the other isn't sorry because Sooyoung doesn't want her to be.
Be happy is all she hopes her to be.

Yuri scoffs, annoyed at one point.
Aren't they friends? A heads up would have been nice.
Yuri was mad because she have the right to be, she was mad.
She cried and shouted like all of this was a nightmare and that she just needed to wake up.
She doesn't want everything to end like this.
Is this how we want it to end? Didn't we promise? She wanted to asked and make sense of it all.
She grabs a paper and pen and writes and writes and writes until she no longer see what she writes. Until nothing on the paper is readable.
Yuri scoffs then laughs.
Because she figures that at the end of every rant she did it sums up to her wanting the other to do her best no matter how hard it to be.

Unnie.
Out of everyone, it would be worst for her.
Yoona thought.
Tiffany won't be there to listen when all her korean and english are lost with the sobs.
No Hyoyeon that would say something funny to make her stop crying.
No Sunny who would offer a drink even when she doesn't drink beer and soju.
No Taeyeon who looks from afar and nods on her to reassure that everything will be fine.
No Yuri that would offer her shoulders for her to cry on.
No Sooyoung that would understand her even without her saying anything at all.
No Seohyun that would offer her the warmest hug she could give to remind her that she's never alone.
Unnie.
It was hard for her and Yoona is frustrated that she can't do anything to make it lighter for her.
Unnie.
She wanted to call her, be there for her.
But how can she be when her next move will be interpreted and used against everyone else.
Unnie.
Yoona trembles.
Unnie.
I love you.
Unnie.
Yoona doesn't know what do.
Yoona is lost and that unnie wouldn't be there to find her.
Yoona wants to run to her and carries the weight of the world with her.
Yoona wants to run to her and hug her and tell her, that it was alright and everything would be fine.
Yoona wants to tell her that because it was the truth.
They'll be alright.

There still times when Jessica asked if she did the right thing.
But then it evaporates on the thin air, when she sees a picture of the 8 girls on her bed table.
A picture passed to her, Minjin unnie gave it to Soojung to her.
It was a picture that says a million words.
"No matter what, we are proud of you. Today, tomorrow and forever we are friends, with you always."